Two Tinnitus Worsenings within Four Days — Massive Setback in Overcoming Major Depression

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by GrodanB, Jun 10, 2021.

    1. GrodanB
      Depressed

      GrodanB Member

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      Childhood
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noisy life growing up. Snowmobiles, fireworks, Go-karts.
      Hello, my tinnitus had been doing just fine for many months now and I was just starting to get used to it, but since this Monday my tinnitus has worsened two times, one new noise and a noise that just got louder.

      I have both noise-induced tinnitus which is my high pitched noise and a lower pitched noise which came out of nowhere. The new sound is reactive to sound and flares up whenever there is a sound and it appeared a couple of hours ago. The other sound that got worse this Monday is a very very low pitched sound that I really hate.

      I am starting to panic. I don't know how this is happening and why. I eat healthy, sleep a lot, not exposed to much stress, protect my ears from loud noises. The only thing I think could have made it worse is either sounds that mask it (my table fan and the rain on my roof), my chronic bruxism (I got a nightguard for my bruxism) or my neck. The only noise I have exposed myself to the past week is the rain, my table fan, shower, and my vacuum cleaner (I wear noise-cancelling headphones while using the vacuum cleaner by the way).

      From many months of peace to this very unfortunate week. It might just be a spike but judging from previous "spikes," none of them really went away. The noises just kind of stay while I try my best to find a cause. I have never had this happen before, it's usually just a worsening every three months but 2 worsenings in 4 days is just too much.

      I have been trying my best to get rid of my chronic depression for a while now but this is just a massive setback in that process.

      I would appreciate any support you can offer. Please.
       
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    2. cruise
      Relaxed

      cruise Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      March 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      I hope your new sounds fade soon. I do not have experience with new sounds but I am sure the members on this forum will be able to give some advice.
       
    3. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      not sure
      Welcome to the forum. It may be a spike that can happen at times. Don't panic and stress out as that can activate your limbic nerves to cause you to function in fight or flight mode resulting in more intensity of the ringing as the brain zooms in on the 'threat'. Give it some time and try take some calming natural supplements to stay calm.

      If the ringing bothers you, try to mask it. Best wishes. God bless.
       
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    4. kingsfan
      Haunting

      kingsfan Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Coolifornia
      Tinnitus Since:
      9-17-20 / 10-20-20 / 3-31-21 / 5-23-21
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      turning everything up to 11
      Have you been taking any medication for depression?
       
    5. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      GrodanB
      Depressed

      GrodanB Member

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      Childhood
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noisy life growing up. Snowmobiles, fireworks, Go-karts.
      Currently typing this at 4 am after 5 weeks of just pure denial. I just cannot believe how absolutely horrible my life has become. I can't cry anymore, this would have ruined me a year ago, but now I just don't feel anything. I had just gotten my life back on track when my tinnitus suddenly decided that my life had become a little too good so it decided to ramp up all noises and create a orchestra of nightmares.

      New sounds have appeared, already existing sounds have worsened, sounds that have been stable for many years suddenly decided to move to the other ear and make it louder. I have tinnitus not just in ear anymore but also inside my head, unmaskable reactive noises have appeared. I just want to cry, i want to be put in a coma and never woken up again. I can't mask the noises because that creates new tinnitus sounds and makes already existing noises permanently worse.

      I'm afraid to have a damn table fan on in my room now, because I know that it will worsen my tinnitus. I just sit in my quiet, dark, sad room and hope that I will die in my sleep.

      Nothing I do helps anymore. Things I used to use as coping with my sad life just does not work anymore. For the first time in my life I'm just considering giving up and do nothing. It will get worse anyways so why the f**k should i try to improve my life. Everytime I improve my life it gets worse. EVERY SINGLE TIME!

      I'm 18 years old btw. This is what my life has become. I've been living with tinnitus since birth and now I'm just done with it. I'm thankful for my parents' support through all this but nothing really matters at all.

