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delta784
im so tired mentally im tired of crying everyday its been how many days since 26 september 2024?
delta784
you are just like me you stopped coming into these shitty forums hopefully you are in better place you are young like me
adpolandam
No one in my family accepts my condition and when I try to explain it, a huge argument breaks out.
2049v
My family never really accepted my condition either. And whenever I tried to explain it to them, it broke something inside me — that strong desire to be understood. No matter how hard I tried, they just couldn't grasp how much of a torture this can be unless they've experienced it themselves. They thought my mental health was deteriorating or that I was exaggerating things psychologically. And maybe, without realizing it, they were gaslighting me.
2049v
My advice to you is this: when it comes to tinnitus, no matter who your family or friends are, anyone outside of "our group", the tinnitus community will probably react the same way. You might not like to hear this, but honestly, my advice is: don't bother telling anyone who hasn't lived with tinnitus. There's simply no benefit. Most people just won't understand. Even your closest friends might end up asking stupid questions. Trust me, I know this too well because I've been through it myself.
dipp
(2/2) Right now, I continue not because of me, but for my wife and my family. I don't know what can I do to get a little better. I truly want to live of course, but right now it's hard to see the point in any of this. I just go through days and weeks the best that I can, but it's hard when you are being tortured all day 24/7. If I surrender someday, at least I know that I tried as hard as I could.
2049v
Hey my friend, I'm really sorry to read what you're going through. I noticed you joined the forum back in February 2017. Has it really been bad all this time? Didn't you have any better or more tolerable periods — times when things felt a bit lighter or closer to baseline? It's been over 8 years now. I've had very severe tinnitus too, for more than a year. I went through suicidal-level days, but also some okay ones. Not many, but still not every day was terrible. I just wonder if you had any of those moments too.
dipp
@2049v , thanks a lot for your message. Yes, during this years I´ve had lots of good times. My main problem is that year by year my hearing is worse, and my T louder. I somehow habituate and then I became worse and then have to habituate again, and I´m reaching very severe levels. I started with very low single tone T that I heard only at night, and progressively gone worse and now I have lots of sounds, the worst ones electrical hissings that I can hear it next to a highway or driving with music on. Maybe I can overcome this once again, but the bad thing for me is that I know that sometime I will worsen again. I´m getting out of strength to keep fighting. But I have to try.
2049v
@dipp, yes, I also had that electrical-type ringing, especially at the start. It couldn't be masked at all, and I cried until my tears ran dry because I couldn't sleep or if I did for a few minutes, the noise woke me up again. It was pure torture, truly horrifying. No one can understand unless they've lived it. I'm really sorry you're going through this. I've had awful days too, but I try to stay hopeful and live day by day now. Not every day is hell, though many are hard. I hope things get easier for you too. Only those who suffer like us can truly understand. By the way, do you know why your hearing keeps getting worse? Is it due to acoustic trauma or age related?
dipp
(1/2) Yesterday I should have had a good day. Easy work in the morning, and later I went with my wife to get a coffee and some doughnuts. Then we cooked some dinner and watched a episode of one of my favorite series, The flight of the Conchords. Anyway, I was feeling terrible and so depressed, because of loud T and hearing loss. I hardly enjoyed any of that. I was being tortured. If I can't enjoy some of this things, then I don't see the point in continuing living.
S
I've been researching about AI and it gives me hope about the next couple years AGI will be life changing for millions.
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S
What makes you think that i'm genuinely curious bro.
D
I was hopeful about AI too, but I realized that even if it comes up with a solution, it will still need to be tested with trials and other processes. Which makes anything at least 10-20 years away...
kingsfan
We'll all be starving and homeless in a few years once the bourgeoisie perfects AI to do their bidding.

