Suicidal

Discussion in 'Support' started by jeremy06, Oct 14, 2018.

    1. Harley

      Harley Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      I'm not sure how much more sour it could turn for Keka, but her mother is not a good person and an idiot to boot.
      If she could find another place to live, it woukd be the best case scenario for her.

      What if there was a house fire while she was locked up in the house?
      On top of forcible confinement, now we also have reckless endangerment.

      Keka should not be paying for her mothers stupidity.
       
    2. Chinmoku

      Chinmoku Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown, possibly medication
      I'm in the same situation but you can't say that. There are parents who have children in their twenties and then contract pancreas cancer and they are gone. Shit happens. Having children is a risk. I hope we can both overcome this madness and be there for our children one way or another.
       
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    3. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I want to do it in the next day or two.

      I want to choose helium but I don't have money to buy it. I don't have money to buy a rope.

      I don't need money to jump off a building. If it's high enough, I should die from the fall.
       
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    4. Seymour
      Worried

      Seymour Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2009 at least
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Probably chronic ear infections as a child
      She does not have anxiety and doesn’t panic so she habituates fast. She’s not constantly hearing it at loud level.

      But yeah she’s way calmer than me. It’s my first spike in forever and it’s been only 8 days and I’m already in doom scenarios.
       
    5. linearb
      Psychedelic

      linearb Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      temporarily banished from this plane of existence.
      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      karma
      I have significant anxiety that predates tinnitus by years, experience with panic disorder and tinnitus I can hear as a 14khz squeal in all environments since 2010

      life goes on. I have to put more time and energy into coping with the realities of my life than "some people" do, and that's just one of the realities of my life. I'm not going to say "it's fine", "it gets better". These are judgements and I don't find that kind of thinking useful. Things simply are, and we react to them how we do.
       
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    6. Seymour
      Worried

      Seymour Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2009 at least
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Probably chronic ear infections as a child
      I was just saying from personal experience that anxiety makes my tinnitus worse.
       
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    7. Chinmoku

      Chinmoku Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown, possibly medication
      Thank you Star, I'll check this out now
       
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    8. HootOwl

      HootOwl Member Benefactor

      Location:
      California
      Tinnitus Since:
      2009
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Explanation in About You
      Please Pete, hang in there. I know it’s hard. Believe me, I have severe reactive T and horrible sound distortion in all outside and most internal environments. My only reprieve is a quiet room with music, but essentially I am for all intents and purposes bedbound. I’m trying to get out on my balcony little by little, and try to listen for the birds through the white noise and whistling distortion of the far off traffic but it’s devastating all the same.

      But each day we crawl closer to a cure. I know that we will see that, or at the very least effective treatments in our lifetime. Please, please just keep going. I know you use this thread as a cathartic release for all of your pain, but many of us understand at a visceral level what you are going through and you are not alone in your suffering.

      Have you messaged linerab about that book? I’m convinced that your ear pain is treatable with the right regiment.
       
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    9. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I don't want to "hang in there."

      You don't understand. I have severe ear pain right now. Out of nowhere and the tinnitus is loud. I am holding my hand to my left ear as I type this. The pain is inhumane.

      I want to die. I tried joining a suicide site. I am willing to jump off a building. I have to decide which one.

      Also fighting with a sibling about money. I don't want to endure this anymore. The only thing stopping me is fear of being crippled or a brain injury. I think if I go up enough stories I might succeed but I wanted a less risky method but I need money for those.
       
    10. acute
      Depressed

      acute Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music. Stress, meds, Invisalign ?
      I will simply kill myself if this does not improve. I don't care anymore, I just accepted my destiny. This is what life wanted to happen to me. I don’t know why but I am living what I am living. It doesn’t matter. I will never have a joyful youth. It doesn’t matter. I just accepted this is what happened to me. This is what is happening. It has been a short life but no problem. I have accepted it. I will end my own suffering when the time comes. I will try to end this with all my strength. I think the most effective thing will be to jump over a bridge near here. I know what bridge, many people commited suicide there in the past. I already went to take a look. You have to have courage, who will win? The stupid survival instinct or the need to stop suffering and the desire to turn off the tinnitus forever?
       
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    11. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      My family member can inherit my car.

      I wish I could have arranged for someone to take my dog. But, I can't wait any longer.
       
    12. joe e

      joe e Member

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown, woke up with it
      I so wish sufferers like us could find peace.
      I keep losing to the survival instinct and suffer immeasurably for it.
      May I ask, how is your sleep, as I am suffering near total insomnia.
       
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    13. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      My ear bone and the muscle there(?) is in so much pain. Just immediately under the ear. Why can't anyone figure it out? Why do I have to live in this agony? This is is inhumane. Euthanasia should be allowed for this. Even assisted suicide. I think there is a place in Switzerland? Why only one country? This is cruel.
       
    14. acute
      Depressed

      acute Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music. Stress, meds, Invisalign ?
      I take near two pills in order to put me sleep. But I wake up 4 hours later in the middle of the night. It’s awful. I'm a fucking sleepless junkie and I couldn't care less.

      I’m so sorry for your suffering... :(
       
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    15. Juan

      Juan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Several causes
      Pills for sleeping.. that's a bad idea. Try exercise, infusions, stuff like that… natural things.
       
