Barry098
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Barry098

Member, Male

T calmed down this evening to a livable level. I hope the torturer didn’t just leave the room temporarily to go sharpen some more tools! Feb 28, 2024 at 6:21 AM

    1. Barry098
      Barry098
      T calmed down this evening to a livable level. I hope the torturer didn’t just leave the room temporarily to go sharpen some more tools!
      1. Jammer
        Jammer
        In some odd way, I appreciate that my T is consistently horrific, as opposed to tricking me into thinking I'm getting better, to then only to return with a vengeance a day later.
        Feb 28, 2024 at 12:54 PM
        Tryn2BHopeful, streifzug and Barry098 like this.
      2. Barry098
        Barry098
        I’ve had long periods of horrific. I’ll definitely take any breaks in can get at this point!
        Feb 29, 2024 at 7:18 AM
    2. Barry098
      Barry098
      Feeling some chest pain recently...I think that's a good sign that my problems with tinnitus might be resolved in the near future...right?
      1. streifzug likes this.
      2. streifzug
        streifzug
        absolutely!
        Feb 27, 2024 at 8:27 AM
        Barry098 likes this.
      3. Barry098
        Barry098
        Seriously wonder how many years this condition has taken off our lives collectively…I bet when added up, T is in competition with cancer.
        Feb 28, 2024 at 6:23 AM
    3. Barry098
      Barry098
      Not preaching on my last post BTW…just reminding myself how to survive today
    4. Barry098
      Barry098
      The only way to live with T is to embrace it as if you chose it. Resistance is futile and only causes more pain.
      1. View previous comments...
      2. L along the way
        L along the way
        @Barry098 thanks.. i can relate.. the times when i felt more peaceful, was when i felt 'less in my head', more in my body. Sad to hear the description of desperate submission. To me, it also swings.. sometimes it's.. how to say.. 'okay/livable'.. other times it's just difficult to find ease.
        Feb 28, 2024 at 2:01 PM
        Barry098 likes this.
      3. L along the way
        L along the way
        However, plenty of rest, shifting focus from my head to more whole body experience, and attention on breathing.. all helpful. Anything that promotes wellbeing is the thing.. i'd say... hope a good today.. and going day by day
        Feb 28, 2024 at 2:02 PM
        Barry098 likes this.
      4. Barry098
        Barry098
        @L along the way
        All great advice. I especially like what you said about shifting from the head to the body. This is very true for me as well. And day by day is great but often times it’s step by step for me. Just depends on how intense things get. I appreciate your thoughts thanks for sharing.
        Feb 28, 2024 at 4:39 PM
    5. Barry098
      Barry098
      So fucking tired of this rollercoaster…I’m right back to where I was summer of 21 and winter of 17. What’s the point?
      1. Kiyomi, gameover and streifzug like this.
      2. gameover
        gameover
        @Barry098. So sorry. Especially that you did escape it (fully!) once. How cruel to be pulled back into hell again. And again.
        Feb 26, 2024 at 6:12 PM
        streifzug, Barry098 and Kiyomi like this.
      3. Barry098
        Barry098
        Thanks @gameover I might request that my handle be changed to Prometheus because it would better suit my experience! I’m fairly confident that this will resolve too…it’s just that I’m tired of going down this road again and again. Wish I could just live in a bubble…
        Feb 26, 2024 at 11:54 PM
        gameover likes this.
    6. Barry098
      Barry098
      Went to a wedding yesterday. I stayed outside the dance party the whole night and my ears are still ringing louder this morning. WTF?
      1. streifzug, gameover and Kiyomi like this.
    7. Barry098
      Barry098
      I wish I was completely deaf…I’m tired of sound
      1. aab and streifzug like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Jammer
        Jammer
        Unfortunately, you'd then be deaf with tinnitus.
        Feb 25, 2024 at 2:32 PM
        Barry098 and streifzug like this.
      4. Tryn2BHopeful
        Tryn2BHopeful
        If being deaf meant no T I would consider it. Unfortunately it's likely worse.
        Feb 25, 2024 at 3:41 PM
        _Shoto_, Barry098 and streifzug like this.
      5. Barry098
        Barry098
        @Jammer I don’t mind the T as much as the reactivity to external sounds and the fact that I get injured so easily. I would love to be able to go places without fear of this getting worse all the time. @Tryn2BHopeful not sure it’s really an option anyway but it’s fun to contemplate
        Feb 25, 2024 at 4:28 PM
        Kiyomi and Tryn2BHopeful like this.
    8. Barry098
      Barry098
      I think I have a sound allergy
      1. streifzug and aab like this.
