Tinnitus Is a First World Problem

Just to be 100% clear before I vanish back into the woods: I'm not saying that negative thinking is "the problem" and that fixing it will "solve your problems". I am saying "you have tinnitus that sucks, also your thought patterns are trivially ego-driven Western dualist nonsense that's feeding into your stress and anxiety and creating a feedback loop".

So, like, your tinnitus sucks and your thinking skills also suck, but only one of those two things is something you have obvious agency in, therefore, should be the obvious starting point for making your life less shitty, barring some medical breakthrough that cures your T. But, you have to somehow find the perspective to have that first a-ha moment that gives you some sense of, yes, agency again. I can't do that for you, but I can continue to point out that I've never seen anyone improve by putting all of their effort into being nasty to people naively trying to be helpful.

 

Yeah I wish I could have some very low volume Johnny Cash in my ears without it sounding off key and distorted, making my ears hurt and increasing my every second changing tinnitus and distortions for a day. That would change everything

 

Are we forgetting that first world problems according to the OP video are "I have too much chips for my dip" and "I don't know what I want for my birthday?"

The way I see it is that tinnitus is only comparable to someone suffering from thirst is if that someone has thirst 24/7 and has no way of quenching that thirst even if they drink water. It's not on the same level as "I have too much chips for my dip."

What does dualism have to do with any of this??? If someone can't get over tinnitus then they can't get over it. It's as simple as that. People have different brains with different levels of dopamine and serotonin so not everyone is going to react to T the same way. Tinnitus causes a physical hyperactivity in the brain much like a heroin addiction causes hyperactivity in other parts of the brain. A person may be physically unable to stop thinking about it because of how their brain is wired and how strong the hyperactivity is. I think we should avoid making assumptions like "the only reason people suffer from T is because they choose to suffer from it."

 

Yeah constant T tomes, and H arent the worst. IT's the things in your life they take away. especially the reactive sounds, completely ruin music, while not being able to block it out. When I go in a store, that plays music quietly on the ceiling, the speakers are so crappy that all I hear is resonances practically.

 

Do not misunderstand what I am saying. My hearing is distorted, I can hear T clearly through any reasonable volume of music, and I spent 3-4 years utterly unable to use headphones at all (and now use them only once or twice a month, if that). Music is not the same as it used to be and it never will be. Period. I fought that idea for years, and as a result, I spent years not enjoying music at all.

So, again, if all you want to do is find the things in my post that make you different than me, and then use that as a reason to reject everything I'm saying, that's fine with me because you're the one suffering as a result (and by responding in this way you've exactly proven my point, so, thanks )

 

I think your second sentence is really true

 

Look at all da cute little snowflake posters. Their problems are soooo bad! No one understands what they're going through.

Except for people who have been through all the same shit, found something resembling "a real life" on the other side of it, and then get told they have "mild T" whenever they try to say anything helpful. Lol. As if you have any fucking idea what I have been through with my ears, with years of ENTs, travel to faraway places for specialists and experimental studies, CBT, suicide support hotlines, whatever.

 

@linearb i agree with what you said. What you quoted was what i was saying about the OP's post.

 

It's the first time I try to argue with someone on the Internet, it confirms my thought that it's useless and would never end lol

 

The problem is that the OP tells this in a quite aggressive way and without consideration for the sufferer. In fact if you look at most of the success stories with involvs habituation youll find that the message of most of them is the same as the OP or as yours and no one is insulting them. It's just said in a bad way in my opinion. Same thing for your post, it had the same message but when you read it you can feel arrogance, at least for me.

I don't know you but I don't really think the message of the OP would make you feel better when you were calling the suicide hotline. I hope they didn't say you this kind of thing when you called them. For me it just makes me feel guilty of not making it through the suffering and the ear problems.

 

posts like the OP made me feel at best slightly hopeful and at worst condescended to when I was at my absolute worst. But, hope of any kind is pretty important to me, and a lot of qualified mental health people also seemed pretty condescending. The best were the handful of them who also had bad T, but they are few and far between.

