Suicidal

Discussion in 'Support' started by jeremy06, Oct 14, 2018.

    1. Ed209

      Ed209 Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2015
      I have them every 6 months but it only takes the edge off rather than solving the problem. I may have to have surgery or a needle lavage. Something has to be done put it that way as cortisone isn’t the solution. I went to A&E in the hope they’d give me a shot but a friend told me that they wouldn’t give it to me. Even though I knew this, the pain became so unbearable that I felt compelled to do something other than writhe around in agony.

      I’ve gotta have a cystoscopy in 2 weeks. I’m not looking forward to that one!
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
    2. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      Yes, I read that in the long run it damages the joint...
      That's exactly what happened to me. I knew that before one could get a shot of cortisone, one had to take ibuprophen, but I didn't want to take it because it is ototoxic. In desperation I went to the ER, and the doctor was kind enough to give me the shot.

      In any case, I highly recommend that you try using an electric heating pad. It made a difference within 24 hours of me using it for 8 hours.

      Pete, it is likely that you too will be able to find something that helps with your chronic pain.
       
    3. Ed209

      Ed209 Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2015
      I agree. It’s shit but there is stuff you can do Pete, and you ultimately can’t let it get to you and demoralise you.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    4. Ed209

      Ed209 Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2015
      @PeteJ, how you feeling today?
       
      • Good Question Good Question x 1
    5. Agrajag364

      Agrajag364 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      You tried cannabis?
       
    6. Ed209

      Ed209 Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2015
      I can’t see how that would work for what I’ve got. On my X-Ray, it looks as though I have a bone within each supraspinatus tendon. When this flares up it locks the movement of my shoulder(s) and literally feels like my tendon is being sliced in half.

      Here’s the typical description it gets on medical sites:

      Calcific tendinitis of the shoulder, typically characterized by calcium deposits on the rotator cuff, is an extremely painful condition that can severely impair movement and life quality.

      This has been going on for a long time now and was the reason for my MRI a while back. There are ways of breaking up the calcium and removing it and that’s probably they’ll try and do next.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    7. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      In physical pain and loud high pitched tinnitus torture.
       
      • Hug Hug x 4
    8. Ed209

      Ed209 Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2015
      Hang in there. You are not suffering alone and have the support of many people here.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    9. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Some of what you said in your previous post resonated with me. I could relate to a minor extent but I don't know how you deal with all that.

      The chronic pain is semi recent (it hasn't been this bad since several years ago) and there is no cure either. I can't live with both conditions. I won't.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    10. Agrajag364

      Agrajag364 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      For short term management rather. Not my thing but tried it for a constant headache I used to have and surprised at effectiveness.
       
      • Like Like x 1
      • Helpful Helpful x 1
    11. Ed209

      Ed209 Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2015
      I’ve been dealing with difficult health issues since my teens. I now have a certain amount of resilience built in based on my experience of suffering. Everybody has their limits though and there are no heroes. I had multiple surgeries when I was younger to correct a chest defect and it nearly killed me. The amount of pain and suffering I went through simply cannot be summed up in a few paragraphs. I wanted to die back then but I now realise how wrong that decision would have been. Life can change for better or worse, but I know that we can come back from the worst hell imaginable because I’ve been there a few times. We cannot predict our future whilst under so much distress; it’s impossible. Our thoughts during these times are inherently catastrophic beyond our power. All we can do is try with all our strength to steady the ship until we regain some sense of control.

      Don’t fight alone. Reach out for help.

      You could try calling Samaritans. Talking to someone in real life may be more beneficial.
       
      • Winner Winner x 2
      • Agree Agree x 1
    12. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      The chronic pain is excruciating right now. I am reading up on how to commit suicide. My dr won't see me and I am offered to call tomorrow morning to see if I can be seen.

      I am only going to see if I can be prescribed a narcotic. There is no cure for the condition and like I said, it is chronic and became severe like this which lasted a year before it subsided.

      I AM NOT GOING THROUGH THAT AGAIN. I didn't have tinnitus back then.

      Currently, the pain plus tinnitus means I don't want to live. I can't believe this is happening.
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
    13. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I wasn't clear? There is no help. There is no cure.
      I was just fortunate that it eventually subsided enough. I thought about suicide then because of the pain. I was younger then and had more relatives/support and didn't have tinnitus back then.

      Now, I am older and those relatives have either passed away or have their own serious health problems.

      The chronic condition has no cure. I also can have ear pain because of whatever led to the tinnitus. I wish euthanasia was an option here. Everyone should have an option to end pain and suffering when there is nothing the health field can do.
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
    14. Candy

      Candy Member Benefactor Advocate

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unidentified
      When did your tinnitus start, was it February?
      Are you working? What do you do in the day?
      What type of pain are you in?
      Do you have maskers?
      How old are you?

      I’m trying to get a better picture... Pls don’t do anything drastic you need to give this some time.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    15. Agrajag364

      Agrajag364 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      I have that same feeling of unreality with having more than one horrible health problem.

      Like, what did we do to deserve this?

