ManagerHey everyone!
I am going through some really difficult time right now. I thought I knew tinnitus, but now I feel like I need to write a new introduction, because what I'm experiencing right now feels like a whole different monster.
I used to have what I would describe as a mild tinnitus. I would normally not hear it unless I was in a quite room. I would liken it to the sound of tearing up a very thin piece of paper. It was more of a buzz rally than a ringing. Sometimes I would not even hear it right after entering a quite room, and especially if I was physically active previously, such as coming back home from a walk. It would take a few minutes before I start hearing it.
My personal roller coaster...
I had come to terms with my tinnitus and was working on turning my life back on track. I had found a job and started to work again in July 2018. Life was smiling at me again. For the first time in a very long time. It's around that time that I stopped visiting these forums.
Then I became unemployed again in March 2019. It was expected, as it was a temporary job. Many of my work buddies had landed a new job or transferred to the parent company. I was not so lucky. But I was still hopeful and had positive outlook on my future. I had surprisingly many job interviews in the months that followed and some recruiters have approached me directly, which made me feel good about myself. Yet none of them offered me a job. That didn't feel right or deserving. But I still kept my head up high.
I had abdominal surgery in May under general anesthesia. I honestly hoped that the effects of anesthesia would cure me of my tinnitus. It didn't! But I had at least cured myself of another problem I was having and I am grateful for that.
I had started exercising on a regular basis before my surgery in order to strip off a few kilograms. I recovered from surgery very quickly and I immediately took up exercising again. I could barely wait. I became addicted to it. I became a gym guy. I would feel bad if I skipped a gym day. It made me feel good, physically and mentally. It was also a great distraction from my many problems.
January 6, 2020 and tinnitus takes a turn for the worse...
However, on January 6, 2020 my tinnitus took a turn for the worse. It all started with my visit to the gym. I did 30 minutes of running on the treadmill. I then took a short break and went on to do the plank. Right after the second rep I felt like my left ear became clogged. I could not hear on it properly. I thought it was just blocked Eustachian tube, due to the position I was in and the pressure that builds up in your face and sinuses when you are in that position for any length of time.
My ears tend to get clogged like this when I fail to drink water as frequently as I should. So I took a sip and swallowed, and I tried yawning, hoping to open up those cavities. But it didn't work. My ear still felt like it was sealed off from the outside. Oh well, it will wear off on its own I thought. It does that sometimes. So I went on to do another rep of the plank. I usually hold it for 60 seconds, 5 to 8 reps. I stopped after the third rep this time, because I was getting worried about my ear being clogged.
I went on to do a few bicep curls, some calf raises and a few pull ups. I had cut my training short because I was increasingly worried about my clogged ear. It seemed like I was going deaf in one ear and I could not do anything about it. The stereo sound I was hearing was completely wrong, and it seemed like the right ear was getting in majority of the sounds and with a short delay.
I went straight back home and that's when I realized what was going on. No wonder I was not hearing anything on the left ear. I had sounds in it I had never heard before, and they were louder than the environment. I did not notice it at first back at the gym. As the night approached I started worrying. It was like getting tinnitus for the first time, all over again. I knew the symptoms all too well. The worst part is, I knew I was in for a ride, but I had no control over it. I stayed up late that night, I was doing something on the computer to distract myself from this nightmare that had struck me.
For what it's worth, I was actually working on a programming assignment as part of a course I'm currently taking that would make me qualified for some educational programs coming up this year. I am that stubborn. I will fight this thing to the bitter end...
I went to bed 2 AM that night, but I could not fall asleep. I was still getting used to the new situation. I could not keep myself from listening in on all these new sounds in my head. Then I started panicking and getting cold flashes. I was in bed till around 3 AM. I had to get up. I watched some TV, and I could not even enjoy it or concentrate, I wen to the bathroom and then back to bed at around 4:30 AM. My eyes were hurting. I finally managed to calm myself down and get some sleep.
January 7, 2020...
