Sneezes, Screams, Crying, Barking

Discussion in 'Support' started by Tenna, May 9, 2014.

tinnitus forum
    1. Tenna
      Anime

      Tenna Member

      Location:
      Europe
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2013
      I'm right now in the aftermath of a huge discussion with my mother. Whenever she yawns, she has a tendency of adding a 'scream' to the end, it's hard to explain, painful to experience. (Even prior to t)
      Point is she did it straight into my ears yesterday, and on a daily basis sneezing, screams, crying and barking is a part of what a normal ear should go through.
      Some time ago I was sitting next to a girl, who watched something one direction related, and SCREAMED straight into my ear. I was in total shock, and so where the surrounding people cause it was Loud.
      Had I punched her in the face to make her stop everyone would've been startled, surely it would heal after a week, but a punch would be physical abuse and illegal. On an everyday basis, a knockout to my ears is forgotten, and does hardly count in the first place. I feel an increase in distorted hearing, a counterattack when I tell people to not sneeze directly into my ears, point a baby's death ray cry towards my ears, pointing out my dogs extreme outbreaks of sudden barking despite his positioning next to my head.
      They say "There has to be room for all of us", making me feel like the grand issue and can't be included as nothing but I have changed.
      I have no idea how to deal with this. My mother told me it was a problem to her that I react so emotionally to such, and my emotional response would ruin the entire evening, and if I could stop doing that.
      Then that we had to talk to a tinnitus-expert as it clearly isn't working out for any of us, thing is just the 90% of ENTs/t-experts here have their t-knowledge bound to the 5 first lines on wiki.One told us "No a dog bark can't give you t"...
      I don't know what to do or say to any of them, how to cope with this..
      "There has to be room for all of us" makes me feel like I'm not making room for them, it fills me with guilt, and ultimately there isn't room for me and I should sacrifise myself.
       
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    2. Sound Wave
      Curious

      Sound Wave Member Benefactor Team Tech

      Location:
      Finland
      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Probably headphones
      We can't control dogs from barking or babies from crying etc. Surely you understand that. If people are over-sensitive to loud noises, then they unfortunatelly just have to adapt. There is no other way. Same applies to people who are over-sensitive to smells and there are probably other examples as well.

      "I have no idea how to deal with this". Well, one obvious solution is to protect your ears from loud sudden noises. It can be inconvenient to wear ear protection all the time, but what's the alternative - feel miserable all the time? There are also modern technologies that can help here, like these active in-ear ear plugs, that automatically reduce loud noises, but let you hear otherwise normally. http://www.etymotic.com/hp/hd15.html
       
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    3. carol kane
      Wishful

      carol kane Member

      Location:
      Lincolnshire united kingdom
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/13
      Fantastic... thank you sound wave i'm ordering some.
       
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    4. carol kane
      Wishful

      carol kane Member

      Location:
      Lincolnshire united kingdom
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/13
      Dear Tenna, some people family or not are so bloody insensitive to other peoples problems, unless they suffer from it they don't seem to care. I have had these arguments with family and friends, as i've snapped when they've done something really loud around me or laughed so loud right next to my ear, and yes they all say you have to get used to loud noises again and roll their eyes at me ... well F..k off i have a terrible condition to have to live with every day not you!!! and if the sounds they make are stupidly loud i just tell them, or i lift my coat and just leave.
      I'm not asking for special treatment, just a little consideration goes a long way, my thoughts are with you.
       
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    5. bill 112
      Studious

