Tinnitus Poems & Writings

“Tinnitus” by ATA member Lisa Halpern:

Panic. A sound that lodges in my ear.
A stranger in my house who won’t go away.
Some transient guest? Not so, I fear.
This irritating boarder is here to stay.
Shall I compare thee to a manic violin?
A constant noise pollutant? Raspy hissing?
Where deep inside, a thief has broken in
and taken the quiet, blessed solitude is missing.
The whistling phantom doesn’t seem to know
how to end this cruel, embedded joke.
I can’t stop listening but finally just let go
of tragedy’s mask. It drifts away, like smoke.​

 

Tinnitus, a frightening word for some,
wake up - and go crying to mum,
in the dark of night, buzz, buzz, ring, ring,
that's what tinnitus likes to sing.

But in the busy day,
Tinnitus seems to stay away,
talk, talk,
walk, walk.

In the moments when your alone,
Tinnitus comes off pospone,
and he comes to you,
your worried mind thinks what to do?

Tinnitus comes and goes,
comes and goes,
but - Tinnitus is never gone,
not for sure and not for long.

Tinnitus is now a friend of mine,
me and him like to pass the time,
his monotonic ring,
is his favorite song to sing.

So listen out for him,
he's always looking for a new victim!

By Angus Smith

 

Nine Inch Nails - Still - The Becoming

I beat my machine it's a part of me it's inside of me
I'm stuck in this dream it's changing me i am becoming
The me that you know had some second thoughts
He's covered with scabs and he is broken and sore
The me that you know doesn't come around much
That part of me isn't here anymore
All pain disappears it's the nature of my circuitry
Drowns out all i hear there's no escape from this my new consciousness
That me that you know used to have feelings
But the blood has stopped pumping and he's left to decay
The me that you know is now made up of wires
And even when i'm right with you i'm so far away
I can try to get away but i've strapped myself in
I can try to scratch away the sound in my ears
I can see it killing away all my bad parts
I don't want to listen but it's all too clear
Hiding backwards inside of me i feel so unafraid
Annie, hold a little tighter i might just slip away
It won't give up it wants me dead
Goddamn this noise inside my head

I've always been a big fan of Nine Inch Nails, and Trent Reznor is an outspoken sufferer of T.

Nine Inch Nails - Something I can never have...

This is another video where Trent references his Tinnitus:

"I still recall the taste of your tears, echoing your voice, just like the ringing in my ears."

I love it. Although I wouldn't recommend listening to some of this stuff very often if you're dealing with Tinnitus, it can be completely depressing.

 

I grabbed some drumsticks way back when
I turned the headphones up to ten
I knew I would be famous soon
Beating all the parts to every tune

When I was twelve, like other boys
I bought some amps and ditched my toys
We played at dances to impress the girls
And here my story now unfurls

To hear the organ, guitar, and bass
I aimed two speakers at my face
One on the right, one on the left
Our parents said we'd all go deaf

And not to mention marching band
Shiny trombone in my hand
I couldn't hear over the drums so well
Beating like the hammers of hell

And all the concerts I'd go to see
Five dollars, it was almost free
Aerosmith and Rush and Kiss
Supersonic volume bliss

The seventies, now winding down
A new sound had appeared in town
We beat the poly disco crowd
Our Marshall amps were twice as loud

And as my rockin' years rolled by
A sound appeared just like a fly
My only early warning sign
Of things to come (that doesn't ryhme)

Electric blues would take a toll
On my old poor cochlear soul
At 39 I was all washed up
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck
(ya I stole that line)

Looking back now it appears
Had I stuffed cotton in my ears
Or turned it down like the old folks said
Today I'd have a silent head

But here I am, it ain't so fun
I keep my laptop down on one
With every sound my eardrums jump
And squeal and hiss and screech and thump

My doctor told me years ago
You did this to yourself, you know
From now on just be on your guard
And let's see that insurance card

So here I sit, all broken hearted
My silent days have all departed
I want to mask or habituate
But we play tonight, I can't be late.

- I Who Love Music

 

Very well written, WOW!!! you do love music ... i like music, but i've never been to a concert or played an instrument just the usual discos and nightclubs in my younger days and i have ended up with t, and a very miserable life ... i'm glad you still are able to enjoy your passion of music albeit at a quieter level.

