How Am I Going to Get Through This Horrible Benzo Withdrawal?

Now I know why people advise against taking these pills. The addiction is crazy!

The depression I am feeling right now due to benzo withdrawal/tapering is inhumane. It is beyond bad: my suicidal thoughts are really strong, I feel a big knot in my chest. I cry several times a day, heavy crying fits where I end up collapsing on the floor and hyperventilating.

I don't know how I am going to get trough this I already use Seroquel to take the "edge off" as advised by my doctor, but I still feel horrible. I just want to take more of the damn benzo and be done with it.....but I know that if I do that.....I will never kick this addiction.

Any advice on what I can do to take the "edge off" how long will this withdrawal last?

 

I am a believer in taking medication to help with tinnitus because when it is severe it can be very debilitating. Whether it is clonazepam or antidepressant, properly managed by a doctor most people don't have problems. In my opinion, it is better to take these meds than slipping into deeper depression because we all know what this can lead to. I was prescribed clonazepam back in 2010 and it helped me immensely and I have nothing but good to say about it because I know how bad I was. I take it a couple times a month now for a few days when my tinnitus is severe and have no problems.

If I were you I would be very careful listening to people that say clonazepam and antidepressant run a mile from them. It is alright for them to be saying this when their tinnitus isn't loud and intrusive. When you are in the suffering you're in it alone and these people dishing out wrong advice are not there to help you. You were prescribed these meds for a reason and I think you should adhere to the regime that you have been given and wean of them gradually when the time is right.

I wish you well
Michael

 

I agree that they can be helpful when you are new to T and suffering.....But I have taken them everyday (high dosis!) for over 3 months now and I know that addiction kicks in after a few weeks, so sadly I have become very addicted to them by now, and the longer I stay on them the harder its gonna be for me to get off them in the future, so it is now or never.

I think I remember you writing on here, that you took Clonazepam every day for about 3 weeks during your T onset, is that right? That is also a very sensible time to be on them.....much longer then that, then you get addicted, like I have now.

The effects of the AD's I am taking have also kicked in, so there is no better time then now, but I would like to know how long these withdrawal symptoms will last, but I am sure nobody can say for certain how long it will last.

 

I can only offer support.

I managed to stop daily usage after about a month and only suffered about a week of rebound anxiety (but those days were hell, i remember telling my mother how much i wished i had died around that time and that i'd rather live on benzo until they kill me than live with T alone).

It does get better after a while, even if the tentation is always there (tbh, the only times i feel good since T are when i take benzo :'( )

Even now, if i take benzos for over a day; i usually have two days "worse" when i stop them again.

 

I took clonazepam continuously for 3 weeks then gradually reduced but continued taking it for around 5 months varying the dose considerably on the advice of doctor, as the body will build up a tolerance to it. Sometimes this was 1, 2, or 3 times a week. As my tinnitus improved with other things that I was taking which is mentioned in my post: My experience with tinnitus, I took clonazepam even less. As I've mentioned I only take it a couple times a month now and just for a few days.

Tinnitus is a very complex condition and no two people experience it the same. It can be particularly difficult to cope with in the first 6 months to a year of onset depending on how severe it is? Not only do I have personal experience of the depths that this condition can take a person to, I have also counselled people that are under so much emotional distress that they no longer want to be on this mortal plane. I am sorry to sound so sobering but believe medications like antidepressants and clonazepam can help people and change their life around. Properly managed most people do not get addicted or have any adverse reactions.

Some people are adverse to taking any form of medication to help their tinnitus and that it just fine. However, when this condition is severe and intrusive and this is sustained it can drive a person do so something that they wouldn't normally do if they were not in such a distressed state.

Michael

 

Hello Sandra,

I am really sorry to read you like this...

Regarding the Seroquel, did you also take it during your Benzo "cure" ?

Do you live with your parents or BF ? Someone that can be there for you ?

Hang on !

 

I know how you feel. I was once on very high dosages of benzo myself. It does take a lot of heart and courage to get off these meds/drugs once the addiction has kicked in. It took me a good 9 months to 1 year to fully get off them and the withdrawls were very nasty and taking care of 2 sick parents at the same time was even crazier.