I woke up around 11 AM that morning. My left ear still felt like it was clogged up, but it was better than it was the day before. I started feeling hopeful again that this thing might get back to normal levels. I even took the tram down to the city center and met with a friend of mine, and we worked on a project for a few hours. I did not even notice the tinnitus, not on the tram, in traffic or at the library.
But as the night approached, it started getting worse again. I felt fairly good emotionally and I knew now what was going on, and my brain was getting used to the idea as well and I was no longer panicking. But the sounds tend to creep up at night. As it gets quite at night I think, but also because its taxing on the brain to keep up with this thing for extended periods without rest.
I don't know if this was a bad idea, but I decided to do some syringing in case there was some wax in my left ear. I put the drops in for about 15 minutes and then washed it out with warm water and a syringe. Just a small, hardened chip of wax and skin came out. There was not much to clean out. I don't have much of a problem with wax like many people do. So my problem was not wax blockage. Deep down I knew that... but when you get desperate you are willing to try anything.
January 8, 2020...
This was the best day thus far. I thought it was all going back to normal... you know... "normal" tinnitus. I took the tram again, met my friend again, and we worked on the same project again. The only difference was that we started off with a visit to Wayne's Coffee. God knows I hate those loud coffee growling machines they use.
As the night approached again, I started hearing all these sounds again. Sleep is more negatively effected than anything. On the night of 8 January I registered some additional sounds I had not heard before. I was in for a rough night. I hardly had any sleep. Whenever I fall asleep, I would stay asleep for about 1 hour tops, then wake up by this clear ringing sound. In addition to everything else I was hearing.
January 9, 2020... present day...
This has clearly been the worst day since onset on January 6. I can now hear up to 4 to 5 different sounds. On top of that I still have that blocked ear feeling, and right now I am experiencing what we call fleeting tinnitus every few minutes, and it's usually at the same frequency, but occasionally it goes up in frequency a little bit.
I will try to list the sounds and symptoms here now, for the records.
1. Old: Light buzzing/ringing sound. This is my usual tinnitus sound that I normally don't hear unless I'm in a quite room for an extended period of time.
2. New: A low to mid-range ringing/humming sound. It's usually constant and it's one of the first new sounds I noticed. It sounds like the sound of blood rushing through your head as you yawn or similar.
3. New: This one is interesting. It appears to be fading in and out as I inhale and exhale. It's like I'm listening in on my internal body sounds as I breath, similar to the sound number 2 above, or when you submerge your head under water.
4. New: Irregular chirping or floor scratching? This one is new for today. I would liken it to the sound of shoes of handball or basketball players scratching against the floor of an indoor arena.
5. Old: Fleeting tinnitus! Every few minutes I hear a ringing sound on top of everything. It's higher in frequency than the second ringing sound. It usually lasts for about 5 seconds. This started today and has been going on for the last 4 hours. I did have something like this before.
6. Old: Clicks! These are not actually subjective sounds, not the clicks I hear at least. Despite the fact that some scientists repeatedly cite "clicks" as just one of many ways that "tinnitus" manifests itself. With me at least, and several people I have met on these forums, the clicks are coming from the middle ear muscles and bones actually. I once picked up the click sound in my left ear with a simple smartphone microphone. I have had the clicks along with my regular tinnitus sound for over a year. The clicks started to manifest a bit later and only in the left ear, then the right ear also started to get involved as well, but it's usually in the left ear. My hypothesis is that it's the nerves triggering defensive mechanisms of the ear to protect itself, as a result of the original acoustic trauma.
7. New: Distortion! If someone stands next to my left side and talks to me, everything sounds distorted. It's like someone has cranked up the volume on a cheap toy radio. It doesn't hurt though, so it's not like hyperacusis with pain component. I did have that in the early onset of my tinnitus.
Some start of the new year for me, eh?
Some other observations...
You know what the most interesting part is? This morning, as I was still in bed and listening to this out of tune orchestra, my regular tinnitus sound would get muted for a few seconds, then start again, then get muted and then start again. It's as if they were canceling out each other. At one point I could only hear sound 2 and 3. It was a bliss and unreal!
