Suicide Is NEVER an Option

Try to ignore the person in question @Bobbie7 as he serves no useful purpose here, other than to mock, use abusive language and be negative. A most undesirable person don't give him your valued time.

 

To those who have been throwing criticism my way:

Alright.... I think I should rather take a different approach to suffering. First of all, I suppose I deserve to be stoned as I think Life is precious: guilty! I am a tinnitus sufferer as well but if we all want to compare and measure our difficulties, I'm afraid I might measure less on the severity scale. First of all, I never implored - as some seem to think - that the most severe of tinnitus sufferers in this forum should continue living, rather gave my own personal viewpoint (as I am permitted to do) that despite adversity Life may still be worth living (look at the positivity thread).

I was told and it has been reiterated several times that on the T spectrum, there are some horrendous examples of the suffering people endure as relates to tinnitus but I have understood this all along. Rather than I being the object of scorn ... I say I understand your pain and if you desire to do away with yourselves, you are perfectly free to do that and you surely do not need to go on ad infinitum to justify your actions to me; I get it. I am NOT the person who commands your life --- rather merely expressing my opinion. It appears that most who talk of suicide actually stop short of this because most... even suffering as they are... WANT to live. If this were not the case, then there would be no Positivity Thread and the number of members is this forum would drop dramatically. Of course I am cognizant of the fact that there are many who do successfully commit suicide too. There will always be those who do not wish to continue to live... for a variety of reasons (as with my husband's maternal grandmother) and they possess that freedom. Just make sure you are OK with leaving emotional upheaval afterward.

It takes great courage to live (when suffering immensely) while 100% despair and futility is all that is needed for suicide. You don't know me... nor what type of adversity I may have but you and others are so swift to judge me as you feel I am judging others (which I am most certainly not). While running my support group of family members of those suffering from mental illness and oftentimes meeting with their afflicted sons/daughters, I cannot even imagine what startling reactions I would be met with if I softened my stance on Life (and the hope of acceptance and of the possibility that one can adjust and still go on to have a quality life) and instead... advocated Death's dark entranceway as an acceptable option. What positive reinforcement would I be issuing as a facilitator?

Respectfully submitted.

 

I agree Michael and thank you.

 

You are welcome @Bobbie7 You are a person of class and some people have to be given a wide berth.
Take care
Michael

 

I am sure @Bobbie7 is trying to help and be compassionate. I also believe @Lex had no intentions to insult or being rude. This thread touches sensitive aspects that come with this affliction, so we have to expect that some of us may get really upset. Suffering sometimes comes with anger and anger should be acceptable. I mean look at us! There was a time in our life where we had dreams, plans, aspirations etc. We propably had concerns and stressful periods but we could relax by being social, share with friends, listening to music, go to the movies or retreat to our favorite silent spot... we could enjoy ourselves. Yet here we are... being stuck in a form of isolation, debating online about suicide due to our relentless noise in our heads. Who would imagine this hellish surprise for his/her life? This outcome is extremely cruel to the point of losing yourself. Every human being regardless of age deserves quality of life. This day the past year i was booking my trip and my summer intensive dance workshops in Vienna, while exhausted from work. That anticipation was such a pleasure. My PC was playing smooth jazz, outside was hot as hell (i love it) and my main concern was my professional issues which i could forget by hanging around with my friends, drinking a cold beer while my ass was feeling the warm rocks of Acropolis which i was sitting on, and enjoying the view of Athens. My... how much i missed that feeling and the 'good' exhaustion. It felt 'light'. That time i could manage everything. I would give everything to turn back time. I missed even the anxienty from work. Was so manageable but i didn't know that time. Today is totally different. No music playing on my PC... I see my reflection in the mirror and i'm not sure who i am anymore. Yes i'm considering suicide as an option. Will i do it? I don't know. I don't know even if i have the guts to shoot my noisy brain in order to force tinnitus to shut the fuck up. It takes great courage for this. What i know though is that the person i knew as myself before tinnitus is might already dead. Even if i find the way to "get out of this maze" somehow, i still won't be the same and sometimes i burst into tears cause i miss so much that smiley dude which i didn't realize was such a great company...

God bless us all.
V.

 

Suicide not being an option is a very scary thing. Why would you want to take away someone's last comfort blanket?

However when it comes to condoning someone elses suicide, I would never do that, which is weird. I feel like there is hope for everybody else except for me.

Parents don't choose to make babies (most often to my knowledge) it happens on accident. At least in my case, as was always made clear to me. I was a late in life accident, hence why I have autism, and why I ruined my parents retirement plans, and resulted in my father becoming so violent that he tried to take my mother and my own life. And obviously as a result of this their marriage fell apart.

