A Sentiment on Here That Annoys Me ("You Shouldn't Monitor Your Tinnitus")

So I quote a post:

"You should not put your fingers in your ear and listen to your T. That is an OCD thing which relates to anxiety. But I am not here to convince you but all the things you say I have been through. Sticking my fingers in my ear .. monitoring your T....does it get louder or not etc etc....and you say you do not have anxiety..... "​

What is with people on here saying you shouldn't monitor your tinnitus, it is totally natural. If you break an arm you wriggle the fingers to rate if there is progress or regression. If you have a cut, you check the scab.

A lot of people on here tell each other IT'S ANXIETY or OCD without even knowing each other more than a few paragraphs of text. It's quite frustrating to read.

If people could stop anxiety they would, and then it wouldn't be anxiety, so the nature of the beast is that they can't. Even those of use who don't have anxiety induced tinnitus , get similar responses, DON'T MONITOR IT!! etc ... from some guy sitting on a pc on the other side of the world, whose ears are also ringing, but yet enforces a behaviour pattern on others when it in no way benefits himself in the first place.

As much as this forum is good, there's a LOT of white noise on here too, not to make a pun or anything!!

 

If you are monitoring your T all of the time then that may be why you are struggling to move on.

The whole point is to get your brain to focus away from the T onto more positive constructive things. Then the brain can get on with the job of rewiring itself so you eventually stop hearing it.

Why do you think most of those who have moved on and are leading ‘normal’ lives don’t listen to it and say you shouldn’t listen for it?

As for the OCD bit, yes I think there is a huge link between those who struggle to move on and being on the obsessive spectrum (speaking as one myself!). The trick is to use that obsessive part of the brain to do something more constructive. Being OCD has some advantages like being able to concentrate on very complex problems. What things do you like doing?

As we get older we get all sorts of physical and mental issues. If we spend all of our time monitoring and focussing on our ever increasing number of ailments, what kind of life do you think that will that be?

Look at the things we still have which still work well and use them to our best ability. Wake up in the morning and be grateful for another day in this amazing life. When we are positive about ourselves it spreads to those around us. If we are negative it drags those around us down. It’s a choice!

 

You shouldn’t obsessively monitor it, but you should be able to listen to it and try to be indifferent about it. There will be times when you don’t have any background sounds to divert your attention away, so being able to tolerate it is important.
Well, that’s my opinion anyway.

 

Yes, silent rooms are difficult to deal with at first which is why sound effects like babbling brooks help in the early stages when anxiety is ramping up the volume.

However when things calm down a bit and you can wean off the props, you should find that listening to your or your partners breathing helps. There isn’t such thing as total silence anyway. Ironically most normal people hear internal sounds in a sound proofed room. Eventually your imagination and focus on other things take over from the T. It’s our imagination which normally gets us off to sleep too.

It all happens in stages, but my advice would be never to listen for the T, especially when you haven’t noticed it for a while. If listening for your T is working for you then go ahead, acceptance seems to work for some people. Not accepting it works for others.

 

I agree, but just want to add (seeing as you quoted my post) that my point wasn’t that you should listen to it.

 

How do you not? Its been almost a month for me and its all I think about. I dread night time now. Its worse at night. Used to look forward to a quiet night not anymore

 

Well if it helps, this is what I did.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...lp-those-going-through-the-panic-stage.27116/

 

Why monitor something that's not going to get better? Accept that happiness and relaxation is gone from your life and move on. It's not worth stressing about something that's here to stay, and checking for it will just make you focus harder.

 

I haven’t met anyone who has moved on from T complain that happiness and relaxation has gone from their life.

Certainly focusing and obsessing about the condition (or any ailment for that matter) will make people unhappy and they will fnd it difficult to relax. The early stages are aweful I agree, but in the end we can break the vicious cycle.

 

Oh I'm not saying I have moved on. I have tried my best and it's just not happening - therapy, medication, the works, you name it, I've tried it. It's been a year and while I have mostly resumed my normal routine (except for the part where my career is over and I had to move on to the boring, meaningless busywork part of my job as it's the only thing that doesn't require that I wear headphones) but it is what it is. Tinnitus is fundamentally incompatible with relaxation or enjoyment of any passive ability, and I think it's a little silly that this forum tries to convince people otherwise.

Focusing and trying to measure it is still useless, though. Accept that your life is over and try to move on. *shrug*

 

I only left my house one day besides going to the doctor since this started. I went to my grandaughters birthday party and last night was the worst its been. I had severe anxiety and insomnia all night. I wanted to scream. Today I feel wore out. How do you go to work when your up all night batteling?

 

How can you move on if you accept your life is over? I got over this by not accepting to let the T ruin my life.

An analogy, if you had a friend who kept annoying you all of the time, would you carry on letting them annoy you or find a way to block them out?

I’m not saying it’s easy but generally in life if we get stuck in a cycle we need to change something. That something can be a new approach to life.

 

Have a read of my link above and the other Success Story’s here. I don’t know how new you are to tinnitus but most people do move on eventually.

It’s very tough at first but it does get better if you want it to and allow time to heal.

