University and Social Life with Tinnitus

Hi Guys,

So I have had Tinnitus for 4.5 months now. I know that its not going to leave, and thats ok. I am not happy with it but it is okay ( Im havin a good day today)
My T was noise induced and I decided not ever to go to clubs or loud bars again. which I did since the onset.

But in October I will start University and I am really worried not to be able to join my fellow students in partying or loud events, or anything really. For example beer pong. its not a loud activity itself but if people make a good shot and are drunk they scream insanely loud

Its not the ringing itself that makes me sad but the thinking that I cant do certain things now. I just want to be able to live an awesome cool student life like I always imagined it to be. Dont get me wrong I know that there are many other activities but even bowling is so loud when the ball hits the ground!! If we all only had one free wish...

also I am really worried of not fitting in, so If I dont join the others I cant even try to do so. I wish I could just do those things without concerns.

what are your thoughts? anyone with similar concerns/experiences?

 

Try not to worry Zora and im sure you Will find uni a lovely place .
Get some really good ear reduction plugs and make sure you pop then in your ears when it's party time and remember you have control and can find a quiet area when needed.

Will you be living away from home ?
....lots of love glynis

 

@glynis thank you glynis
yes I got some
custom made plugs done with a really good filter. just waiting for them to arrive.

in a club there is not really anquiet place :/ but I wont go there then...

yes I will be living 2 hours away from home

 

You will have lots of fun.
My son did 2 years at uni and on a gap year as a architect and that have set him on permanently so will be doing his last year as a part time student over two years one day a week.
He still loves at home and drives to Darby
....lots of love glynis

 

Hey I don't know if you know this but your mood is set to suicidal under your icon. I wouldn't worry about not playing beer pong. At those parties some people usually get drunk and it isn't a good place to be for a woman. Maybe you can go to a nice tea party with your girlfriends or go to a nice dessert place. As for earplugs, I have never tried these but they reviewed these at MIT technology review:



https://www.technologyreview.com/s/421751/who-needs-450-electronically-enhanced-earplugs/

 

are you kidding me Jason? sorry but when a guy tells me to go and drink tea instead of playing beer pong (which I love) I get angry. I dont understand people like you.

are you somewhere from saudi arabia or do you live in the 19th century? because thats where your opinion is from.

thank you for that link, but telling me just not to do things I really like isnt helping me.

 

a good place for women....a lot of women get drunk, why? because its fun....pfff what even is a good place?! you are probably one of those guys who say that if a girl was wearing a short skirt and was drunk, its her own fault if she gets raped.

 

@Zora jeez tad bit of an over reaction don't ya think?

Anyway you can go to parties at UNI,just remember to use plugs or leave if the music is loud,good quality plugs that is not the cheap crap most pharmacies sell and as for beer pong you won't need earplugs if it's just a few of you and your friends laughing and joking around but of course if it gets noisy pop them in it's really that simple.

 

@Zora

Don't be worried about the future. Think about each day first.
You know when I was studying I didn't do a lot of "parties", I made some, but I was not a clubber. My best memories are me laughing in my place with my friends; late nights chatting; laughing, eating. Studying for my exams; helping each other with courses (when I was too lazy to wake up in the morning lol).
You can do a lot of interesting things than clubbing, or going to parties; travelling etc... and maybe find a boyfriend (I don't know if you already have one sorry).
In your shoes, I would take care of my ears and my body in general. These parties don't worth your health, you already have a lot of challenges to overcome.

Trust me, you'll be fine. You will have a lot of work to do at Uni, studying and be graduated. The best REWARD you will get.

 

have you ever tried if alcohol increased your tinnitus or not? if yes you should not play a drinking game every weekend because it can worse your tinnitus. alcohol stimulates your nervous system and your brain (and destroys it) and tinnitus is a brain/nervous thing.

 

@Sara_Bond that basically got it perfect,you can't improve on what you just said

But I fear it's not as simple as that,at UNI all of her friends are going to constantly party and go clubbing etc and of course Zora is just gonna feel left out because of her T.If there's one thing I'll add to this is that Zora go to parties with your friends on occasion that is but nothing overly loud or even loud for that matter and bring good quality plugs just in case.DO NOT go to clubs even with hearing protection as it's just a risk not worth taking.If the party gets stupid loud then leave and don't be ashamed to either.Moderation and common sense will see you through UNI but as Sara said your main priorities are your education and your health and remember to always put these first.

