Don't Want to Lose My Life, My Family.

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Joel86, Apr 6, 2015.

tinnitus forum
    1. Joel86

      Joel86 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      I'm a new sufferer with tinnitus. I've only had it for a week. Started in my right ear and turned into a high pitch squeal. Now it is also in my left. I got it after I woke up in the middle of the night with ear pain and reduced hearing in conjunction with a upper respiratory virus. The next day, I saw my GP who put me on prednisone and an antibiotic. It fluctuated throughout the week but seems to not be getting any better.

      A week later, I can tell my hearing is off a little bit and I'm not sure if I have hearing loss, but the screaming I have in my ears cause me the greatest distress. I feel as though I will never have a normal life again.

      I am a pastor of a church, and my faith in Jesus is as strong as ever. I know God doesn't always release us from suffering, but it is hard for me to accept. I have two small children that I love more than anything. I have a great wife, but she is incredibly irritated with me that I can't snap out of it and be myself. I've always struggled with anxiety and depression, as well as a great deal of hypochondria over the years (eyes, heart, cancer, etc). Over the past week, I've broken down in tears so many times, even writing this, thinking it's going to be like this forever and I'll never have peace to work, play, or enjoy all the things I use to. I ca Would love some encouragement, or just someone to talk to who can relate.

      Thanks.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    2. attheedgeofscience
      Uninvolved

      attheedgeofscience Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Denmark
      Tinnitus Since:
      Childhood
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Head Injury
      That's the right approach during the very early stage. Still... you need a proper assessment (e.g. hearing test) and that can usually only be conducted via an ENT...

      Depending on the immediate outcome (and your location), you could consider enlisting in a clinical trial such as AM-101, for instance.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    3. Joel86

      Joel86 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      I have an appointment with an ENT a week from today. Earliest they could get me in.
       
    4. Joel86

      Joel86 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      And thanks for telling me about AM101. I just registered and am going to be seen this week to do the clinical trial in my hometown. Do you have any experience with it?
       
    5. marqualler
      Nerdy

      marqualler Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Minneapolis, MN
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection / Mild Noise Induced Hearing Loss
    6. 1MW
      No Mood

      1MW Member

      Cause of Tinnitus:
      ssnhl
      God will not help you will not protect you. Prayers not not work more than placebo this has been tested in T.
      Steroids and antiviras maybe help you.
      In case of viral infection antibiotics will not help you because does not fight viruses only bacteria.
      If you have virus treatment is antivirals and corticosteroids.
      If you have not seen improvement maybe the diagnose is wrong or the doses are low
      or was a delay before starting treatment.
      In any case T get better in more cases with time.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    7. Pilot
      Mellow

      Pilot Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Baltimore, MD
      Tinnitus Since:
      December, 2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Hopefully it will clear up when the virus goes away. I think it would be good to get the support of your wife somehow, I would be in much worse shape if my family didn't understand. Maybe she can read some of the posts on this site to see that your emotions towards T are normal. My wife joined a Facebook page for T.
       
    8. astronomer
      Spaced

      astronomer Member

      Location:
      georgian bay,ontario,canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise induced
      not going to give you the big song and dance, but you wont lose your life and you wont lose your wife,take it from there my friend.....work it out !
       
    9. Vincent R
      Inspired

      Vincent R Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic trauma
      @Joel86

      Don't expect to switch from being a mess to become your usual self in an instant. It can't be done by an effort of will, and it can't be done by pure faith either. There's no snapping out of anything. What there is, is a road to walk which is tough and long but actually possible to endure. If you give yourself time and exert patience, that is.
       
    10. Danny Boy
      Cheerful

      Danny Boy Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      7/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      Or you could skip all that and get some trobalt lol
       
    11. Vincent R
      Inspired

      Vincent R Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic trauma
      You've had some good result from Trobalt, Danny Boy?
       
    12. Danny Boy
      Cheerful

      Danny Boy Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      7/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      80% reduction...10/10, to a 2/10.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    13. Joel86

      Joel86 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      I've never heard of trobalt before. Who would prescribe that? I took a Xanax for the first time today. I don't think it reduced the loudness but I seemed to feel a little better than I have recently.
       
    14. Joel86

      Joel86 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      She won't. She's the least anxious person that I know and she wants me just to trust her that I'm probably just anxious about this and if I don't pay attention to it it will go away.
       
    15. Joel86

      Joel86 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      Did you do it? I am scheduled next week for a screening but nervous that it might make this go worse.
       