Apparently @adpolandam hasn't heard what Microsoft and King did to their UI and Dev teams, had them design and develop their AI replacements and laid them all off.
adpolandam
It's getting louder (80-90 dB), there are more and more sounds, hearing loss, painful hypersensitivity, distortion, pressure on one side of the head, red ears. No one understands, everyone wants something from me and doesn't see the problem. Society doesn't realize how damaging ear damage can be to lives. Zero help! This has to change...
S
Feel you man I'm feeling pretty suicidal right now but I feel like there might be a light at the end of the tunnel for us. AI is advancing pretty rapidly.
S
Hey! I wonder what you hearing loss is? Mild / Moderate / Severe / Profound? You seem similar in age to me as well I'm 27. It sucks we have to live like this.
LovableGamer
Yes I will be 31 in November. Only a few years different. My hearing loss is moderately severe but lower tones are normal. I am trying to stay hopeful since it seems so many are working to restore hearing.
S
Have you researched about AI? Check out /r/singularity I think in maybe 1-2 years AI will be able to help us out so much it's called AGI. Praying for both of us man.
S
almost 6 years of this
2049v
Another headphone victims as I see. There's not many of us out there? How have you been all these years fellow headphone victim?
RestlessNights
Another headphone victims as I see. There's not many of us out there? How have you been all these years fellow headphone victim?
Click to expand...
headphones are the absolute worst.. im only 19 and they gave me such annoying and loud Tinnitus..! I don't understand how they don't restrict the volume to like 80DB, when i go outside, absolutely everywhere, everyone has them. I think in like 5 - 20 years tinnitus will be much more common than now bc of HEADPHONES ... gives me hope also, imagine everyone on earth has Tinnitus and understand our pain lol :p
2049v
delta784
what caused your sshl
LovableGamer
It wasn't really sudden. Anyway, I have what is called Turner Syndrome which little to slowly effects the hearing if at all. I have hearing aids which at the moment are getting the batteries replaced. I pray and hope I can hear normally someday soon.
delta784
sorry to hear hows your hearing?
delta784
Im not gonna make it i puke from stress every morning
S
I'm so sorry, Delta. This is the worst experience of my life and you seem to have it so much worse. I can't imagine what you're going through.

Are you working? How are you managing it? My biggest fear is that I'm going to end up losing my job because I can't focus or get as much done as I would have when I was well. I've considered medical leave, but asking for a single day off leads to a massive negotiation with my boss. I can't imagine she would take a request for medical leave well.
weehiru
As much as I have the reins on tinnitus now- I don't on the world around me. To be around anything louder than 70db hurts... Yet every event I go to the speakers are turned up to 100db and I see no one else wearing earplugs... Why the fuck is everything so loud, and I'm the only one reacting when it is?
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weehiru
@MindOverMatter all these questions are rhetorical and just me thinking out loud on a forum where people can understand. Like I had mentioned in my post I have the reins on tinnitus now and this rarely brings me distress. Just voicing confusion. Nothing about this is life ruining for me now lol... I mean, I've had this for a year.. Certainly is not my first rodeo with coping. Thank you, but unnecessary though.
MindOverMatter
Great to hear @weehiru Nothing's better than that 😊 A year is not a long time with this though, and hopefully you'll be able to improve the tolerance so that you can tolerate sound levels above 70db+. Wasn't my intention to throw around with unnecessary comments, sorry if it bugged you. All the best
cjbhab
It is crazy how me and a select group of other people are the only ones affected by noise. I've never ever seen anybody but myself wearing earplugs at a concert or sporting event - but nobody gets T.
Sodlin
Really hate that alot of my coworkers got their "hands full" and put calls on speaker phone on max volume next to where i sit and talk. I always cringe for 30-60 seconds then i have to put my earplugs in but still they keep doing it everytime and saying "im so sensitive". It litterally hurt my ears hearing the other person talking on the phone with the crackling in the background.
E
Hey Sonia. Have you a link for the community Facebook page, please ? I would like to read it.

How are things right now ? Your battling skills are very important for me and my recovery. I really do hope you feel in a better place.
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E
Your words are ALWAYS so encouraging. You would genuinely make for a superb therapist. I really cannot emphasize that enough !!! I feel calm again, which helps eleviate everything I'm experiencing, including the sound.

Yes, the mental side is so much more destructive. The phantom noise plays second fiddle.

Since we are restricted to how much we can post on profiles, would you mind me posting on the 'furnace' thread you created, please ?
E
Please understand, I don't for one second not think about your own situation! As you say yourself, this has been your biggest challenge ever. You are combining this with helping others at the same time, and that is testament to what you are clearly all about. You battle, you persevere, and you are helping others along the way!

Thank you so much.
S
You certainly may post directly to the "furnace" thread!

