Don’t Know If I Can Keep Going

@TracyJS
one simple little trick that I use every day......

When I relax in my bath, in lovely soothing warm water, I ‘think’ my encouraging message for the day:

‘Easy Dave - just take it easy.’

 

......er.....suggest you use your own name Tracy.

Here’s another big {{{{{HUG}}}}}

Dave
xxx

 

Thank you, Dave. But I think my anxiety level
my mental state is too severe for that to help. I’m in trouble, I’m afraid.

 

@TracyJS ,
Are you on twitter ?
Lot's of mental health support by a long list of agencies etc you can privately pm and get advice.
I have some following me and following them as they are apart of Tinnitus support also.
love glynis

 

Thank you, Glynis.
Oh my god, I’m really in bad shape.

 

Hi Tracy I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. I am only a month into it, and I felt, and feel, just like you, and you know what, I too read the thoughts and life stories and challenges on T. Forum. I thought 'ok, this sucks, but there are others out there in worse shape'. What I realized was I was diminishing my own feelings of worth, and panic. As fas as I am concerned this forum helped me tremondously for I sat there wondering before I got on to this, how am I going to make it to Monday. I just conuldn't see a way.
Then I found the forum, I got more proactive in dealing with it rather than taking the punches. I woke up this morning and was it loud, how can you live when your ear is shouting at you as soon as you open your eyes. So I got up, went to the computer, and surfed. I found some of the masking web sites for tinnitus. I played a couple of ones til one sounded great, and I was able to go back and sleep. But my gut was tight, and the future leaked dark before that. How could I go to work (I am on holidays right now). If I had stayed in bed staring at the ceiling instead of going to my computer, today would be a wreck. On top of all of this, I keep telling myself, others are in worse shape, or what happens if mine gets worse, so why should I feel so bad compared to others.
You feel like this because you are human, and the pain and anguish you feel is real, and it is in you. Please don't ever apologize for being human and having feelings. I think it was great that you sent out your message, because you took a proactive step. I hope my note helps in whatever way.
I know I don't have the experience of some of the others on this site, but I can understand you, and offer my support. Stay strong, and remember, hope is a good thing, even when it is sometimes very hard to see.
Take Care, John CC

 

@John CC

Very well said my friend.
I’ve had it loud and permenant for over four years now.
We must never feed ourelves negative images or messages.
Always look for positive outcomes.

Meditation is a great help, hearing our sounds, and at the same time relaxing very deeply, so that our Tinnitus actually gets’wrapped’ up in comfort and ease.
Best wishes
Dave x
Jazzer

 

Op, all I can suggest to you is this:

Support/therapy(meds are not always involved) - all of us need this and it is very helpful.

Sound enrichment/masking/background noises - This has helped me quite a bit. At times I still use this and it is very helpful.

Distraction/relaxation - Exercise, yoga, meditation. If I didn't have this, I would be so so lost in this world. It is the anchor that gives me life everyday. Please do not take this lightly.

Time - this is very important. With each day healing can come around. This situation will take time.


Believe in yourself - Tell yourself that you will MAKE it. you WILL get better. Tell yourself "I AM GOING TO BE OK, THINGS ARE GOING TO BE OK!"

Bless all that suffer!

 

@TracyJS I know this feeling. We all care so very much. Have you thought of asking Dr. Hubbard on the board about what may be helpful for you? I am sure if you asked he would keep it confidential if you wanted.

I don't have time today to say a lot. But, when I do I will come back later or tomorrow. Like @Jazzer and the others you are like a soul buddy. And you would do the same for anyone else.

I am thinking of you Tracy. Up to my elbows in primer and paint since our house was torn apart for the re-piping project.

Lots of Love,

Jen

 

Bruce Hubbard founded CBT for Tinnitus to help people apply principles and strategies of cognitive behavior therapy to handle tinnitus and related hearing issues (hyperacusis, tone loss, phonophobia, misophonia, sound sensitivity).

In 2005 Bruce developed severe tinnitus and hyperacusis (See Dr. Hubbard's Personal Tinnitus Story). After many months of struggle, he was encouraged to learn that cognitive behavior therapy, the clinical approach to stress and emotion he'd practiced his entire career, was the most researched, clinically-proven treatment for tinnitus.


