Who Is Your Main Source of Support with Tinnitus?

Discussion in 'Support' started by Orions Pain, Feb 17, 2020.

    1. Orions Pain
      Surrender

      Orions Pain Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise damage
      I’m a single female and an only child. I am blessed to have an amazing mother who provides me limitless support with this condition. I have a great dad too but emotionally, we’ve never been close. He’s a tough old school guy who would do anything for me but he’s not the person I call when I’m upset.

      My friends have been fairly supportive but they don’t understand the extent of my suffering. Some of my coworkers know about my tinnitus (and some also have it) but none suffer with any noise sensitivities so they can’t relate too much.

      What I’m interested in seeing is who provides you with your support in these tough times? Do you think you’re receiving the support you need to cope?
      Anyone here benefit from therapy at all or is it a waste of time and money?
       
      • Hug Hug x 4
    2. Mathew Gould

      Mathew Gould Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      6/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Neck/Jaw misalignment
      Waste of money. I once paid for therapy for tinnitus and the lady was an insensitive ass and I left in the beginning. It's like I was over reacting to my condition. She had no clue how bad I was at the time and didn't care.
       
      • Helpful Helpful x 1
    3. aot
      Dramaqueen

      aot Member

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      2016. Worsened 11/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Probably sound induced.
      I got a therapist to help deal with the anxiety caused by my tinnitus and visual snow. I've only seen her a few times thus far, but so far she has been both kind and understanding. My family thought I was blowing it of proportion at first, but they're slowly coming around. I'm sorry to hear that you're having so much trouble.

      Keep in mind that while I likely have a touch of Phonophobia, I don't have Hyperacusis. My therapist also has tinnitus due to Meniere's Disease, so she's been there, I guess. Not all therapists are the same. Just because one sucks doesn't guarantee the others will.

      You're stronger than you think you are. Two weeks into my worsened tinnitus I wrote a suicide note "Just in case." That note is now nonexistent because I tore it up and flushed it down the drain. I know how bad it can get.
       
      • Hug Hug x 5
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    4. Tweedleman
      Depressed

      Tweedleman Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2001
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown/Noise
      My parents. I love them both more than words can describe. I fear losing them more than my tinnitus getting worse. Without them I would be totally alone.
       
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    5. Yuuls
      Dreaming

      Yuuls Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      @aot

      How did you manage to find a psychiatrist who also has tinnitus?
       
      • Good Question Good Question x 2
    6. Lilah
      Bashful

      Lilah Member Benefactor

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      @Orions Pain

      Same here. Single female/only child. My mom has been very supportive while my dad tried to comfort me by saying there are worse things than tinnitus, etc. Two of my coworkers know about my tinnitus and they have been supportive. I go to church regularly and my pastor and friends there were really supportive but there is not much they can do either. I did go for bi-weekly (medical/secular) therapy for a year but kind of stopped now. I live away from family so I needed face to face therapy. My therapist decided I was ready to taper off therapy towards the end of the year. With my therapist, we talked about improving my sleep, CBT related responses to fear, managing work and social life expectations, saying "no" more at work, taking baby steps with things I used to do, etc. I also met with a Christian counselor (friend of a friend) several times over lunch/dinner and that was helpful too.

      Right now, even though my tinnitus has not improved (my tinnitus is loud, measured at 28db MML by audiologist), I am doing a lot of things I used to do. Work keeps me busy and I'm also busy with a few other activities. I try not to talk about tinnitus with my mom or anyone else (there is not much they can do).
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    7. Darryl Colebank
      Depressed

      Darryl Colebank Member

      Location:
      Flagstaff, AZ
      Tinnitus Since:
      6/1/19
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown--depression? Hyperacusis and tinnitus
      hi @Orions Pain

      I see a therapist once a week. My coworker is very supportive. My parents are deceased and my one brother lives 1,500 miles away.

      My best friend is very sympathetic. I don’t reach out in crisis or much at all because I am so miserable and don’t have anything good to say


      I have hyperacusis, tinnitus that comes on response to sounds and tinnitus.

      My therapist is helping me learn to be compassionate with myself.

      I am working to support myself emotionally. Love myself unconditionally. And not judge and use harsh words regarding this issue. I do deep breathing exercises and guided relaxation exercises.

      My therapist does not have tinnitus or hyperacusis, but I get the impression she has had severe struggles with something and knows pain. I like her a lot. Other therapists I have had would not have been as helpful with this struggle.

