Why Do Some People Hate Bill Bauer?

Why do you hate socializing? Is it from a fear of a tinnitus spike or are people just annoying to you?

 

The short answer to your question is that it has a cost (stress before, during and after the ordeal, as well as regret about what I said during the ordeal after the ordeal is over) and no benefit.

A longer answer: I have never enjoyed it. It might have something to do with my brain not working fast enough in "real time." I always say things that I later regret saying. During my twenties and in my early thirties I forced myself to do it. After each ordeal, I would always ask myself whether it was worth it (e.g., did I have a good time? did anyone say anything so interesting or funny that it made up for all of the bad time I had and for all of the negative emotions and stress?). The answer has Always been: NO.

Several years ago, I realized that when I have to socialize, I am being forced to participate in an activity (that I find to be profoundly disturbing) against my will -> it is (mental) rape. A rape of my soul. Socializing doesn't disturb me as much as it used to, but this is similar to a kidnap victim (who spent the past 30 years locked in a cage and being raped daily or weekly) not having the same emotional reaction to the rapes during year 30 compared to the emotional reaction during the first 5-10 years of the ordeal.

I can't believe how much time it took for me to snap out of it and to realize that just because most of the other people do it and just because others (e.g., my co-workers) expect me to do it does not mean that I ought to do it.

 

Same.

 

This sucks because the only thing i get out of life is running and iv also noticed something clicking in my head when I'm running. Its a physical sound not a phantom one and I dont notice any negative impact on my T only positive. Only thing it might be related to is my sinus issue iv had. Which could be related to my T but then I'm not sure. Sinuses have cleared up for the most part but when it was bad when lay down they were making a creaking sound similar to what i hear when running. Im dropping to bits sigh.

 

Tinnitus affects each person differently. If you enjoy running and it doesn't make your tinnitus worse then continue doing it. If you read a post further up on this thread I posted a link to a member where tests were carried out on people that do aerobic exercises and some of them developed tinnitus or it made the condition worse. Not everyone with tinnitus will be adversely affected to carry on with what you're doing if that makes you happy.

 

You are lucky then if you didn’t experience any negative side effects. You’re probably ok. I had a few scares where my T worsened a lot after jogging, beyond the usual increase from exercising. It scared me that it had changed to a new baseline (eventually got better). So if yours hasn’t done this, I don’t see why you should stop. @Samantha R had the clicking too but said it went away.

I did wonder if it was the ETs making the sound or middle ear bones somehow. I do find my ETs often open quite forcefully with a pop and some sort of swelling in my sinuses, but not the same sound, I think, as the clicking. Might be patulous ETs or ETD.

I inexplicably lost over 10% of my body weight last year within a 4-5month period. This included a lot from my face. Could be I just don’t have the padding anymore, which can affect the ETs and ears. Unfortunately no doctor or ENT has bothered to do any investigations even though I have asked.

 

It seems to me that people who can easily replace running with another type of exercise ought to stop running (as a result of the potential for T getting louder as a result of running). If it is one of only a few things that you enjoy, you might consider to continue to run. If you end up getting worse (and hopefully it will be only a temporary spike), then you could listen to the signal from your body and stop running.

 

I’m with you on this @Bill Bauer. Forced social interactions are not my thing. I freed myself from the must-belong-to-a-group mentality a long time ago. If I am truly honest, I only really enjoy spending time with those close to me such as my family. Also happy to go solo and do what I want. Never been bored or lonely. Don’t have time to be either. Work locks me down for so much of the week and I get enough social interaction from that. I still like people but in my free time I want to be free.

 

I feel the same way!

 

@Bill Bauer helped me through an incredibly dark time in my life almost a year back. I was posting multiple threads a week and he was almost always in the thread giving me guidance. Ive never met him, I probably will never meet him, but he holds a special place in my heart. No homo.

 

I am very glad that you found what I had to say to be helpful.

A year ago was one of the darkest times in my life too.

Have you experienced any fading?!

 

I have never met anyone like that. Although, it seems like a lot of people on this forum are a bit like you. I can relate the hating some social interactions (dating is horrible) but I have always craved friendships and loved to talk to people. To each their own.

Do you hate talking to people on this forum? Or is it just social interaction in real time?