But most cognitive behavior therapists have never heard of tinnitus, and finding a qualified expert proved impossible. So armed with his expertise in CBT, and having read everything he could on tinnitus, Bruce guided himself through a successful course of treatment. Since then he has guided hundreds of others in applying cognitive behavior therapy to resume full, valued lives with tinnitus. Learn More About Dr Hubbard.......

 

Thank you, Jen, as always for your kindness and care.

 

Hi Tracy Just wanted to send you a quick note to see i) how you are doing, ii) let you know that you are not forgotten, iii) let you know I value you, where you are and will always be here to support you. You are the one who is strong, and will laugh again, smile again, and hug your kitten with the soft kindness that reflects the person you are.
Take Care, John CC

 

@John CC
Thank you for your kind words. I think your thinking about how to approach tinnitus and manage it will greatly help you. Your kindness to me reflects the kind of person you are ❤️

 

@Jazzer @glynis @Starthrower and others.

Someone please help me.

 

I am always here for you! You can pm me if you like....

I'm sorry for your sorrows, I really am. I am in the storm as well, tinnitus is horrible and you are always in my thoughts....

 

You are going to be okay Tracy.

 

@TracyJS ,
Let us know what's happening so we can respond to you...
I'm home if you want to talk .
love glynis

 

Tracy - you absolutely must find more help, more support, more medical backup.
What more help can we give you on a support help line.
What more, realistically, can we do.
We are all here to help you,
but in essence we are all crying with the pain, frustration, and discomfort that this wretched condition has visited on every single one of us.
We all have our own version of this hell.
We are all forced to cope.

You will learn to cope also, but you need help to avoid this hysteria.
You must approach somebody locally, your doctor, psychiatrist, hospital, whatever for the help you clearly need!!
Please do something along these lines Tracy.
This help you need is long overdue sweetheart.
Dave x

 

@Jazzer
Ok, I’m sorry...I don’t mean to upset anyone.

 

Not upset at all Tracy. I understand. When we need a kind voice or words - it is good to know someone is here.

Not to make you feel like you must..but have you sent in a question for Dr. Hubbard at the doctor's corner?
It can be confidential. I have never had that interaction with him myself.

 

Tracy - we will always be here to love you and support you babe - you must know that by now.
But it’s not enough is it?
It’s not doing the trick is it?
There is a need to ease your pain and calm your fears, so that hysteria doesn’t settle on you every day.
I can’t be sure what the right answer is for you; maybe a combination of medication and psychological support.
I can only guess.
But you do need to be more proactive in finding it, in my humble opinion.
Dave xx

 

I am in touch with Dr. Hubbard. He advises medication at this point as my distress is quite severe.

However, after reading so much, particularly on here, about how medication will only make my tinnitus worse and harm me, I have become paralyzed with fear.

 

I agree one hundred percent with Dr. Hubbard @TracyJS that you should start taking medication to help with your stress and anxiety. There are people in this forum that are averse to taking medication to help with tinnitus and emotional wellbeing. This may be fine for them but this does not suit everyone. Tinnitus is capable of wearing a person down considerably and one has to be careful of this otherwise they will make no improvement at all. Try not to read anymore posts from people that are averse to taking medication for tinnitus because their advice is not correct for you and you clearly need some help with the emotional impact that tinnitus is inflicting upon you. Sometimes will power is not enough and medication can be very effective in helping people with this condition.

Can antidepressants and other medications help tinnitus?

Tinnitus is a complex condition that comes in many forms and intensities and no two people experience it the same. It can be: mild, moderate, severe or extremely severe. Because its intensity can vary considerably, it can be difficult to know what another person is going through. When it is mild or moderate, many people are able to habituate to it and carry on with their life doing everything that they want to and may not always need a referral to ENT or a hearing therapist for treatment.

Tinnitus starts to become a problem when it loud and intrusive. If this level of intensity is sustained for a period of time, life can become a very traumatic experience, especially for someone that is new to the condition. A person’s once peaceful world has suddenly been invaded by an unwanted interloper, and it can seem there is no end to the nightmare that has befallen upon them. Insomnia, stress and anxiety are common conditions affecting such a person, which can often make the tinnitus, seem louder and more intrusive. Stress makes tinnitus worse and tinnitus makes stress worse. So, the more relaxed someone is the less intrusive the tinnitus will appear to be and often making life more tolerable.

