3.5 Months Into Tinnitus — Scared and Tired

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by GBB, Nov 15, 2020.

    1. GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2016-2019 (Mild, Cured) 8/2020 (Severe)
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      Hi all,

      I've made many posts here but never an introductory post, and I'm feeling pretty down today, so figured it might be a good time.

      I've had tinnitus twice in my life, once from 2016-2019'ish, and again since July 25th 2020.

      The first time my tinnitus was mild and in my right ear only. It quickly faded from my daily attention, being masked by most noise, and over time it eventually went away. One day I stopped using the fan I had been accustomed to use for masking in my bedroom, and I heard silence. It wasn't really an event, it just sort of happened and I thought nothing of it. The tinnitus wasn't a big deal to me and I had almost grown fond of it - it sounded like distant crickets and lulled me to sleep.

      Fast forward to earlier this year, I had microsuction, and a very loud noise went off near me a few weeks after. It took a couple of days to crop up, but I've been in real torment since then.

      My tinnitus at first was an almighty EEEEEEEE in both ears, which changed after about 2.5 months to several different noises in each ear. On any given day I can have a rhythmic tch tch tch in either ear, a lower toned doooooooooo, another lower tone that sounds like wawawawawawa, or a number of other sounds from a grab bag, either tonal or atonal that are very intrusive. I've also had a couple of secondary "traumas", like being exposed to a fire alarm, which seem to elevate me back to existential threat status. I take precautions against this but it's hard when the threshold for re-injury appears to be so low.

      I've had a few times where the tinnitus seemed to be getting quieter, either due to medication, or I had hoped natural healing, but it never stayed quieter, and today although it is not as loud as it's ever been, it is quite loud and intrusive. Innocuous noise will often spike me, and I haven't reached a point yet where simple, everyday things like a shower don't pose a risk.

      I haven't worked since this all began, as I've been trying to just keep myself from losing it, and the tinnitus is an absolute torment and impediment. I would really like to go back to work, but this would involve speaking on the phone for long hours, and more importantly, would demand a level of focus and attention I am able to achieve maybe once a week or less. I had a dream job offer paying me roughly twice what I make now, but that will expire in February - I can't imagine taking a job where I have to travel cross country now, flying twice a week, when my ears are spiked just staying in my own home.

      At this point I am truly scared - I want to be able to enjoy time with my family again and do simple things without constantly fighting a mental battle.

      I've tried different antidepressants, other neurological medications, literally over 25 supplements, a Konftec laser, peptide injections, and a number of other things, but to no avail. I keep a spreadsheet of everything I've ever seen mentioned as helping, and am working my way through it to try everything.

      Every day I tell myself I need to keep hanging on, and that it will get better over time, or that eventually a treatment e.g. neuromodulation, FX-322 etc... will help me get things to a manageable level. I would take habituation, although even at almost 4 months that seems impossible, as my sounds change every day.

      Still on my list to try is extended wet fasting, a number of other medications and drugs, a gentler LED red/infrared light that some have had success with, and hopefully some of the pipeline solutions we often discuss, but I still fear I'll be this way forever, and remain a shell of my former self. I've noticed that most people who do improve seem to have signs by 3-4 months that things are getting better, but I've hardly moved in terms of volume.

      Anyway, I suppose that's it for now - this was cathartic for me to write, so I appreciate the opportunity to do so - this site has been a wonderful community and is one of the only reasons I'm able to keep going.
       
      • Hug Hug x 11
    2. TrevorSanders

      TrevorSanders Member

      Location:
      Ohio
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise Exposure/Ototoxic Medication
      Glad to have you on this forum man. Your contributions have seriously helped many, including myself. My only advice would be just to take it day by day. We’re all going to have our silence relatively soon.
       
      • Like Like x 2
      • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
    3. simb999

      simb999 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      nov 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise exposure
      Hang in there my friend, at 3-4 months mine seemed to be getting louder and louder. I didn't see any progress until the 12 month mark, now 2 years on and it's still improving ever so slowly.
       