I also owe you an apology because I dumped a bunch of dripping vitriol on you, when your posts here aren't the problem. Totally fine to think OP is clueless, very different to actively wish harm on them for their cluelessness.

 

goddamn you are smarter than I am then, I'm like 20 years in and clearly I still haven't figured out why it's a bad idea

 

I think your Heart's Done Time, Linearb and while I'm Down, we all need a Permanent Vacation, what do you reckon Angel (or Dude what maybe looks like a lady)? The Hangman Jury is getting closer.

 

First of all I wanted to apologize to those who felt bad because of my post.

I am sorry, that is not what I meant writing those words.

I am not a Troll, I am just an old member of TT who has recently dropped by this website to share his "ignorant views", as many called them, with this community.

Even though I do not log into this forum any longer, it was thanks to TT that I got my life back and do not want to hurt people in this community. I feel very sad about my thread and particularly seeing how some people reacted sending me to hell and wishing me to have a bad T and H for 1 month....

I am not a newbie in TT. Those who have insulted me, please read all the threads I wrote in 2013 and 2014 and learn a bit more about my suffering and struggling with T... and also about my recovery.

For those who do not know anything about me, I would like to share my story with you and some conclusions at the very end of my post.

1. T and falling into depression

I got T around October 2013.

Back then, I had just arrived to Japan to live. My girlfriend at the time was living there so I convinced my bosses to move me to Tokyo, after several months pitching them the idea.

A week after I landed in Japan, I got T.... and a month later my girlfriend dumped me.

I did not care very much about breaking up with her. Even though she was the main reason why I had gone to Japan, a country that always had fascinated me, after having T I just cared about the ringing in my right ear.

Day and Night. In the morning and in the evening. In the street and in my office.

"You have T", the Dr. said. Go live with it....

I was sad, alone in a different country and my A personality just pushed me to desperately find a cure for this "disease" that they had told me that there was no cure for.

Suddenly I found TT and this website was godsend. I could chat with people who had they same problem as I did have and who understood me.

But having no friends, having no hobbies, and just spending all my day thinking on T made things worst.

"there is no cure for it" those words got stuck in my brain and I could not accept that. I thought I was the most unfortunate person on Earth and in a matter of weeks I fell into depression.

My mind could not figure out a escenario of myself being happy with T.

"T won´t let me to be happy---> I won´t be able to have friends because people do not want to be with unhappy fellows---> It will be the end of my social life -----> I won´t be able to find a girl who loves me because I am not happy ------> I will be alone for the rest of my life -----> To be happy I have to find a cure for T....but there is no cure.....and turn the wheel again.

And then the same thoughts with music because I play guitar. "I won´t be able to play guitar again ----> I wont be able to go to gigs..... I won´t be able to listen to the music---> I will be sad the rest of my life"

And same with evth.... job, family, friends... T was going to make me a sad person forever who would not ever smile again.

I wanted to die.

The idea of c suicide started to cross my mind. I never actually took those thoughts seriously, but everyday I took the metro and Japan has a very high suicide rate... so I started to look at the tracks with a different view, as a way to free myself from this endless suffering and sadness that T was bringing into my life.

I started to read positive threads on people who had overcome this situation.

I learned as much as I could about TRT and CBT therapies.

And most importantly, I realized that I needed a specialist to help me.

Thus, I realized I needed to move out from Japan and go back to Europe to be close to my family and friends.

But that was not easy. I had been begging to be moved to Japan for months, and after just 4 months I wanted to be moved back to Spain..... I felt that was a profesional defeat for myself.

Fortunately for me, a workmate in Lisbon had just quit, so I could take over his position and start a new live in Portugal.

It was not an easy decision, again. Having a job in Japan was a life opportunity for me. I had been dreaming of going to Japan for months, and just a few months after my arrival, T was tearing up that dream of mine.