If your GP suggests taking an antidepressant or a sleeping draft then I advise you to consider it. However, for various reasons some people are averse to taking medications, and when it comes to antidepressants or sleeping tablets they vehemently oppose the idea and prefer to deal with the problem without assistance from prescription drugs. Admirable as this might seem, coping with intrusive tinnitus isn’t easy. The usual methods of keeping busy to distract one’s attention from the noise or masking it with another sound so that it can’t be heard often prove unsuccessful and at times exhausting, because tinnitus is quite resilient and will put up a fight.

Contrary to what some people believe, antidepressants or other medications to help cope with tinnitus, don’t have to be taken long term and can act as a safety net, helping to prevent a person becoming too down. Remember, the less stressed and relaxed we are, the less intrusive the tinnitus will appear to be. This can go a long way in helping a person to habituate to the condition with time.

Some medications can make tinnitus more intrusive and this has been said about antidepressants. However, in many cases the effects are usually temporary. As we are all different it wouldn’t be right to say everyone that takes AD will be adversely affected. My blood pressure medicine is listed as “can cause ringing in the ears”. I haven’t noticed any increase in my tinnitus and I have been taking it for quite some time.

Life can be problematic even at the best of times. With the added pressure of coping with intrusive tinnitus, may advice is to try and make things a easier on yourself. Talk to your doctor and if an antidepressant or other medications is advised then try it and give it time to work, at least six weeks.

Michael

 

@TracyJS - I would go with the doctor’s advice.
You clearly need to change your regime to avoid exhaustion.
It may give you just the respite that you need to go forward babe.
Whatever you do, please keep coming back to let us know how it’s going.

Take care,
Love
Dave x

 

@TracyJS

While this forum is giving its members valuable information, it can also convey the wrong message if you focus on the negatives. Remember for every member staying on while suffering, there may be the silent majority since the inception of this forum who have gotten better by various means, and I don't rule out those who have been helped by using medicines to calm their nerves. I count myself as one who had used drugs successfully to control my relentless anxiety and panic attacks triggered by my ultra high pitch T and severe H. Drug side effects are highly personal thing. For every member complaining that taking drugs has made the ringing worse, there may be 5 or 10 (just saying) members who have moved on without much side effects. So don't be paranoid about taking drugs especially if you take it under supervision. Right now your limbic system is strong and your amygdala is working hard to alert you of potential danger from the ringing. So don'tworry too much. In due time. things will get better. God bless.

 

@TracyJS You may be feeling fear and I made mistakes because someone(s) treated you badly because their head(s) weren't on straight. Compressed feelings can resurface from getting tinnitus. You are a kind, caring and sweet person and you should look into a mirror and tell yourself that. There's nothing wrong with talking to a professional as most of us could use that at some point in our lives.

 

No, it's not too late for things to get better. However, something has to change in your situation for that to happen.

Do you remember that I suggested to you in a PM that you need a "Take Charge" kind of relative or friend to come and stay with you and to strongly encourage you to take your medication? To provide you with the reassurance, and emotional support you need during this crisis. Unfortunately, you replied at the time that there was no one available to do so.

You seem to be stuck in a kind of "psychological paralysis" because of fear in regards to taking the medication your doctor prescribed. I don't know if there's anything that someone far away from can either write or tell you on the phone that will get you to begin taking the medication. That's why I still think that you need someone there with you. Do you think that perhaps a "visiting nurse" coming once a day for a while might be helpful in getting you to take the medication? You might only need them for the first few days of taking the med. Therefore, it shouldn't be too expensive.

A number of us are truly concerned about you because we have also been in the same very dark place that you are now and know well just how bad it can be...

 

@jimH @TracyJS If you were to see a professional they can assign a "visiting nurse" as Jim said and by that there would not be a financial cost to yourself. A visiting nurse would also provide you with telephone access and to other professionals to talk with.

 

Thank you @jimH
It’s a good suggestion, but I don’t think I could afford a nurse to come every day.
I’m not sure if any female members are in my area. I need support so badly.

I am in a very dark place and things are really really bad. The desperation I feel is immense and equal to the pain. I also feel immense Shame for being so desperate and for feeling so trapped. I have never felt this scared before.

 

I have limited health insurance as I am (was) self-employed. I’m pretty sure a visiting nurse wouldn’t be covered, unfortunately.