Tryn2BHopeful

Tryn2BHopeful

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  • 4Grace
    @Tryn2BHopeful hello long time. Sorry to bother you. Are you still on low Mirt? I was thinking of taking 3.5 mg tonight. I remember it helped my T but may have worsened my H. If you are still on it do you find it helps. I remember you were having a hard time getting off of a low dose.Any reason. Thank you
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    Thank you what happens when you try to get off?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I cant sleep and become more anxious. Takes about 3 days. Of course it might just be part of my normal cycle of T.
    RunningMan
    2 mg is the lowest dose I've seen mentioned. Does it still seem to increase your appetite?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Woke up from a dream where I was suddenly using a drill, to realize it was the sound in my head...Its going to be a day...
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Surviving...The idea of getting better is long lost. I have moments of joy and moments of despair, its a ride I just cant get off of.
    4Grace
    Surviving. Moments of joy are good. That's a win. If you're not worsening I believe you can be okay in time.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I remember when I used to try to post uplifting quotes on this page. T just beats the shit out you. Cant give up though, even if I wanted to
    gameover
    Uplifting does not work when T rages in your head.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @gameover I had more hope then. I had hope in habituation, sound therapy, supplements, that someone would help me, and somehow I would be the "exception" and get better. The fact that they say it gets easier with time. I cant say that it has, I can hide my distress better, if that's improvement then I guess I have gotten "better". I simply hold onto my life with everything I got, but its exhausting.
    gameover
    It would be easier with time if it wasn't worsening.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Ugh... Why does T have to be a different experience every day?! I mean wtf. The constant changing makes it hard to habituate.
    View previous comments…
    RunningMan
    Starting with mild T for many years didn't seem to help me because the sudden increase to severe T suddenly in Feb 2022 was like a totally new and horrible experience. I never thought T could be like that despite having had it for many years.
    4Grace
    @Tryn2BHopeful - I know what you mean. I feel the same. Don't know how. The volume makes all the difference in the world. The volume and reactivity is what is killing me. This is unimaginable suffering. Go figure I learned to sleep with this beast. If it was not progressing I know I would be much better by now.
    RunningMan
    I wish I could sleep more than 5 to 5 1/2 hours, which is about what I get with medication. Too many issues as if the T isn't bad enough.
    SharonBell
    The only thing that helps my T is sound all day and night and flexeril when needed, it helps me sleep it's great it just makes me very sleepy the next day, but I think I always take it to late. I need to start taking it earlier.. Do any of you take it?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Low hum is more prevalent than ever for some reason. My normal methods for getting it to stop are not working. Its doesnt seem like TTTS.
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Seems I either have reactivity with noise or humming in silence. Masking or no masking I am SOL. What fun.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @RunningMan The fan does kill the sound for me, as does most things, but seems I have to use a bit of a higher volume than before. Also it seems like after I go for a walk I am good for a couple of hours. Maybe blood pressure related? I dont know I take Losartan for BP, and taurine I think can lower BP as well. To answer your question No, but I have used Space Station
    RunningMan
    I take a lot of walks, even yesterday, and bike rides in the summer. My T ramps up some after exercise, although it's usually the high frequency that's got my focus, so I'm not sure about the low freq T, in left ear only, although it's definitely variable.
    Yosemite
    Are you still on Mirtazapine? If not, for how long did you take it? Was it easy to stop taking it?
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @RunningMan sleep seems to suffer which ultimately leads me into a more depressed state and worse T
    RunningMan
    @BB23, I have never taken Mirtazapine, but I still have stomach pains over 3 1/2 months after weaning off Lexapro (that I used only 7 weeks). But I'm not sure that's protracted withdrawal because I had it while taking it - it's why I stopped. Maybe it brought out underlying issue. Looks like there's 2 of the neurotoxicity (1 education, 1 support).
