Suicidal

I feel you exactly. I've been coping just fine with my tinnitus but recently started with the distortions. It's been devastating. The shower used to be my safe space where I couldn't hear my tinnitus. Now it's a whistling screeching hellhole. I'm worried eventually all frequencies will be distorted and then I'll be deaf. Isolated. Unable to communicate. What a life, I'm only 19 and it's already nearing the end. I can feel it.

 

I literally caused my own T by listening to stupid loud music. It was very hard for me to forgive myself for ruining my life. I was finally able to forgive myself when I came to the understanding that there was no way in hell I could have known what the consequences would be for playing that loud music. Once I truly forgave myself, my mental healing process could begin.

. I use to think this same way. No way could I deal with this torture for the next 40 years. I payed a lot of money to a very good Psychiatrist who told me not to futurize my thoughts. In other words why worry about 40 years from now? I could get hit by a bus tomorrow. Why suffer all that worrying and anxiety for nothing? The only thing that matters is right here and now. No one is guaranteed tomorrow much less 40, 50, 60 years from now.

Both of these mindset changes helped me a lot in my healing journey.

 

The do-gooders are basically the worst people on planet Earth.

 

Just a FYI... Pegasos will accept applications from tinnitus sufferers 'in principle'.

 

Did you ask them?

 

My ear pain reduced a lot in the past couple of days and was really good today until now.

I went into a Walmart and I didn't have to. What I was looking for, they didn't have it and later, I discovered I don't need it yet. So I went in for NOTHING.

What is the point of this story? When I walked through the sliding doors, some person was pulling out a cart and it made a loud screeching noise.

Am I fucked now?!? My left ear has some pain now. The event was 3 to 4 hours ago. I am told that there can be a delay in ear pain. But, that makes no sense to me!!! :-( Is that true? A delay of hours after a particular loud noise and then ear pain?!? I don't know when a loud noise will happen!!! Am I supposed to wear ear plugs in stores?!? The last time I wore plugs a lot, I think the pressure from the foam on my ear canal caused pain.

I just feel like it's hopeless. If my ear pain was from TMJ, how can it be today?!? I didn't do anything that would be from a jaw problem!!! I am just tired of this cycle. All I do is suffer from this and think about how I can kill myself. I want the eat pain to end and then I don't have to endure the loud tinnitus either.

 

How will you get me the book or the pages?

 

My ear pain is really bad in the muscle? Is it a muscle? Right near the bottom of the ear in the joint area at the bone. What is that? Is it equally likely TMJ or hyperacusis or more likely one rather than the other?

I should hope it's TMJ? That is easier to treat or can noise induced pain ever go away? My ear pain seems very frequent and the main problem is when I get it, it persists indefinitely.

It can also appear randomly at a moderate or severe level but almost always ends up at a severe level for days or even weeks.

 

You might want to see a jaw and facial pain doctor to check your jaw to see where the pain is coming from.

 

What is Pegasos?

 

Did you go to the store without earplugs? You have to protect yourself from people.

I really have sympathy for you since I was 50 yards from the carts... this store has plastic carts... but then someone pulled out a... plastic... cart and slammed the child seat down and I winced.

Bathrooms... those stupid vortex hand dryers that are loud as hell, people slamming the toilet lids down, squeaky doors... if the tinnitus seems worse with ear plugs, cut some foam ones in half just to knock down the shock.

 

Voluntary assisted dying in Switzerland.

Hopefully none of us will need it

 

I thought the following 60 Minutes segment was interesting, and seemed to connect with some of the thoughts and feelingss expressed on this thread:

Scientists are using MRI scans to reveal the physical makeup of our thoughts and feelings
Ten years ago, 60 Minutes met a team of scientists at Carnegie Mellon University who had begun to decode simple thoughts inside the brain. Now they've moved on to identifying complex thoughts from spirituality to suicide

 

Yes.

 

I just want to die. Nothing else.