 

It is interaction when there is something at stake. Here, I don't think I can lose or gain much no matter what I say.

I can see a person like me yearning for solitude and Silence and being devastated upon getting tinnitus (and consequently being more likely to end up here).

 

The funniest (not for me) thing is that my job involves daily public speaking/lecturing, and the students get to evaluate my performance/interaction with them in every course and in every semester.

 

Things can change with age. Your priorties, your outlook on life, perception of time and what you want to achieve in that time.
Some people just gradually distance themselves. Over time, experiencing unfulfilling forced interactions with people you don’t click with kind of sets it in motion.

I still talk, joke and get on well with people at work. When I’m on my time it’s precious and I want to maximise it.

Sounds like Bill gets more than enough interaction with his work.

 

@MBH

Please note. It is not my ambition to write the most posts in this forum, nor do I believe I am more knowledgeable than anyone else about tinnitus. It is quality rather than quantity that counts. I put a lot of thought into my posts, and the articles I write on my started threads that are based on years of experience. Since the amount of postings matter so much to you and you attribute this to one's knowledge of tinnitus. Perhaps you should take more interest in your own, and increase your meagre 245 postings instead of taking such an avid interest in mine. Or perhaps you are just one of these people that moan and groan endlessly about there not being a cure for tinnitus. Never trying to help or support someone very interesting.

Michael

 

@Bill Bauer i have to agree with you mostly on the social interactions thing. For example some members of my family i have nothing in common so the conversation is always that pointless small talk, and it is kind of stressful trying to think of something to say. I do have friends though who "click" with and talking is easier with them but i certainly see where you are coming from.

 

Thanks.

See? This is why I like you. Always helpful and on point. I was only interested in that study because I plan on getting back to the gym next month and will do some cardio as a warm up (such as running on a treadmill - impact)

 

@MBH

Here facts: you posted...

Michael Leigh 4,173 posts over many years

Bill Bauer 4,152 posts over one year this is the amount of time put into this site.

But I think Bill is catching up to Michael, either way it's nice to know they have spent time helping and understanding people in need.....


@Michael Leigh @Bill Bauer
Lol...... Two lovely men on my tail ...soon will be catching up with my 5,000 +
Messages......
Now I am laughing my head off.
Love glynis x

 

Thank you for your kind words. I use an elliptical/crosstrainer at home and haven't noticed any increase in my tinnitus. The fact that there is no impact with the floor could be a reason for this.
Good luck at the gym.
All the best
Michael

 

You're a good man, Michael. Thanks again.

Cheers,

Jiri

 

Not so much, it’s kinda worse and better at the same time. Worse In the sense that it’s a little louder, but better in sense that the tone has stopped moving around and allowed me to habituate a little.

Nowadays it’s the mild H that came on a couple of months ago due to some unfortunate loud noises out of my control. But it does seem to be getting better as I start to protect myself and fix my lifestyle up (exercise, eating healthy, cutting down my smoking and drinking).

 

Your profile states that your T began in 2015. What happened a year ago to make it louder? And what gave rise to it back in 2015?

 

It started 2015 with a slight ring that I hardly noticed, but I continued to to go to loud events, use headphones/earphones, loud music, basically everything that you shouldn’t do. Then last year it became a massive problem, probably a month before I joined the site. Ever since then it’s become a bigger part of my life than it should be.

 

@glynis thank you you are amazing person to do what you do!

 

Let's hope that in a year or two it will fade...

 

Fingers crossed

 

Wow ...

 

Exactly. I highly doubt that rape victims would compare forcible kidnapping and multiple sexual assaults to socializing and making small talk. Unless someone is physically holding you down and making you discuss the weather . . . nope, there is still no comparison.

 

Wow this thread man.....

I find some of Bills tips usefull, everybody deals with T differently.
We all have different thoughts and opinions, I couldn’t stay isolated as to me that’s not good for anybody’s mental health especially my own.
I thinks it’s finding a balance for you, I’m looking at everybody’s advice and taking bits to suit me, one thing I will always do is protect my ears if I’m going out especially in these first few months (I will make sure I have my ear protection no matter where I go) using the hoover, lawnmower etc.....
I appreciate everybody that comes on here to voice their opinions and give advice, some I agree with and some I don’t, but that’s life and you do what’s best for you as long as it’s not harming you any further.