Suicidal

Hi Pete,

We are all here for you! I have been away vacationing and taking some time off so I haven't been very active in the forum lately but I am back now.

I know it's hard for you to accept your current condition and you may not like to hear things like hang in there and things will get better. But I can tell you it is the truth. In time, either your Tinnitus fades or you actually habituate to it. Although I also am still not in that phase, deep down inside I still believe that day will come.

 

Yeah, I know you and the others mean well and I do appreciate it. But, I don't want to hang in there or just wait. It hasn't faded. It was fluctuating before April of this year and I was still struggling. It's worse since then.

I don't know why it got worse and I suppose it doesn't matter. But, I don't want to live like this. I have to wait so long for dr appointments but it's just a way to get through til I can figure out how to do it.

It's too loud and high pitched without any fading or positive changes. I don't want to live with it, okay?

 

Pete, if that's your choice in the end, I am with you too. Only Tinnitus sufferers knows what other sufferers are going through so I really do understand why you would want to do that. However, seeing as there are so many positive things happening in the world of Tinnitus lately (like Lenire, Susan Shore and hear cell regeneration technology), don't you think you want to see it through and try and see if any of those help?

 

No.

They are not available now. Lenire has negative evaluations. Just read the latest in the Lenire thread. Even the trial is strict for who is allowed to participate. I don't think it will help and the Shore device sounds like it's only specific to reactive tinnitus?

I don't think I can wait years. In fact, if mine doesn't improve on it's own soon, I won't be here by next year.

I don't want to die but if nothing changes, I don't want to live like this either and that will win out.

 

I think that's mostly people speculating. I too follow that thread closely and I do feel the general tone is that it may screen out certain types of patients and not provide treatment for them and that the device is only effective for people with mild to moderate tinnitus. But again, these are purely speculative.

However, read life usage results are not even out yet! From my understanding, only a few in here has just picked up the device a few days ago and just started the treatment. Therefore, the real usage report will not be available in a month or two...

 

And this too... Shall pass...

 

Thank you for the information, but per example my tinnitus increases with caffeine (Coffee, Coke and Chocolate) so do you think this Lenire could help me? Because my tinnitus is from Stress and Chronic Anxiety in addition to too much loud music with Headphones...

 

Many thanks for the info!

What about you? Is your tinnitus very loud?

 

Lenire reportedly works for 2/3 people regardless of the cause of tinnitus. Anyway I don't think caffeine gave you tinnitus. It was probably the loud music.

My tinnitus is pretty new but definitely loud. Gives me very bad insomnia. Noise induced.

 

No indeed this is not caffeine which brought tinnitus into my life, but definitely it can increase it quite strongly! I know I take too much caffeine these days... But I am always tired so I "need" it...

Sorry for you man, but you still have insomnia? I mean did you try anything for helping you sleep?

 

Yeah, I've still got the insomnia. I take 3mg melatonin just for the hell of it, doesn't actually do anything though. Ive kinda developed an attitude towards the tinnitus. I work in construction so it'll only get louder anyway, so I just do whatever I want, tinnitus be damned. My tinnitus has gotten a little louder, sucks, but let's be real it was always going to get louder. I'd rather ramp up the volume in this early stage rather than have it go up once I've already habituated.

To be honest I think many people here don't exercise their ears enough and that's why they get spikes from normal sounds and why their hyperacusis never gets better.

 

It is pretty loud. Now that I'm 3 months in, it feels a little quieter than when it started. Only this week it started feeling quieter and waking me up less. Two weeks ago, it was really bad, even more than the start, I barely slept. It seems to have calmed down a lot since then though. I've actually been sleeping okay this week. I hope it keeps getting better, even if it's slowly.

P.s. I use Bose Sleepbuds for sleep. I don't use bedside markers because I feel like I have to set them too loud to mask my tinnitus well, I have never been able to sleep with them well. The sleepbuds have been great though, and since only I can hear them it's not a bother at all for my wife.

 

Please, please get some curcumin and eat at least 3-4 grams with your dinner and see if that helps.

 

I am planning my suicide in the next 6 months, if not sooner.

I will buy a rope in the next few days.

 

What brand do you recommend? I am so lot in this field.

Please no, try Lenire first, please. Give it a chance.

 

https://www.iherb.com/pr/Jarrow-Formulas-Curcumin-95-500-mg-120-Veggie-Caps/13089

 

Eat a lot of it, like 6-10 of those pills at dinner time. Get some good sleep too. See how you feel the next day.

 

I'm looking forward to ending my suffering.

 

Lenire is only for a small group. They declined lots of people.

 

How do you know they would reject you?

 

Are you actively doing anything to try and heal yourself?

 

There is no way. No cure.

I have ear pain, jaw pain, my gums are bleeding and I have chronic pain that has intensified at times so I am assuming that is returning to when it was most painful. Most of these is a result of tinnitus, I am sure.

I would be crazy to keep living like this. Other people have taken their lives for less. I know some people live for their kids but I don't have any.

I wanted to care for my dog but I struggle with that now. I finally am telling myself the reality that I can't and I don't want to endure this suffering any longer. I am sure that I have one of the worst cases and severity of tinnitus so I don't want to deal with this anymore.

I only need to make sure any attempt doesn't cripple or disable me. That's my main concern at this point in time.

 

I have seen a few tinnitus sufferers on suicide forums. I would do all you can for some relief. I'm having a loud day myself. Maybe gabapentin plus clonazepam would help you?

http://www.tinnitusjournal.com/articles/gabapentin-and-tinnitus-relief.pdf

 

aren't you going to try the Neuromod thing?

 

No.

 

Please try everything what can affect NGF, TRKB/BDNF/NT-3 or IGF-1 like big doses of curcumin + piperine or big doses of CBD oil. Use this long term and don't give up. If the problem is the brain being hyperactive, neuromodulation will surely help this. There is a big probability that in many cases neuromodulation's effect will be permanent.

 

May I ask why?

 

I would rather recommend you something with piperine.

"For example, piperine is the major active component of black pepper and, when combined in a complex with curcumin, has been shown to increase bioavailability by 2000%. "
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5664031/

 

I tried the one with piperine and after some experimentation, I switched back to the straight curcumin one with some fatty food. Works like a charm.

 

Maybe you should try some ordinary Curcuma Longa (turmeric). I read somewhere that it could have some other effects than the version processed to Curcumine Extract.