So, I've run out of hope. I was given the wrong treatment, bottom line. All this was potentially preventable with more than 50% chance. All this wasn't done though because I had the issue over Christmas break when all competent doctors were on vacation. So, at this point...I'm done. The pain has crossed the point to where this life isn't worth it anymore. There is a chance I will just be so exhausted that I don't do anything when I get home. I probably won't pull it off. But I'm basically there now...there is no help. I'm done here. Its sad that my life of 28 years ends like this. I was given a shitty life, but also was improving until now. I'm risking my job sitting here writing this. But I don't care anymore. This life isn't worth it anymore. Again, though, I probably won't do anything once again...because I don't know what happens next.