    9. Barry098
      Barry098
      Had a low T day. Not sure why but it was a welcome relief from the past few days where it was off the hook loud.
      1. Pixelito, tpj, streifzug and 3 others like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Barry098
        Barry098
        Mine never used to be like this. It is a new stage for me I guess.
        Feb 23, 2024 at 4:29 PM
        gameover likes this.
      4. Pixelito
        Pixelito
        Barry does yours normally vary from quieter to loud?
        Feb 24, 2024 at 12:27 AM
        Barry098 likes this.
      5. Barry098
        Barry098
        @Pixelito recently yes. This is new though. In the past I would injure them and they would scream for months and then slowly they would resolve. If I didn’t injure them they would remain pretty stable. This recent injury caused them to fluctuate really wildly. It’s pretty disconcerting actually because I don’t know what to expect from one minute to the next.
        Feb 24, 2024 at 5:20 AM
    10. Barry098
      Barry098
      This tinnitus anxiety diet is really effective! I’m already back down to my high school weight!
      1. 4Grace, gameover and streifzug like this.
      2. streifzug
        streifzug
        I am growing fat.
        Feb 21, 2024
        4Grace, Barry098, crescentsky and 2 others like this.
      3. Barry098
        Barry098
        @steifzug that just means you have a good stomach for stress and anxiety. I only gain weight when I’m relaxed.
        Feb 22, 2024
        streifzug and 4Grace like this.
    11. Barry098
      Barry098
      Sure doesn’t take much to get my ears absolutely screaming. I just don’t get it…
      1. 4Grace, tpj and gameover like this.
    12. Barry098
      Barry098
      Starting to turn the tide with regard to controlling my reaction to T.
      1. 4Grace, gameover, tpj and 3 others like this.
      2. streifzug
        streifzug
        You are strong! I mean it.
        Feb 20, 2024
        4Grace, gameover and Barry098 like this.
      3. RunningMan
        RunningMan
        That's good if you can control your reaction. Mine is automatic going on 2+ years now. Haven't been able to control my reaction since before that, when it was still somewhat mild compared to these days.
        Feb 20, 2024
      4. Barry098
        Barry098
        @streifzug I appreciate your kind words. I am getting better at not letting it utterly destroy me but I’m still struggling with this like everyone else here
        Feb 21, 2024
        4Grace and streifzug like this.
    13. Barry098
      Barry098
      Slept with ear plugs last night. It was a smoother awakening experience. Didn’t have the electric cattle prod to the spinal cord per usual.
      1. 4Grace likes this.
    14. Barry098
      Barry098
      Earplugs make me feel warm a fuzzy. Wish I could just leave them in all the time…but I know the downside. Severe hyperacusis is lurking!
      1. 4Grace likes this.
      2. 4Grace
        4Grace
        That’s a beautiful gift. You can use them when needed if they don’t bother you. Opens up the world a little. How anyone puts them in with screaming T is beyond me.
        Feb 22, 2024
        Barry098 likes this.
      3. Barry098
        Barry098
        Yeah…makes no sense but, maybe it’s because I always feel safe with them in.
        Feb 23, 2024 at 4:48 AM
        4Grace likes this.
    15. Barry098
      Barry098
      Yesterday was a really low T day! Only major change I made was eating a banana. T came back in full force in the middle if the night though
      1. RunningMan, streifzug and gameover like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. ZFire
        ZFire
        Could Bananas be the key ?
        Feb 15, 2024
        gameover, Barry098 and RunningMan like this.
      4. RunningMan
        RunningMan
        I have an icy banana smoothie about every day to soothe stomach discomfort. I don't think it helps my tinnitus.
        Feb 15, 2024
        gameover and Barry098 like this.
      5. Barry098
        Barry098
        @ZFire that thread is hilarious. Thanks for sharing. I had a few good laughs. I doubt the banana actually made a difference but I’ll try it again tomorrow and report back. Today, no banana and screaming T, BTW
        Feb 16, 2024
        gameover likes this.
    16. Barry098
      Barry098
      Tinnitus is my whole body alarm clock. I don’t even have to set an alarm anymore, I just jolt awake.
      1. ZFire and aab like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Barry098
        Barry098
        @RunningMan and @Joshua Macleod thanks for your feedback. The hardest part of dealing with T for me is lack of good sleep. Yesterday was a surprisingly quiet T day (that has never happened to me so early on after an injury). Last night I really thought I would finally get a good nights sleep but it was waking me up all night. Very exhausting and frustrating.
