Dating with Tinnitus and Hyperacusis

It was so painful for me to read your story.
You deserve all the love and care in the world.
I can tell you now that I have far more love for you than he has.
Take care babe,
Dave x

 

Yeah it’d be one thing if these “severe” cases had severe causes like explosions or terrible concussions but it really doesn’t take much to cause hyperacusis apparently which is the scariest thought.

 

What are you guys using for protection? I find that ear plugs are not enough. I have ear muffs and a lot of sounds go right through them (sirens, car exhausts, music bass, etc).

 

I own three different types of muffs and I find some sounds go through them like butter.

 

Relationships ceased to be mutually beneficial partnerships at some point in the past decade. You aren't missing out on much.

 

Yeah, that's why I could hold a normal conversation even wearing the muffs (or plugs, or both). I used Peltor Optime III; it is a great model to reduce sound, comfortable but quite bulky, and the headband tends to break or get twisted so they don't seal as much. Because it broke twice (over years of course) I switched to Peltor X3, less bulky, slightly less sound reduction..

 

Do you wear them around traffic?

 

Thanks, Orions. What apps would those be? I have no clue to where to even start!

 

Tinder, Bumble etc.

 

They still work... if you put foam plugs under the ear muffs, they really work grand.

 

Yes, I wear double protection around traffic, still today.

 

I find that muffs (at least the ones I wear) amplify some traffic sound such as modified car exhaust.

 

I'll give this a try.

 

That's because bone conduction. It can happen with some sounds, but it is still best to wear earmuffs, in my experience.

 

I agree about wearing the muffs. I don't think it's bone conduction though because as soon as I remove the muffs, the amplified sounds coming from the exhaust seem to lower. Sticking my fingers in my ears actually blocks out more of the exhaust sound than the muffs.

 

I don’t agree. Of course this is assuming you have a good person as a partner, but I think having someone that you can trust, that is there to support you and just someone that gets you on another level is very important. Also the physical aspect of relationships too. Yeah the argument can be made that you can get trust and support from a family & friends, and affection and/or someone that fulfills physical needs from random hookups or friends with benefits type of situations. But having all of the above bundled up into one human being sure does add something special to life.

I think marriage is becoming less and less important, but not relationships.

 

I used to use an app called Hinge! Bumble was good too. Was never a big fan of Tinder. Depending on your age and location I know match.com is also fairly popular!

Hinge & Bumble are the most popular in my area though for mid twenties to mid thirties or so.

 

Going from being social and out and about most of the time and always having plans to being isolated in my home has been soul crushing for me. Perhaps if I was more of a home body before I wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place

 

I agree with this. I do think cancer is absolutely terrible, and the financial/emotional/physical impact of it can be life ruining. Not to mention chemo can also cause Tinnitus.

But I do think disorders that receive sympathy from society have the advantage of at least having that. They don’t have to hear the phrases “self diagnose” or “anxiety” or “it’s all in your head, maybe you should get mental help” when you’re feeling absolutely terrible and no longer able to go on.

I wouldn’t have to self diagnose if my doctors actually helped me out

I wouldn’t have anxiety if I knew that I had legitimate options for treatment

I would get seek mental help if I knew it would make me feel better and anti-depressants/anti-anxiety meds wouldn’t make me worse

Not saying people with severe conditions have it easier in any way, but having REAL support from friends, family and doctors goes a long way.

On nights when I was having severe panic attacks, literally was in pain from heart palpitations, couldn’t breathe, uncontrollable shaking and had 4 blankets on me and couldn’t warm up, I didn’t even want to go to the hospital because I knew one of two things would happen:

1.) they’d give me anti-anxiety meds or tell
Me they see nothing wrong
2.) check me into a mental health facility where I would get pumped full of ototoxic drugs and have to deal with the repercussions of missing work/paying for all of it

 

If we can’t even get a local support group going on here I don’t think finding relationships is viable lol.

 

Social media destroyed what little was left of "healthy" relationships. The more you learn about codependence and cluster b personality disorders the more you start to understand the statistic that shows 97% of families are dysfunctional.

 

The first 2 weeks with tinnitus, neck issues, TMJ and wasn't sleeping for 3 days straight at time. I was in and out of the hospital and they made me worse. They actually tricked me into going into the psych wing. Stay away from there if you can.

 

Hi there,

Really sorry I couldn't get this before. I am really sorry that he said all those words, and never understood what you were going through. @OnceUponaTime said that when people leave you when you are at your worst, it isn't true love. Weird enough, I actually found those words comforting, that I know in my heart, my true love would never leave me. Maybe you'll also find those words comforting, and look things from the fact that you are yet to find true love. And I hope you do, or at least someone that gets you, and be your pillar of support in all of this.

For me, I am trying to do things but it's very limited because of hyperacusis. And I love your ideas of board games and hikes, but the fact that I live in a shitty third world country with noise everywhere, it leaves me with no such options. I dream of a day when I'll get out of this shitty city, but not sure if I'll ever will, because of no jobs outside.

Maybe I'll work through my condition and pain for a few years, and maybe by that time they'd have figured this one out. If not, well, I'll leave this planet on my own terms and be content with the fact that not everyone gets a happy ending.

Rish

 

To all of those here who struggle with Hyperacusis, where does the anxiety line end and actual hyperacusis begin? I’m having all the symptoms of H, TTTS, the menthol sensations, etc so I think it’s past “anxiety.”

Certain things sound too loud, especially when someone talks really close to me or lots of people in my office talk at once. At that point I just get extremely overwhelmed and want to cry. Yesterday I felt totally fine. I just went to work and went home and didn’t even watch TV, just read in my room, so not sure why I’m so much more sensitive today. I did wear ear plugs for like 2 hours to block out noise from my upstairs neighbors

My coworker spoke a bit to close to me in my cubicle today and 5 minutes later the methol sensation in the ear that was facing her cane on. I’m deathly afraid of this progressing to pain H. All I have right now is foam plugs which I can’t wear around my office. Will getting musicians plugs be sufficient for me to handle my office?

 

Pick any guy off Tinnitus Talk and you won't be any burden at all....Fishbone would make a great boyfriend... basically pick somebody who isn't suicidal...

 

I have the perfect boyfriend for you. He's in his mid/late twenties. Pretty good looking red haired bloke.
His name is Matt. He lives in Truro, Nova Scotia. He has severe hyperausis and mild tinnitus.
He spends his days playing video games and going out and about in his X5 (not BMW).

 

I think so. Musician's Plugs are made for Nightclubs and, at least the ones I use, protect up to 20 dB. They have filters to that the wearer can still hear the music whilst being protected. They work out fine for me, though I've never tried to have a conversation while wearing them.

 

Not to sidetrack the conversation but only because I’m genuinely curious to your argument, why do you think social media is the cause of this?

 

I have a conversation fine with the 16 dB ones. I just hate the sound of my own voice being amplified over everything else.

 

Yeah I just need something to take the edge off for when I’m in the office as I’m extremely worried about my hyperacusis progressing to pain hyperacusis and not being able to work at all. I’m giving it 6 months or so and if it keeps on progressing I’m going to have to quit.