 

Monitoring it literally is the worst thing though. Why would you want to monitor it? Surely the goal is to spend as little time thinking about it as is humanly possible.

 

If I had a friend who constantly annoyed me, I would block them on all social media and I would refuse to meet them. This is an easily solvable problem that isn't comparable to intrusive tinnitus at all.

I've been trying with the "new approach to life" for quite a while now. Hell, I even got off all the tinnitus forums I visited when I was still in my acute phase because I didn't want any extra focus on it. I'm honestly a bit mad about all the irresponsible "success stories" on the site - maybe I wouldn't have failed my first suicide attempt when I realised this was permanent if I hadn't read them. I was still thinking there's hope. There really isn't, and anyone who tells themselves otherwise either has mild tinnitus or is a fool. Sure, it doesn't kill you. Doesn't mean your life will be in any way, shape or form enjoyable ever. Again, it is what it is. Focusing on it won't help anyone though.

 

Well at least we agree on something.

 

Hey, it's something! Lol

 

You just do... do see if it really has become worse or better, etc, etc...

 

Exactly, but that’s the habit to break hence why it’s bad. I spent my entire day monitoring it when I was at my worst. This went on for way too long, but it’s an extremely hard habit to break.

 

Yes, so did I in the first few months. Then I discovered that when I didn’t give it any attention, the periods I didn’t notice it, got longer and longer.

Eventually, ironically, I found that being on a T forum didn’t help either! At first though, the forum was a great help. Everything has it’s time and place I guess.

 

Monitoring ------>Focusing---------->Obsession = Can Hold you back from coping/habituation. This simply can make the process longer and that's not what you want.....

 

I don't think you should stop monitoring it, but the point is to stop an anxiety reaction when hearing the T tone.

Despite T going away or not, you want to get to a point where you can lay down in bed at the end of the day and not fear the T in the presence of silence.

 

Everythng can be used positively or negatively. If we direct that obsessive behaviour towards something which benefits us and those around us, it can be a great gift.

It may also help us reach a point where we forget we had tinnitus because we are too occupied to think about it.

 

You are correct @Helheim but not monitoring tinnitus is easier said than done especially in the early stages of the condition. The fact that tinnitus comes in many different intesities complicates the matter. It is for this reason, medication such as antidepressants and counselling with a Hearing Therapist, can be of immense help in allowing people to accept the tinnitus and let go. Tinnitus is generated in the limbic system, which is the part of the brain that controls out emotions. Love, hate, fear etc. The cochlea in the inner ear sends the tinnitus signal to the limbic system and it latches onto it and never lets it go. It is for this reason habituation takes time and some people will require professional treatment in the form of: TRT, CBT, Mindfullness, sound therapy/white noise generators, relaxation therapy and or counselling to help with the habituation process. It is the emotional response and how it affects a person that can be the most difficult to overcome.

Michael

 

It all depends how severe the tinnitus is @Bassplayer? Whilst many people are able to habituate to tinnitus and it remains at a low level. For some people the tinnitus cannot so easily be ignored, especially if one has variable tinnitus.

Michael

 

I have lots of respect for you. Your posts are very helpful but I will say this, I see no positivity when we are scanning, listening and focusing on the tinnitus noise all the time. I have intrusive/hell level tinnitus and if I was obsessed with it, i'd have no energy to come here and support those that suffer.

Obsession if done wrong, can and will drain you. A bad obsession usually is not positive and will not lead to positive results. This is basic human psychology.....

Obsession if done right = sports, meditation, eating healthy = 90% of the time can yield good to great results...

I am in favor of using negative ordeals and turning them into an opportunity and positive results, but when it comes to tinnitus, any and ALL negativity simply can hold us back. Tinnitus plays with our raw nerves and it can be brutal, I try to give it less focus, attention. This advice is crucial for newcomers that are scared and lost.

Do not focus/obsess on the noise, it is there and it may not go away. We Accept, We distract, We move on and LIVE OUR LIVES!!!

 

Just in case anyone is in any doubt, my tinnitus was very intrusive and still could be 6 years later if I chose to let it back in and unwind all the good work my brain (like millions of others) have done at rewiring. Mike probably remembers my early posts.

With respect, I’ve never understood why people use the volume of T to iterate the suffering. I remember times where it was very loud but not a problem because my mood was good. Conversely it was sometimes difficult because my mood was low even though the volume was low.

The point I’m trying to make is that if we surround ourselves with tinnitus thoughts, we’ll never move on.

That’s why I’ll only pop in occasionally because I’ve moved on and don’t want to be reminded of bad times. I mean, why would anyone?

 

Isn’t this what I have been suggesting since I cane on this forum?

Is it just possible that sometimes we become so stuck in our vicious cycle that we cherry pick what we want to hear to support our predicament?

I know I’ve done that. That’s why I believe that much of the battle is to find ways to deal with our life issues. If you like, attack it from all sides...

 

This! I don't have to monitor my tinnitus. It's in my face (pardon the pun) all the time. It varies. When it's low, I can 'ignore' it for the most part. When it's screaming, it's painful, nauseating, and makes me feel completely out of control. Sort of hard to ignore.