Don’t Know If I Can Keep Going

Thank you for such kind words. Yes, early trauma and compressed feelings are very much a part of my trauma with tinnitus.

 

@TracyJS Within the USA, under the Health Clinic Services Act of 1977 with no cost to you as not being employed, a nurse practitioner can be provided with a signature from an AMA member which is a doctor. This is a Medicare service and you can be any age. You will need to see a doctor first to get service. I have seen this service used many times. If you need assistance let me know as I so much care about you.

 

Tracy I am one of the people who has had a problem with meds making my T worse. It took a lot of time for this to happen though. In the beginning this did not happen. I want to share my experience so you may have a more clear picture about how they could help you and how they could hurt you. This is MY experience but you could discuss this with a good doctor.

Benzodiazepines which are a fast acting tranquillizer xanax, valium, ativan, can help as a quick fix they shut your fear right off and even could make your T go down temporary. But are risky because you can get addicted very quickly if you take them daily, they make structural brain changes which take a long time to reverse (if you take them daily for over a few months) and make you do a very slow taper and in this taper my T became louder my fear is worse and depression is worse. This is though by all I have read temporary and took a long time to start.

I did have a very good experience with paxil (paroxetine) when I first got tinnitus. I no longer use it now but it shut my fear right down after a month work in time and it truly helped me in the first horrible months. It made me much less anxious and hopeless. More accepting... The T was there but I didn't care. There are 100's of horror stories about it but I tapered of it without 1 single issue. And there are many many like me who have been helped and had no problem.

Paxil never made my T worse = antidepressant
Seroquel never made my T worse = anti-psychotic (in low doses works as a tranquilizer can help you sleep and shut down fear and dispair)
They gave me this because I needed to many benzodiazepines to stay calm in the beginning.

Benzodiazepines like valium, ativan, xanax in the beginning were a life saver BUT this is the one I say is risky and currently making my T worse due to the withdrawal (which could be temporary I really don't know yet) And if you ever decide to take them NEVER quit them cold turkey. Take them for no longer then 4 weeks preferably when you start an anti depressant like paxil. You wont have to taper very long after 4 weeks use. The best way to use them is use them sometimes. Only when you have a crisis.. If you need them daily you should look at other options.

Although I am very anti-meds at the moment there was a time in my life that I did need them and they did help. So I may owe my life to them. You just have to be vigilant.

I am not saying you should start meds, if you can get through this without that would be great and even better, but I wasn't that strong and many many people aren't either and there is no shame in that. When I had T the first 4 weeks I was hospitalized that's how scared I was, and had to be started on these meds. I was TERRIFIED they would give me something that made my T worse, when I was there I googled all these meds and there were offcourse people online who got T from these meds. A month later I walked out with no louder T and 90% of my fear and dispair was gone. Few months later I was back to work and functioning normally.

Its good that you are wary of meds because there is risk, but at this point all that stress and dispair is also taking a toll.

 

With respect. Posting this sort of information for people like Tracy and others to read, that are having a difficult time coping with tinnitus is not helping. Medications are not perfect but more often than not they can help people and prevent them from slipping into depression which may then require them to be hospitalized. I take clonazepam when my tinnitus reaches severe levels and nothing else will help, to reduce it to a more manageable level enabling me to cope with it.

Michael

 

With respect but try to read the whole post which you clearly were too lazy to do, I think my post helps her more then just steering her towards meds like you do without any further explanation. I explained how they both helped me and hurt me so she can use my story to minimise the risk. She is scared of meds and I explained how to minimise the risk from my own experience. I don't care that benzo's help you they helped me first but in the end made my T worse and unfortunately I am not the only one. And if you read the whole post you can see that I am trying to help and not scare her into NOT taking meds. And didn't I say that IF she had to use a benzo that she would only do so when she was in severe trouble and use them sporadically and NOT daily? If you are saying she could use benzo's daily to get her through this you could be hurting her in more ways then you could imagine.

 

Leave medicines to the doctors to discuss with their patients. There are too many fireside quacks in tinnitus forums, that do far more harm than good. Often frightening the life out of people and doesn't help at all.