I knew that I had to get off these pills and just stuck with my decision. Each and every day was a difficult matter and my tinnitus was very annoyed. It's a day by day thing. Every little day that i was moving towards, my goals (reducing and getting off the meds) was a big victory for me.

It is not an easy thing at all and I can totally understand your emotions and know just how awful your withdrawls feel. Doing a proper taper is very important, so please be kind to yourself and know that you are not alone. Many including myself have taken the steps before you and have tapered off the benzos.....

 

Did you stop cold turkey?? If so, you are very lucky that you only experienced a week of withdrawal hell.....I think you must always do a slow taper or else it can get really really bad, like you can go into a psychosis

Im glad that you were able to stop your daily usage of them though and thank you for the support

 

No, I did not take Seroquel for maybe 2 months, I took them in the beginning with the benzo's but eventually stopped needing them. I now take them to relieve some of the awful withdrawal symptoms, even just a little.

I do not live with my parents, and I dont have a boyfriend, so I don't have anyone there on a daily basis, unfortunately.

 

Each person's reaction to benzo drugs can be different. I am like Michael that I had to depend on drugs during the most difficult time when will power alone wasn't enough to stop or tame the suffering. I had to take Ativan, Prozac and sleeping pills just to survive each day because I had so many anxiety and panic attacks during the day and I had to use drugs just to function. I used Ativan for about 6 months almost daily and as needed the rest of time within the first year. I had the sublingual one so in critical need I just put one .5 mg or 1 mg pill under the tongue. I phased out the drugs slowly and I would say the mild to severe anxious feeling stayed for about a week and that was it. I am not encouraging drug dependency but some people have to depend on them and may use them longer term.

I know of a lady who had taken Ativan 1 mg daily for 5 years for calming the nerves and for sleep. She had the misfortune of developing breast cancer in mid-term pregnancy with her 3rd child. What a traumatic news for a young mother with 2 highly dependent children to care for while pregnant. She was torn by the dilemma of starting instant treatment and giving up on her fetal baby or trying to postpone her cancer treatment to give birth to her 3rd child and risking death by cancer leaving behind all 3 children highly dependent on her as she has no close relatives living nearby except her working husband. Anxiety and sleeplessness plus depression ruined her mental health and she had to depend on Ativan to function after the baby was born and cancer treatment began. She took Ativan for 5 years as during this time she had very little choice but to get a good sleep and stay calm in order to function as a mother. After 5 years with her cancer in remission and with Ativan not really working anymore, she decided to stop the Ativan, and she did this without consulting her doctor for slow tapering of the drug. She stopped it cold turkey at the advice of one of her friends who told her she would be suffering mighty anxiety for a week or two. She did just that and said it was a very tough 2 weeks. But after that she said she was fine. So each person can be different. Hope your anxiety will subside within a week or two too. Take good care. God bless.

 

I do understand your concerns about the meds. I have also taken into consideration that you do not live with your parents or have a bf because you mentioned it a while back. Please excuse me for saying I have taken note that you've spent time in hospital because of the tinnitus. l am also aware of your work situation because you mentioned it in the forum. Putting all this together it's a lot on one's plate. This is why I have said your situation must be handled with a lot of care and consideration regarding reducing your medications. I have taken a look at the whole picture and not just one aspect of it.

Michael

 

In insight, the way i did it was terribly wrong, but it was very close on onset and had a very hard time thinking straight.

I was on about 6 mg bromazepam a day, and i went down to 1.5 mg/day for a few days, then every two days, then twice a week, then once in a while.

I would do things more slowly if i were to do it again.

But it does get better. I wouldn't have believed it, but i have managed to go two weeks between benzos pills. And to know they are there "in case" help mentally as well once you are threw the withdrawal phase.

 

I understand what you are going through withdrawing from a benzo. It's horrible and can be very difficult. My best advise to you is to taper slowly. If you are feeling this bad then that tells me to slow your taper. Do not go cold turkey!!!!! (if you did)

You will get off of it but it may take time. It is best for your brain (and body) to do it slowly. If you haven't already, join Benzo Buddies and you will find a community where you will get detailed info about tapering, etc. Learn what you need from there, but don't read too much, if you know what I mean.