    16. SoulStation
      No Mood

      SoulStation Member Ambassador Team Tech

      Location:
      New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise / Possible Medication
      In many cases that are new the T tends to calm down or resolve on its own. You will be ok.
       
    17. Joel86

      Joel86 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
    18. Joel86

      Joel86 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      But actually that brings up a question that I have. Does T ever just resolve itself completely? It seems on these threads that people just learn to deal with it after a year or so. I don't have a year to learn to deal with it! I have to keep going with life. I have a full-time job and family to support.
       
    19. What is your alternative Joel?

      Let me tell you, thank your God, you don't have hyperacusis too.

      Look it, what is that saying?" If you're in hell, keep walking" well sounds spot on for you don't you think?

      You're a Pastor, have some faith God will calm your fears and lead you out if this...whether he takes your T, well who knows, but most habituate so there is always that.

      I have to say..one of my biggest fears in life was developing T as a symptom from my tmj disorder. .and it happened and for added bonus I also got hyperacusis....sucks to be scared of something and then get it huh?!

      One day at a time for now.

      Pray.

      oh and take that xanax now and then :)
       
    20. Danny Boy
      Cheerful

      Danny Boy Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      7/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      Do I need to mention keppra again?
       
    21. No @Danny Boy I got your message loud and clear ;) I already pmed you about it...

      Maybe I will end up in Spain!

      I appreciate that you are trying very hard to help us, but I just can't get it *yet*
       
    22. Danny Boy
      Cheerful

      Danny Boy Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      7/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      Well, maybe...Just maybe I can get you some..
       
    23. Danny Boy
      Cheerful

      Danny Boy Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      7/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      Very unlikely...Although, if you get some trobalt, then maybe, just maybe.
       
    24. ruben ruiz

      ruben ruiz Member

      Location:
      Tucson, AZ
      Tinnitus Since:
      2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      I believe it was meds and stress
      The H is the worst. It keeps me from being social. The pain really gets to me. If I just had T I would be grateful
      I think Trazadon spiked the H. It is my sleep med. Ill try to stop it someday and use something that is not ototoxic.
      God I pray that there is a finish line. Bless us all.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    25. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Welcome Joel. Sorry about your deep suffering from tinnitus. We understand what you are going through as we have been where you are and many of us have recovered and now living a normal life. Don’t worry and give it time. Time will definitely be on your side. Your tinnitus being so new, your body and your nerve are a bit overwhelmed now with the new stimulus. The trauma of T is causing your brain to function under the limbic system of fright or fight. Your brain will have many distorted thoughts about the future, called cognitive distortions.

      But you will not always think nor react the same way in a few months, a year or two from now. Why? A few years back I was overwhelmed with ultra high pitched loud T. Worse I was also attacked soon after by severe hyperacusis. All normal sounds turned glassy in quality, and were piercingly hurtful to my senses as if being drilled constantly. I had to wear earplugs all the time, but the plugs blocked off all outside masking sounds, making the harsh T shrill so dominant and unbearable. I had to choose the lesser of two evils and there was no lesser choice between T & H. The brain saw no way out and it caved into relentless panic attacks, being that I was a panic prone person before T & H. So besides the horror of T & H, I also had to face the terrible symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks all day. I had to depend on meds just to survive each long, dark day.

      I thought I would never recover from such 'hell' of a life. But never say never. I am here back to normal today, living an absolutely enjoyable and productive life. I even travel often after T, even taking long flights and went on cruises. I went back to enjoy all that I used to enjoy. Life is beautiful now. If I had known that time and a positive attitude plus some CBT strategies would turn my sufferings around, I would not have spent so much time in total misery and trauma during the initial phase of T and worried so much about the future. So hang in there. Don't despair. You will be just fine. Give yourself enough time for the body to absorb in the new sensation. I encourage you to read up all the success stories to give yourself some hope and comfort about the future. You will learn some valuable collective wisdom, insight and effective strategies how to triumph over T from the posters. Here is my success story if you have time to read it up.