      Tried everything. Antidepressants, therapy, healthy sugar and salt free diets, vitamin supplements, good sleep schedule, exercising, going to the gym. Yet it just keeps getting worse! I'm just so done with this horrible life! I can just laugh at myself, I look in the mirror and see nothing but a f***ing failure of a person. My life has been nothing but a series of unfortunate events. Trying to explain my horrible life to the psychiatrist takes 2 hours minimum.

      Wish I could have a normal life, like the other people my age who don't have to be me. But that will never happen and I understand that.

      I haven't left my house and done anything with my life since I was 16. That's when it started going downhill, I didn't even celebrate my birthdays.

      For the first time in my life I can confidently say that I have nothing to live for and all i want to do is just to die in my sleep.

      Oh I have tried, I have gotten my life back on stable ground more times than I can count but that's when the tinnitus just gets worse. I just don't care anymore, don't care if I'm a loser who can't go to school, a loser who can't take care of his health, a loser who doesn't go outside, a loser who can't get a job. I just can't care anymore. I have gone completely numb. Tinnitus has destroyed my life.

      I feel nostalgic for things that happened a month ago because my tinnitus hadn't worsened then. It is just a big endless cycle. I manage to live with the noise and have fun and it gets worse, I manage to get used to the worsening and do things that I enjoy, aaaaand it gets worse once again. I feel nostalgic for those few weeks of a false sense of comfort.

      I actually feel like I might be going insane. I can't hear anything but my tinnitus, and I can't mask it. I don't remember who I was a year ago. My personality has become so twisted to the point where I don't remember who I was a year ago.

      I don't have temporary spikes. Every time I get a "spike" it stays like that and doesn't change or go away.

      Whenever my tinnitus has slightly changed at this point I just start laughing. Im' considering putting myself in a mental institution. My parents shouldn't have to live with me. All I come with is more depressing news of how my tinnitus keeps worsening.

      I miss going on calm fishing trips with my dad, sitting outside in the quiet night not hearing my tinnitus 24/7, being able to sleep because I felt like sleeping, enjoying anything in life in general.

      I just felt like I needed to put this out somewhere. I can't talk to my psychiatrist because they are on semester and I'm just stuck with myself and my parents. Enjoy life while you still can, because I sure can't anymore.
       
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    6. Stacken77
      Wishful

      Stacken77 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise (likely headphones & cars), Acoustic trauma did me in
      Fellow Swede,

      Your story breaks my heart, and do know that I understand your suffering as I'm finding myself in a bit of a similar situation, fending to get my life back on track. I urge you to keep moving forward as things could turn around. You certainly are in the darkest hour, but please, hang in there.

      I've read your previous post, and I have a hard time believing that your previously stable tinnitus from many years got worse, reactive and even permanently spiking because of masking noise or bruxism. Most of what I've read includes a second acoustic trauma, but I digress.

      I'll let you know about my story in short; I developed tinnitus from an acoustic trauma in October 2020, it was very stable and only spiked to road noise which could be mitigated by hearing protection. I also got hyperacusis, i.e. some noises felt "too loud", like dishes clanking and so on. After a month or two the hyperacusis pretty much resolved. In February, something happened; I started taking an anti-anxiety medication (Atarax) for more consecutive days than before, and I started to sound deprive myself in the hopes of a spike receding. In just a week, my tinnitus became hyper-reactive, i.e. it fluctuated to all noise, big and small, but the fluctuations was always temporary, my hyperacusis also came back. The following months, I continued to sound deprive myself, wearing single or double protection literally 24 hours a day. In March I heard a loud noise(still had hearing protection) and from then on, everything as gone downhill and the fluctuations now had a tendency to be permanent. I'm still here, kicking around, but it's hard, as most everyday noise causes temporary and permanent increases.

      After all that, I firmly believe the overuse of hearing protection made my ears more vulnerable as my hyperacusis increased and made me more susceptible to "shocks". Contrary to what many believes on this forum, in my experience, it does not take "weeks" or "months" of sound deprivation to cause lasting impressions to the auditory system; for some of us, this can happen in a matter of days.

      Now, to my point; please, do not take the following reflections as definitive advice, just take it into consideration;

      Do you have hyperacusis? Do you wear hearing protection all day?