        Feb 15, 2024
        Joshua Macleod and RunningMan like this.
      4. Joshua Macleod
        Joshua Macleod
        I can only speak for myself, and I genuinely hope this happens for you too, but my sleep is so much better now than a year ago. I do sometimes still struggle to get to sleep, but I suspect that's unrelated life stresses. That said, I've been in those situations where you just cannot get to sleep.
        Feb 15, 2024
        Barry098 likes this.
      5. RunningMan
        RunningMan
        I can usually get to sleep initially ok, but an hour or two later, I'm usually waking up, and after a time or two of that, I can't get back to sleep without zolpidem. I had some sleep improvement in the first few months of severe tinnitus when I sometimes got no sleep, but sleep is consistently poor still - 5 hr average broken sleep maybe.
        Feb 15, 2024
        Barry098 likes this.
    17. Barry098
      Barry098
      As miserable as this feels, I somehow find it amusing that I’m right back to this place again.
      1. gameover likes this.
    18. Barry098
      Barry098
      Does it make anyone else anxious to listen directly to your T? To me it kind of feels like looking the devil right in the eyes…
      1. View previous comments...
      2. Barry098
        Barry098
        @gameover i totally understand where you are. It draws all kinds of emotions out of you. I’ve dealt with this so long now though that I’ve entered this familiarity stage where it almost feels like an annoying relative that comes to visit. Or maybe I just have Stockholm syndrome at this point because I don’t feel anger anymore.
        Feb 15, 2024
        gameover likes this.
      3. crescentsky
        crescentsky
        yeah at times if there is like a new tone or sound or new volume. I would say about 20% anxiety and 80% misery + hopelessness. Fam & friends also adds to the anxiety, esp when they are demanding or questioning my life decisions.
        Feb 16, 2024
        Barry098 and gameover like this.
      4. Barry098
        Barry098
        @crescentsky that sounds like my story for many years. This recent time though, it’s weird but I have no anger, self pity or resentment about this. I think, I’ve pretty much made peace with this condition…so I only have the 20% anxiety that you describe…
        Feb 16, 2024
    19. Barry098
      Barry098
      I have an amazing ability to forget how bad screaming tinnitus is once my ears calm down. Don’t want to make this mistake again…
      1. SharonBell and gameover like this.
    20. Barry098
      Barry098
      Damn this lizard brain and its automatic fear reflex! Once I’m awake I can control my reaction but waking up in terror each morning sucks!
      1. Juliane and RunningMan like this.
      2. streifzug
        streifzug
        I think mornings are also the worst for me!
        Feb 12, 2024
        Barry098, gameover and RunningMan like this.
      3. RunningMan
        RunningMan
        Same here. Anxiety is worst in the morning a while after waking while still in bed. Sometimes it gets better quickly after getting up, and sometimes it's a slow improvement through the day. Late evening is almost always best.
        Feb 12, 2024
        SharonBell likes this.
      4. Barry098
        Barry098
        @RunningMan sounds like where I was prior to this recent injury. Mornings could be a little rough but calmed down throughout the day. Now it is rough in the morning and progressively worse throughout the day. By this time at night T is absolutely screaming!
        Feb 13, 2024
        SharonBell likes this.
    21. Barry098
      Barry098
      Looks like I am going to have to buckle in for a bumpy ride. Good news is I needed to lose some weight anyway so back to the distress diet.
      1. BrOKeN_1 and streifzug like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Barry098
        Barry098
        @streifzug Last two major acoustic injuries I lost 30 lbs in about six weeks both times! Severe tinnitus is the most effective diet I’ve tried!
        Feb 12, 2024
        SharonBell and streifzug like this.
      4. streifzug
        streifzug
        It's really crazy. I hope you get better soon!
        Feb 12, 2024
        Barry098 likes this.
      5. Barry098
        Barry098
        Thanks @streifzug I’ll survive it…I have years of practice under my belt. Just disappointed that I’m back at ground zero once again.
        Feb 12, 2024
        streifzug and gameover like this.
    22. Barry098
      Barry098
      40 minute Epsom Salt bath sure helped relax the nervous system and bring down my blood pressure. T lowered to bearable for little while.
      1. tpj and gameover like this.
      2. SharonBell
        SharonBell
        Barry098 When I found out I had Tinnitus I was devastated, the noise was so debilitating, my anxiety was so bad I lost 30 some pounds in less than 3 weeks. I have gained 5 pounds back , maybe a little more now need to weigh myself.
        Feb 15, 2024
    23. Barry098
      Barry098
      Choppy sleep last night, and intense distress upon waking this morning…back in tinnitus hell!