      • Like Like x 2
    4. MBH

      MBH Member

      Location:
      Upstate NY
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Overloaded stress
      Mine is irregular. I have different sounds plus they go up and down in volume. It took me a long while, so I willed myself to get used to it. For a while everything bothered me, then slowly, it bothered me a lot less. I kept working, but I took a few extra breaks.

      You have to look outside the box to make it work.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
      • Hug Hug x 1
    5. SoundB0und
      Balanced

      SoundB0und Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      March 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ototoxicity
      I'm sorry to hear you haven't had major relief from anything you tried. It sucks that the laser spikes you this bad. Because the spikes die down eventually, I feel that you're a good candidate for it working, but if the spikes are unbearable it's not an option.

      By now it seems you've tried more things for tinnitus than I have and I tried many. I had different frustrations, many things that I tried worked well right off the bat but I couldn't tolerate the side effects so I had to quit them.

      The laser doesn't have major side effects beyond possible dizziness and the spikes of tinnitus, so that's what I stuck with and I've had success. Plus I take some other things like vitamins, minerals and probiotics, things that don't mess with the body and brain too much.

      You're an outlier in the sense that you were willing to put your time, money and health on the line to get better. There are no guarantees in life as I've learned. At least you can rest assured that you left no stone unturned, even if you don't end up having success, which I hope doesn't happen.
       
    6. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2016-2019 (Mild, Cured) 8/2020 (Severe)
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      Thanks - I don't consider myself an outlier necessarily in willingness to invest in a solution - my tinnitus is just insanely annoying, consisting of many tones in each ear and always changing, so if there is improvement to be had, it's worth just about any cost to me.

      I'm going to try a red light LED that a few people have mentioned, which ranges from 600-800nm. I am not anti-laser, it's just that for me it always seemed too harsh, almost like massage on an open wound - for others I'm sure it is of great therapeutic effect.

      If I habituate over time, great, but you only get one life, and this is the single largest detractor to the quality of mine, so I assume I'll keep trying things indefinitely.
       
      • Like Like x 2
      • Agree Agree x 1
    7. twa
      Busy

      twa Member Benefactor

      Location:
      US
      Tinnitus Since:
      2017- mild /Sept. 2020-moderate
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      meds/acoustic trauma
      I hope you're feeling a little better. I know you've read through many of the posts on the forum. I would highly recommend reading posts from TomCnyc and jjflyman. They are both very encouraging. They both have had noise trauma/s and are doing much, much better. Something that they both stress is that healing takes time, usually a very long time. Patience seems to be difficult in this situation because progress is so slow. I try to redirect my focus away from the noise and symptoms.
       
    8. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2016-2019 (Mild, Cured) 8/2020 (Severe)
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      Thanks, I have read their stuff. Honestly I have some good days and the others I'm just trying to cope and basically am suffering.

      If I had started to progress in a positive direction I'd be more reassured, but it feels more like a merry-go-round. The EEEEE I had at the start is totally gone but in its place I have other tones and rapid pulsing which is just as numbing.

      I'm just trying to put one foot in front of the other each day.
       
    9. twa
      Busy

      twa Member Benefactor

      Location:
      US
      Tinnitus Since:
      2017- mild /Sept. 2020-moderate
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      meds/acoustic trauma
      I'm sorry, I know it is hard. I feel much the same way. I also have the EEEEE. Today, I was thinking it's been 3 months since this started.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    10. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2016-2019 (Mild, Cured) 8/2020 (Severe)
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      I'm going to record my Xanax doses in this thread as a form of catharsis.

      10.10.20 .5mg
      10.12.20 .5mg
      10.17.20 .5mg
      10.24.20 .5mg
      10.31.20 .5mg
      11.03.20 .5mg
      11.07.20 .5mg
      11.14.20 .5mg
      11.24.20 .5mg
      12.12.20 .5mg
      12.18.20 .5mg
      12.26.20 .5mg
      12.31.20 .5mg
      01.10.20 .5mg
      01.12.20 .5mg
       

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