      One observation that I've made is that hyperacusis is definitely, at least for me, the culprit behind spikes to low level sounds, both temporary and permanent. I believe the writings of @Michael Leigh is correct here. If I could resolve my hyperacusis, I would probably be able to live my life more freely again. As I've sat in hearing protection now for 5 months and never seen improvements in my hyperacusis, I'm beginning to suspect that the hearing protection is why I don't improve, and I have to wean myself off the hearing protection gradually. Now, of course, this creates a Catch 22; if we lower the hearing protection, our tinnitus may worsen, but I don't see any other way at solving this, so in the coming months I am going to try to enrich myself with sound and hopefully my state will improve. Wish me luck in that regard.

      I fully acknowledge that not all advice is applicable to everyone as every case is different, and you may need to completely rest your ears in order to recover.

      I wish you the speediest of recoveries,
      Stacken
       
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    7. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      GrodanB
      Depressed

      GrodanB Member

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      Childhood
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noisy life growing up. Snowmobiles, fireworks, Go-karts.
      Thank you @Stacken77, and yes I do have hyperacusis. I got it after using headphones without realizing the harmful effects it could have. My hyperacusis when I first got it felt pretty chronic but after about a year it started to turn for the better. Now it just comes and goes randomly and if I got some luck left maybe it can just vanish forever.

      Thankfully the hyperacusis is not the main reason of my depression, the hyperacusis is just there as a reminder not to use headphones ever again.

      And no, I don't wear hearing protection very often, I only do it when there are lightning strikes near my house or when I'm in a car.

      Otherwise I keep my ears pretty open to sounds, but only because I live in a fairly quiet household.

      I'm sorry to hear about your struggle with hyperacusis Stacken, it sounds terrible to live with hyperacusis of that severity. I will take your advice and not overprotect my ears. And I hope someday your hyperacusis could turn for the better. Even how unlikely that sounds.
       
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    8. Stacken77
      Wishful

      Stacken77 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise (likely headphones & cars), Acoustic trauma did me in
      That's good to hear. I'd still recommend to implement hearing protection regularly when out and about, but we shouldn't need it at our home, maybe with the exception of doing the dishes(e.g. if we drop a plate).
      Thanks man. I'm in the darkest hour, but I have a slightly optimistic feeling that I may recover in time. My ears have gotten plenty of rest now, and if the hyperacusis is due to overuse of hearing protection, it should be reversible, but I have a long road ahead of me, that's for sure.

      Keep your head up high, and we'll get through this, together.

      All the best,
      Stacken
       
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    9. Wrfortiscue
      Cowabunga

      Wrfortiscue Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      I think some of us worsen for no reason. It’s terrible.
       
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    10. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      GrodanB
      Depressed

      GrodanB Member

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      Childhood
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noisy life growing up. Snowmobiles, fireworks, Go-karts.
      Another Morse code type sounding noise started in left ear and the reactive tinnitus noise is basically unmaskable now, the shower doesn't ever mask it anymore. Going to an ENT to see if I got some sinus issues or problems with the Eustachian Tubes.

      Otherwise I'm just going to resort to antidepressants and try not to lose my mind completely.
       
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    11. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      GrodanB
      Depressed

      GrodanB Member

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      Childhood
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noisy life growing up. Snowmobiles, fireworks, Go-karts.
      Update: Nothing positive has happened since. It took me 2 trips to my local hospital to actually get diagnosed with something. The first time they just looked in my ear real quick and said it looked normal and sent me home.

      Of course being in the desperate spot that I was in I wanted to get looked at again. But this time they actually noticed that there was liquid behind my eardrum.
      Sooo I wanted to get a time at the ENT.

      This is where it gets real fun.

      The doctor ordered a time the day I was diagnosed with a middle ear infection and this was on the 22'nd of July.

      I had to wait 41 Days... 41 god damn days to get help at the ENT. Man was it fun, sitting in my room just waiting for that day to come. I was actually feeling hopeful! This could actually be a temporary spike I thought. But when the time came... 41 days later, the ENT specialist said "There is nothing wrong with your ears".

      That was the last goddamn thing I wanted to hear. At that point I realized that this was another permanent spike, I just said "Thanks" and left. I had never been so angry in my whole life.

