[Venting] I've Had It

I need to personally vent on this forum. I'm sorry ahead of time. Maybe a lot of you will be able to sympathize with my sentiments.

Over 1 month ago, I got tinnitus in my left ear caused presumably by an ear infection. I had one night with it pretty bad in November, but I went to bed and it never came back (probably because I was drinking a lot that night).

I am 22 years old and now the health problems just seem to be stacking up on me. Aren't I too young for this??

Having this tinnitus has now officially spiked my generalized anxiety disorder. This has been causing pain all over my body - arms, legs, back, everything is just so tense. Its made me think there are a billion other problems in my body. Cancer, aids, meningitis, herniated discs - you name it, I thought I had it. I just want this to end.

I picked up an ear infection in late December last year, which seems to have exacerbated an already waxy and clogged up ear. I noticed it first when I got an intermittent whoosing noise in my ear. Then it became a full on ring.

I have a follow up ENT on Thursday, but I'm not betting on anything. I have tinnitus and its not going away anytime soon. I cant sleep, I cant function, and I cant concentrate. Should it continue long term, I am considering suicide.

I don't know what I did to deserve this sort of torment. I already have a back condition, a few bad teeth (taken care of - not a cause of tinnitus), and now this. I tried to live a life as a good man. I am a practicing faithful person, I supported my family where I could. I worked hard in high school, got into a top tier research university, and managed to get a job at top 10 investment bank come June. And, I finally had met a romantic interest that seems to have long term potential.

All of this put me on the top of the world - I was going to be able to change my family tree forever. No more lower middle class, suffering financially. All of this was only to be absolutely torn down by yet another health condition. Why am I forced to endure this torment? What have I done to offend the higher powers to be saddled with this pain? I didn't do anything stupid to my ears. I never went to loud concerts without protection, I never did anything that could damage my ears - expect maybe earbuds when I was listening to music or something. But this was never at insane volumes.

I try every day to pray, to keep a positive mind and think that this will go away. But the countless stories on this forum and the internet convinced me that I am stuck with this forever. Something I did - something that happened - caused me to have tinnitus and now I will be cursed and tormented with a lack of sleep until I inevitably decide to end my life.

I am in pain, I feel helpless, I'm scared, and worst of all I feel alone. I'm isolated in this struggle.

 

You are not alone. Many on this forum have either been where you are or are currently going through it. As a veteran of tinnitus, I will tell you that you will adjust to your tinnitus in time. Continue with your prayers, continue keeping a positive mind and you will find yourself acclimating to this condition. It's not easy, it takes time & patience, but it will happen. You sound like a strong individual who has figured out (at an early age) what he wants out of life. Don't let your tinnitus distract you from that goal.

 

Tinnitus can come from out of nowhere. It's ok to feel the way you are feeling, tinnitus can be very negative and emotionally driven. All of us were in your shoes once and know how it feels. All those pains and issues can be due to stress. Stress can do a lot to the mind and body, try to remain calm and just talk it out with loved ones and those that you trust and care about.

Coping and habituating is a slow process, day by day we can get stronger and become more resilient.

 

If you have had an ear infection and the eustacian tube is plugged you need a nasal spray to help clear it. If you do you must spray it properly. Put the spray in the nostril that the ear is plugged. Bend forward a bit turn the nasal spray toward the ear your eustacian tube comes in just under the eye by turning the spray towards the tube spray one time then breathe in normally. Don't sniff it as then the spray will miss the tube.
I have posted on success stories about Apple cider vinegar that worked for me and is helping a few others have a read.
But most of all you need to stay positive.
.bill

 

I feel exactly the same.

 

hi mt5
I feel like you but you have to keep going be strong and maybe we can both beat this hell

 

So then there's no chance that this thing will go away? There's no chance that this tinnitus I'm suffering can disappear?

 

Since you've only had tinnitus since December 2017, and I understand if this already feels like an eternity to you, there is still a change that it could disappear or get quieter. However, we can not assure you that it will go away, unfortunately. But especially if your tinnitus is due to an ear infection or ear wax, I'd say the chances are higher that it might go away compared to tinnitus caused by noise.