 

it really depends on how bad your tinnitus is. I had mild tinnitus the whole time I was in college and it did not stop me from going to bars, shows, clubs, gun ranges, parties, etc... and none of those things changed the tinnitus, I barely thought about it for 10 years.

That said, colleges are diverse and there are lots of different subcultures. If you don't want to go to loud places I don't think it's going to keep you from having fun and meeting people and doing stuff.

 

@hoper thankfully alcohol doesnt increase my T. But I think its damaging either way. I wont get drunk every weekend.
I already cannot smoke weed anymore, so I need alcohol.

yeah I guess I will have to find a compromis. one friend of mine is already in uni and she goes clubbing a lot. I asked her if that the main activity with her friends and she said yes. she said that I can still have fun doing other things but she says that I probably wont have friends who party a lot if I dont go clubbing.

Its because of the restrictions that make me sad.

@Bill yes, I am getting custom made ones for 150€ with high db filters.

 

Who cares if they don't like you?At the end of the day you and you only come first and that's the bottom line Zora.Your friend is right though,UNI isn't entirely based around clubbing,there's so much more you can do.Im glad to see you've got good ear plugs just remember that you don't have to rely on these entirely,only if it's overly loud but some music playing while chatting with friends etc isn't going to damage your hearing.For two years I went to the odd birthday party and such and if it was too loud I simply left without hesitation,just remember common sense goes a long way.All the best at UNI though Zora,I'm sure you'll do just fine

 

lol are you sure that you don't fall into a depression? alcohol is not a solution for problems... it makes it all worse. i hope you have fun at parties but you should not overdo..

 

@hoper I am already in a depression. I wont overdo it but from time to time I guess I need it. maybe I will become an alcoholic

 

it seems like, because you want to hide your sadness at a funny party when everyone arround you is happy. this is how the doom loop starts...

 

could you please stop it with that gender BS? a beer pong party isn't a good place for women but for men? women should go to tea parties? are you kidding us? what is wrong with you dude? seriously!!!

@Zora I have T since i was 19. I then had started uni 3 months before. I still had friends in uni. i still went bowling. i still went to bars. I still went to the cinema. I still went out to restaurants. I only didn't do clubs.
It will all work out for you. With ear plugs NOT everything is too loud. You probably can't live the way you lived before and you will have to think about your ears at times. That does suck but that's how it is with all chronic diseases. My cousin for example has epilepsy. she also couldn't do clubs because of the lights that could lead to an attack. That's how it is. I went to uni with a guy in a wheelchair. do you think that he can just do what everyone does without thinking about it? he can't of course!

 

ps: of course you won't have those friends who do nothing but clubbing but what would you gain out of having them as your friends? you could never do anything together...

 

@seal thank you. yes I know, thats what I thought to myself as well. I was never a big fan of clubbing anyway. and I can meet people in many other ways!! bc I lovee meeting new people

I guess I will really find my way. with restrictions. I just want to have that awesome student life with the drinking, and learning, and having fun, and discussing and hooking up and that kind of stuff you always see in movies. haha maybe I believe too much into those american college movies like "bad neighbours" where they party 24/7

I mean I wish I could just live my life like my friends. when I compare myself to them (I know that thats wrong) they have it better. no derealization, no Tinnitus, no feett pain. it makes me sad. sometimes very very sad.

 

Well at any rate, I would recommend staying away from loud environments. There are plenty of things you can do with your friends like going to a lake and paddle boating, motor boating, or jet skiing, going hiking up a mountain, skiing, hot air balloon rides as long as it doesn't affect your tinnitus, getting donuts, arts and crafts, volleyball, badminton, playing skee ball, tennis, joining the YWCA or a college age church group.

 

Is your depression the kind that fluctuates?

 

I totally understand the sadness. I used to be influenced by movies and saw things on them that I wanted to do and thought that is what things were supposed to be like but some of it just B.S. and harmful. There are lots of college movies showing different experiences. I have seen people getting drunk and becoming dehydrated, throwing up, or having a hangover the next day. No fun there. If you want to play some fun college activities, what about volleyball, ping pong, or that bean bag toss game? At any rate, I hope you feel better asap.