Michael

 

I check on this and it’s for patients who have Medicare, and live in rural areas that are undeserved and have a shortage of physicians. I live in a major metropolitan area and I am not on Medicare. However, thank you for the suggestion.

 

Hi Tracy,

If you don't fear most side-effects from anti-depressants, then why fear an exacerbation of your T? It's most unlikely to occur. I was in your position from Feb-May: in fact, I spent nearly three months in bed terrified to move, interrupted my post-doc, and had my partner watching me due to feeling suicidal. I had, after years of the normal high-pitched ringing I don't care about, a sudden onset of low frequency sounds: all over head rumbling, whooshing, electronic beeping, droning sounds, hums, zapping, roaring, static, songs, musical tones, and it goes on. None of this was maskable, and indeed, was exacerbated by external sounds.

Today, I am sitting in the sunshine in my garden and back to work. So what happened?

Well, I was prescribed Sertraline (Zoloft), and if I had listened to some of the stories here I would have been terrified of taking it. I was also given Diazepam (Valium) as needed and referred for tinnitus counselling within weeks (unusual in the U.K, but as I have a cochlear implant any hearing things are treated quickly due to needing to know if it is malfunctioning). The Sertraline got my anxiety mainly under control and when that happened the T BEGAN TO SUBSIDE. That is no coincidence: yes, there is a physical cause in my case (deafness), but my mental reaction made a massive difference. Since mid-May it has gotten lower and lower until I began experiencing intermittent periods of silence in July. When it returns, it is now a faint hum and the reactivity has largely faded. I occasionally get a 24 hour spike which I take Diazepam for as it seems to bring it down to a tolerable level (my T seems a bit like Michael Leigh's in this respect). I sometimes take PharamaGaba, but supplements are a personal thing. Anti-anxiety medications are proven, and you are prolonging your stress out of fear. But fear of what? It surely can't get much worse! But you do have an opportunity to try getting better.

I now surround myself with noise as much as possible: white noise when working, and I have the Sound Oasis 650 machine on at night (I sleep with my implant on for a bit and then take it out). This has made a massive difference as my T now blends in with external sounds instead of being the dominant sound I hear. I am not habituated, but on my way, and that only began to happen once I decided to play an active part in my recovery rather than pacing around having daily panic attacks about what had invaded my head.

This is my progress five months in. I am not 'cured' and doubt I ever will be, but even extreme T like I developed turns out to be manageable. You may read stories of how it is permanent and will get worse, but try to keep in mind that such people will naturally gravitate to forums for help. I am an example of how it can improve, and of how silence can gradually return.

All the best,

Error

 

I advised her to discuss it with a doctor, you clearly have a reading problem Michael. Maybe cut down on the clonazepam because it seems to be making you a bit cloudy.

 

Hi @J.Hartog,

I want to thank you for your extraordinarily kind, helpful, and IMO, accurate description of the risks and benefits of benzodiazapines. The criticism that you received is pure hogwash, and indicative of the fact they NEVER took the time to carefully read what you had to say. I'm a little PO'd at the moment because of that ridiculous criticism. So I'll just finish up here quickly by saying "Well Done!"

BTW, I've had extensive experience with clonazepam, so my above comments come from my own personal experience. I keep both clonazepam and valium on hand in case of emergencies. Just having them available (along with Tylenol 4) helps get me through some of the rougher times. But I very seldom use them these days. When I do use them however, I take very small doses, and try to space at least a day or two before I take another one.

 

Thank you @Lane , This means a lot you clearly understand the message I wanted to send to Tracy. I feel for her and want to help, and also did my upmost best to explain how meds also were a life saver for me but there are indeed some risks to be wary of.

 

Still thinking about you, @TracyJS

 

Me too @TracyJS! -- HUgs...

 

And me @TracyJS big hugs

 

@TracyJS,
Ring me again anytime and confidential xxxx

 

@TracyJS

Hello Tracy. I am so sorry you are suffering so bad. I just wanted to extend support if you ever need it. I see that you live in Illinois. I also live in Illinois and I just wanted to let you know that if you need some support you can always reach out to me. I don't visit the site very often anymore but if you send me a private message I will get an email alert. Please feel free to reach out whenever!