      And when I got home my f****ng throat started to hurt. I got the damn flu now LOVELY, IT'S JUST SO PERFECT. NOW MY EUSTACHIAN TUBES ARE NOT WORKING AT ALL ANYMORE. MY HEARING IS GONE THE DAY I WENT HOME FROM THE ENT.
      My life is an actual joke, how does this sh*t even happen. I can't believe it (and if you were wondering, it was not COVID-19, I got tested).

      I can't just get back out of bed again with the mentality "Oh let's just try again and things will work out!" I have done that, many times, to no success. The same thing happening every time. I get happy with my life, boom tinnitus gets worse and i get even more depressed. That has happened 4 times. Zero temporary spikes, only permanent spikes that appeared from nowhere for no reason at all.

      Please just name some SSRI meds that affect the ears and tinnitus the least. I just need something else to help me stay alive at this point.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    12. Bob1234

      Bob1234 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Headphones
      I know it's hard right now but you are very very young, you''ll figure out what the cause is or your brain will adjust and you'll learn to cope and move on eventually. And you're young enough that some cure or medical way to improve the condition is very likely to arrive and make a difference.
       
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    13. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      The more you use hearing protectionz the more you risk lowering the loudness threshold of your auditory system, which will make it more sensitive to sound and the hyperacusis will worsen. I understand your reasons for using hearing protection but unfortunately this can create further problems down the line. I agree with you to wean yourself off hearing protection and try not to think your tinnitus will get worse because this may not be the case. However, by thinking this way you risk convincing yourself the tinnitus will get worse. Please remember, the way we think can affect the way tinnitus behaves a lot.

      Please read my post Hyperacusis, As I See It, on my started threads.

      Michael
       
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    14. Stacken77
      Wishful

      Stacken77 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise (likely headphones & cars), Acoustic trauma did me in
      Thank you for your response Michael, and I do agree with what you've said as most correspond with my experience of things.
      In my case, any sound except my breathing and heartbeat irritates my tinnitus and causes spikes. They're usually short lived, but over time I guess they have raised my baseline volume. I'm thinking about disregarding this and try to wean myself off the hearing protection regardless, even if it may cost me worsening my tinnitus a bit, but I'm not sure. Swedish healthcare does not offer TRT, and I believe my ears won't tolerate WNGs regardless.

      All the best to you,
      Stacken
       
    15. kingsfan
      Haunting

      kingsfan Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Coolifornia
      Tinnitus Since:
      9-17-20 / 10-20-20 / 3-31-21 / 5-23-21
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      turning everything up to 11
      I don't think any particular SSRI is less prone to worsening tinnitus. They all do relatively the same thing, only through different mechanisms, they limit serotonin re-uptake.

      I'd probably ask my doctor about tricyclic or another alternative, like Mirtazapine. There's also MAOI inhibitors, which I don't know too much about other than they are really old and doctors only like to use them as a last resort. I have no idea what their risk is on tinnitus.

      Interesting enough, I've seen people here say Wellbutrin caused their tinnitus though it does not act on serotonin, rather, on dopamine and norepinephrine. I took it for a couple of years with no problems, but none of us are the same.

      There are also other alternatives such as rTMS and Ketamine infusion that you could look into. I've still read stories of people worsening their tinnitus on those as well. Remember the adage though, correlation does not equal causation.

      EDIT: I just read your original post that you use noise cancelling headphones as hearing protection.

      Consumer-based noise cancelling headphones do not provide any hearing protection other than the physical earpiece cupping around the ear. You really only find actual effective noise-cancelling in hearing protection used on flight decks and such.

      I would suggest foam earplugs or ear muffs for loud tools such as vacuum cleaners. I double-up protection for my vacuum as it's about 95dba and I'm not taking any chances with that.
       
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    16. DaveFromChicago

      DaveFromChicago Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Headcold/Flu
      After over 7.5 years of this, the way I think about tinnitus has never had any bearing whatsoever on its level of severity.

      There have been numerous occasions when I have been very stressed, and tinnitus has been nearly quiet.

