MemberTinnitus is a'Trojan Horse.'
When it first appeared on my horizon I recognised it, and disliked it immediately.
I knew it was a foe.
I took it seriously, tried acupuncture, and other nonsense like that, but found it quite useless.
(He put a prick in my ear - so how was that supposed to help?)
Some twenty years later the approaching enemy rumbled ever closer until stealthily it crossed the drawbridge into my consciousness, ensconcing itself in my head, and in my life.
It proved to be the epitomy of the internal saboteur.
It took a wrecking ball to my life, destroying my jazz career of over fifty years, my artistry, my skill, my music, my very way of life.
I won't go on about that too much - every one of us 'severe' suferrers has lost far too much to describe.
Unlike many on here, I flatly refuse to see this entity, this 'effing' scumbag, as my little friend, a travelling companion on life's road, who merely accompanies my journey.
I am a realist - remember - always attempting to put my logic before my wishful thinking.
Miracles went out with fairy-stories, making me an agnostic, on the grounds that nobody actually 'knows' nor can know.
All of that 'religious' stuff is a total enigma, and will remain so to me, however much time and effort I might spend on it, unless of course, I choose to employ a large chunk of ethereal imagination.
But one thing I have discovered.
Just like the bully in the school playground who, for no apparent reason bloodied our nose, or the seemingly good friend, who put us down behind our back, or the vile tenant who wrecked our trust and our property, even though we had shown them nothing but kindness; we have to try to come past these experiences, put them behind us, and go on living without dwelling on such hateful times.
With Tinnitus this is a very tall order.
Rather like the guy who wrote up the 'Back to Silence' method, I have found that my attitude to "T" improves if I recognise that my feelings about it are not necessarily stuck in the same dismal rut of hate - hate - HATE !!
My feelings vary.
Sometimes:
I hear it - I hate it,
I hear it - I want to die,
I hear it - I'm coping,
I hear it - so what,
I hear it - I'm okay.
Daily meditation - just a posh word for relaxation - helps me to feel more at ease:
A lot of the time, I hear it - I'm okay.
Dave x
When it first appeared on my horizon I recognised it, and disliked it immediately.
I knew it was a foe.
I took it seriously, tried acupuncture, and other nonsense like that, but found it quite useless.
(He put a prick in my ear - so how was that supposed to help?)
Some twenty years later the approaching enemy rumbled ever closer until stealthily it crossed the drawbridge into my consciousness, ensconcing itself in my head, and in my life.
It proved to be the epitomy of the internal saboteur.
It took a wrecking ball to my life, destroying my jazz career of over fifty years, my artistry, my skill, my music, my very way of life.
I won't go on about that too much - every one of us 'severe' suferrers has lost far too much to describe.
Unlike many on here, I flatly refuse to see this entity, this 'effing' scumbag, as my little friend, a travelling companion on life's road, who merely accompanies my journey.
I am a realist - remember - always attempting to put my logic before my wishful thinking.
Miracles went out with fairy-stories, making me an agnostic, on the grounds that nobody actually 'knows' nor can know.
All of that 'religious' stuff is a total enigma, and will remain so to me, however much time and effort I might spend on it, unless of course, I choose to employ a large chunk of ethereal imagination.
But one thing I have discovered.
Just like the bully in the school playground who, for no apparent reason bloodied our nose, or the seemingly good friend, who put us down behind our back, or the vile tenant who wrecked our trust and our property, even though we had shown them nothing but kindness; we have to try to come past these experiences, put them behind us, and go on living without dwelling on such hateful times.
With Tinnitus this is a very tall order.
Rather like the guy who wrote up the 'Back to Silence' method, I have found that my attitude to "T" improves if I recognise that my feelings about it are not necessarily stuck in the same dismal rut of hate - hate - HATE !!
My feelings vary.
Sometimes:
I hear it - I hate it,
I hear it - I want to die,
I hear it - I'm coping,
I hear it - so what,
I hear it - I'm okay.
Daily meditation - just a posh word for relaxation - helps me to feel more at ease:
A lot of the time, I hear it - I'm okay.
Dave x
