Tinnitus Gone

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by norwaygirl, Mar 2, 2018.

    1. AUTHOR

      norwaygirl Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      September 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress/pressure/high volume on music
      Hi Virginia girl :) I can relate. I was on the floor crying as well, or limping around the living room, shaking with anxiousness and pulling at the curtain because I couldn't stand up. It was a constant realisation that I'd never get my life back. If you feel any hope at all after my story then that's more than I can say I felt during tinnitus, where nothing anyone did or said made me feel optimistic.

      I'm not sure why it goes up and down, blood pressure or god knows, but mine varied as well. It came in different loud/low tones and pitches. You can't forget about the sound, and you can't push it away. It exists, just like it always has (only not in your awareness) like all the other signals in your brain. The "job" is to force your focus onto other sounds. You will still hear the tinnitus because forcing your focus on something else is an extremely mental and strenuous task, and it will take the brain quite a while to create neuron pathways strong enough to manage to focus 100% on something else. Even when you start to manage it, it will only be for a few seconds at the time. With a continuous focus, despite failing and despite having days you will want to die, you'll create a strong enough focus for the brain to put tinnitus at a lower alarm level. Right now it is regarded as crucial for you to be made alert of. You have the capacity to inform/teach your brain to place its attention elsewhere, but you have to do it as much as you possibly can and you have to do it over and over again, no matter how long it takes.

      * To both deal with tinnitus AND working hard mentally to focus onto other sounds (be it a song or a train or whatever) will be very tiring. It will feel like you are never mentally relaxed, and lack of sleep doesn't help either. So remember that it will be hard times ahead. I put focus on a song some place once for instance, but still heard tinnitus through it. So don't feel the need to be optimistic. Quite contrary, you'll feel nothing is working, which isn't that strange since it seemingly isn't, so...

      * Once you successfully manage a few seconds here and there of laying the attention onto something else entirely, it will vanish as soon as it came - and you'll feel defeated because the tinnitus is still there. Besides, you didn't actually manage to hear silence, you only managed to shift focus onto another audible source. Baby steps.

      * After endlessly working on the shift of focus, the pathways will have grown solid enough for them to take over, meaning it has become an automatic response to tinnitus. It no longer needs to be forced by you. The shift of focus happens more and more 'of its own'. This is when silence appears, reading a book without the bout of anxiety that tinnitus is ever present, going for a walk to pick up groceries and not recalling until mid-trip that you were supposed to do focusing exercises.

      During bouts of silence or just in general realising, hey, I went a whole day without hearing the tinnitus today, will probably make it become audible again since the whole process is so fragile. The awareness of silence is awareness of tinnitus being absent --> which in itself will place your focus back to tinnitus. Again, shift focus. Don't worry, and I mean that! The pathways has no choice but growing stronger for every time you do it.

      A major, major thing is realising how vulnerable your mind is during this period. Anything can trigger back tinnitus during the first few months of feeling rid of it. It doesn't matter if it's triggered back, since it will be easier every time to shift focus like I wrote above, but it's still worth mentioning that you shouldn't google tinnitus or be in online forums. Remember also the significance of focus. The focus can't both be on No Tinnitus, as well as Tinnitus. You need to make a huge effort in eliminating negative stories that in entirity will cause you to spiral into the massive darkness that hopelessness is. I'm not saying you have to be happy or positive, I managed neither, but you do have to actively choose away tinnitus related things. I wasn't always successful with that myself, but I tried. The days were so lonely and horrible. I didn't manage to live life, and I had no other choice. 'Focusing exercises', as I call them, were new to me and I had no way to manouvre through them. It was touch and go, not an interesting experiment. It just had no end. It was crazy. The point is not to bring you down, but the exact opposite. You don't have to hope or pray or be one of the few lucky ones. You don't have to be strong. You can feel whatever you feel and you can give up every single day, that's OK. Desperation is a valuable force with huge power. I so understand what you're going through. I get every word. I wish someone could've held my hand and told me it'll be fine but it was no one (or if someone did, I didn't believe them), so I'll mentally reach out to hold yours if that can help for anything. <3
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