 

Tinnitus because of it's nature is unpredictable. Your tinnitus might fade/go away or it might not. No one can say, what will or will not happen with tinnitus. Do know that you can live with it, it seems very chaotic right now, but it can get better.

 

I know its natural but try not to blame yourself on what your experiencing. I recently had similar thoughts of suicide and could not understand my luck. 2017 I became a bitcoin millionaire i was on top of the world after 5 years from deciding that i wanted to be rich. Id found my way to freedom and all in the same month i go from jolly and free to getting T from going out 'celebrating my new life and new found freedom'. I couldn't believe my luck and like you i figured the choice had been made for me and that i had no choice but to end it. This was literally 2 months ago and i feel so much differently now. The noise/intensity has reduced but so has my overall feelings towards it. Iv kinda given up caring about it because its too much trouble to be constantly panicking about it. I know I'm in the mild category but for a month it was shrill. Let time do its thing and take each day as it comes, dont beat yourself up about it. Dont look for what you did wrong and dont think too deeply about 'why me' in general. It will only bring you down and make it worse. I believe deeply that my life is already planned out and life is just a journey of discovery. Who ever is up there has a sick sense of humour but he does what he does to teach us and bring us a new found meaning in life. If id planned my life out for myself id probably give myself a kick in the ass recently too for going to much off the rails. I told myself if i became wealthy id use it to help the world. I since started getting caught up in ideas of buying lamborghinis and other self absorbed BS. I needed to get T to get a better grip on life in general and understand what suffering actually means for so many. I believe it will make me a better person going forward.

 

It's your own thoughts about it that creates anxiety and stress. You are experiencing intrusive, obsessive thoughts, as well, thinking that you have all kinds of diseases. I know about this, because the same thing happens to me. The more that you entangle yourself with thoughts about tinnitus, the worse it will get because you're sending a signal to your brain that something is amiss. Staying positive will not help, nor will most other older psychological ideas about changing your thinking. We have to train our brain to not get engaged with intrusive thoughts, and emotions. Doing nothing, and accepting it, is the answer, and this takes work. Trying to ignore it does not work. By accepting the fact that there is tinnitus present, and allowing it to exist, relaxation and relief from anxiety will be easier to achieve. It's not easy, but it will work if you try, no matter how bad you feel right now. The other thing to try to remember is that habituation happens, albeit slowly, for 98% of those with tinnitus, and it's very likely you'll adapt and feel much better in time. As others have correctly said, there's a good chance that it will just go away on it's own, but even it it doesn't, your tinnitus will eventually be of little, or no, consequence. Good luck and hang in there, we're all in the same boat to various degrees and there's no reason to jump overboard.

 

The MIND is the biggest asset, one has to control their affliction.

 

I've got my appointment with the ENT tomorrow. Any questions I should be sure I ask?

 

Dont let them touch your ears. My ENT made things worse by sending me off to so many tests.

 

What tests did they sent you off to?

 

CT, MRI, Caloric (made it so much worse now), Electrocochleaography (Declined), Typanometry (Declined), Acoustic Reflex (Declined).

 

When initially i got T i had it only in my left ear and it was mild, now i have Hyperacusis in both ears and Tinnitus in both ears with left being moderate. I had to quit my job because i wasn't able to function.
So there ya go.

 

You're sure these tests caused it?? I think that I might still have a partial ear infection and that I will get a stronger antibiotic tomorrow ...

 

sadly i really do think the caloric test caused damage because the next day i got H on the right ear. If you have tinnitus from ear infection it will go away, noise induced dosent go away.

 

Yeah, my tinnitus isn't noise induced. I dont really ever go around loud noises, nor do I have much of a social life (lol). I just want to make sure nothing they do causes permanent damage to my ear!

 

So some good news - there's negative pressure in my left ear along with some blockage of my ET. My ENT and I are going to work to get it cleared with nasal sprays and such. There's a good chance that's what is causing my tinnitus. Hoping for the best

 

nice one dude, at least you have some answers. I think your going to be fine