Really Scared of the Future

Hi there!
My name is Nina and have had tinnitus for six weeks now.
I have had a few 'panic attacks' and trouble sleeping, but I feel like I'm improving with those two.
I think my tinnitus isnt extremely loud but it is also not very mild. I can hear it very clearly and all day long. It annoys me obviously but im able to mask it with the television or music. Besides the sound in my head, my ears are also very sensible and after a day at uni they really hurt. All this makes me very scared of the future. Im only 19 years old and I already feel like my life is over before it has even started. Im still going to school, Im studying history, but i am not able to focus on reading anymore. I also feel that it has a massive impact on my social life. I dont enjoy going out that much, but my friends asked me to go to the movies last week and I was just to afraid to go. Im trying to stay positive but it is really hard; I feel disabled really.
(I am Dutch btw, sorry for the bad English)

 

I know how you feel. Had it a few months and still upset, as the longer it goes on, the more I am assuming it's staying. You are young though, and hopefully it may go.

What is the ringing like?

and welcome to the forum. I havnt posted much, but the support is great.

 

Hi Nina.
Your tinnitus is very new so theres a good chance it will get lower or fade away. Do you know what caused it? And even if it doesnt there is a 95% chance you will habituate to it within 12-18 months. That means your brain will block it out most of the time, and even when you hear it you wont care about it. Your reaction now is normal when tinnitus is new. Your brain is alert on new signals in your body. Just give it time. Your life is not over. Pay no attention to horror stories on forums. These are very special cases wich happens very rarely. Thats like worrying to get a rare desiase or something, it just wont do you any good. However, be carefull about loud sounds and otoxic meds. This is something everyone should be carefull about, tinnitus or not. I know its not easy, but the sooner you can calm yourself down about this and stop obsessing, the sooner you will get your life back.

 

thank you guys for your replies
I will try to relax a little bit more, and dont pity myself that much. My tinnitus is a high pitched whiz, with a 'whisper'(like the wind) it feels like there is a bit of pressure on my ears/in my head. Ive been to the doctor and she said that I dont have any hearing damage, which surprised me. She said my blood pressure is too high which can cause the sounds. But im not convinced because of the pain in my ears.

 

Hi Nina
It does get better
I just completed my second month, and the T is still there but physiologically feel better, the key is don't get anxious, never cover your ears to monitor the T and try avoiding quiet places and you will start feeling better in time

 

If you have high blood pressure I would recomend controlling it with diet. My dad is on blood pressure meds. Theyre helping, but there are side effects, and there are people here who have gotten their tinnitus from those meds. My T is alittle over 2 months old and its reduced alot lately. Right now I have to cover my ears to hear it and my silent and very low days are comming more and more often. I think its resolving itself. Since its not hearing damage (wich is the worst kind) its not unlikely that it resolves on its own. I didnt have any hearing damage either, and I noticed improvement after my anxiety left me and I started eating healthier.

 

Great that your tinnitus is reducing! Must be such a relief I have been trying to lower my blood pressure with diet and exercising, but it is not working yet. I find it quite frustrating that there is so much lack of understanding as well , friends and family tell me that they think I shouldnt exaggerate that much. How do you guys cope with that?

 

Thanks for your advice! Seems like the 2 months is really a turning point for some sufferers, I hope that I will be one of them.

 

Hey @nina95 , Glad you found us here on TT!! This forum is a wonderful resource for those of us with T, especially for newbies like yourself!! There is great information on here and a ton of great support from people who "GET IT"!. We know exactly what you are going through, because we have been through it ourselves!

T sucks, no way to sugar coat it! Sorry! Especially during the first few months. What you are experiencing is unfortunately "normal". So don't freak out. Just as Jesse said, your life is not over! The quicker you can get stabilized and evened out psychologically/emotionally the better! Make sure you are getting proper sleep !! Sleep deprivation is the #1 driver of anxiety/depression with T!! Find masking techniques that work, be sure to get proper exercise and diet, work on things like breathing exercises and ways to chill out like meditation. If you can't get your emotions and thoughts in control, consider a short term AD to even you out. Consult with your doctor.

You WILL get through this and you will get your life back!! It does take a lot of effort and desire, but it can be done! I am living proof!!

Stay connected here on TT and stay connected to your life (family, friends, school, etc...). You can do this!!