      On other occasions, I have been in very good, positive frames of mind and the tinnitus has been very irritable.

      As far as I personally am concerned, there is absolutely no empirical justification for such a comment.

      Julian Cowan Hill also professes this, which all the more demonstrates it's unqualified inutility and unserviceableness (not to mention any clinically based proof of scientific legitimacy).
       
      • Agree Agree x 6
    17. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      Hi @Stacken77.

      Try to gradually reduce your dependence on hearing protection. You haven't mentioned the type you use. Try following some of the advice in my post: Hypeacusis, As I See It, and use noise reducing earplugs. Slowly work towards using them less.

      I appreciate that your auditory system is quite sensitive at the moment and perhaps overusing hearing protection has contributed to this. TRT and CBT can be helpful but they cannot do everything. People can do a lot to help themselves by incorporating positivity into their lives and participating in the things they like to do. This is not a quick fix and therefore takes time.

      Unless you have tried WNGs and given yourself time to adjust to them, try not to think your ears won't tolerate them as this is negative thinking. It is true some people are unable to use white noise generators but this is not always the case. People that have severe oversensitivity to sound, white noise generators need to be slowly introduced to the ears and auditory system. I have covered this procedure in my TRT posts, that are on my started threads.

      Although white noise generators can be used without counselling, for people with severe over sensitivity to sound or those who have hyperacusis, counselling with an audiologist or hearing therapist specialising in tinnitus and hyperacusis management is advised.

      Take care.

      Michael
       
    18. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      You are entitled to your opinion, however, I know exactly what I am talking about. I have never said the way we think affects the severity of tinnitus. Please don't misquote me. The way we think can affect tinnitus a lot, as it's an integral part of our mental and emotional wellbeing and cannot be separated from it. Please go to my started threads and read my posts: Will My Tinnitus Get Worse? The Habituation Process, How to Habituate to Tinnitus.
      The fact that you are relying on clinical proof and science to inform you about tinnitus, suggests to me you know very little about this condition. Most of the people that write these studies have never experienced tinnitus in their life. If they do have it it's likely to be very mild. Most know nothing about tinnitus and the way it affects a person's mental and emotional wellbeing, that is what I am dealing with.

      Michael
       
    19. DaveFromChicago

      DaveFromChicago Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Headcold/Flu
      What do you want me to say, Michael?

      My abovementioned comments constitute the most carefully considered, sincere responses I can make regarding my experience with this.
      First, let's review your insufferably patronizing tone. It is so frankly counterproductive that if I were running this Forum I would have you kicked off.

      You remind me very much of Julian Cowan Hill in that you are thrown into a state of snarling vituperation when there is any report that (to even the slightest degree) does not accord with your findings (and is that what you regard as professional behavior?)

      To be blunt, I am so f**king sorry that you are so pissed about how my comments do not conform to your model.

      It sounds as if you are chastising me for not getting with your program, although I have tried repeatedly (to unfortunately no avail) to affect this condition with a positive mental attitude.

      If you wanted to talk about Habituation only, you should never have said that "the way we think can affect the way tinnitus behaves a lot", since Habituation is apparently only about our reaction to it, not about changing tinnitus's "behavior".

      Second, since I should not rely on "clinical proof and science", you make no mention about what I should rely on.

      I can only imagine going to see you: "You doltish poltroon, how dare you allude to Science in my presence."

      I cannot believe that you require having this as a necessary precondition for conducting research about it.

      Did Jonas Salk have Polio?

      Did the researchers who developed Maxalt have migraines?

      Did the lab technicians who developed Accutane have acne?

      I know that your intransigent, exhaustingly stubborn attitude is really based on the fact that you sell TRT (or whatever it is).

      It must be wearying to continually bring the TRUTH to poor, witless proles such as myself. Why don't you regard us as a lost cause and leave this Forum?
       
      • Agree Agree x 2
    20. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      I have no wish to correspond with anyone that conduct themselves in the way that you do. I am referring to your use of an expletive. There really is no need for it and says a lot about the person you are and the kind of people you associate with. Thank goodness we will never meet.