    16. acute
      Depressed

      acute Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music. Stress, meds, Invisalign ?
      Actually, EVERYTHING is a bad idea if you have tinnitus :ROFL:
       
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    17. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      How long have you had tinnitus? Do you use a fan or white/pink noise machine? Or an app on your phone?

      Aps don't help me anymore and my fan doesn't help but it's a noise in the background besides the tinnitus.

      I wish I didn't have to use it but my tinnitus is too loud. I get crappy sleep but I think your sleep will improve. I talk from experience. I get crappy sleep and crappy sleep but yours should improve from 4 hrs. The other guy is correct. If you are able to exercise like jogging or running, try? I wish I could.

      I am sometimes up til 4am. The worst part about this is the poor quality of sleep. Besides duration, quality of sleep is also important.
       
    18. Chrispodie74

      Chrispodie74 Member

      Location:
      Columbia
      Tinnitus Since:
      2009
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
       
    19. Chrispodie74

      Chrispodie74 Member

      Location:
      Columbia
      Tinnitus Since:
      2009
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      I just joined this. Seems I am not alone in the hell of tinnitus and psych med withdrawal. It’s a world of frustration, despair, hopelessness and other things.
      Constant tinnitus for the past 10 years along with frequent med changes have been horrible. I also have chronic headaches. My quality of life has been very low to say the least. Emotional breakdowns i know to well. I don’t know what complaining on this forum is good for. I guess I should just ignore the pain and be grateful. Suck it up. That’s what I hear from the people around me, who don’t have a clue. I get so tired of sucking it up. It’s too much!
       
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    20. Chrispodie74

      Chrispodie74 Member

      Location:
      Columbia
      Tinnitus Since:
      2009
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      If you find yourself laying on the floor crying, and thinking about jamming a screw driver into your ear, something is not right.
       
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    21. Star64
      Kick ass

      Star64 Member

      Location:
      Melbourne Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      2001
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      Withdrawal from all psyche drugs is horrendous, and I am sorry to hear that you are going through this too.
      You are definitely not alone, there are plenty of us here on Tinnitus Talk that can relate to what you are experiencing, so at least you will have people who understand what you are going through, so that is one good thing about this forum :huganimation:
       
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    22. Star64
      Kick ass

      Star64 Member

      Location:
      Melbourne Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      2001
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      It is a bloody cruel condition, I have shed many tears because of it. :huganimation:
       
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    23. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      A friend threatened to call on me. My friend and brother both have real mild tinnitus and they still don't understand severe tinnitus.

      There is no help for this.

      If you have mild or moderate tinnitus, then maybe meds, TRT, CBT and whatever else might help a bit.

      That's the extent of it though.
       
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    24. Star64
      Kick ass

      Star64 Member

      Location:
      Melbourne Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      2001
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      Just a thought, why don't you try the liquid Prozac? It may be easier to withdraw from dosage wise if you do decide to withdraw from this drug.
       
    25. all to gain
      No Mood

      all to gain Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      June 2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      never trust a doctor
      Yeah, I mentioned a liquid form earlier. problem is that many doctors won't prescribe it as it's way more expensive.
      I would ask about it, but I'm now living back abroad.

      Really unsure what to do for the best really. Cant live like this much more.

      I still haven't tried mindfulness and meditation. I'm just so down to even bother trying. I just keep wanting my old life back, something I know isn't coming back any time soon... ever.
       
    26. Star64
      Kick ass

      Star64 Member

      Location:
      Melbourne Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      2001
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      Hopefully if you decide to try and reduce your dosage they will prescribe it for you. Liquid is way easier to make reductions from, I was dry cutting tablets and ended up with crumbs sometimes.

      I have just posted in another thread about meditation, somebody was amused by my post and thought it was funny but I don't care, it helps me. It certainly is no cure for tinnitus, but it helps me relax. I usually do it before I go to bed and I used it recently to sit in the dentist chair for over an hour, normally this would see me having a panic attack (I do not like the dentist, I have TMJ)

      Sure it is not a cure for panic disorder either, You can only give it a try, it may not work for you. One things for sure it certainly will not cause you any further harm.
       
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    27. Allan1967

      Allan1967 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1997
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      Today for me is a severe day. Days like today I start looking up assisted dying. I like the sound of Pegasos in Switzerland. I have so many emotional ties here on earth however - wife, children. They make this hard to progress. I'm 52. I've got another 30 years potentially... it seems like an eternity right now but I hope for something else to strike me down. If only I had a crystal ball that said my demise would happen sooner rather that later.
       
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    28. Juan

      Juan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Several causes
      Well, you can go for a walk along the beach, or do some exercise. That's a good idea! ;-)
       
    29. acute
      Depressed

      acute Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music. Stress, meds, Invisalign ?
      Thank you but I think jumping off a bridge while getting very high on bezos is a better idea for my current situation.
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
    30. MattS
      Relaxed

      MattS Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Power Tools
      So you've tried these things Pete?

      You tried CBT?
      You tried TRT?

      You know they won't work because *you tried them* and they didn't work?

      How about that book from @linearb - did that also not work?

      From my vantage point, it seems that what won't work is ignoring advice, and telling everyone that's trying to help you that they simply don't understand. That, clearly, seems not to be helping you.

      We can't help you Pete without your help.
      You need to help yourself.
       
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