    RunningMan
    @Tryn2BHopeful Well I hope you can keep your dose of Mirtazapine really low at 2mg and not have to increase it as I've read of others having to do.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Funny how sites about tinnitus tell you that you should seek treatment for it, yet everywhere you go they cant/wont treat it.
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    My new PCP tried... Flonase, allergy meds... but that wasn't it.
    RunningMan
    My PCP first just said he wasn't going to talk about it because nothing can be done about it, and he just ignores his. But then he did refer me to an ENT, where I got the lipoflavanoids and melatonin suggestions and referral to audiology, where hearing loss was confirmed, which I already knew.
    BB23
    @Marina Moon they are clueless even within their specialties. No exceptions.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Damn I had a good life and didn't even realize how good it was. Doomed to live this existence or worse until I die. Last week gave me hope..
    View previous comments…
    Yosemite
    For no apparent reason, I guess?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Yeah like usual.
    4Grace
    @Tryn2BHopeful - life pre T was awesome. All the hardships I had I know now were nothing in comparison. Life is grand. It is beautiful. I was always so happy. I never thought this existence existed. Pure torment for me. Incredible chronic pain in ears and neck. T blasting. I pray for a day that it's better than the day before. Just one.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I keep wondering if its worth getting Clonazepam... just for some relief. I keep trying to avoid given my cause and that of others. Tired...
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I did try melatonin 3mg extended release didn't do much except give me crazy dreams
    RunningMan
    I've tried different doses of melatonin <1mg to 5 mg, time release, sublingual, and taking it earlier in evening, near bedtime, at bedime. I can't say it has any effect on me, sleep or dreams.
    MadeleineHope
    @Tryn2BHopeful Drats. Maybe try smaller doses? I've read that smaller doses can actually be more effective.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    It seems crazy to me that 2 Lexapro caused all this. From 0 to 100 in 2 days.I keep wondering if something happened during the prior surgery
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    2023 destroyed me and I got nobody that even cares in my life, no matter how many times I try to explain it. One of the first things that was said to me after I got T was "Sorry but we are kinda sick of your issues". I try to put that statement aside but sometimes it still resonates in my mind.
    Yosemite
    Do you remember which antibiotics they gave you for the surgery? Were they ototoxic?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I have no idea and I can't find it on any of the paperwork for the surgery. I do remember them saying they didn't remember if they gave them to me during surgery and did it.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Oh its gonna be a day! Had a pretty ok week, but T wants to be angrier than normal for the end of it.
    Jammer
    4 out of 7 ain't bad
    4Grace
    @Tryn2BHopeful - take the wins my friend. I pretty okay week sounds awesome. I know it might be hard at the moment… but .., a pretty okay week! Sounds like you are going forward.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Oh I agree, I am certainly happy about that. I almost felt like a person again. With T though nothing is absolute and can change in a second. Just gonna keep plugging away.
    SharonBell
    We have cats and have had a couple dogs before. My daughter wants a puppy. A lady at my husbands work has one. We are going to go look at him tomorrow. I'm so scared though because of the barking when he gets bigger. What do y'all think. Do any of you have dogs?
    View previous comments…
    SharonBell
    @Tryn2BHopeful Yeah I wouldn't ever do that I miss our dogs LuLu and Tobbie. The next door neighbor has a lab also. Ok I will try to not be right beside him and learn his triggers as he grows up. Thank you that makes me feel better.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @SharonBell by your profile pic it looks like you got the puppy?
    SharonBell
    @Tryn2BHopeful we did get the puppy, but we actually took him back, we was very little and we thought he was to young to be away from his mom. My husband also saw that when we got there the dad looked like he had Pitt on him and in the picture he looked different. So we are going to get her a full blooded lab puppy instead.
    Yosemite
    Your story is quite similar to mine. I took three doses of Lexapro. On the third day I woke up with catastrophic T.