      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

      There are also new treatments available as Danny Boy says. So be positive, relax and have a bright hope for the future. Hope you find some uplifting spirit from Romans 5:3-5. That is what I often used to cheer myself up during the darkest time. Take care. God bless your recovery.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    26. Mark Beehre
      Facebooking

      Mark Beehre Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Wellington, New Zealand
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2008 // 11/2014
      Hi Joel, I am sorry to read about what you are going through. I hope you can find comfort in the knowledge that it will get better with time. What you are experiencing is the emotional response to tinnitus and it is by far the worst part. Once you get a handle on that and with enough time the ringing will either go completely or stabilize. Eventually you will habituate and simply get used to it that you no longer notice it. Life will be back to how it used to be. In the mean time this forum should give you lots of information on what to do. Just remember to protect your ears going forward. :)

      You are very blessed to be a man of God, especially a Pastor as you will be familiar with our unfailing hope in Jesus. Hope in healing, hope in restoration and hope in recovery. Get your congregation behind you in prayer and you will see this affliction removed. Demonstrate the faith that you no doubt encourage your fellow believers to have in their daily walk with God. In other words I encourage you to practice what you preach! :)

      Just remember that Abraham and Sarah had to wait many years for a child, Sarah was 100 when it finally happened. Joseph spent years in jail before he was able to step into the promise God had for him. Jacob waited and worked 7 years for Rebekah and then had to work another 7 for her following Laban's deceit. The Israelite s spent 40 years in the wilderness before God allowed them to step into the promised land with Joshua. It was all about faith and faith is best demonstrated with time. There would have been points in their journey where they were scared or worried about their future, but hang in there mate and no give up or allow fear to hold you down. Believe that despite the adversity you currently faith that this is only a season and like all seasons this will end.

      Remember Romans: 5:3-5
      We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

      God bless you mate! :)
       
      • Like Like x 2
    27. Vincent R
      Inspired

      Vincent R Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic trauma
      I've been worried about my ability to take care of daily tasks myself. But so far, it has worked out, and I am by no means used to T yet. Maybe it will work out for you as well. I guess you'll just have to bet on it. You can only try your best.
       
    28. Sailboardman
      Frustrated

      Sailboardman Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Florida
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/21/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Sensorineural hearing loss right ear.
      Joel86

      You are only into this a week. Stay as calm as you can and continue the Prednisone! Ask your ENT about a Prenisone drip. Stay away from antibiotics. Many are ototoxic. Xanax is ok for the short term, but get off of it as soon as you can.

      I had T initially back in 2007 and it resolved itself within a month. However, through my stupity, I never research it back then and continued with loud music, power tools, lawn equipment, etc., without hearing protection! Then last year, it came back to stay.

      You maybe lucky and have it disappear within a few weeks? The good thing is, you came to this site early on and will be educated on the do's and dont's from other members. Avoid caffiene, sugar, sodium and alcohol. Test what triggers your T one by one.

      Listen to the veterans here and learn from them. Don't jump to conclusions, since you just got T a week ago. Stay in the now and do as much as you can in fixing the problem.

      Since you're a man of faith, rely on it, but also reach out for earthly help.

      Your in my prayers!

      God bless,

      Sailboardman
       
    29. marqualler
      Nerdy

      marqualler Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Minneapolis, MN
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection / Mild Noise Induced Hearing Loss
      @Joel86 I did not end up participating in AM-101 because the evaluation of my eardrums was such that the intratympanic injection would inflame my eardrums too much. But that is not the case for most patients. There has been a fair amount of success from users here and a good amount of success from the Phase II results (here: http://www.aurismedical.com/images/auris/downloads/auris_fact_sheet_AM101.pdf)

      Any medical study comes with risks, of course. But it seems as though that a) the study results from Phase II show that safety is very high in this study and b) anecdotally, from reviewing what some of the users have stated in the thread here, most of the initial difficulties experiences (lower threshold in hearing due to the medication and inflammation of the eardrum) resolve over a few weeks.
       
    30. Joel86

      Joel86 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      Thank you @billie48, @Sailboardman, and @Mark Beehre! I fought the urge to stay home again today and came into work. It's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. I've let my emotions about all this overwhelm me, and hurt my family, and I just continue to hope and pray and try that I can stay away from negative thinking.

      I know that my T is worse when I'm stressed and thinking about it. It also came on in a week of my life that was very stressful. I know T isn't caused by stress, but maybe I've always had it, and just haven't noticed it until I let myself get run down and sick.

      Here's an interesting thought. Before I go to the ENT next week for a hearing test, I've downloaded some hearing sensitivity apps and they've all come back normal. I know they aren't reliable, but what I found is that whenever I was focusing on listening for different frequencies, I didn't notice my T at all. It was like it was gone until I put my fingers in my ears and checked. Also, when I wake up in the middle of the night, I don't hear my T either, I start to rejoice, and then I start to hear it faintly, my heart races again and its the same as always. Anyone else have experience with this? If anything, it gives me hope that I can desensitize myself to the noise after a while and not even think about it.
       
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