      By your own admission you have had tinnitus for a just 7.5 years compared to me, with considerably more experience under my belt. Please forgive me for being facetious, as I just couldn't resist that little dig. I am not disgruntled at you, far from it, I merely wanted to enlighten you about tinnitus and the way it affects a person's mental and emotional wellbeing. If you see my advice as patronizing this certainly wasn't my intention.

      You quoted my post without having the courtesy to address me and decided to go into a rant. Then adding insult to injury, by comparing me to Julian Cowan Hill. That man knows nothing about noise induced tinnitus and I will say no more.

      Science has its place in this world. If you want to learn about tinnitus, then learn it from those that live with the condition and have experience.

      I wish you well.
      Michael
       
    21. DaveFromChicago

      DaveFromChicago Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Headcold/Flu
      To Michael Leigh:

      I mentioned that you are thrown into a snarling rage when any of your comments are even remotely questioned, and apparently you are not cognizant of the huge irony that your last commentary is one incoherent, snarling rage.

      In regard to my use of expletives, you are markedly, unintentionally amusing in that your behavior is indicative of what an ever-so-delicate Ante Bellum Southern Belle would evince ("I do declare, Dave, what kind of uncouth ruffians have you been consorting with that assails my sensibilities with such shocking language?")

      My use of such expletives was only made out of sheer exasperation with your unbearably sententious, overweening arrogance.

      And what is this clearly libelous, defamatory reference to "the person you are and the kind of people you associate with?"

      If you must know, I come from the highly educated, upper-middle classes.

      I think that such a defamatory characterization about someone you know virtually nothing about says nearly everything about your utter lack of professionalism.

      All of these factors (including your bizarrely anti-scientific attitude) are what makes you nearly identical to Julian Cowan Hill.

      "The fact that you are relying on clinical proof and science to inform you about tinnitus suggests to me that you know very little about this condition."

      Trust me, this is straight out of Hill's playbook.

      And by the way, are you aware of how frighteningly crazy this sounds to medically, science-based people?

      This anti-scientific attitude (especially about how you can research tinnitus only if you have had it) is no more than a thinly veiled alibi for the complete lack of empirical legitimacy regarding your methods.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    22. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      GrodanB
      Depressed

      GrodanB Member

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      Childhood
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noisy life growing up. Snowmobiles, fireworks, Go-karts.
      Apparently my thread where I'm asking for help has turned into a warzone, always lovely to see...

      Anyways, I'm feeling really suicidal right now, my sickness has worn off but the tinnitus is still super spiked from it.

      The noises are unrecognizable from how they were just a few months ago and it's not going to get any better.

      It's just this endless shit cycle of suffering where I get punished by the universe for trying to improve my living.

      Another year wasted where I get nothing done, trying to convince myself that this awful existence is worth living.

      My future is just non existent, I don't want to live with this. I really don't want to live with this, there is no way I'm going to make it. Barely maskable tinnitus at the age of 18 just shouldn't be a f*cking thing, no one should have to live like this. I really can't relate to anyone my age, I'm just the lonely guy who shows up to school for a week then disappears because the tinnitus is controlling my life.

      I can't tell any classmates in school what I have to deal with either, because I'm afraid someone is going to try to make it worse.

      Whatever I do it is going to get worse, no matter how hard I try to keep it from happening. It's just an inevitability, no way around it. It just kills my morale, I don't want to try. Because my progress will all be for nothing.
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
    23. Greg Sacramento

      Greg Sacramento Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame Advocate

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Syringing + Somatic tinnitus from dental work
      @GrodanB, have you tried liquid Magnesium glycinate - 3 to 6 times a day with total use of 400 mg per day?

      How liquid Magnesium glycinate might help:

      Helps maintain normal nerve function, including the nerves that are involved in hearing.

      Magnesium is also a powerful glutamate inhibitor. Glutamate is a neurotransmitter produced by hair cells in your inner ear when they are affected by sound waves. If glutamate is unregulated by a deficiency in magnesium, it may affect the development of tinnitus.

      Magnesium also helps to relax blood vessels, which may improve blood flow to the cochlea in the inner ear. Improved blood flow may help transport protective antioxidants to the inner ear.