I agree with you on everything else though and am NOT arguing with you, perhaps you view a married

 

Quit stalling. Like @Michael Leigh you waltz into this forum with jargon you've learnt from Jastreboff and expect us all to party along. Some of us are deeply insulted by your habituation theories, which only serve to postpone any possible research. You guys can't handle a handful of talking points and cop out and handwring and grandstand and hurl out insults just because you're used to sitting around on forums where the true history behind Jastreboff is heavily censored.

 

Dunno. Maybe grommets. Laser. TMJ treatments, which mithrandir had after an acoustic shock, even though he had pain H, not reverberation. Maybe tenotomy, maybe makes it worse maybe better. Maybe paper patching of the eardrum with Bonians solution up the tube or membrane or something. Maybe stapes reinforcement, I read Marsha Johnson say years ago that some surgeons do it as it helps sometimes... but she doesn't write in forums anymore and no one's bothered to look into what she meant, including herself, because we're apparently all supposed to sit around and be ushered into the middle ages of H knowledge and get habituation rhetoric imposed on us by non-neurotologists. And everyone's now going to Silverstein, but nobody's finding out if he is holding down reverberation, like the Marsha Johnson statement from a decade ago, or just neuropathic pain H, as he's using a pretty retarded official H questionnaire that was devised by mongoloid sound therapists that have never differentiated between types of H. Maybe the eustachian tube is open at the ear end, or in the center and it's difficult to spot. There's also a big tradition of idiopathic recoveries or ear conditions in otology that are better sometimes and worse other times. Some of these theories are popping up in the tensor tympani support group in facebook which more people should be joining.

 

No suicidal person wants to die. This includes people who are successful in killing themselves.

 

How can a child accidentally be conceived, barring rape, a condom break, or some other kind of birth control malfunction with an astronomically low probability?

Consensual, unprotected sex is voluntary.

 

The sex is voluntary, but me being conceived was not. I think my mom said something about trying not to have sex around a certain time of the month worked for her up until I happened. I think it's called the "rhythm" method or something? Has something to do with menstruation. I don't know much about it as I stay away from romance and sex.

But then again she also had kids as a teenager, so maybe she never really had a good plan for birth control. The kids she had as a teenager didnt get autism though, and are much healthier.

 

This sort of thing is covered in basic sex-ed. Ignorance doesn't absolve you of responsibility.

 

I'll never really know, maybe rape was involved? My dad didn't think I was his originally, who knows. My mom never found out who her dad was either. Her mom wouldn't even tell her on her death bed.

Now that you mention it, rape could have been involved in either cases. Especially if you consider rape is possible within a marriage. Since my dad tried to kill my mom, maybe he was capable of raped her too?

 

Do you think they had "basic sex-ed" when my mom grew up and in her schooling? I'm not so sure. I didn't get sex education in school either and I am a "millenial" but I went to a self paced school.

Also my moms school burned down around the time she got pregnant first, so maybe thats why.

 

This is beautifully expressed, a very uplifting and optimistic message I hope everyone takes to heart.

 

Is it the case that she was not a believer in abortion?

 

I don't know and I'm not interested in asking her.

 

@vermillion

Your post has brought up many raw emotions from my first T year. Yes, we walk near the cliff for a long time, but I believe that you are on the road to healing, you just do not know it yet. I share the feeling of life being over as I knew it, and in many ways I consider my post T life as garbage time, still somehow I have been able to keep the same job, the same significant other, same hobbies (minus playing music).... so it must be my life after all, even if the noises inside my head indicate that something is very wrong with the world.

 

Futility ? I don't get it. Can you explain ?

 

"Futility" ...... the quality of being futile = uselessness, pointlessness, hopelessness

 

Isn't that just the worst feeling? It all seems so different now. I thought I had serious issues but now I see that all of them were perfectly solvable, I just needed to trust and love myself a little more... and now this. Feels bad man

 

Yeah, I know the word, thank you. I meant, what you mean, I don't get it. Because people suffering from T or H don't kill theirselves because they feel like they are useless Or do you mean that they lack courage so much that they become indeed futile ?

 

That's not really a good excuse. The information isn't difficult to acquire outside of school, at least in the developed world. If you're engaging in an activity like that you should probably take the initiative to learn about it beyond what you've heard down the grapevine.

Again, ignorance doesn't absolve you of responsibility. Unless you were raped or are somehow unaware that sex creates babies, it's your fault you had a kid.

Anyway, we're getting kind of off topic. Even if a baby is born "accidentally" it's still not their fault and they're under no obligation to stick around.

