I Don’t Know What to Do Anymore: I'm Now in a Psychiatric Hospital and Tinnitus Is Crushing Me

@Vicki3116, so sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad. I think you are amazingly strong and sending much love your way xx

 

Hey, I’m doing ok I think, getting loads of rest and taking it a day at a time. I’m having a bit of time off work too. How are things with you? xxx

 

I just want to share how much I appreciate everyone sharing so much. It really helps even though it at times can be scary.

Thanks for being inspiring! You're a strong person and sharing the ebb and flow of emotions really helps others know they aren't alone.

 

Lol - I "think" I am doing okay too. I am going to try some ear-level white noise generators. Not sure what I will do with them exactly, but will give them a go. I have also ordered a little white noise machine for the evening. I don't want to go crazy with sound therapy, but perhaps it can have a therapeutic effect. Will also see if I can try an oral device for my sleep apnea as the CPAP machine has caused me some issues. I will see what the French doctor says tomorrow.

Happy that you are getting some rest. One day at a time indeed.

 

@Vicki3116, @Uklawyer, you might find this article useful. I think that hyperarousal is at the core of a lot of tinnitus experience.

Look After Yourself Properly and Your Tinnitus Will Take Care of Itself

 

Thanks @Peter Q. How are you doing with things?

 

@Uklawyer, I'm OK, thanks. My tinnitus tends to follow a fairly regular pattern. Two days of tinnitus followed by a quiet day.

 

Hey @Vicki3116, I hope you are still doing OK?

 

I am in full blown tears as I'm writing this, I'm almost 3 months in.

 

Welcome to the forum. The initial period is the toughest as the body is fighting this alien sound. Don't worry much. Things will most likely improve like many have done. Go read the success stories to give you hope.

I was overwhelmed initially too but now I am living a normal and enjoyable life, cruising and traveling. So learn from others how to get better and give it time.

Take good care. God bless.

 

I have read only the success stories of it going away mostly, some habituation stories too. I have two little ones that I homeschool and migraines on top of it. I took Accutane and with all of the side effects, I just haven't been the same since.

 

I went on two courses of Accutane when it was first released in August of 1983.

Although I did not experience any side effects, throughout the years I heard that its usage generated some controversy.

Can you believe that the bottle had a sideways silhouette of a pregnant woman contained within a black circle with a slashing line through the figure, and instead of realizing that it meant that you should not take this if you were pregnant, many young women inferred that it meant that taking this would be a form of birth control?

Why would you even think that you were getting birth control pills from a Dermatologist?

I am very interested in what your side effects consisted of, and how they appear to have permanently altered you in some way.

 

The last dose was October 24th, 2022, the migraines started November 7th, 2022 and tinnitus started November 20th, 2022. The migraines lasted about 70 days. It feels like Hulk squeezing my head, my whole face hurts and my neck feels broken. I still have been getting them but more like every couple of days with lower grade headaches in between. I have vision loss also. I think Accutane exacerbated my chronic muscle weakness and fatigue.

Weird thing is you took Accutane in the past and have tinnitus now...

 

Have you tried hearing aids? They have dramatically reduced my tinnitus. You will know within 10 minutes if they will help you or not.

 

Super to hear this.

 

Are you under a doctor's care? Do you have a supportive family? Please know it will lessen with time. It could take 12-18 months. You are not alone, we are many!

 

I guess you could say I am under a doctor's care. I have seen my primary, two ENTs, a psychiatrist, a neurologist, and a naturopath for the tinnitus. I believe it was caused by the drug Accutane that I really had no business being on honestly. I have a tremendous amount of support but it doesn't alleviate the depression and despair that I am currently feeling inside.

What will lessen, the tears?

 

I’m glad the Accutane conversation came up here. I took a single round back in fall of 1995. Only side effect I remember is an extremely dry face and lips that would bleed.

One of the first questions I asked the ENT I saw when tinnitus started was if Accutane could cause this. He barely acknowledged the question. I realize the connection is unlikely because there was 23 years between the med and tinnitus starting. I still can’t help wishing I had never taken it. I remember the silhouette of the pregnant woman with a red circle and line through it on every blister pack opening.

The timing of your symptoms in relation to the Accutane are certainly more suspect than mine.

Makes me continue to think about this though.

 

Reading this makes me sick to my stomach. Worst decision of my life.

 

Hi everyone, it’s been a while! Thought I’d stop by and see how everyone is doing.

I’m not really sure what to say about my own situation, just that somehow things continue to get easier. Of course my brain is still ringing but I’ve noticed that the choice to be bothered about that is mine. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it blows my mind that it’s been almost 3 years with this and I can feel the weight of it all crashing down on me, but then I think, if I can do 3 years, I can do today and tomorrow and the day after that. Other times I feel brand new and like none of it ever happened.

Either way, I just try my best with whatever I have to work with at the time. That’s the way life has always been. All we have is the here and now, and if my ears are ringing and I can’t immediately stop it (which I can’t), then my ears are ringing. Resistance is futile as I can’t control the sounds my body makes any more than I can the length of my legs or the colour of my skin, but I can accept it. Sure, it’s always there and I can’t experience silence, but then I’ll never run a 4 minute mile or be a billionaire or write a best-selling novel, but I don’t want all the things that I’ll never achieve to dictate my happiness because I’ll fail to achieve MANY more things than I’ll ever succeed at.

I love the quote ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ and I think it’s where a lot of us get stuck. We can’t help but compare life now to life before tinnitus and feel that it not only was better, but also that we’ve been robbed of a happy future, when it’s still within reach, it just doesn’t feel that way right now. Maybe it won’t for a long time to come, but everything is still possible.

Do what you need to get through the day, look after yourself and open your mind to the likelihood that this really isn’t going anywhere and one day, it won’t matter in the slightest.

Love to you all xxx

 

Thank you @Vicki3116 for posting this. This is what I really needed to read this morning as I wake up to the cacophony of what will turn out to be a loud, challenging day for me--and it's the first post I read today of all things! You have such a way of articulating your thoughts, and a positive outlook to your situation. I've come to accept my own experience, but some days, like today, I need a renewed resolve, so thanks for your post, it's just what I needed to hear today.

 

Hey! I’ve read through some of your posts on here and you yourself describe things in a wonderful way! I know what you mean about renewed resolve, some days feel like simply getting to the next moment of hope that occurs because everything both in and outside ourselves is a chaotic blur, but hope reigns supreme. Deep down we know that this is not the end of life because the will to continue is strong, and continue we do.

You’re going to get through today and it may very well be tough and you may have many more days like it in the future, but you’re also going to have many days where you experience a level of peace and connection to the world that you perhaps didn’t believe was possible any more.

Look after yourself today, it’s going to be alright again soon xx

 

Hey @Vicki3116, thanks for the response, and the compliment, that really means a lot

You're right, power through it we must, there's so much to live for. Today ended up being a busy day, with today being Mother's Day and all. The kids and I showered attention upon my wife.

Often, for me at least, it's the reaction that has more bite than the sound itself. Glad I had something to focus on other than just the sound. I hope you continue to have positive days, and thanks again

 

It's great to hear that you are coping so well. You have the right attitude. The most important factor is your realistic commitment to making the best of your situation, accepting things as they are, yet determined not to allow tinnitus and sounds to dominate your life. We are what we think and we have to be aware of what we are thinking and where those thoughts are taking us, for good or ill.

All my very best wishes to you for the future.

Peter