      But I did have chronic pain in the form of a chronic headache for two entire years and it suddenly went away. Life can surprise us sometimes. Even if conditions don’t go away, sometimes they improve. Not always obviously.
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
    16. jay777

      jay777 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      benzo/ headphones
      @PeteJ keep fighting bro.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    17. Ed209

      Ed209 Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2015
      @PeteJ, please reach out to people and talk about what you’re going through. It’s a lonely place to be but you are not alone and there is help out there. You could also try Lenire.
       
    18. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      It doesn't help. Even if I talk to the small network of people I have, they can't do anything.

      I am alone. It's no fault of anyone. It's just how it is.

      My tinnitus seems louder or a spike but I think that's just how it is.

      I want all this to end.
       
    19. annV
      Fine

      annV Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2005
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown - possibly hereditary
      It's probably just a spike...
       
    20. Elliott.S
      Doubtful

      Elliott.S Member

      Location:
      Paris, France
      Tinnitus Since:
      2006
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Music practice - Attending loud concerts
      Spikes can last for a very long time Pete, so try and not worry too much about it, no matter how stressful and intrusive those sounds can be.
      I've been through a huge spike for 2 months, nothing masks the different tones, it's blasting all day, every second, but I know spikes can take more than a year to go back to a more acceptable baseline. Or maybe the brain deals with it better, I don't know, but how you are feeling right now is not how you will be feeling in a few months, so try and give it time. Time does help. It doesn't cure, but it definitely helps a s**load
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    21. Christophe_85
      Alone

      Christophe_85 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Geneva, Switzerland
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not sure...
      Thanks for the information.

      But to me, this seems to be too good to be true, no ? :-/
       
    22. ChrisBoyMonkey

      ChrisBoyMonkey Member Podcast Patron

      Location:
      US
      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Not at all. It is true. Science is finally doing what it should've done decades ago. Finding real treatments for this b.s. disease.
       
      • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
    23. Christophe_85
      Alone

      Christophe_85 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Geneva, Switzerland
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not sure...
      Anything that can help you relax, just do it !

      Even the smallest thing...
       
    24. Christophe_85
      Alone

      Christophe_85 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Geneva, Switzerland
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not sure...
      I really hope so ! :)

      You know this is like a "disease" where no cure can be found... Because too deep into the brain...
       
      • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
    25. ChrisBoyMonkey

      ChrisBoyMonkey Member Podcast Patron

      Location:
      US
      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      I'd say it is a disease, and Dr. Susan Shore has said it too. She's one of the researchers at the very front of researching and creating treatments for the disease. Have you been following the Michigan device?
       
    26. Christophe_85
      Alone

      Christophe_85 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Geneva, Switzerland
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not sure...
      I was wondering how this kind of machine can cure something that is broken (ear nerve or anything else) without going indise the ear and restore it directly... ?

      And yes I heard about it and I voted for it (Michigan device) on their website, but to be honest I didn't even read because this is too technical for me and I don't speak and read English very well... :-/
       
    27. Hammers

      Hammers Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/19
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma: Too close to fireworks with no protection.
      Basically the nerves in your ears are activating at random without input and that causes the sounds of tinnitus. I think Lenire and Susan Shore's devices stimulate a nerve that shares a pathway with the nerves of the ear, which can stop those nerves from firing or the extra signals from reaching the brain. That's just how I see it, I'm not a doctor!
       
      • Informative Informative x 1
    28. ChrisBoyMonkey

      ChrisBoyMonkey Member Podcast Patron

      Location:
      US
      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Essentially what @Hammers said. The sounds are being caused by hyperactive cells in the brain. The electricity and sounds from the devices activate the nerves that lead to the brain in a specific way to stop the brain cells from being hyperactive and reduce the sound.
       
      • Informative Informative x 1
    29. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I wonder how many say that they have severe tinnitus and how many out of those commit suicide.

      This high pitched noise is at some really high frequency and changes little now if at all.

      It's almost painful in how loud and high pitched it is. If you know what I mean? There's a bunch of tones with the odd one 'pausing' for a second and then resuming. This isn't normal so if you explain it as the brain malfunctioning, ear/hearing damage, cochlear damage or all of the three, I just want it stop or at least be drastically reduced.

      I don't want to live like this anymore but I don't know how to do it. :(
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    30. Elliott.S
      Doubtful

      Elliott.S Member

      Location:
      Paris, France
      Tinnitus Since:
      2006
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Music practice - Attending loud concerts
      1) Give it time.

      2) If you're not ready to give it time, go to a doctor now.

      There comes a time when medication is the only option you have left to be able to bear the sounds. I know it, I've been there and I'm in a very bad situation myself righ now.

      If you believe you can manage the sound by yourself, then back to point 1: give it time, devices and cures are on their way.

      If you don't : benzos can help you.

      If you refuse both medication and patience, then what can I say ? T is a nightmare, yeah, but we're talking about our own body. We are the decision makers.

      Choose to act (meaning try all the available tools that can help you cope better) or to wait, but make a decision. Making decisions is always the thing to do when facing difficult situations, whether it means to wait or to take action. Staying in the middle, waiting for an answer to magically appear is a no-no.
       
      • Useful Useful x 1
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