But whereas Japan is a difficult country to live in, I knew that Portugal was not. And I could be closer to my family to have support.

Additionally, I found the best specialist in TRT in Spain and a great CBT professional who helped me greatly to overcome depression, and my boss in Portugal allowed me to fly once a month to receive my treatment in Madrid.

I felt miserable and misunderstood by everyone. Again, the most unfortunate person on Earth.


2. Getting my life back

Christmas of 2013 was the worst of my life.

You are supposed to be happy in Christmas, right? Well, I was not. I was sad, and wanted to stay all day in my room.

I went for my first TRT session and thought that was useless. "I already know what the Dr. told me", I tought to myself.

But things were better with my CBT therapist. Instead of giving me advices, as everyone did, she listened to me for over an hour. I vented out my feelings and when I had finished, she began to talk.

"You have an A personality. You want evth to be perfect and have control evth in your life"

"The more you want to control your T, the more your T controls you", Bang, that comment made an impression on me.

She was right. You cannot control everything in life, and there is no point trying to control T.

I had spent hours measuring how high my T was "Has it gotten better? Is it louder?". I was pluggin my ears every hour to see what my T was like.

T WAS CONTROLLING ME

I had spent all my leisure time in TT reading and talking about T in order to find support or a cure.

T WAS CONTROLLING ME.

All I did was telling everyone that I got T and that my life was very unfortunate because of that,

T WAS CONTROLLING ME

And also I just wasted hours of hours of my life thinking about how unfortunate my life was going to be because of T: I was going to be alone, without friends, and soon jobless because I was not performing well in my job.

T WAS CONTROLLING ME

In order to free myself of this T Tyranny, I had to stop trying to control it, as simple as that.

I accepted that there was no cure for it and will never go away.

So I just let the T Tyranny go and began to feel better.

I stopped reading about T and doing the things I used to before getting this condition.

I understood that nothing bad was happening to me and that I was not going to die because of T.

Actually nobody dies from T. Some T sufferers commit suicide, but because of depression and not from Tinnitus.

Suicides among tinnitus sufferers are rare, says a study in PubMed.

I realized that having T did not mean the end of my life and that I was not condemned to commit suicide.

So little by little, day by day, I started to feel better. It was not something that happened from one day to another, but after some weeks of TRT and CBT I began to get my life back.

Besides my time in Portugal was great. I made some amazing friends, met great people, and my social life improved significantly.

I had so many plans with friends that, after some weeks and months I had forgotten about how upset was about T.

I began to play guitar again, and also started to perform well at my job.

CBT therapy was helping also a great deal in my recovery. The Dr. had put me in January on antidepressants,but I began to reduce my dosis around June-July.

It is hard to explain why I got well in a thread, but I would point out these things:

1- Realizing that T was not as bad as I thought. There are worst things in life and T does not kill.
2- Minimizing the importance of T. "Do my pants bother me? Why T does annoy me then? It is just a sound."
3- Stop thinking about T and began to do other things. Made friends and had hobbies.
4- Accepting that Shit Happens in Life. You are vulnerable and bad things will happen.
5- Realizing that all those bad things about my future, were not taking place.


3. Nearly 4 years after being depressed and having T.

My contract in Portugal finished in July, so I had to find another job.

I joined a new company and was sent to Zambia between August and October 2014. Later they sent me to Mexico from Oct to Jun 2015 and to Colombia between Jun 2015 and July 2016.

I have traveled, matured, made friends, made business, signed business contracts, published papers in magazines.... even though I had T.

I was a very well-recognized worker in my company and fell in love with an amazing woman.

In July 2016 I decided to quit my job and started my own business in Mexico, doing really well at the moment.

And have done all of these despite having T.

T has not had any significant impact in my quality of life in the last 3.5 years.

Even though I thought my life was going to be horrible because of T, it has not been like that.