 

Awsome!!!! Thats just awsome

 

This is a poem by Murial I think you will like to read off the BTA forum.

HAVE NO TIME FOR TINNITUS

I have no time for Tinnitus, for I'm as busy as a bee

living life to the full, like a bird that's been set free.

You came into my life and left me in such a mess

until I realised that paying you attention was heightening my stress.

So I will suppress you, compress you and ignore you, until you set me free

for there is one thing you can be sure of, you will not feast on me.



I have no time for Tinnitus. I refuse to let you intervene

and strongly refute that you'll prevent me from being the person I've always been.

Though we'll always be together - I fully understand,

but be sure of one thing - that I will not allow you to take the upper hand!

There is life after Tinnitus, while as yet no cure has been found -

if we manage our condition and remain positive, we can turn our lives around.

Like the soldier back from battle, the war has left him lame.

He picks up the pieces and goes forward, so we must do the same.



I have no time for Tinnitus, so I'll ignore you all I can.

You are very prevalent and the blight of many a man.

We must always remember that life is for living.

Tho' events can beset us which are quite unforgiving.

So we must stay with the moment and never look back,

keep the present in mind so that we remain on track.

The future is for tomorrow - the past already gone.

So Tinnitus sufferers everywhere let us each and every one -

state, that we have no time for Tinnitus, with one united voice

for if we grasp the help that's out there, then we do have a choice.

Finally, our message to Tinnitus - to leave you in no doubt

that our aim will always be - to try and stamp you out!

Muriel

 

Having lain awake for half the night last night this popped into my head. Just wondered if others might have put their T troubles into rhymes. Though I'm useless at rhymes, I think writing them can help think things through. Anyhow, hope others will add theirs to this thread.

Like three furies in the night
They take in turns without respite
To shout in my ears
And rattle my head
And fill me with fear
When its time for bed.

 

Hi, Barnacle. Check out this thread on crowdsourcing a book of poems about tinnitus. I haven't got the procedure down yet as far as creating the book, but when the time comes, I'll give a shout out to everyone who wants to contribute. It will probably be another month before I can start on it.

I like your poem, so find an image to go along with it. I'm going to recommend that everyone find their image on canstockphoto.com, in a horizontal format. I have an account with them and can purchase a subscription so members of TT can simply tell me which image and I'll buy it. There are plenty of images online, but it's best to keep things simple, and this way the image will be royalty free and less expensive.

 

Hi Cheza
That sounds like a great idea. Will help out if I can. I use to work in campaigning and so know a little bit about getting media publicity and that kind of thing. Though havent done that sort of work for a year or two now.
But maybe I can at some stage have a bash at writing a proper poem for your book, as the one above was just off the top of me head and I suspect that people who know about these things will say that it doesnt even scan! Would also be nice to do a more nuanced one, trying to capture the heartache and fear but also the hoping and coping.
Best wishes
Barnacle

 

That would be a big help. I'll be selling it as an ebook on Amazon, and also in print using their CreateSpace option. It isn't difficult to do, it's a matter of understanding how to place everything on the book(s). Kindle uses a different format than CreateSpace.

Right now I'm working on my own book about tinnitus, and have anywhere from 50 to 60 pages to go. Then I'll have to format it for Kindle and CreateSpace. Lots of research, and I'm editing as I write, so I'm lucky to get 4 pages done a day.

 

Hi Sorry for delay getting back. Have developed new sound and can now hear T outdoors while walking in woods. So am not feeling 100%. Anyhows, your book sounds great. I look forward to reading it. And 4 pages a day is fine I think. Means about a chapter a week.
B

 

Oh Blessed Silence,
How I yearn for thee,
To return and cast away,
This eternal cacophany,

Once quiet rest,
Long buried in memory.
Unwelcome guest
From whom
the mind can never flee

Beat against the wall
As you may,
But this tenant will continue to stay
Forgotten though once it may be,
it will return triumphantly
What committed sin,
Sentenced us to this decree?

The night brings respite,
Nightmare but relief,
The day you will suffer,
Try as you might.

For the morning brings the tone,
KEEEHEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! in your head,
The devil's mocking laugh,
Time to get out of bed!