      Darryl
       
      • Hug Hug x 4
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    8. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Orions Pain
      Surrender

      Orions Pain Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise damage
      Hi Darryl. I like that dog in your picture :)
      I am happy you have found success with finding a good therapist

      Just like most MD’s, I feel like most psychiatrists are just rich kids who were forced into the procession by their parents for the $$ motive and don’t actually care about helping. I realize I might just be jaded from my own experiences with MD’s over these last few years. But I feel like finding a therapist who has first hand experience with some sort of trauma is good. Yeah they’re mostly there to talk to you and give you coping tips, but I find that you can just TELL when a doctor cares about you and it makes a huge difference in your experience.
       
    9. Darryl Colebank
      Depressed

      Darryl Colebank Member

      Location:
      Flagstaff, AZ
      Tinnitus Since:
      6/1/19
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown--depression? Hyperacusis and tinnitus
      I feel a lot of compassion for others who suffer with this affliction.
      Somehow when the tinnitus isn’t as bad I can laugh at it, but when it is bad I sob at times, like this evening.
      I feel very isolated. My dog Winston is most of my emotional support.
       
      • Hug Hug x 6
    10. FGG
      No Mood

      FGG Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Hall of Fame Advocate

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Multi-factorial
      It's been really rough. My husband left me soon after my ear issues and my mother is far away and doesn't really get it. She says things like "at least you can walk!" when I try to express my grief. Though I think it might be starting to sink in more but it's not something she wants to truly deal with. I do have a good friend that has sent me--conservatively--about 40 cards and packages. She is literally a saint despite having her own trying life circumstance issues. She lives very far from me, unfortunately, though.

      In my case, support came from the oddest of places. I met a stranger from a time zone away (on reddit of all places) and through sharing of our own struggles (he has quite a few health issues of his own unrelated to what I deal with), we became close friends quickly.

      I had been dealing with everything almost completely alone until he offered to "get in the trenches" with me and help when he realized how broken I was/am. And he meant it and actually did. Eventually, he moved here to start a business with me that we can manage together with our different physical short comings. We couldn't possibly be more different in every single way but we have great empathy for each other. I told him recently he saved my life and I know he did.
       
      • Hug Hug x 9
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    11. Christopher805

      Christopher805 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      May 2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Neomycin
      My wife and son are my support.
      My faith.

      I am still trying to find a therapist that gets it. Just don’t throw me a book and say do the exercises and we’ll talk next week.
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
    12. Eloy Resendez Jr

      Eloy Resendez Jr Member

      Location:
      Texas
      Tinnitus Since:
      2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Minor hearing loss (twice)
      My mom is my hero, she is currently fighting cancer and seems more concerned about me than what she’s going through. That in it self is what gives me strength. Puts things in perspective. This thing we’re going through can bring you to your knees, but for me with Gods strength I know I’ll eventually get to where I need to be, I’ve done it once (2015) so I know I can do it again (had a spike Dec 2019). You can get there as well. Easier said than done but try and adapt to it, and always enjoy your little victories. Yes, there may be a bad day after a good day, but don’t disregard that, a good day is a good day. God bless.
       
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    13. fishbone
      Shitfaced

      fishbone Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1988
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud noise and very bad sickness
      You are a good soul! Keep paying it forward. I firmly believe in doing this.
       
      • Agree Agree x 3
    14. Christopher805

      Christopher805 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      May 2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Neomycin
      I am sorry your mom is battling cancer. Despite her condition she’s more concern for you. Wow that’s a wonderful mom. I’ve had tinnitus and hyperacusis for 9 months. The last two days have been the first good days since acquiring these conditions. However, today has been bad. It’s a hard emotional contrast from the past 2 days. I’m trying to be thankful for those 2 days. God is the answer. With him all things are possible. Be Blessed.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
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    15. astaff14

      astaff14 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Earwax/Botched Irrigation/Noise Trauma
      Hey, I’ve seen your posts lately and I just wanted to say I’m so sorry you’ve been having such a terrible time with coping with this horror. Tinnitus is really life-robbing in so many ways, especially when accompanied by hyperacusis.
      I’m glad you get some support with this at least, we all need at least one person to support us unconditionally with tinnitus I feel.

      for me, my boyfriend, my mom and a good few of my coworkers have been my main support. Any time anyone at work accidentally does something loud, they immediately apologize and ask me if I’m okay, and my boyfriend and mom have for the most part been amazing to me. It really helps. And now a lot of people in my life understand how detrimental heating problems can be, so I get to spread awareness and that makes me happy too.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    16. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Orions Pain
      Surrender

      Orions Pain Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise damage
      This is helpful, I’m sorry you had to experience that : (
       
