Feeling Suicidal

@Angel Dust - please don't do anything drastic. I have been where you are a few times, most recently because of my tinnitus, but I reached out to loved ones and they all told me in no uncertain terms that they love me and need me. Your life affects more than just yourself. Please know that. You matter in a bigger way than you may think just now.

 

Julian Cowan Hill just seems like a total wishy washy, hippy dippy charlatan. I don't know about what his financial motives are like, but someone sent me his book that's available on Amazon and there's just so much broscience.

"A shockingly large percentage of the population over 50 have tinnitus. This is because as we get older we accumulate more experiences that have been overwhelming or hard to accept at the time. As a result we end up carting around this undigested life experience or “baggage” in our nervous system. There is more “stuff” that needs processing and this build up causes very specific reactions in our nervous system.

If you are 20 years old, and hit your head, you may get tinnitus for a day or two, but because your nervous system is relatively free and has enough available space to deal with challenging experiences, you get over things quickly. However, if you are 60, and you hit your head, you may get long-term tinnitus. This happens because you are much more likely to be bogged down with unprocessed baggage, resulting in overwhelm and a nervous system that goes into red-alert. Being in red-alert leaves you oversensitive and reactive. Therefore you notice the tinnitus more, create a reaction against it, and by so doing, lock it firmly into place in your awareness."

Yes, nothing to do with the degeneration/damage of hair cells and hearing in mammals. It's the baggage that makes tinnitus appear.

 

Yeah I laughed when I read that bit in his book.

 

I think he does mean well, rather than being a conman, but I do think he's delusional. I think he's the kind of self-styled guru who legitimately believes his own nonsense.

I do wonder if he ever actually had tinnitus himself, there's literally no way to know.

I don't know if I can be bothered reading the complete book, so much of it is utter waffle.

 

I stopped reading his book after that. Nevertheless there could be something in his advice as a generality, there are quite a lot of accounts of people managing to calm the reaction to their tinnitus and then after that the tinnitus gets quieter.

 

I agree, I think managing stress levels can be beneficial for T in general.

I think for those whose T is entirely stress related, it's probably key - although I know some say you probably have hidden hearing loss.

However, to think that people like myself, who do have a measurable hearing loss, or let's say someone with an acoustic neouroma, can just wish it away by destressing or doing some cranosacial fidding....

I don't buy it.

 

I actually like the guy (from watching his videos). If I remember correctly, he's a Buddhist, so is really into all kinds of calming techniques, such as cranial/sacral, meditation, etc. I've also heard that he doesn't believe cranial sacral is the only therapy that will calm down some of the dynamics behind tinnitus. I've read that he tells his clients that things like Qi Gong, yoga, etc. can work as well. Not a particularly smart thing to say if a person is a scammer at heart.

As I recall, he had pretty bad tinnitus for around 17 years when he first discovered cranial sacral therapy allowed him to get major tinnitus relief. I don't know whether that was habituation, but it seemed like it was a least a step up from habituation. He then had a severe acoustical trauma, resulting in profound hearing loss in one ear. His tinnitus flared violently, and he says it then took him 6 weeks for it to calm down again.

I tend to believe him. If he's been practicing Buddhism for many years, his neurological system may be amenable to the kinds of practices that he says works for him and others. But I can see where it might not work for others, especially perhaps those who live or have lived stressful lives.

 

So sorry for your loss. This made me cry. The suffering is real. I pray for a cure.
Once

 

I am 7 weeks in. Don’t think I could bare a liftime of this as I already have a debilitating health condition. My goal is to give it a year. Eat healthy and hope for the best. If after 1 year I am still where I am now or it is worse. Not sure either.

My advice, hang in for at least the year mark if not more, at least give it a chance to improve. There have been a few times in my life where I was close to the edge and I thought to myself to just hang in for 6-12 months and then reevaluate. In all cases, things improved. So I am betting this may too.

Also, I feel like life in general in just one long existence of suffering. I have been plagued with health issues. I know things can be a lot worse so I am thankful for what I do have (roof over head, food on the table etc.) but every morning I wake up, especially since this T started, I just feel like ‘How will I make though the day?!’

 

@Angel Dust
@Vin

After having been in various tinnitus forums for many years, I have noticed something quite common. First thing is TIME. It takes time for the body to absorb in this new sensation or new normal of having tinnitus. No body is a superhuman. Even some of the well know tinnitus coaches, Paul Tobey, Kevin Hogan, Dr. Nagler etc., they took time to get better. So try not to rush time. Give TIME enough time to work its magic.

Second is that our perception of tinnitus can change and often change for the better over time (again). Our initial mad rejection and emotional resistance to its presence will also moderate over time. It may be a slow process but some people can get better in months while others may take a few years. I took 2 years to feel better and by the 3rd year I wrote my success story. The following is a series of posts from a highly emotional and suicidal member, Neenie, who came here claiming she didn't want to live. You can sense her desperation from reading these post. But in a year, her perception changes and she then was on the way to recovery.

