Keith Handy

One word: HOPE.

By the time you say, "I don't want to jinx it, but...", you have already jinxed it.

I think I could handle a few years without music; I just long for the mental clarity to do other creative projects in the meantime.

Anyone have tones that slowly weave in and out? Not to the rate of your pulse, but much slower, like 20-30 seconds in, 20-30 seconds out?

First day back at work was not too bad. Limiting myself to five hour shifts though. Well-rested and strict anti-inflammatory eating.

The high-pitched stuff is overwhelming. I could tolerate the other stuff for a while.

Not-too-awful news: the psychiatrist really listened, took me seriously. I'm not being tossed to the curb just yet.

At the slightest stimulation—stress or sound—my brain grasps for signals above 9KHz, & tunes in to garbage. This is why I believe in FX-322.

If I just had MORE INFORMATION—what happened, what is going to happen—I could at least live decisively and not with all this fear.

"Whose radio is that? Oh, it's just the toilet flushing." A thing I never had to say/think before the distortions started "tuning" stuff.

I wish there was a way to bypass the ears and inject sound directly into the brain. An "aux in" jack for humans.

I think the ultra-high frequency sounds bother me most partly because of their role in localization. They appear to "cut through my head."

Calmer morning. Strict anti-inflammatory diet, meditation, full night of sleep. No promises (of course).

Trauma has frightened me into sharing some of my best original music, which I now can't enjoy, and everyone is praising it. Cruel irony.

I've somehow trained my musical tinnitus to loop a version of Queen's "Play the Game." Not as good as hearing real music, but it's a crumb.

Can I redeem my Tinnitus Talk trophies for FX-322 dollars?

I just want to know what's going on in there. Self-diagnosis is exhausting.

Did we need an "objective measure" of pain to invent & approve painkillers? I don't think so.

Woke up, it was *screaming* at me. Speed-walked some laps, took a shower, it's calmer for now. Wish it had a "hold like this" button.

Just think, a few short months ago I had no idea which end of the cochlea handled what. Now I'm a freakin' PhD.

When I remove earplugs, I have a moment of relief. I believe it is because my brain gets more signal. It just needs even more.

Look, what I said about "determination, not doom"—yeah, but I need to sleep at night too. Or any time. Whenever. Please.

What do you do for comfort? I find something that works for a little while but then it stops working and I have to find something else.

This whole forum reduced to two posts: "So-and-so recommends trying X." "I tried X and it made it worse."

Reactive tinnitus is, in some ways, the exact opposite problem from non-reactive.

Starting to hear my phantom bass note not as one of doom, but of determination. We are on a mission. (High squeal is still garbage though.)

Crap, all I did was talk on the phone with a friend and then play the bass without an amp for a little while, and now I'm being punished.

Email from a music-mixing email subscription: "How To Develop Great Ears" ... yeeeah, this would have been fun to read a few months ago.

Cochlear diagrams on the web are all confusing cutaways - anyone know of an animated diagram that puts everything in 3D perspective?

Reactive tinnitus: "Yo, I heard you like sound, so here's a sound for when you hear sound to let you know there's a sound."