Once it felt as the end of the world. Now, looking backwards it was a great lesson.


4. Conclusions after 4 years with T


1. Tinnitus has not ruined my life.

As I said, I though my life was going to be terrible with T. It has not been like that.

2. Tinnitus is not a major world problem

Wars, poverty, and inequality are. Not tinnitus.

Climate change, droughts, diseases -T is not a disease but a symptom-, violence are. Not tinnitus.

I have lived in underdeveloped countries over the last three years.

These people really have problems such as poverty, bad access to health care, child labor, domestic violence, having no access to energy, not having water to wash your bump.... these are day to day problems that millions of people live. And as a former T sufferer I think they are worst than T.

3. Tinnitus does not kill.

"Nowhere in the existing literature is there any evidence supporting a cause and effect relationship between tinnitus and suicide" PubMed

"Suicides among tinnitus sufferers are rare". PubMed

4. The offline ringing heads.

After having T, I have met many people along these years who have T, and they just live happy lives.

T has not either had an impact in their lives. They have told me that were upset when their ears began to buzz, but they just carried on.

These T success stories are everywhere. Why are not them online? Because these people are just so busy enjoying their lives that do not have time to come to a forum to say how unfortunate they are.

5. The earlier you stop coming to online forums, the sooner you will recover.

That happened to me.

As I said, did you come to TT before having T? I did not, so leaving this forum was essential to return to do the same things I used to in my previous life.

For newringers, it is good to drop by here for a time period. But then it is good to say farewell and move on.

6. T has been a great lesson.

a) T has made me a more sympathetic person, although some people in this thread think that I am monster.

When somebody has a problem that I can help with, I try to be on their shoes and advice them on how I would proceed. I used to be more selfish.

b) T has made me realize that I am vulnerable. As I said in the OP, I learned that bad things will happen in my life and I just have to carry on, and accept that fact.

There is just one life and am not going to waste it because of a stupid harmless sound.

c) T has made me a better listener to people´s problems. As I mentioned, I used to be very selfish. Now I listen more to others and try to forge stronger relationships with my friends listening to their problems.

When I got T I wanted to tell everyone about my problem, but nobody wanted to listen.

I hated that feeling, so I realized that from now on I was going to pay more attention to others.

d) I cannot control evth. As many people who have suffered from T, I am an A personality.

T has made me realize that I will not be able to control everything in life.

I do not mean to offend anybody with my words, and I hope this will be of use for some.

Respect has always been a key characteristic in this forum, and I hope that we all respect each other and discuss this topic as adult people. Me first.

My final word. Having Tinnitus and suffering from Tinnitus are two different things.

I have T but I no longer suffer from T.

I hope that this story will help you, that person who is having a bad time with T, find this story from a Headringer who no loner suffers from this eternal PIIIIIIIIIIII that will be the soundtrack of my life until I die.

 

A long story yet not a word on how loud his tinnitus is!

And despite calling himself sympathetic and respectful he is to the very end ignoring the fact that not everyone is lucky to have a "Mickey Mouse" tinnitus and that tinnitus drives people into deep depression then suicide!

Only an ignorant person can't see if it was chicken or the egg that came first in this situation.

 

@epin3m
You do mention it in your post.
Tinnitus also made me much more empathetic for other peoples suffering.
So I am genuine happy for you.
Unfortunately I am not "ready" yet.
Something in my subconscious has to decide this. I tried consciously to force it (CBT) and was not yet successful.
Time heals as they say. I will just have to wait. We are all different.

 

What do you want him to say? Sorry you have a louder tinnitus?

Alot of your posts are unnecessarily aggressive, have a nice day.

 

I'm not @valeri but I don't think she wants him to say that. But I also don't think she wants him to say this, either:

"Some T sufferers commit suicide, but because of depression and not from Tinnitus. "

It's like saying no one really dies from AIDS, you die from complications like pneumonia.