      1. gameover likes this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. MatthewR
        MatthewR
        Barry you made me really happy with this comment <3
        Feb 11, 2024
        Barry098 likes this.
      4. Barry098
        Barry098
        @MatthewR I’m glad I could cheer you up. I’ve been on this forum for a long time because I am constantly pushing my ears to their breaking point. But I’ve noticed that most people come in super panicky but eventually they lose interest because their tinnitus drifts into the background and they move on with their lives.
        Feb 11, 2024
        SharonBell likes this.
      5. Barry098
        Barry098
        @MatthewR not saying it is an easy road to recovery but for me it is unfortunately a very familiar one!
        Feb 11, 2024
        SharonBell likes this.
    24. Barry098
      Barry098
      Tinnitus is louder than ever tonight…and so the rollercoaster begins again!
      1. gameover and aab like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. BellaMia
        BellaMia
        @MatthewR Sometimes it is and sometimes not. People can have it for years and it goes away. It's really just luck.
        Feb 10, 2024
        Juliane and Barry098 like this.
      4. MatthewR
        MatthewR
        But how can I ever hope on better days if I have permanent hearing loss?? I don’t want to be living like this anymore I’m depressed
        Feb 10, 2024
        Barry098 likes this.
      5. Barry098
        Barry098
        @BellaMia sorry to hear about that accident. Mine was once again my own fault. Music rehearsal that was apparently too loud for my glass ears (even though it never registered more than 74db). It’s rough because music is my livelihood so other than going on disability, or changing careers, this will always be a danger for me :(
        Feb 12, 2024
    25. Barry098
      Barry098
      Deep down inside, I must truly love my tinnitus. Otherwise, why would I continue placing myself in situations that make it worse!
      1. Mark F. likes this.
    26. Barry098
      Barry098
      T was pretty much non existent for the last 2 months and then some very low volume electric guitar playing (65db) brought it screaming back…
      1. gameover likes this.
      2. BrOKeN_1
        BrOKeN_1
        Fingers crossed it fades away agian for you.
        Jan 29, 2024
        Barry098 and gameover like this.
      3. gameover
        gameover
        You have some a rare ability to erase your T, but seems your sound tolerance is gone.
        Jan 29, 2024
        Barry098 likes this.
      4. Barry098
        Barry098
        @gameover yeah…it is weird, but it seems to fade with time but any little sound exposure and I am right back in hot water. Kind of hard for me to avoid sound though as I am a music teacher!
        Jan 30, 2024
        BrOKeN_1 likes this.
    27. Barry098
      Barry098
      Yesterday T=8/10, today woke up after a loud party and excessive drinking to almost non-existent T which stayed throughout the entire day!
      1. Joe Cuber and gameover like this.
    28. Barry098
      Barry098
      Anybody else feel electrical current in your body which vibrates at the same frequency as your Tinnitus?
      1. gameover likes this.
    29. Barry098
      Barry098
      Strange how I can go weeks or even months without giving T too much thought then wham it is front and center in my life again.
      1. gameover
        gameover
        @Barry098. Your case still fascinates me. To total remission, then the return and the swings. When it comes to the center again, is the loudness any different? I.e. what is changing? Attention or loudness? Or both, or hard to say?
        Oct 9, 2023
        Barry098 and SarahMLFlemmer like this.
      2. Barry098
        Barry098
        @gameover It is definitely a volume change when it gets overwhelming. Kind of feels like being in a field full of cicadas during mating season. It just gets really loud and pretty much drowns everything else out. Then after some time it tones down and I can resume life…
        Oct 21, 2023
        gameover likes this.
      3. Barry098
        Barry098
        Btw…when I say it tones down, it is still quite loud and ever present…just not utterly debilitating.
        Oct 21, 2023
        gameover likes this.
    30. Barry098
      Barry098
      Ears were pretty stable and relatively quiet for the past few months…Flu vaccine got them screaming again. (I’m not an anti-vaxer BTW)
      1. View previous comments...
      2. Barry098
        Barry098
        @Mo8409
        You were right. T backed off after about 10 days. Now it is back to the normal loud but manageable level.
        Oct 21, 2023
      3. Mo8409
        Mo8409
        Oct 22, 2023
        Barry098 likes this.
      4. Barry098
        Barry098
        Thanks for the support @Mo8409 I had been crawling out of my skin for a few days…
        Oct 22, 2023
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  • About

    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Musician
    Tinnitus Since:
    02/2017
    Cause of Tinnitus:
    Loud Music
    I'm a musician with some messed up ears...