Collective Mass Suicide

Not before it happens the world will never really appreciate the seriousness, pain and agony of having T. There will never be focus on us as a patient group, cause were all weird psychology cases with some silly noises inside our heads, They will never value us correctly, we will never receive the respect we deserve for having to live our days with this horrible illness (!) every day of our miserable lives. They need to be exposed and I think we should put ourself out there so we can be seen!

A great final collective mass suicide would do. I'm in. Better to do something for my illness than to just sit passively taking it up the ass by ignorant doctors and other that doesn't even wanna know about progress. Let's kill ourselves to make a point and to clear path for future victims of T. We need to get some attention to T so a cure can come for our next generations at least, and they come in big numbers.

 

gosh golly ...there working on a cure

 

Sorry - I won't in that!
Miserable as T is, life is to be lived.

 

@Per ... Are you ok?

 

eternity in hell seems a bit worse than living with Tinnitus... thinking of you.

 

Suicide is not the answer

 

heres some hope http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23099209

 

NO. In my opinion, a mass suicide would just be chalked up to a suicide cult.
I think if one want to make a difference, go to CNN headquarters, tell them you have tinnitus and that you no longer wish to live and give them a tape of your suicide admission that you prepared beforehand explaining what you have been through. Then just pull out your gun put in your mouth and pull the trigger. I think we all will see you on front page news with tinnitus stuff.

 

Um, right now I am worried about @Per, not making a statement via CNN. Per, you alright? Thought things were going better for you? Or maybe you are just trying to start a discussion on a radical idea and I am over-reacting

 

First of all I think thats a horrible idea.

But if you insist I suggest you could donate your body to science though, participate in trials. One in my family hang herself couple of years ago and donated herself to science to potentially benefit others.
Going all Jonestown never worked out great for anyone. There are more beneficial things to actively do for our case, while alive than dead.

Yeah Dan and leave eyewitnesses scarred for life on their paths to taking their own. This is like when people jump out in front of a train and impose psychological devastation upon people, equivalent of our own state of mind. Horrible idea

 

I agree Tenna - how could we do this to our loved ones?
I have been in this situation too and as a family we will never get over it.
It is very dangerous talk.

 

I'm already in hell.

 

@Per , I know you're trying different supplements, I have just started vinpocetine
And I was feeling a difference until I got the flu suddenly do pls give vinpocetine
A try too, just might work.

 

@Per - id hoped to wake this morning to see you had revisited this thread to let us know you were ok ... If you read this can you pop back in?

 

Someone who does not have T will never truly understand, I agree. But physicians, researches and others who are active in this field will know that it can be seriously debilitating for some people, either temporarily or over longer periods of time.

However they will also know that most patients will get better eventually by habituation or other coping techniques.

Tinnitus can be a burden psychologically but tinnitus itself is benign, we don't have cancerous unregulated cell growth, organ failure, blood diseases, skin diseases, whatever.... it is non lethal.

I guess to our body it is no more than a dent in our armor, a central nervous system, ear whatever thing. Faulty, broken.

But sometimes it feels like our armor is removed all together, and thats the place you might be now, but be assured you can put the dented armor back on and soldier on, barely noticing it at all.

If however you insist in wanting a brand new armor suit you are going to have a hard time. There is no such thing.

You don't need to resign, but you need to accept.

At least that is what works for me.

If besides T you have other difficulties you should see professional help, I did, back when I was in your shoes. No shame in that.

Hope you get better soon.

 

Well said, @Luca. It is inevitable that we all gain dents in our armor. But we still can wear that armor proudly, as those dents show we have learned to take on life's challenges, which come for us all. Some challenges are harder than others, but we can prevail.

We are thinking of you, @Per, and hope to hear from you soon.

 

I absolutely understand you, Per. I have often suicidal thoughts. I wrote on one thread here, that i think, cancer isnt worst than T, because we are mortal and we all die once. But there is a difference between life and only physical existence. Someone with cancer may have niece rest of life (exept last painfull weeks before death), but someone with severe T may live in hell for 40 years. What is better?

How old are you, Per? I tell you something. Try wait, 2-3 maybe 5 years. In my opinion, cure is near. If you are young, after healing you can restart you life and have new beginning, maybe new job, girlfriend and you find happiness again. I am nearly middleaged (34), i have no job, no girlfriend ( too depressed to have one), but maybe in 5 years i can buy calmness for my ears (instead new car ) and maybe i will not be too old for some niece woman.

Suicide is the last and irreversible solution (yes, I agree, it is a solution). But try something else first, because you can kill yourself any time later.

 

Honey 34 is far from middle age You have ten to fifteen years before you enter that stage

 

I have to visit Tartu

 

I know you need to vent Per, but a suicide would be chalked off as a psychological problem and dismissed. Massive or not. Plus all the habituation ayatollahs insist on saying people who suicide because of tinnitus do suicide for other reasons instead. So do not expect any demonstrative effect from a suicide.

I am sorry you are going trough those dark thoughts. Your tinnitus is still pretty young and the chances are good you will feel much better in the future.

Sorry i took so long to answer, TT is atrociously slow on my netbook.

 

Hey Per! I totally echo much of what has been said here!! I really hope you are safe! I also agree with daedalus that you, all of us, need to vent about this horrendous affliction!! Especially to people who get it, who are experiencing similar torture! So vent man!! Get it out!! But don't wander down the irreversible path of S!!

You are needed here in the TT community!! I have only been on for a bit and have benefited from some of your in depth and articulate posts and replies!! I really hope you find some relief soon!! Get centered and stabilized and stick around man!!