A way to keep the edge off? Keep yourself as busy and distracted away from your symptoms, as you can. You can and will do it! Your brain needs to adjust slowly to the withdraw of the drug - they are very powerful.

Benzos are serious drugs - it's crazy the way doctors prescribe them and basically have no understanding or care for the additive qualities.

 

I know what you mean about benzos...I'm not sure if it is me or the benzo but I was able to reduce it slowly. Due to my bipolar or the benzo withdrawal i couldn't get past .25mg of klonopin for most days. However, when I started taking Neurontin and Lamictal at the same time I was able to lower it much easier. That is my experience but I was on a fairly low dose of .5mg of klonopin a day.

 

Ok so the Seroquel can take a little time to adjust... So don't be worry you will feel better soon !

And now you just quit the Benzos so it's very difficult but also it will adjust in time...

I understand I also live by myself but some days I am very glad that I can just be quiet without almost any noises...

And anyway even with people we feel lonely in our ringing heads...

 

Hello Sandra how do you feel these days ???

 

Hey sandra its Ron hang in there is very hard I stop on June 30th benzos and I'm having a hard time I still take a little a piece of clonazepam once in awhile I don't know how long he withdrawal is but seems like things just does not go away I'm seeing a doctor he wants to try something out but I don't know what to do hang in there god bless you. A lot of us are alone fighting this is very hard I do have a girlfriend but she does not support me she doesn't even ask me or try to help

 

As an ex (aka recovering) meth head, I can only advise cold turkey. Though benzo's are quite different to meth.

Addiction is hell, the sooner you get off them the better. You have to know, things are hard now, but I promise they will get better. I hope u are doing ok.

 

Quitting benzos cold turkey is not a good idea.

 

Sorry to hear what you're going through.

I need to calm down, and was thinking of asking my MD for a Rx for Clonazepam, when I go to him on Monday for a routine visit. I'm having second thoughts, for fear of addiction or habitual use, but we'll see how I feel in a few days.

I hope you feel better real soon.

 

what was the medication and how much was the total daily dosage and how long were you on it ?

 

Apologies in advance if someone else has given you this advice, however:

Crossover to the equivalent dose of Diazepam aka Valium (http://www.benzo.org.uk/bzequiv.htm) and then taper using that. It will be much easier and you can take the taper at a much slower pace. It's much trickier to taper off of other benzodiazepines with shorter half lives.

Great information on benzodiazepines here: http://www.benzo.org.uk/index.htm

Also try to stay away from the Seroquel when you're ready - unless you have another medical condition that requires it's use. Long term use of anti-psychotics are bad news for your brain.

Other than that, the best advice I give anyone on here: exercise, exercise, exercise! Not talking about an occasional walk - but hit the gym, start running regularly, lift weights, play a sport, go hiking, etc - anything that will push your body and help you break a good sweat.

Some more information on the benefits of rigorous exercise:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurobiological_effects_of_physical_exercise
http://thebrainflux.com/neurological-benefits-of-exercise/
https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/exercise-neurological-benefits/

It will help with your withdrawal symptoms, anxiety and depression.

Good luck!

 

Sorry to hear you are having a bad Benzo withdrawal reaction @TheDanishGirl.
I had a similar problem abruptly stopping Ativan after Three months of daily use. This was Twenty years ago but I can remember it like it was yesterday.
I was told at that time that the reaction to withdrawal varies from person to person.
I had a similar reaction to the one you describe.
For what its worth my advice would be to hang in there with what sounds like a professionally (medically) managed withdrawal.
It WILL get better in time.
Confide in your loved ones, cry when you feel like it, get outside and walk, mix with people...don't lock yourself away, eat well and get as much rest a you can.
In time things will improve.
For me the physical withdrawal ( insomnia, gut problems, racing heart, sweating...etc ) took about Six months.
The emotional part was the hardest as I had taken it for shoulder pain and not an emotional problem. This took about a year or so.
As I was told you need to get the Genie back in the jar.
I hope today is a better one for you.
X