 

Very detailed, articulate and supportive, and reflecting Tracy’s own view of the need for caution.
That last sentence did make me smile (slightly.)

 

@TracyJS
- sending loads of {{{{ HUGS }}}} babe,
and one extra big one for Riley.
Don’t you forget now - I’m going to ask her.
(Getting a bit bossy now........)

Dave x
Jazzer

 

@Ping43
Thank you so much for your response and your offer for support. That is very kind. I did try to send you a PM but it said I couldn’t send you a messsge. It looks like you might not have that enabled on your account?

Perhaps you can send me a PM instead?

 

I can confirm what J.Hartog wrote about Paxil and Seroquel. These are great to reduce the anxiety and depression. But they take time to work. Paxil needed 4-6 weeks to fully work for me. I took it in 2016, stopped taking it in 2017 (slow taper) and am now back on it because of a worsening of my Tinnitus due to stress. I take Seroquel half a pill of 25mg for sleep. Works good without the danger of getting addicted.

 

Warm hello to you @TracyJS . I have been thinking of you as I am so busy priming and painting and putting my house back in order. Dry wall is such a mess. We had holes in every wall ceiling to floor.

Ugg...

But you are on my mind and in my heart. How are you? I say listen to the qualified doctors opinions and base your decision on your gut feeling. Remember taking medication saved my life at the point where you are now.

Love to you....

Jen

 

@Starthrower
Thank you for your warm hello, and for thinking of me. I’m reluctant to say too much about how I’m doing openly on the forum. It seems to upset some people.

I hope things continue to come together with your home. You are very kind, Jen. ❤️
Tracy

 

Yeah I understand @TracyJS. I don't think it upsets anyone - we just worry about you and care. I always feel better when I see a post from you. This takes time - a lot of time and right now it does not seem possible.

Right now...I am just getting involved on the board and not off the board. It was one of my personal needs when I decided to come back into support with TT. I just don't want anyone to feel cut off because of this. It is my problem and nothing to do with anyone who needs help.

 

Hi Tracy - I’m not quite sure if I am ‘some people’ or not?
However - you have never upset me.

I think about you every day, whether you post or not, and I always just hope you are having a better day.
Love
Dave x

 

@TracyJS,
Here for you too duck x
pm or phone ...
You keep posting as we are here for every members needs and support so don't suffer alone as we do all care about you..
love glynis xxx

 

Hi Tracy I live alone, am new to this, and I so fully understand you when you talk about the darkness. I wish I had saige advice re. do this with this, but that is not where I am. I can only speak to the human in you, and so if you don't mind, that is what I will do. One thing that I have found so, so, so immensely important to be human is to have something called HOPE. When we can't see it, when it is hidden behind a fog bank of anguish, pain and discomfort, in this case produced by a never ending shroud of sound, our lives tend to be the darkest hole one could run into. We didn't ask for this, this just came our way.

The fact you found this forum, the fact that you have turned to it, means you are looking and holding on to hope. Hope that it can be better, hope that there is more. As I write this my right ear is yelling at me. Yesterday it was quiet, giving hope, now it seems to be trying to take it away. The only thing that keeps me from giving up is hope, that in an hour, a day, a week it will begin to subside, and I can move on. The more and more I read this forum that more and more I have begun to realize it is possible. Try to think of hope, be it a picture of someplace you want to go, or an activity not yet explored. One person wrote that they watched Star Trek, a show that is full of hope, and that helped her.

I wish I could suggest something more, but many of the to do's are covered above, so other than this message of holding on to hope, all I can do is remind you that you do have the support and understanding of those on this forum. Please hold strong.
Sincerely,
JohnCC

 

@Starthrower
I understand Jen. If you ever change your mind, please let me know. I value your insight, kindness, and wisdom. ❤️

 

@Jazzer @glynis @John CC
Thank you ❤️

 

@Starthrower
I don’t know that I’m going to make it.
I must be weak, not strong like others.
I need to find someone to care for Riley.
There’s just too much.