 

I don't think Per was saying he was going to kill himself! i think he was suggesting a MASS suicide to prove a point about how T can drive a person to just that, and that the medical profession should take this disorder a lot more seriously than they do ... i think he was saying i'll do it if you all will, not i'm doing it and you can join me if you want ... personally i've thought about ' S ' every single day for the last three months, and if this T gets louder in the future then it's very likely that i will choose this path as an end to my suffering, but i will NOT be announcing it on any public forum it will be between me and my loved ones ... i hope i never get to that level of despair, and i like all all of you are concerned about Per ... i think he's ok and was just having a vent as we all do from time to time, God bless all of us, and keep us well, and give us strength to cope with, and ignore this bloody affliction ... x

 

Jeg vet ikke hvor ille du har det, Per, men jeg vet at det EKSISTERER behandling. Jeg vet ikke hvor mye livsgnist du hadde før du fikk disse tingene, men hvis T og H er dine eneste problemer, håper jeg du unngår en slik utvei. Hjelp er på vei.

Du vet kanskje at AM101 er det jeg håper vil hjelpe meg (akustisk trauma). Det kan godt hende det vil hjelpe deg også. Gjennomsnittlig reduksjon på femti prosent. Bare et par år unna. Vi er kvartveis i forhold til når vi fikk T!

Jeg vet ikke om jeg har H eller noen gang har hatt det, men jeg har nå i løpet av 2 uker gått fra å ikke kunne skrive på tastaturet mitt pga det var så ukomfortabelt, til det nå er som om jeg aldri skulle hatt noen slike symptomer.

Dette skjedde etter at noen på chat-hyperacusis-forumet sa "Congrats, you don't have H!"

Det er veldig mye mentalt. Utifra det jeg har sett deg skrive, så virker du som en som engster deg lett over veldig mye (ikke tolk det negativt, jeg også er sånn), og ser veldig vitenskaplig på det og ønsker svar. Det forstår jeg. Men jeg har merket at et normalt liv er innenfor rekkevidde. Jeg åpnet meg for to venner om T her om dage. Begge de hadde det. Én fra band og én fra piller.

Jeg vil at du skal prøve å bare late som at disse øre-greiene aldri skjedde i en månede, se om du får et bedre inntrykk av tilværelsen på jorda.

Håper å høre fra deg

 

I have another idea. I'm good with writing. Why don't we write a story about tinnitus? Or if there are more talented people amoung us, why not a movie/book about it?

Making people aware comes in many forms. It can be fun, too.

 

Not far away from slovakia, 2 hours by plane?

 

I want to tell you my story, all about my life before and after T, hope that will help you in some degree.

Before I got T 2012 June 22nd, I am a very outgoing man. I got the guide of God and entered the top 1 Univeristiy here in China luckily, then fell in love with a good girl, my first love indeed. After graduation, I got a good job opportunity in Tokyo, but for our love, I decide to stay in Beijing. 2 years later, my ex went to the Northwestern University Kellogg School of Management for her MBA degree, I went to the States together with her, took the luggage. After coming back to China, one of her friend want to rent her house so I went there to help move the house.

It was that day, June 22nd, 2012, I slipped down because of the mess room, and my right ear poked by a very sharp thing, I don't want to mention that any more. You could imagine what happened, super hurt and I got severe hearing loss and T onset immediately. After that my hearing recovered with no clue about 80%, but T remains, not very loud. I got a sound generator in Evanston and somehow habituated, but Jan 8th 2013, I did an MRI in Beijing, and the loud noise made my T 3 times louder until today. Very loud, how loud? Sometimes I hear it over the jet engine when I take a plane.

My ex fiancee left me because of my T related depression, 5 years love, and I got injured when I helped move her house, you know the feeling, yes, suicidal, every second.

I continue working in a very busy and tough industry(management consulting, always work until 11 pm or so), and unfortunately I am working in the same company same office with my ex now(actually 5 meters away from her seat), and the office is super silent, you know the feeling when I saw her face and heard the loud T at the same time, yes, suicidal. That is my everyday working life.

But why I am still alive and even traveled around the world to enjoy my life most of the time? 3 things:
1. I trust God, and have hope, faith and love.
2. I am the only son of my parents because of the stupid one-child policy in China, I cannot leave.
3. I have you guys, the TT members, who really understands, and always be with you.

Today is the Chinese new year eve, maybe the worst one since my born in 1987 , but I am typing here to encourage you @Per, there will be a cure in about a decade, I keep contacting with all top scientists and doctors. You could read my post that today I received an email from Harvard which I thought the best gift for me to begin this new year.

And the worst hypothesis, if you really can't burden the T, if your T is unilateral, you could ask a doctor to cut the 8th nerve, 50% chance to stop it totally, I know a man did that in the hospital, he is very good now with only one ear works, but avoid taking his life instead.

Sorry for the long reply, I am only 26, have no right to educate anybody, but just want to express that we are all with you and understand what you are thinking and talking about, sincerely, hang in there.

Best,
Aaron

 

Yes! I also think that people who suffer from strange conditions should speak about it more. If we dont, then how will people understand whats it like to live with it? I have a friend working in media and I will probably speak to her so that she can write an informative article and helps others avoid my mistakes.

 

Yes, I am always thinking that we TT should do something in a proper way to impact the world, at least know a situation called tinnitus

 

That reminds me, when I first got tinnitus, at night I used to listen to the sound of waves rolling on a beach, including some sea gulls. I had the idea of a thriller about somebody with tinnitus who listened to these kind of sounds and suddenly thought she could hear other weird things, like somebody calling for help. Obviously everybody else would think she was imagining it, but she would be obsessed by finding out where the sounds were created and recorded and who was calling. I didn't get much further than that though.