    The difference is that I had already had noise-induced T for three years. It was moderate. Now it has been severe for two weeks (and counting).

    It's very hard.
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @4Grace Somedays are ok and others suck. Just keep truckin along hoping for something to give.
    Yosemite
    @Tryn2BHopeful

    Do you also have sound sensitivity / loudness H / pain H?

    I'm almost 4 weeks in, and today I've been having the worst T so far (in terms of loudness). I'm starting to lose hope. :-(
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @Yosemite I had sound sensitivity for the first couple of months. I still have reactivity but not as bad as I did in the beginning. Its a slow process.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Volume or perception is exceptionally shitty today, reactive as hell. Guess I am just screwed in this life.
    View previous comments…
    kingsfan
    Yea I hear you. Mine was certainly cumulative, but it all hit at once with little to no warning signs. Just woke up with it one morning. No recent big acoustic trauma or anything beforehand.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    T is just a finicky beast... ZERO reason for a spike that I know of... but hell it could just be the rain.
    4Grace
    We are so strong. The reality, like you said, T is a BEAST. No way anyone without it could understand. I agree with what you said.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Honestly what I found interesting is that the hearing loss could be on a different part of the auditory system than which they test. Typically the more quiet of a sound the better the hearing. Damage from louder sounds sits on entirely different fibers that process louder sounds according to this, thus normal hearing test but still having T.
    SharonBell
    @Tryn2BHopeful did you also watch the video about cortex? What do u think about that. You think it's a scam?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I heard something - One needs to get themselves to a point where if a cure came out tomorrow they wouldn't care. It makes sense to a point.
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    @RunningMan - what you mention above scares the shit out of me. I do things I should not … we have to live. Lucky are those with mild and stable T.
    RunningMan
    @4Grace Unfortunately, I didn't do much to protect myself over 20 years. I mowed, was around loud music, and rarely wore earplugs. Days before my worsening, a nasty noise came through my BT earbuds while on a treadmil, and I didn't stop it for a while because I didn't want to stop exercise in midstream.
    4Grace
    @RunningMan - sorry. It's those small moments. A month prior to T and another noise trauma I cut steel in my garage. It was so loud I felt pain in my ears. Had to stop every 5 seconds for how loud it was… had I known about T….
    Tryn2BHopeful
    When do I reach the other side of this? Are all these things (habituation, etc) they say just ways of keeping me alive? Or is it real?
    View previous comments…
    Marshall
    It took me 2 years to mostly not care even when i have the random few and far between severe day. When it's bad bad it's just background noise, there is no emotion behind it. It's just there, and i never thought i would come to "habituation" i always scoffed at the bullshit people were spewing when they siad that word.
    B
    I've read people can take years. We aren't even a year in yet. Sometimes I think I might be but then nope! Mine isn't mild it bounces between moderate and severe. Causes anxiety....I've had a few mild days and what a difference! People with mild T have it a lot easier.
    4Grace
    @BellaMia - mild T can become a walk in the park. I can see that now.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    WTF is happening to me today?!?! I gotta breath.
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    We have to stop pending our hope on the sound of T. We have to be happy regardless of what it's doing. That's hard. I so want to see you so better. You are kind and much stronger then me.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @4Grace I am not stronger or kinder than anyone else here. I am just an unlucky bastard that got trapped by T. I have said I want to die more times than I can count. I don't normally post that here.
    4Grace
    @Tryn2BHopeful - as much as I say. I'm holding back. I feel the same my friend. I feel the same. Everyday.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I destroyed the good life I had by taking 2 pills, or by doing something IDFK. Every day is a sprint to the end to go to sleep...Breath....
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    This is my life everyday. Small bits of hope destroyed daily. A marathon to get to the end of each day. Going to bed with hope that tomorrow with be better. I wish you the best always.
    B
    @Tryn2BHopeful It's sad that I too feel this way. Counting down the days when death will free us.
    4Grace
    @BellaMia - :( I am so sorry to read the above from you. So sad we feel like this.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I didn't know that I would get to witness my own death. This isn't going to ever end. I miss being happy. I am tired of tryn.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I should stay off this site (understandably negative), but staying off this site then there is literally nobody that understands this.
    4Grace
    Just stay away from my profile and you will be okay. This is why I feel so bad. It has to be a place to vent. I am sorry. I think this place saved my life. I can't imagine doing it alone. My condition is not anyone else's.
    Ngo13
    Copy success stories onto an offline doc on your phone. That's what I did and I forced myself to only check those when I was struggling. You have to break the negative thought/reassurance cycle. You can do this. We will all be here when you check back.
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