Relationship Issues Due to Tinnitus

My career has been permanently altered due to tinnitus. More recently my relationship with my girlfriend as been stressed on several occasions.

Starting a little backstory,
I damaged my ears at a loud rock concert (I bet this sounds all too familiar) and was deaf for 5 days. Like stone deaf, and insanely loud ringing. I thank God that on the second day I think it started getting better because I began to feel afraid, and I mean REAL afraid of what I might have done. On the 5th day it quieted down and I thought it was okay. Then in November of 2015 (8 months later) my ears, particularly my right one starting ringing. I was getting spikes, certain noises caused it to get worse immediately. It was hell. I was always protecting my ears, I cried at night with it, lived in constant fear. Grades dropped, gained weight, work went downhill, I didn't know how I would get out of this.

This is what brought me to this website, and to get to the point I was able to self-treat myself through methods provided by the community. Stress went down, anxiety gone, and happiness in life restored. It all began when I made a plan to reduce the ringing starting with diet and proper exercise. Soon sound therapy followed and I am thankful for all those who contribute to this site. Ears rang slightly still, or maybe even the same, but my emotions over it changed and I rarely knew it was there. Maybe once a month I'd recognize it in silence.

Jumping to 2017 when my career changed...

I was a Marine Corps Officer Candidate in June of 2017, I shipped to OCS and was there until tinnitus was triggered again. Not my Sergeant Instructor, but just some GySgt who worked the clothing depot shouted so loud in my right ear that a sharp pain went right through it. He also cupped his hands together about 4 inches from my ear. Immediately after was tinnitus. I instantly stopped caring about my training and all the anxiety, and fear that I experienced back in 2015 came back because tinnitus was back. The constant shouting didn't help either.

I went to the medical facility every morning and was turned away 4 times. 4 times I was told that "I was a waste of time." That is what the corpsman said. I couldn't focus with tinnitus in the classes or my training. I asked for ear plugs for when we fired our weapons, never got them even though I was promised them. On the fifth try going to sick call I was sent to an off base audiologist and was told my right ear's hearing was lower than the left. The doc told me to take as many ear plugs as I needed so that way I could protect my ears. I ended up dropping on my own anyway with the ringing not going away, preventing me from focusing, and unnecessarily causing me to lose sleep. Now, 5 months later, it has subsided a bit. My right ear rings all the time now though, it doesn't bother me usually but it's there and it made me quit something that I worked so hard for.

You could say I should have known there would be yelling... true, and I did. However we were also promised that we would never be physically punished and this is how I started to perceive treatment from this one marine only. He targeted people to do this too and I overheard other candidates complaining of tinnitus from this guy. I was supposed to be a pilot, I was never going to be surrounded by gunfire and even I were it never made sense to damage candidates ears necessarily. I respect the USMC but they have their flaws, and they lost a good candidate.

Relationship issues.

I always tell my girlfriend to protect her ears, and she for some reason gets annoyed with me over it. We were at her father's wedding in Mexico and I had managed to stay away from loud noises, but after the wedding party the group wanted to go to the club...probably the worst place possible for people with tinnitus or hyperacusis. We were there for 15 minetes and I am highly stressed from this environment and am sitting down with my fingers in my ears, looking like a fool in front of her family. I begged for us to leave. You might ask why didn't I just leave? I didn't want to leave her there in that noise because I knew she would damage her ears. So I stayed to try to get us to leave together as soon as possible. After 20 minutes we left, my ears rang, and I was very upset with her for not respecting tinnitus sufferer's and what we deal with. I assumed her ears rang, but she swore that they did not what so ever. Either she is lying to me about it, or I have a higher sensitivity to noise, which is very possible due to the damge. I try to make us avoid loud noises and protect our ears, we went to a club in Ireland and she got upset because I refused to go out without us both wearing ear plugs at the club. Things are just getting worse I feel, but my ears have been okay because I protect them, however she doesn't take it seriously and I can't seem to get her to understand the danger.

 

you did shoot weapons without ear plugs ? that alone can cause quickly more damage than guys shouting..depending on the type of ammo and shooting range setup of course

is that the way they do firing exercises in the USMC ? no protection at all ?

 

I am sorry to hear your misfortune with T but there are idiots everywhere.
Even the USMC has idiots who do stupid things like screaming in your ear. But gunfire without ear protection can be insanely loud.
You have earned your stripes as far as im concerned.
My T also put a strain on my girl but she has loved me unconditionally all through my bouts with the T and her support is neverending.
I wish you a little more relief than you've had and your girl needs to love you no matter what and stand by you.
Best of luck my brother.

 

It's a futile thing. You can tell all the people in the world. Protect your ears.

They always get annoyed/irritated. You get called an old man or a loser.

Trust me I have been in the same scenarios, same thing with relationship. People do not care and do not listen. You even play examples of tones/tinnitus and they still won't care/not get it. I mean, look at your treatment from the medical team with the USMC. "Waste of time".

Tinnitus is completely invisible.

Because they think it would never happen to them.

And then it does...........

 

It is very thoughtful of you, to try to get your gal to protect her ears. If she doesn't care, then it's not your job to fix this. Your main role is to protect YOUR ears and hearing, if she respects your wishes, then that is great. If she does not respect your wishes, then possibly find someone else. Tinnitus can get much louder, if the ears are not protected.

Take care

 

No protection at all. The weapons fired blanks too, apparently they are not as loud, but they are still real loud without protection. Although not as loud as regular ammo, we attached a Blank Firing Adapter to the rifle, this redirected noise of the blast directly to the user (me). My ears rang immediately, the right always worse than the left. I would put my finger in the right and fire for the exercises.

 

I should have left the club immediately, but part of me said I needed to get her out because I didn't want her to suffer like I had. The wrong thing to do, it's the protector in me.

 

Dont ever let people put you down with having tinnitus and hold your head up high and life will get better.
Love glynis x

 

I always carry plugs with me. Custom made are much better. Protect yourself and you'll be Ok.