 

A ' cure' hasn't been found yet, or never will be found because it's a too complex condition where the brain is involved. For example, Alzheimer can't be cured and can get very fast progressive. And also there is no cure for that.
I know some Ent's who are aware of potential treatments. But the problem is those treatments don't cure t or h.
And can worsen t and h in some cases. It's very frustrating to read they do so many research without any effective results to give us a relief

 

Some people have found improvement in the examples I gave, other got worse, to what extent we don't know as the research standards, set up by sound therapists, are utter shit. The reason we don't know more is because few people experiment and report, in part because no one wants to be a guinea pig but mostly because most patients get rerouted to the self-perpetuating world of sound therapy and habituation rhetoric where results and causes and definitions are laundered by definition.

 

What about the other treatments like brain stimulation or other alternatives; do audiologist set up the standards?

 

Well, I am engaging in absolutely no such activities, but I'll let my mom know about responsibility.

 

From my limited understanding, tinnitus is proposed to be the result of the (mal)adaptive neuroplasticity (the brain trying to fix itself) that occurs following destruction of inner ear hair cells and the consequent loss of stimulation to the auditory neurons involved.

If we fix the ears, the brain issues may resolve. If the Frequency Therapeutics clinical trials (due to start in a year) are successful in regenerating hair cells then the electrical input to the auditory neurons may be restored, thus curing tinnitus.

Here is a paper that I found that supports this idea:

-
Incapacitating Unilateral Tinnitus in Single-Sided Deafness Treated by Cochlear Implantation

Objectives: Tinnitus is a well-known, difficult-to-treat symptom of hearing loss. Users of cochlear implants (CIs) have
reported a reduction in tinnitus following implantation for bilateral severe-to-profound deafness. This study assessed the effect of electrical stimulation via a CI on tinnitus in subjects with unilateral deafness and ipsilateral tinnitus who under-
went implantation in an attempt to treat tinnitus with the CI.

Methods: Twenty-one subjects who complained of severe intractable tinnitus that was unresponsive to treatment received a CI. Tinnitus loudness was measured with a Visual Analog Scale; loudness percepts were recorded with the device activated and deactivated. Tinnitus distress was measured with the Tinnitus Questionnaire before and after implantation.

Results: Electrical stimulation via a CI resulted in a significant reduction in tinnitus loudness (mean ± SD; 1 year after
implantation, 2.4 ± 1.8; 2 years after implantation, 2.5 ± 1.9; before implantation, 8.5 ± 1.3). With the device deactivated,tinnitus loudness was still reduced to between 6.1 and 7.0 over 24 months. The Tinnitus Questionnaire revealed a signifi-
cant positive effect of CI stimulation.
Conclusions: Unilateral tinnitus resulting from single-sided deafness can be treated with electrical stimulation via a CI.
The outcomes of this pilot study demonstrate a new method for treatment of tinnitus in select subjects, perhaps an important new indication for cochlear implantation.
-

 

Awesome post

I believe that repairing the synaptopathy/haircell damage or whatever biological pathology which precedes tinnitus may likely result in a "cure" for tinnitus. At the very least, I believe it would cure my hearing distortion (or whatever term is used to describe it), which is absolutely untouchable by any medication, and does not fluctuate, and is most invasive to me. It also would likely cure the "heavy/full sensation" and the dull pain of hyperacusis, as both of these feel like very physical injuries.

As for the constant tones, well, even if repairing the inner ear did not stop those because they were now "stored in the brain" like many people say (not something I really feel is the case always, since my tinnitus is so asymmetrical, and different sensation between both ears), those are much easier to live with than the other hearing issues anyways (even though elements of my constant tones are unmaskable). And I believe that if such a form of tinnitus (brain based) is the case, it is likely treatable with some of the DCNS or even new medications, or some of the studies like this. I think in any case, curing the biological inner ear pathology that causes tinnitus is of the utmost importance, at the very least if it can be done quickly it could stop people who experience acoustic trauma from developing lifelong tinnitus as a result.

I do fear that a cure will be available that will prevent a lot of people from getting tinnitus, but those of us who have had it long term may not be cured by the same process (IE: as far as I know a lot of the AM-101 stuff was mainly for the acute stage). But hopefully both long term sufferers can be cured, and the prevention of any more suffering as well.

People get too focused on this "it's in the brain" thing. Like if your eyes were shot with a strong laser, and you had visible burns on your eyes, and were blinded, would everybody be like "no no it's your brain just maladapting to the eye damage, we need to fix the brain, fixing the eyes won't solve it"... maybe but let's fix the eyes and see what happens...

 

What Japongus is talking about involves a wider spread of symptoms than just the tinnitus sound alone, some of which can originate elsewhere in the auditory system.