      bill 112 Member

      Location:
      Republic Of Ireland
      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure
      Tenna dont ever feel guilty for what you have nobody ever asked for this condition so why should we feel guilty about it.It is not your fault that nobody understands thats why TT is so great everybody understands and is so compassionite to one another because everyone here knows what T is like.I recently had a huge arguement with my brother over his lack of caring towards my condition as we would be watching tv and he of course would have to crank the volume up full blast and I would kindly ask him to turn it down and would always get a snotty remark from him something like f--k sake you and your stupid ears.Of course his comments and lack of understanding was extremely upsetting to say the least but I would brush it off and simply say to myself he doesnt understand and I shouldnt expect him to.Hes 19 and couldnt care less as any teenager at his age would do and any time I try to explain what its like his face fills up with boredom and disinterest.I would always see him using power tools or leaf blowers and I would try to put ear muffs on him and he would throw them back at me and tell me to f--k off.He simply doesnt understand that im trying to protect him and that I never want to see him go through what many of us has been through.Its so hard for people without this condition to grasp the impact it has on someones life they simply cant comprehend what its like.One day he went too far when I asked him to turn something down he said take your re---ed ears somewhere else and of course I flipped at him for his lack of understanding and careless attitude towards me.After this brutal arguement he did apologise and said he will try to be more caring but this remains to be seen.People in general are noisy bafoons and may never truely understand this condition and to ask for compassion from these people is alot to ask for especially for a condition they really know little about or truely understand.Research is progressing and a cure is coming of this im sure and every sufferer will have his or her day we just have to keep surviving the best we can until this day arrives.Keep the chin up Tenna.
       
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    6. cullenbohannon
      Thinking

      cullenbohannon Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      1/2014
      Tenna I was like that with my family as well, I dont know what you have talked about with them but i think you need to tell them what you have posted here. Describe the pain you feel both physically and emotionally. I explained to my family many times please don't scream, cough, etc in my ear they kept doing it. I felt the same way as you and got quite depressed and was close to breaking down in front of them. Try being vulnerable in front of them, play the sound you here to them describe how terrifying it was when you first got T and how you don't want it to get worse. I do keep ear plugs with me just in case, [There has to be room for all of us" makes me feel like I'm not making room for them, it fills me with guilt, and ultimately there isn't room for me and I should sacrifise myself.] Please tell them this , of course there is room for you they are your family and love you, people just dont know how to deal with people with T because we dont show physical symptoms. Let them know the emotional support you will get from them is incredibly important in terms of your rrecovery.
       
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    7. Tenna
      Anime

      Tenna Member

      Location:
      Europe
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2013
      Thanks all of you. I couldnt have said that better carol.

      @bill 112 at first glance your brother is a regular teenager, which is the problem. People are generally so inconsiderate, without having t or any defiancies, we're bombed with ego people lacking complete empathy every day. From a normal state it's pretty hard dealing with. I can't help but to get a feeling of "Why couldnt all these inconsiderate noisy bafoons have gotten t"..

      @cullenbohannon you're right, I'll try prepare a list and show them
       
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    8. Zimichael

      Zimichael Member Benefactor

      Location:
      N. California
      Tinnitus Since:
      (1956) > 1980 > 2006 > 2012 > (2015)
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ac. Trauma & Ac.Trauma + Meds.
      Tenna... You could have been me writing that initial post here. 100% can relate to your attitude and situation. Ha, ha...(sic) but yeah, simple sneezes, coughs, laughs, etc. too close are cause for reaction - from me and the tinnitus! I would add Dodge Ram trucks in there and Harley Davidson motorcycles as things to eliminate with an RPG too. Maybe you don't have many of those in Scandinavia, hopefully. Also DOGS are much worse here in USA than Europe, re poor training.

      I have often thought of getting tomato sauce (ketchup) and having it dribble out of my ears in public and see what kind of reaction I get. Would be fun yeah?! My preferred place would be in our big natural foods Coop where all the Hippie moms (and occasional dads) shop with their 'free range' kids, that are out of control..."Love, peace, freedom, no discipline, and all that". I get almost knocked out when one of them screams around a corner of an aisle shrieking, even with my "half protection" plugs in. Often I scold the parent and get very dirty looks, then to make them feel bad I imply that it was an explosion (initially correct actually) that gave me 'sensitive ears'...then they look at my camouflage pants which I often wear (great for landscaping work - lots of pockets and super strong) and presume I was blown up in Iraq. It works wonders. They back off and take their sqwalling kids to the back of the store until I check out and leave. Ha ha.

      Whatever works! One day I should write a little booklet: "Strategies and Methods for Living with Reactive Tinnitus in a Too Darn Noisy World"...IWLM could add some chapters, and others too. The there would have to be a section on how living alone and a huge drop off in friends often ends up being the reality, as yeah, we can be a bit of a "downer" when people have to pay attention to something they cannot see. "You look fine!"...Duh!

      All to say...I "get it". Thanks for posting so expressively on that 'sore' topic.

      Take care, Zimichael
       
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