    17. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Orions Pain
      Surrender

      Orions Pain Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise damage
      I am the same way
      Winston is very fitting :)
       
    18. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Orions Pain
      Surrender

      Orions Pain Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise damage
      Wow! A mother’s love is truely everything. I don’t think I’d be here today without the support of mine. I hope both you and your mom are granted the strength to get through these hard times.
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
    19. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Orions Pain
      Surrender

      Orions Pain Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise damage
      I am so sorry you’ve had to deal with all of that. It’s really heartbreaking reading these kinds of stories but at the same time is a reminder of how amazing the Internet really is and how lucky we are to be able to find support in the most surprising places.

      Sometimes all it takes is one person’s kindness.

      This forum has been a life saver over these last few months.
       
      • Agree Agree x 2
    20. Christopher805

      Christopher805 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      May 2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Neomycin
      Pathetic. But I had the same experience. I was in bad shape. First visit with therapist, she ask what I am listening to on my phone. I said phone app of nature sounds to help deal with ring. She ask for phone. She listening and says THAT WOULD DRIVE ME CRAZY. I am not a violent man but I wanted to choke her. She crumbled my world. The nature sound was my life jacket at that time. Needless to say NO second visit. Pathetic.
       
    21. Dhaych

      Dhaych Member

      Location:
      Cork, Ireland
      Tinnitus Since:
      2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced - musician
      My wife.
      My kids.
      My guitar.
      My band.
      My hobbies.
      Most of all my brain... It's powerful and it's what is manifesting our lovely noise, so I try to train it to make the noise secondary to everything else. Sounds mad, but I say things in my head that nullify it like "noise is there but it's ok, I'm living, I'm not blind, physically disabled, I don't have a disease, it's a symptom"... Things like that which help me.. .here's the word "habituate" to it. Also yoga & exercise... brainy wainy loves exercise.
       
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    22. bobvann
      Devilish

      bobvann Member

      Location:
      Inside the vortex
      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      E drums headphones
      @Dhaych be happy you can still play in a band. I can't drum for now hoping to again one day.

      My wife. We support each other. She suffers some kind of chronic facial nerve pain.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
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    23. Michael B
      Supportive

      Michael B Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Southern CA
      Tinnitus Since:
      2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Earbuds
      My wife is my main support as she has tinnitus herself. Otherwise it's this website.

      Having had tinnitus for years I tend to not solicit support as much as provide it, although if truth be known, I feel supported by members each time I log in.
       
      • Like Like x 3
    24. Tybs

      Tybs Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Fall from stairs
      My parents. Since my first desperate outburst, they have always been there for me, practically and in faith. I'm very lucky that I ended up in a positive environment with this condition.
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
    25. TheDanishGirl
      Sad

      TheDanishGirl Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Denmark
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2017 (H since 06/2017)
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      long term noise exposure (headphones), maybe some stress.
      I receive very little support IRL. 95% support comes from on here or other online sites. I wish I was supported more IRL. It's not ideal as it is right now, but I am also partly to blame myself......I have trouble opening up about my inner most darkest feelings. I don't want to cause people grief and burden.
       
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    26. Sash
      Doubtful

      Sash Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      07/01/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      cleaning out wax
      I have a friend who has mild Tinnitus so sometimes we discuss it but not really in depth. When I was seeing the audiologist even though she cannot help much it was just nice to discuss in in detail. I think it is very important to not just write about it but also to discuss it.
       
      • Agree Agree x 2
    27. ASilverLight
      In pain

      ASilverLight Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Neck + ETD
      Mostly my friends I'd say, but my mum too.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    28. UKBloke

      UKBloke Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      1991
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud Music / family history
      My mum. She has tinnitus as well so when things get really bad we share war stories from the trenches.

      A while back someone on Tinnitus Talk made a post about finding a "Tinnitus Buddy" in real life. I couldn't agree more. Having someone to talk to face-to-face who actually understands tinnitus because they have it is such a profoundly different conversation to that with a person who doesn't have tinnitus - even if that person is a loved one.
       
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    29. fishbone
      Shitfaced

      fishbone Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1988
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud noise and very bad sickness
      Cherish her, she's an amazing person. Shes your mom and she's your tinnitus inspiration. Kudos to both of you for the support you show each other.
       
      • Like Like x 2
    30. fishbone
      Shitfaced

      fishbone Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1988
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud noise and very bad sickness
      You are an amazing person, never think that you will cause grief, by sharing your daily life ordeals. If I was near you i'd support you.
       
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