 

@Luman, if you can get your MD to prescribe it to you, I would take it. You are not going to get addicted to clonazepam if you use it for a month or two. I took it years ago for a few months and got off of it without any problems. So 3 days after I woke up with loud T in my head I found some extra pills and didn't hesitate to take them. Took the tinnitus out of my head to a mild hiss in my ear. I took it about 5 or more weeks so I could fall asleep and stop my anxiety. Then I got off of it slowly by titrating not cutting doses. It involves crushing pills everyday, putting in liquid and taking out millimeters a day. It seems like alot of trouble but believe me less anxiety!!

 

Thanks. I'm gong to see my M.D. on Monday, will ask for them. I would like to get an antidepressant SSRI also but I am very hesitant to do so because it often takes a number of attempts with different types before finding one without side effects, and which works. The last thing I need right now is SSRI side effects, I had that happen for a few days in 2016 with a generic Sertraline, and it was extremely rough, terrifying actually, so I stopped taking them, and this was before I even had T.

 

Felt "good" for about a week, but now I feel so bad again I contemplate suicide all the time, and my 2 year plan is still intact. I can not live this way in the long run. It is way too draining and exhausting.

I will see in the next year if their will be any improvement. basically if I can keep my life or not.

 

@TheDanishGirl

Try to keep focused and just know that you're in a better place than you were a couple of months ago. Remember to reinforce positivity by reading messages from members on the positivity thread and documents on my started threads...

Don't stop believing
Michael

 

@Luman, I don't like antidepressants either. Paxil gave me panic attacks and horrible nightmares. And lexapro gave me stomach cramps. Lol all because of some general anxiety over my husband working overseas. Then a few years later I had a scare when our son's appendix burst and was given the benzo ativan to take when needed. But I took it daily because that's how worried I was and after a few weeks I stopped it and wow the panic/anxiety. So they gave me the clonazapan for that anxiety. It did scare me taking it, but I joined benzobuddies.com and they helped me get off of it with no problems. After all of that I vowed never to take another SSRI/benzo, etc. EVER AGAIN!!! Until I woke up with T screaming in my head. I was lucky I had some clonazapan left over. My MD won't prescribe it. She gave me mirtazapine 15 mgs. back in July but haven't taken any yet. After 4 months my loud head t has quieted down alot and I am able to sleep thru the night. During the day my t is a mild hiss in my left ear and close to the time I go to bed I start hearing it in my head a little. Probably because I still have a little anxiety at night. I'm hoping it will eventually fade completely!

 

Sorry to hear that you had so much trouble, hope you get the relief you deserve soon.

I'm still a rookie at handling T, it was actually easier in the beginning because I thought it might go away, but that isn't happening, and now I'm very anxious. I'm using breathing exercises, which help a bit, and trying to keep busy with other things.

Good luck, hang in there.

 

@TheDanishGirl, sorry to read you are not doing so well. Read one of your posts a few weeks back where you said you were doing really good. I know you want off of those pills and I don't blame you, but like you said, you started on a high dose, so you can't rush off of them. The knot in chest and hyperventilating is withdrawal symptoms. Maybe a little slower taper would be better for you. You do not need to feel that way!! Not sure what you are cutting off, but maybe for example if you are cutting off .25 mgs every 2 weeks cut that down to half. Or cut 10 mgs. or 5 mgs. off every week and if you don't get any withdrawal symptoms, taking another 5 or 10 mgs. off the following week. Cutting a big dose off of your pills every two weeks and having withdrawal symptoms for the next week on top of tinnitus, I can understand your feelings. The first time I took clonozapan I was on 1 mg. for two months. My dr. then wanted me off in 3 wks. He said cut pill to .5 and two weeks later cut to .25 mgs. and 1 week later quit. I had terrible withdrawal symptoms after the 1st cut to .5. I went back to 1 mgs.and joined BenzoBuddies. 8 weeks later I was off the benzo by liquid titrating. Taking small doses out every day. So gradual I never had any withdrawal symptoms. I hope you start feeling better soon!