At work, I've found the easiest way to learn a new task is to teach someone else how to do it. Basically, a teach the teacher approach. I've kind of found the same thing here. Giving hope to someone else gives me hope, too. If I tell someone else they can get better, I kind of have to believe it for myself, too. I give my darker moments to ChatGPT. It reminds me that truly permanent tinnitus is rare, I'm still within a typical recovery timeframe and most people do end up recovering, even if it's not fast.
Katarinacl
I had to log back in here because for the first time ever I barely hear my tinnitus. I just got over a fever a few days ago, and during the fever it got really loud. Now 4 days later it's like 0.01 ss just in the right ear. Left ear is totally silent, can't hear anything. DUNNO IF THIS IS GOING TO LAST, just wanted to write this down somewhere!
henkess
Have you tried Potassium for pulsatile tinnitus? I have pulsating tinnitus it helps for me with my pulsating tinnitus.
S
Did a 2-day photographing gig in a theater. Music was very loud. first day I only had earplugs on. But 2nd day, I had double protection! Earmuffs (Peltor 30db SNR) + earplugs! Not the ideal way to work, but it was the only way.
delta784
1 minute ago
First Anniversary
You've been registered here for 1 year, congratulations!

F*** off i dont want it
S
I plan to keep posting even when/if I'm completely recovered. I want to counter the voices that jump onto a 16 yr old's post to tell them it's probably permanent after a week, or not to worry because surely there will be a cure in their lifetime, or that they've had high pitched screeching for 1000 years and it's never gotten better. None of that is compassionate and is untrue for most people and I cringe every time I see someone do it. Hope is important, especially for those of us still in the early stages. There's so much misinformation and dooms daying. I saw an analysis that said TinnitusTalk has more positive posts than negative, so that tells you how many people actually are out there improving. They aren't all languishing.
S
I did have my ears irrigated. As far as I could tell, it had no impact on my tinnitus. It did, however, open up my hearing. My right ear was pretty blocked, so sounds were amplified for about a week before my system adjusted. I was hearing sounds I hadn't realized I wasn't hearing before. I'm walking around wondering what that noise is and it's my arm brushing against my clothes. I don't regret doing it at all. I bought an ear camera so now I can look at my own ears and see if they're blocked.
MindOverMatter
Irrigation of ears is something you should avoid if you could @Escalado
There are MANY people that have worsened a lot by it - and even left with hyperacusis after it. There are alternatives that can be done manually by a skilled ENT. Better safe than sorry in this matter.
E
Hey,

MindOverMatter



I know this is a late reply, but have you had ear wax removed manually before ? I've just been quoted 280 pounds ( UK ) but it would be done at a very reputable private hospital group ( Nuffield ) performed by an ENT specialist. I'm thinking I should just go for it.
S
I'm so glad to have connected with you and several others. Passing along some optimism to you has helped me, too. I used to barrage ChatGPT with questions and by the end, I was in full blown panic. It didn't help me at all. I feel much less alone having others to share experiences, progress and hope with and I hope I help others feel less alone.
E
I really cannot emphasize this enough. Please keep posting! Not just here but on places like reddit too. Your positivity has actually rubbed off on me. A post you recently made on here to a 16 yr old in high distress is a perfect example. So very well thought out, full of hope, caring & reasurance. I too, got a big lift from reading that !! As with the most recent link you shared, even a few years of enduring this can end in a positive outcome!
just1morething
I have some issues with my left temporal bone that could be causing my severe left ear tinnitus. I may have to see a temporal bone specialist at John Hopkins in Baltimore.
PennyCat
My anxiety has been at a 10/10 catastrophic level for several days. Everything keeps getting worse. I'm genuinely paralyzed with fear and can't calm down. I'm afraid it's going to lead me to harm myself
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kingsfan
I live nearly every day like this as well. I'm sorry you're going through this.
Sodlin
I lived like that also for 6 months BUT it gets better. i was sure i was doomed but its amazing how live can get better even though you have no hope. Ive had Tinnitus since i was 14 (33 now) and ive manage my self back to track ALOT of times so you can do it aswell.
Kain
  • Kain

    Kain

Hope you're doing well (enough)!
S
E
This story offers so much hope, and really does help debunk this 6 month cut-off theory !! Thank you for sharing it. Honestly, your compassion and empathy is highly appreciated !!

In one of your posts you said you had earwax removed earlier this year ? Did you have it irrigated ? I'm wondering which method would be safest as I have quite alot in my good ear. I'm getting increasingly concerned as the last thing I need is to make my situation any worse.

Thank you, Sonia.
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