A cure there is not,
"Fucked" is your lot,
A prayer won't bring dissapation,
A smile your only emancipation.
So live life full and jolly,
'Lest you be drawn into the folly,
Of tears and pain and hate,
For never is it too late-

To realize your aspirations,
To rapture in all sensations,
To mend all others in harm,
And fill your heart in a woman's arms.
To quell the ringing in your skull,
And bring it to an irkless lull,
With raging vengeance stand and fight!
And seek the joys saught in the light!

Fail not and let the hissing win,
Your life once more you must begin.

 

Sing “Hale Hale” to the times we dream
When T is not around
To spoil everything
Sing “Hale Hale” to pushing tinnitus aside
Forget that it’s a pest!
And laugh until we cry

Cheers, TinA#oct

 

I love this, @TinA#7oct!

 

Thank you Emmalee, This is the chorus to “T takes the rap”. I just learned about the “ writing and poem” section today. Their are some great writers here. Take care and have a wonderful day. TinA#7oct

 

Tinnitus my salient foe
You bring me sadness and woes
Sometimes there’s a quiver of fear
When you mask what I need to here

Music demands silence you see
There’s no room for you here my T
Always wanting to tag along
When I’m trying to write a song

So since you will not disappear
I guess I’ll have to keep you here
Include you now in songs I write
And hope the tune will be alright

And surely enough there you are
Singing as if you were a star
My salient T note of A
For once you were useful today

@TinA#7oct

 

Tinnitus For Life

I awoke one night to a strange sound,
So I got up and looked around
But realised as I went back to bed
The noise was coming from inside my head.


Couldn’t get back to sleep that night,
Went to work not feeling quite right.
Kept hearing this horrible pitch in my ear
But hoped it would soon disappear.


Days went by and I started to fear
This noise would soon be all I could hear.
Tired, anxious and feeling distressed
I took time off work to try and rest.


I wanted a cure, so searched on the web,
I tried potions, pills and everything I’d read.
The doctors tried to do some good
And I carried on as best I could.


But often as I would wrestle in my bed,
Dark thoughts would enter my tormented head.
I knew they would leave me by the morn
But still I would wake feeling broken and torn.


This noise, though harmless, was ruining my health.
I’d gaze out my window wishing I were someone else.
But somehow I had to get through all this pain,
Life is still precious and there must be some gain.


Things got a bit easier as time passed
But of painful days I had not seen the last.
Ups and downs would now be the norm,
Yet there is always a way through every storm.


Years went by and still no cure
But somehow I’d learnt a way to endure.
God is still good and this noise made me stronger,
For it to go, I prayed no longer.


Like most other folk in my neighbourhood
I now carry on and life is good.
But wait “I think it’s gone” I cry,
Yes, finally it has and so have I!

A poem by Tweaker

 

Great poem Tweaker, TinA#7oct

 

@TinA#7oct & @Tweaker

You are two very talented individuals, please keep writing and posting. I wish I had the ability to write the way you both do, it is not something that comes so natural to me. I am a lover of poems and quotes, any kind of written words that come from the soul, actually.

 

Emmalee, thank you again! Becuause you write from your soul, the words you speak, don't have to rhyme. Words from the heart are always poetic, and your gift of words make you shine.
It's my pulsating tinnitus that brings out the poet in me. Some one once said "When when loose your talents from injury or disease, you may discover new talents you never thought were possible". I have learned, the difference between possible and impossible, is the measure of ones will, and willpower comes from faith, hope, love and "The Positivity Thread". So bless you for helping people here to stay positive. Thank You again TinA#7oct

 

Emmalee , I rewrote the poem

Tinnitus my salient foe
You brought to me sadness and woe
Sometime a rare quiver of fear
For you dull everything I hear

Music demands silence you see
There's no room for ringing of T
Always wanting to tag along
When I'm trying to write a song

So since you will not disappear
I guess I'll have to keep you here
Include you in melody
A risky possibility

And surely enough there you are
Singing as if you were a star
My salient T note of A
You are my foe but not today
TinA#7oct

Emmalee, I hope this is better
Thanks again, TinA#7oct

 

Good to read yours too. Writing poems is a bit rare these days.

 

I love to write children's poems and stories. Finding a publisher is my dream. So far I have read out my childrens poems in a local school assembly as the headmaster really liked them. The children acted out one of them. So I guess there is hope. Always good to have a dream to hold onto, especially with this horrible condition.