When Neenie first posted here, she was so very desperate and panicky, depressed and questioning the value of living on with her severe tinnitus. She started a thread 'Tinnitus has taken my life away':

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-has-taken-my-life-away.2737/

after a while, more desperation post about tinnitus not improving and not habituating, and crying over tinnitus:

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/why-wont-i-habituate.2785/
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/always-crying.3251/
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/the-nature-of-habituation.3303/page-2#post-32375

Now after some time, the subtle change in perception and tone about her tinnitus:
Mental illness and tinnitus

And her triumphant post over her tinnitus in a Christmas message.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/merry-xmas-members.7343/


Neenie is not alone. I acted similarly initially. Many members were also like that initially. But we gave ourselves time and the rest is history. So don't rule out that things may not look as bad over time. Why rush to do the unthinkable which is a one way ticket with unknown consequence (if there is an after life) and yet it is a sure life-long suffering for the loved ones left behind.

 

Thanks for the post and the words.

Hold on everyone. Just hold on. You are not alone.

 

Who cares whether or not there are strangers somewhere out there who are experiencing something similar? Will they send money to me? If not, then why would anyone care? I don't get it.

 

This whole board is the point, for information and support, is it not? If the internet did not exist, I would feel much more alone. At least here I can gain some insight, tips and converse with people who understand and can relate. Beats being isolated and not knowing why my ear is making noise, if anyone else is experiencing it and what things I can, should or should not do about it. That’s all I was getting at.

 

People sharing their experiences is certainly helpful.

Sorry, I misunderstood. I've seen a number of "you are not alone" messages here, and I never knew why that was supposed to be reassuring. Thank you for the clarification.

 

Ha Ha Ha! It's been 6 years since you posted this and still this company hasn't released any device to the public. What a joke!

 

I posted this on the 18th December of 2018.

Neuromod is expected to launch their new device this year in certain European countries and hopefully next year in the US.

I’ve had chronic tinnitus for nearly 6 years.

 

No Neuromod is not expected to launch their new device this year in any country. I watched the entire interview of the CEO. He said they are still in the clinical trial phase and will be submitting the results for the clinical trial in the end of 2019 and it will take a long time before the clinical trials are reviewed. See the link: https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/q-a-tinnitus-hub-meets-neuromod-lenire.32369/

 

This is a very unkind way to speak to @Autumnly . She is a valued member here. Please, lets remember to speak respectfully to one another.

 

Ross O'Neill literally said in the interview with Steve: "So, it will be available in a limited capacity in 2019 in certain European sites. Ireland first and then from there we'll make it more widely available both in Europe and in the US." (It's question 33: "When will the device be released and where will it be available?")

Their TENT-A1 clinical trial with 326 patients is already finished but their TENT-A2 trial with 192 patients is still on-going.

However, O'Neill said: "The publication will be submitted for peer review in early 2019. The peer review process, you can never say exactly how long that takes. It depends what feedback the reviewers come back with et cetera. But it will be published, and it will be open access."

 

That's not entirely true. Yes you are right TENT-A2 will be submitted for peer review in 2019 but it will not be available in limited capacity in 2019 anywhere. And especially Ireland. The company has no plans to release this device in Ireland. The first place will be in certain European sites but that is not going to be before the results of the peer review process are completed.

 

I wasn't speaking unkindly about her. I was referring to how pathetic it is that this Neuromod company still hasn't released a product to the market after 10 years already.

 

I understand now @ringinghours. I am sorry I misread your post.

 

Not sure what your issue is, the CEO said himself that they're planning to launch the device this year.

Quote by kelpiemsp: "The peer review process is a separate timeline. Peer review is like an application for academic integrity... it’s not linked to the application/review for consumer sale."

It's completely fine to speculate that they might not release their device this year but we don't know this as a fact.

 

Show me where the CEO said this.

 

Ross O'Neill said in the interview that you mentioned: "So, it will be available in a limited capacity in 2019 in certain European sites. Ireland first and then from there we'll make it more widely available both in Europe and in the US." (It's question 33: "When will the device be released and where will it be available?")

Again, it's completely fine to speculate that they might not release their device this year but we don't know this as a fact.

 

Their device has been CE certified in Europe since 2014 and they are currently pursuing FDA approval.

 

I would gladly do it for free, if the T was gone.
Heck, I would pay the 100 grand for the opportunity to hack off my leg, if it meant to have silence back.
Even if it meant selling my home and living in the street, since I really don't have that kind of money in the bank.

 

I have both as my tinnitus is accompanied of ear pain that extends all the way to the jaw, the ear pain is nothing next to the distress brought by the noise, the ear pain does not make me want to kill myself constantly, the noise does.

I would chop off all my limbs if it could get rid of my tinnitus, no hesitation whatsoever.