In Loving Memory of Allan1967

Rest in Peace dear Allan.

 

R.I.P Allan. I never had a conversation with him, but he seemed like a nice, intelligent person suffering from this debilitating and incurable hell of a condition. I hope he has eternal peace and rest.

 

Terrible news. RIP Allan. I briefly talked to him online as his Lenire appointments were the same days as mine. Only just saw this post.

 

Long time lurker, first time poster. Allan's passing prompted me to become a proper member and join others in saying just how sorry I am to read this news. I had been away from Tinnitus Talk for a couple of months and returned to learn this awfully sad news. Allan's humanity and compassion always came through so clearly when he shared his thoughts with us. He is now at rest, and today my thoughts are with his family and friends.

 

No. Just no.

RIP Allan. I corresponded with him via this forum as we started using Lenire around the same time. Devastating that it's turned out this way. How can this condition be so underplayed / unrecognised by the wider world?

 

No words. Sadly many of us probably know how he was feeling and words aren’t ever enough for his loved ones, and people who don’t understand what it’s like to live with it daily and nightly. RIP.

 

Allan, I never talked to you. But I read so many of your posts during that last year, you were always there for us members and ghost members.

I'm so sad we couldn't help you furthermore. I hope wherever you are, you are in peace.

This news was heartbreaking.

 

Absolutely tragic. My heart goes out to his family. Such sad news. RIP Allan.

 

RIP my dear Allan for peace is what you truly deserve.

This news hit me like a sledge hammer... it is extremely sad and painful to see someone go out like this in 2020.

Whilst fighting my own battle I had been in and out of Tinnitus Talk over the Christmas period and had noticed that people were starting to be concerned about Allan. His last posts were unfortunately very clear as to his recent state of mind... I was nevertheless still secretly hoping that nothing had happened.

Not many people understand what living with severe tinnitus is like... living is not the adequate term... surviving would be more appropriate. Even though I have had tinnitus for almost a decade I have only recently upgraded to this level of unimaginable torture and now fully understand that there are different levels to this beast. Allan was one of the few of us to suffer from this level of indescribable torture. I truly feel that I have lost a close member of my family... as, I am sure, a lot of you.

Tinnitus is unfortunately a never ending story of pain and despair... after enduring years of suffering it is now Allan's family who will endure pain and suffering... my heart goes out to them.

We must stay strong, understanding and supportive but must also realise that we all have a breaking point.

God bless you all.

 

Awe man... reading this has made my heart stop a few beats, I’ve got tears of anger and sadness that it came to this. Allan was a gent, had a wicked sense of humour and loved his sarcastic tone. I can’t be mad at him for doing this, I understand 100%. His poor family as well.
Whatever is out there I hope he finds the peace and quiet he wanted and deserved.

I hope something comes comes out of this, we all need to take up some sort of action instead of just talking the talk. He deserved better, we all do.

RIP Allan.

 

Rest In Silence, Allan...

 

This news is devastating. I’ve just been a lurker for a long time, relating to Allan these past few months. Hoping he’d be able to turn things around, as any good news with anyone usually gives me a little hope. My heart breaks for what he endured and his family.
Be strong everyone.

 

This is very very upsetting. I want to express how upsetting this is to me, but out of respect for Allan and the situation I am going to leave it alone.

 

How much do you think could have been raised? How much did Danny's campaign raise?

 

I agree, Jack, and I made this clear privately. It’s a real shame.

 

Although sad news, it is completely understandable that Allan's grieving family would not want the publicity of a fundraising appeal. I know that Allan had recently praised the work that Action on Hearing Loss are doing in terms of tinnitus research so anyone thinking of making a donation might consider that charity.

 

That's a good idea and can be done privately to respect the family's wishes.

 

What about just general information and fundraising but with specific context?

The tinnitus organizations never emphasize that tinnitus can be severe and that people with it may attempt suicide and many think about committing suicide.

It's a different phenomenon than others who are depressed and think of suicide as they often don't have a physical condition that influences that.

Tinnitus is unique in that no one else can hear the noises in your head and/ears so suicidal feelings because of this baffle health professionals - they can't understand or relate to what the tinnitus sufferer goes through and perceives their feelings and feedback as simply a depression/mental illness issue - equating it with all the other ones.

The tinnitus associations and organizations never mention this explicitly or explain this unique status.

 

Oh no that is sad.
Sorry you couldn't stay with us Allan.
Hope you have finally found peace from this demon.

RIP @Allan1967
x

 

No words.

 

I'm so very sad to read this. Allan and I spoke a few times, and I know how hard this has been on him. Thinking of his family. Goodbye, friend x

 

You had every right to do so. Living with heavy tinnitus is inhumane. Rest in peace.

 

I miss Allan.

 

Let's not forget Allan!!!

 

I often think of Allan and his surviving family.

 

I think now and then of a classmate from high school who committed suicide two years after we finished high school. If there's an afterlife I would like to have a long conversation with him then. We weren't close but I grew to understand his struggles intimately in my past 5 years.

 

I think one of the most misunderstood people are people who commit suicide. As a young man I was a little dismissive within myself toward these people but over the years I learned to suspend any judgement and just feel compassion. Ironically, after many years severe tinnitus and drug tolerance/withdrawal make me wish to die every day so now I understand these people quite well. I have kids so I need to ward this off as long as I can, hoping in some sort of reversion sooner or later. In this sense Allan's departure, Gaby's story and other suicides scare me because they show that severe tinnitus can really kill you. Both Allan and Gaby had kids.

I need to believe I can get through this but every evening I wish I won't wake up after my 3 hours of sleep

 

I don't have kids, but I do have a wife and family that I love very dearly. I have very, very severe hyperacusis (with accompanying tinnitus). I know that feeling of wanting to be dead, but not wanting to throw suicide on loved ones. I often go to bed hoping I'll die in my sleep. We have to stay strong; there may be therapies that can help us.

But I respect Allan's fight and decision -- I view it as humane, certainly not selfish. RIP.