 

@epin3m
Whilst it's good that your tinnitus has reduced in severity and you have habituated. Next time you choose to comment in this forum about tinnitus. Try to remember the difficult times that you once had and consider others that might not be in such a good place as you are, before clicking on Post.
Michael

 

A dumb person, in my opinion, is someone who repeats a pattern with undesirable outcome.

Your tinnitus and hyperacusis, in my opinion, are real. But "loud", "severe" and "ruining my life", in my opinion, are just arbitrary concepts. Arbitrary beliefs. Arbitrary ideas.

 

As far as I'm aware he can barely have conversation with people, so yeah that's called severe and life running in my opinion, unless you don't like talking to other people and like to stay in silence in that case it won't really bother you.

 

That's about it @VRZ78 .

But my basic needs are covered so it's fine ! I'm feeling better already.

I think you make a confusion between the words "arbitrary" and "subjective" Leonardo.

 

When I was young, thinking about all the starving children in India didn't make eating my greens any more palatable (now THAT'S a first-world problem). Hierarchies of suffering are not constructive or helpful in health care however well meant, as the outcome can only ever be to minimize the experience of those who are struggling within their own reality. Plenty of people here have been knocked sideways and set back by Doctors and Specialists doing this exact thing to them.

 

I shudder to think what she wants to say to him. These kind of topics never end well for the OP.

 

Hey Bill, where are you getting this done? I suffering heavy damage through barotrauma, I wonder about this surgery often. My H is bad, there has to be something structurely wrong, I have most the symptoms of perlymph fistula but the ENTs seem pretty clueless. Pain, pressure, dizziness, H the way you describe, balance issues etc. The last Ent that I saw regarding this issue said I wouldn't be able to stand or walk if I had this, not so sure about that. Don't really know what to think, my head screams with Ts but also gets this full feeling when I bend over, ears feel like they are going to explode plus insane H, not sure if this could be a normal symptom of hearing loss and severe T or not, or if I should explore the option that maybe the membrane is still damaged through the force of barotrauma and is leaking fluid.

Sorry written quickly and on mobile.

 

Oh! Now you're having round window reinforcement!

Weren't you supposed to have stem cells?!?!? Cancelled that, AGAIN? Did you even book it!

 

Wow every time you make a big speech about how happy you are with your life and how you are leaving tinnitus talk (2 times I've seen now since I joined), and everyone wishes you well, only for you to come back a week later to harass people who aren't able to cope with their problems as well as you are. There is some deeper psychological issue here. You're constantly going "YOU GUYS ARE NEGATIVE I'M OUT OF HERE I KNOW HOW TO BE HAPPY" yet weeks later you come back to say "YOU GUYS ARE WHINERS NOBODY UNDERSTANDS YOUR PROBLEMS DONT TELL ME YOU HAVE IT WORSE THAN ME I HAD IT BAD BUT NOW IM HAPPY SO YOU NEED TO STOP WHINING." We get it' you're successful and you love to show off your swaaag.

You've been on the net long enough, don't you know how cliche it is for a member to constantly do these "I'm leavin da forum guyz, greener pasturez" posts?

Leave VRZ alone for petes sake.

 

ooooh the mystic linearb is gonna make one last post before he "vanishes back into the woods" wow so illusive, wait look theres a bunch more posts right below it, go figure.

 

Paul I really don't want any to say nohing more than for people to be open minded and respectful for those less lucky than them.

There are many on this board whose lives are literally ruined due to severe tinnitus and also those who are no longer with us.

Comparing tinnitus to "Oh no I now need to buy a new phone" or "I don't know what to get for my birthdays" is pure ignorant and rude.

This is as if I said that just because I survived 4 years of civil war everyone else should have too!
I've been through some serious stuff in my life so getting a transfer to Japan and loosing a girlfriend is a real FWP to me

Personal experiences should never be applied as a general rule.

Spot on Alex!

 

Man fuck this shit I'm done. T made us monsters