Jeff

 

Tell them to listen to an annoying sound 24/7, including when theyre trying to sleep. Or actually, its easier for them since they know they can turn it off whenever they want. I hate it when people dont understand that its not just a sound. It effects your sleep, your mood and its just a constant worry. Its hard. In the begininng that is. For 95% of people who have had tinnitus for more than 18 months, its no longer an issue in their life. Its like the nose is in your eyesight. It always is, but most of the time you dont even notice it. Thats how the brain works. It gets in heaps of signals all the time, and it cant take them all in at the same time. Thats what happens when people have had tinnitus for more than a year. The brain starts finding the tinnitus signals less and less important and it starts ignoring it. Right now you hear it all the time because its new and your brain keeps focusing on it and is being alert. Like I said, your life is not over. Its just on hold...

 

Yeah, it's hard talking about it. I don't want to sound like I am moaning and bringing everybody down, but also you need somebody to speak to too. That's why forums like this, at least in the initial stages, are useful.

On the plus side, even if it doesn't go, my diet is like super healthy now. Cut right back on caffeine and sugar, and taking vitamin tablets and eating more veg. lol.

My tinnitus is like a faint kettle whistle, I only notice it during the day if really listening or covering my ears, which am trying to stop! Slightly worse at night of course, but am managing to sleep, so this could be worse.

Matt

 

Hi Nina ! I'm a french and I'm 19, as you. I'm suffering T since july 2014. And I feel better now. Protect yiy of lound sounds and life (shopping, sport,...). Good luck and courage !

 

It was for me. After about six weeks i started dealing with it better. I accepted it's probably staying for ever. Since then i've been coping better each month or so.
It's great you can mask it with tv. Mines so loud, nothing masks it.
And i was really depressed when it started. But i'm getting to the point where it doesn't really bother me. Hopefully yours will go completely, but it's unlikely. But in time, it should get quieter. And one things for certain, in time you will definetely cope better.
Avoid loud environments for now, and go to ENT. They'll probably not be able to help much, but you never know.
Good luck and stay strong.

 

PS : I love history ! There are great studies ! I'm a study law

 

Welcome Nina,

While I'm an "old guy" I too was 19 when my tinnitus started, but I do know how it started. I was a little too close to an explosion while crawling through a fairly narrow tunnel. In my case the volume and intensity of the hiss sound was affected by fatigue, stress, or being exposed to loud noises. Especially when that exposure was for long periods of time. Because that initial trauma also caused hearing loss, that has gotten worse over the years. In 2004 I started wearing hearing aids and for me the hearing aids greatly reduced both the intensity and frequency of tinnitus episodes. There is hope and you do survive "T." I know, I've been surviving it for over 40 years.

Good luck,

Al Savage

 

If you have ear pain, you might have an ear infection. Did you visit an Ent yet?

 

Hi! I did visit my ENT and she said that my ears looked normal, I also did a hearing test and there was nothing wrong with my hearing as well. The only problem was my blood pressure she said. But the earpain is a mystery indeed :/

 

Cool! How do you manage to stay focused on your books with the tinnitus?

 

Wow 40 years is a long time! But great that the hearing aids reduced your tinnitus.

 

Yes I can understand completely why you were depressed. That is something that frightens me a bit because I have never been in that position, I am normally very upbeat and positive but I feel like my whole character has changed. I hope that time will help me and everyone else with this

 

I agree. Without the tinnitus I would never have started to eat superhealthy.

 

Well the fact you are an upbeat and positive person, means you will beat tinnitus.

 

Hi Nina,

I was sorry to read about your experience with tinnitus. 6 weeks is not a very long time to have the issue and so you may be one of the lucky ones which resolves by itself.

If you haven'y already I would recommend you make an appointment to see an ENT just to make sure there are no underlying problems. Most likely this will come back clean and the ENT won't have a clue as to the problem. Don't take this negatively. It is far better if you have nothing wrong than to be told you have something more serious like Meniere's Disease. Don't now freak out and think you have it...it's normally accompanied by balance issues.

The fact that you can mask the tinnitus by playing music or watching television is a very good sign, it means that your habituation to the sound should happen sooner rather than later. You may always notice the sound in quiet environments but given enough time it will cease to impact your life.

Right now you have to focus on measuring your reaction to the sound and eliminating that problem. This is the first step on the road to recovery and habituation. By eliminating your reaction you will take care of your anxiety. If you are able to manage your reaction then you can avoid anti-anxiety drugs or sleeping pills. Unfortunately some people have very intrusive tinnitus and can't.

