Tips for Internal Habituation?

I developed tinnitus in early January, for no apparent reason. I've done all the tests and seen all the doctors and the outcome is basically 'we're sorry but there's not much to be done unless it goes away on its own'. I've had and continue to have some pretty dark days with it (especially as it has combined with a very high stress time in my life), but overall I feel like I am habituation at a reasonable pace. I should note here that my tinnitus does not respond to masking, any kind of background noise just seems to 'backlight' the ringing. The only real solution for me seems to be not thinking about it/distracting my mind from it, which I am learning to do overall.

There is one big thing I'm struggling with, though, and so far I have not been able to find any suggestions to address this. Basically, I'm an introvert and a writer, which means I want to spend large amount of time in my own head, plotting out stories and feeling the emotions of the characters before putting them onto paper. The tinnitus seems to get in the way of that. So long as I am interacting with the outside world, or on my own just thinking about something outside myself, I'm okay and either forget about the sound or am not especially bothered by it, but as soon as I try to sort of withdraw from the real world to let the characters do their stuff, the tinnitus seems to get in the way and it doesn't work.

I feel like this is at least in part because when I first got tinnitus, I tried to use this as a coping mechanism/mental escape, but failed because it spiked every time I felt a strong emotion, which I frequently do in that state. That would snap me out of it and as a result I now feel an anxiety attached to the whole process. It really upsets me, because being able to tell stories like that means so much to me both personally and professionally, and I feel like I've lost access to a huge part of myself. On the other hand, I do feel it myself be possible to overcome this, given that I was previously able to do this in all kind of settings which were much noisier than the tinnitus. I'm wondering if there's maybe a meditation technique or something I could try?

 

@Jiktten ,
Tinnitus can hinder concentration and I know that will be hard for you trying to get in to character for your books.
I think relaxation and meditation will help you and maybe getting use to a back ground sound might help and building up your concentration again 10-20-30 minutes etc.
Apart from having your ears checked and hearng checked and getting the all clear then time will tell if your tinnitus goes.
Emotions can have a wobble at times but will improve as you find out how your tinnitus journey goes eg in one ear or both or head and sound and strength and spikes.
Stay positive and take each day as it comes and go at your own pace and off load stress.
Love glynis x

 

What about incorporating a character with tinnitus into a story? You could really write from experience with this knowledge. And perhaps the tinnitus would have a purpose rather than hindering your writing?

Good question for me it took a lot of time. I used different methods like guided meditation and hypnosis. It sort of helped make me think of the noise in my brain like any other outside noise. A car driving by. A trash truck. It works sometimes as a mental buffer.

 

Yes, it's difficult to do but I am learning to meditate not on my beathing, which is probably the most common way to do it, but by focusing on the tinnitus sound itself. The will eventually deactivate the emotional reactions to tinnitus, which is how habituation develops.

 

Thanks all, I like the meditation ideas. Does anyone have any particular techniques or guides they can recommend?

I have to admit that I'm feeling a bit hopeless tonight. This afternoon I started reading a book which unexpectedly inspired the strongest emotional reactions I've had since I developed tinnitus and I... somehow couldn't fully feel them? It wasn't an anxiety reaction so much as it felt like there was a wall of sound between me and the emotion, I could feel it but I couldn't fully relax into it, if that makes sense? I'm trying to persuade myself not to get too worried, since apart from the tinnitus I am also dealing with a really nasty cold, the first day of my period (always my least creative/most easily frustrated day), plus I read the whole book in one sitting, which generally means I am pretty zoned by the end, but even so, that feeling of being blocked out of my own emotional reaction is really scary.

I think I probably need to speak to a therapist, but it'll probably be a few weeks before I can get an appointment, so any suggestions or advice in the meantime would be very much appreciated (please?).

 

Take it slow, and be sure to use sound masking while meditating with tinnitus, at least in the beginning.