      Magnesium should help relax neck and jaw muscles and helps strenghtens jawbone, teeth and C spine.

      Liquid Magnesium glycinate has a high absorption rate. It may help with anxiety and sleep.

      HUG.
       
      • Like Like x 2
    24. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      GrodanB
      Depressed

      GrodanB Member

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      Childhood
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noisy life growing up. Snowmobiles, fireworks, Go-karts.
      No. I have been bad at trying vitamin supplements and such. I am willing to try pretty much anything at this point. I'm definitely going to try it out. Thank you!
       
    25. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      GrodanB
      Depressed

      GrodanB Member

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      Childhood
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noisy life growing up. Snowmobiles, fireworks, Go-karts.
      Looking further into what could have caused my latest spike, I noticed that my parents had bought me an NSAID for my throat pain. I knew the dangers of Ibuprofen and all that but I had no idea that this was related.

      That was 100% what caused my spike during the time I was sick, although the dose I took was pretty low. The NSAID I took was "Benzydamine hydrochloride". Each dose was 2.68 mg Benzydamine and I took 4 in total.

      Could this have caused permanent damage or can the tinnitus go back to baseline?
       
    26. DaveFromChicago

      DaveFromChicago Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Headcold/Flu
      To Michael Leigh:

      There appears to be only one practitioner of TRT in the entire Chicago area (which is incredible given that this is the third largest city in the US) who is located in the most out-of-sight wealthy North Shore suburb.

      In fact, I am not sure how old this website is, and whether it is still even offered.

      And, if in fact they no longer offer it, then how am I supposed to find and get to someone who does?

      If this has been demonstrated to be so effective, then why are there not more practitioners in such a large metropolitan area?

      No ENT Doctor I have ever seen has recommended or alluded to this in any way.

      Are you actually serious about how this entire program could cost in excess of $6,600.00 and take in excess of two years?

      I can guarantee you that Medicare and all of the Private Health Insurance Carriers in the US would unconditionally not provide coverage for this.

      How many posters on Tinnitus Talk do you think have this kind of discretionary income, outlay of time and capacity for such patience?

      Given the cost, scarcity of practitioners, and extensive time commitment isn't it unrealistic to expect anyone to be able to avail themselves of this?
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    27. Jeremiah C

      Jeremiah C Member

      Location:
      Coral Springs, FL
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      TD Booster Shot and/or Augmentin
      I don’t want to jinx myself but my tinnitus has gotten better the last week after taking NAC (not sold on Amazon anymore, but you can find online still), and L-Theanine. It wouldn’t hurt to try. I also take Magnesium at night with them.

      During the morning I take Zinc, D3, Turmeric with piperine, and B12. I am mentioning these in case taking NAC or L-Theanine in combination with them makes a difference.

      I got tinnitus right after I got a vaccine and also took some ototoxic medication so it was probably one of those two. It’s been several months of moderate tinnitus for me that has caused me a good amount of anxiety and difficulty sleeping. It has impacted my personal and professional relationships. There were days where I had hyperacusis and ear pressure and one day my tinnitus made a new crystal-like sound as a reaction to certain external noises. Thankfully that has subsided. I am hopeful it will continue to improve.

      My ENT and primary doctor were of no help, so I’ve had to resort to my own research and experiments.
       
    28. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      GrodanB
      Depressed

      GrodanB Member

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      Childhood
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noisy life growing up. Snowmobiles, fireworks, Go-karts.
      The last few months have been the most horrible time in my life, my tinnitus was rather stable for a while before it decided to kick it up from a 4/10 to a 10/10.

      I have tried everything to figure out how to stop it or reverse the tinnitus worsenings. Every day I wake up with the fear of a new noise or an already existing one being louder.

      I seriously have no clue to what is happening, this has never happened before in my life, my short miserable tinnitus infested life.

      I have had tinnitus for as long as I can recall, and that is about the age of 7. I am not the type of person to blame others for my problems but I can only blame my parents for this, if they just made sure I was wearing ear protection when I obviously should have, my life would be fine.

      And no matter what I did back then, my tinnitus stayed the same without ever worsening until 2019 when I was 15.