Be sure that when you are listening to any sound masker that you set it so you can still hear the tinnitus, this is important part of the habitation process. Try not to check your tinnitus levels throughout the day. The more time you give it, the more time it will own you.

As for the pain, when I first got Tinnitus six years ago I got some nasty ear pain along with it. Over time it too subsided. I believe a component of it is brought on your reaction, because you are regularly checking your ears your awareness of them is heightened. I get this pain when I am consciously aware of my ears and about to do something or am doing something like go into a noisy environment. Once my mind forgets it the pain seems to go with it. Weird I know, but look up Tonic Tensor Tympani Syndrome. As you read you will discover that the condition goes when the stress goes and that no damage is being done to your ear while it happens.

Just so you know from onset six years ago to habituation with low volume tinnitus took me around 4-6 months to recover and 1 year to never give it a moments thought. The only time I noticed it was when I was reading in quiet room and at night going to sleep. However opening a window, playing a masking sound like waves crashing on a beach at low volume was all it took to take my thoughts away from it. For the last 6 years I have been totally fine and life was normal...however.....

The biggest issue here is more to do with your future. You must wear ear protection in loud environments where hearing protection would normally be applied, this is environments louder than 80db. This includes movie theaters, concerts, clubs etc. If you don't protect your ears you may make your existing tinnitus louder and more intrusive and/or develop hyperaccusis. These are both nasty and you would do well to avoid them. My advice to you is the same advice I would give anyone regardless of whether they have tinnitus or not. Protect your ears in environments louder than 80db. I am back on this board because I made that mistake.

Hope habituation comes swiftly for you.

 

Nina, I write computer code for a living, and also do freelance writing which requires a lot of reading. For me, I cannot read in a silent room. I will usually turn on some sort of white-noise, like a fan or something like that. It helps me ignore the whistle in my head.

 

Nina,
I am glad that you have this forum to get answers and support. I have had T for over 30 years ! Last year was the first time I found out that I was not alone with this .I thought I was dieing or something.. But I am still here! Good life with 2 beautiful daughters. I have had all of the test and my doctor and ENT say that there was nothing wrong with my hearing. It has been a challenge over the years. I sleep with a fan on, TV and have for years. I have gone through quite a few fans. I get depress at times when it gets to me and scream to God for answers and healing! I still trust Him, with or without the T. I manage it with white noise, friends,family and prayer. I hope that one day there is a cure. I don't have any medical or home remedy advice, but only to stay active. Laugh more, go places , to ignore the T. I mange with things to do to ignore the sound. Its the night time, that is sometimes a challenge.
So stay active, listen to soothing instrumental music, rain forest, ocean waves etc. while you read and sleep.
I read a lot of the questions and answer here. So, stay informed.
The thought that I am not an alien with this is a great comfort.
Stay focus and God Bless.

 

Ear pain has nothing to do with blood pressure whatsoever - another stupid doctor excuse.
It has to do with the increased gain and hyperactivity in your auditory system, tinnitus is one symptom, sensitivity is another (hyperacusis or H), and ear pain is a form of H.

 

Yeah I already thought that it wasnt the blood pressure that causes earpain. But I didnt know about the H. I will do some resourch on that. Thank you!

 

I will definitely buy a fan!

 

I think I am going to buy custom made ear protection. Thanks for warning me!

 

Thinking about the future at the most difficult time of T suffering is a distorted thought, called cognitive distortion in CBT. We use the current reality to project a catastrophic future, called catastrophic thinking. I learn my lesson. I did just that, worrying about my future while my present (5 years ago) was just unbearable & unlivable. My ultra high pitch T and severe H plus relentless anxiety and panic attacks painted a very dark future, if there was one at all. Every time I thought about the future, it sank me into a mental black hole. Others told me the future might be that bad that I shouldn't be so desperate. Well they are right. Now a few years later, I am back to normal and living an enjoyable & productive life. T still rings but I don't give a dime high or low. My body is hardened to the T ringing. My perception about T also change with time. Now I consider T as part of my being and it is not a threat. The same sound that used to overwhelm me, no longer. So I say to myself that had I known about what I am now, all those horrific sufferings about the future could have been spared, and I probably would habituate even faster. I have now learned that the past is history, the future is not yet a reality, the present moment in front of me is the only one I can do something about, and I try to live the moment positively and enjoy my life. If we can remove fear about the future from the T equation, T should have less tyranny over us and we will be less stressful about it. The less stress, the easier time with T.