 

I said I wasn't wearing any. I stopped wearing plugs because the ringing is so loud and before, plugs were causing pain from pressure on the ear canal - I assume.

I am scared because getting any worse is too much. I sometimes think I might do something brash like jumping off a building.

Can scraping carts make tinnitus worse or just cause a spike?

I will wear plugs from now on when entering stores and hope that they don't make my ears hurt. The sliding doors sometimes make a screeching sound and people have caused carts to make that screeching and scraping sound before but yesterday was pretty bad. I am scared now. I hate being fucked no matter what I do. This is no life.

 

Useless.

I also think that the researchers for tinnitus and hearing loss are useless.

 

My ear pain reduced a bit. Enough that I am not holding my hand to my ear in excruciating pain like yesterday.

I wish I used ear plugs when going through stores. I should have been doing that. I am also scared that having plugs in my canals will cause ear pain. Because I had severe ear pain months ago and I was protecting a lot. That couldn't be from noise.

Carts screeching is normal noise for most people. I am going to buy some more magnesium soon. Chelated okay? I don't know if it matters or if it will help though. It seems like nothing helps.

 

The ear canal can get irritated, but foam earplugs... that aren’t jammed in... shouldn’t be that uncomfortable.
I agree... we put earplugs in... and tinnitus is suddenly punching us in the face, however... at least the noise in our head doesn’t cause damage.

Any loud noise, especially metal on metal (high frequencies) can cause problems for some people. I see construction workers happily jackhammering away without a care, or protection, in the world. We are different.

In my opinion... you should start eliminating variables... check in the TMJ... then scratch that off the list... try some sound therapy in some headphones at a soft level. Learn how to juggle... no seriously... learn something that will keep you occupied. Continue to vent here... if that helps... we are here for you.

Good luck.

 

Suicide is the only way out my friends.

I will not live on my knees.

 

1) custom earplugs.
2) dentist for your jaw.
The tools are there for you. You just have to pick them up.

 

Have you tried curcumin? Seems all the rage these days.

 

I told you it wasn't TMJ. 8 year very severe tinnitus veteran here.

 

How loud is yours?

 

Ugh I think my tinnitus is worse than I initially thought. Maybe the prednisone was damping it right after the MRI injury. Every day for the last two weeks has been 70-80db.

If I stop masking it, the anxiety really ramps up, since I feel helpless and that I’m truly f*cked.

Am I the only one that thinks about events and situations before their trauma and how those places will never be the same? I mean, wtf....I haven’t even seen a movie in 20 years without earplugs, or gone to any clubs or concerts....

and then a 20 minute MRI give this to me?...and then I see these lucky SOBs walking around construction sites or blasting their AirPods.....grrr.

Maybe masking 24/7 is the wrong move for me....maybe I just need to suck it up and deal with the klaxon in my head?

 

[QUOTE="PeteJ, post: 484389, member: 35926"I wish I used ear plugs when going through stores. I should have been doing that. I am also scared that having plugs in my canals will cause ear pain. [/QUOTE]
Why not use ear Muffs instead of plugs. Much easier to take on and off and offers same protection.

 

“In principle” sounds much like Dignitas, basically it’s a no...

 

@keka

How are you? Have things got a little better?

 

I'm a crying mess these days. Not only because of the fact that my mother didn't let me start with the prednisone after 2 gunshots went off in my neighbourhood, she just threatened to punch me in the face and slammed the door right behind me. My entire family thinks I've lost my mind. It's all because of tinnitus. I hope it's not too late to start with the prednisone 6 days after? I should have done this earlier. One more thing to regret. So yeah, I'm having a pretty fun party here... Thank you for asking btw.

What about you???

 

Your sitution does not sound good at all. Is there anyway you can move out? I presume that there isn't, but things can't keep going on like they are.

I'm not sure about prednisone, maybe somebody with more knowledge on here can comment.

I regret so many things. I hate my life now, but I somehow have to make the best of it for my kids' sake. This all could have been so easily avoided, but here I am.