      I am 18 years old now, and my life has been on a downward spiral ever since 2019. I have spent 2 years of my teenage years sitting in my room trying to grasp the idea of living out this terrible life I have ahead of me.

      My tinnitus is completely unmaskable now, I hear it no matter what I do. There are so many different noises and tones, there are probably noises I have never heard before because they are hidden behind another layer of noises. I like to call it the orchestra from hell. Most of the noises are also reactive to sound so I gave up on the idea of masking. Everytime I go to bed I have to sleep with noise cancelling headphones on because the rain landing on my roof will worsen my reactive tinnitus and hyperacusis.

      I just can't believe that this is happening. Every week a new noise has appeared. I just walk around in circles in my room trying to get my brain to properly respond to what is happening. I should be crying because my life is becoming unlivable. But I can't cry, I have completely lost the ability to experience emotions.

      I can't finish school either, I don't have the strength anymore. An insane amount of loud idiots, intense stress and anxiety every single day. I just can't take it. Tinnitus has completely f*cked my life and my perception of reality. I feel so alone as well, no one my age who lives here can relate to me. I'm just so jealous, to be able to have tinnitus free life ahead of you and get the education you want. Have a positive view on the future and not live a loud tinnitus filled life.

      I don't know where to go from here. It's pretty safe to say that I am stuck in life with nowhere to go. All of my friendships I once had are gone, loud unmaskable tinnitus and hyperacusis and being unable to finish school because of my ear problems.

      Ending my life early is an option I consider possible. But as long as my parents are still with me that is not happening.
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
    29. Simon85

      Simon85 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      Nov 2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Probably noise exposure, but unknown.
      Is it possible to work on material remotely? That might be a better way to go for now.
      I know it may feel hopeless at the moment, but you’re young and there are many years still ahead of you. In time your symptoms may diminish.

      I can obviously see you’re having a tough period. It’s likely that time is the best bet to help your ears settle. In the meantime you’ll need some strategies to make each day easier. Some bits of advice if they help at all -

      * Is there anything that helps with the depression? Anything at all which lifts your mood? Having some things to lean on, whatever they might be, will assist if you’re feeling blue.

      * What is your eating and sleep schedule like? Are you getting exercise? Self care in this area is important.

      * This can be a tough one with sound sensitivity, but how much time are you spending shut in your room? If it’s a possibility then I’d suggest making a point of going outside from time to time and getting some sun. Perhaps there is an open space like a quiet park or walking track...

      * Humans are social creatures and need interaction with others. It sounds like you’re isolated at the moment and haven’t been able to interact with your school mates. Do you have any friends you can reach out to? I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a massive introvert, but even I like hanging out with others from time to time.

      I hope you find some relief soon.
       
    30. Matchbox
      Wishful

      Matchbox Member

      Location:
      BC Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise Induced, Prednisone (drones), Barotrauma (distortions)
      Imagine what you could accomplish in SPITE of this. Use it to your advantage, if you must get on disability! Be sure people know this is a daily challenge for you. Make an audio track to play them.

      You are way too young to just give up. I myself had many times I was thinking there was no winning.

      Even with tinnitus, the chance of the new noises fading for you is high especially if things are changing wildly a lot.

      What you desperately need is a neurologist/neurotologist/psychiatrist that understands how debilitating this is and gets you on the right track to finding out what the hell is going on. You should have the kitchen sink thrown at this to find SOMETHING amiss.

      If nothing is found? Then to trial drugs that might help for the ongoing future. Trial Lasix, Trial Clonazepam, Even potentially Ketamine if your psych is on board which could treat the depression and the tinnitus.

      Do NOT give UP!

      If you can't mask because it's in the sound source or just rises above it, then mask quieter and realize you'll have to befriend this, even for a few months.

      I understand that the general populous won't get it. Our suffering versus silence or no hyperacusis is night and day.

      Keep healthy, eat healthy, keep busy, keep trying. And when you need a break, that's when you need real supportive people and other hobbies besides sound based ones. It does get easier.

      Not to say it can't change, like I said, don't give up. Don't even consider the word habituate. Just don't give up.
       
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