Another interesting observation I made yesterday, while the tinnitus sounds were less sever and while I could only hear a few of them, is that I could improve my hearing on the left ear by plugging it up with a finger for a few seconds and then unplug it. That would seemingly restore the hearing in left ear to a normal level, and I could hear in perfect stereo again. Then it would go down again. Lateral inhibition?...
Closure...
I don't know how to cope with this anymore. This is such a BS "condition" or "symptom"! As someone with tinnitus, you can't listen to music, that could affect your tinnitus. You can't enjoy fireworks for New Year's eve, that could affect your tinnitus. You may not touch, poke or syringe your ears, that could affect your tinnitus. And now I can't do a stupid plank? Because that could affect my tinnitus?... Is there anything that won't affect tinnitus? I sometimes feel so frustrated and fed up with this.
Sorry for the lengthy post. If you have any questions, advice, or have similar experience to share, please do. Take care everyone!
I am going through some really difficult time right now. I thought I knew tinnitus, but now I feel like I need to write a new introduction, because what I'm experiencing right now feels like a whole different monster.
I used to have what I would describe as a mild tinnitus. I would normally not hear it unless I was in a quite room. I would liken it to the sound of tearing up a very thin piece of paper. It was more of a buzz rally than a ringing. Sometimes I would not even hear it right after entering a quite room, and especially if I was physically active previously, such as coming back home from a walk. It would take a few minutes before I start hearing it.
My personal roller coaster...
I had come to terms with my tinnitus and was working on turning my life back on track. I had found a job and started to work again in July 2018. Life was smiling at me again. For the first time in a very long time. It's around that time that I stopped visiting these forums.
Then I became unemployed again in March 2019. It was expected, as it was a temporary job. Many of my work buddies had landed a new job or transferred to the parent company. I was not so lucky. But I was still hopeful and had positive outlook on my future. I had surprisingly many job interviews in the months that followed and some recruiters have approached me directly, which made me feel good about myself. Yet none of them offered me a job. That didn't feel right or deserving. But I still kept my head up high.
I had abdominal surgery in May under general anesthesia. I honestly hoped that the effects of anesthesia would cure me of my tinnitus. It didn't! But I had at least cured myself of another problem I was having and I am grateful for that.
I had started exercising on a regular basis before my surgery in order to strip off a few kilograms. I recovered from surgery very quickly and I immediately took up exercising again. I could barely wait. I became addicted to it. I became a gym guy. I would feel bad if I skipped a gym day. It made me feel good, physically and mentally. It was also a great distraction from my many problems.
January 6, 2020 and tinnitus takes a turn for the worse...
However, on January 6, 2020 my tinnitus took a turn for the worse. It all started with my visit to the gym. I did 30 minutes of running on the treadmill. I then took a short break and went on to do the plank. Right after the second rep I felt like my left ear became clogged. I could not hear on it properly. I thought it was just blocked Eustachian tube, due to the position I was in and the pressure that builds up in your face and sinuses when you are in that position for any length of time.
My ears tend to get clogged like this when I fail to drink water as frequently as I should. So I took a sip and swallowed, and I tried yawning, hoping to open up those cavities. But it didn't work. My ear still felt like it was sealed off from the outside. Oh well, it will wear off on its own I thought. It does that sometimes. So I went on to do another rep of the plank. I usually hold it for 60 seconds, 5 to 8 reps. I stopped after the third rep this time, because I was getting worried about my ear being clogged.
I went on to do a few bicep curls, some calf raises and a few pull ups. I had cut my training short because I was increasingly worried about my clogged ear. It seemed like I was going deaf in one ear and I could not do anything about it. The stereo sound I was hearing was completely wrong, and it seemed like the right ear was getting in majority of the sounds and with a short delay.
I went straight back home and that's when I realized what was going on. No wonder I was not hearing anything on the left ear. I had sounds in it I had never heard before, and they were louder than the environment. I did not notice it at first back at the gym. As the night approached I started worrying. It was like getting tinnitus for the first time, all over again. I knew the symptoms all too well. The worst part is, I knew I was in for a ride, but I had no control over it. I stayed up late that night, I was doing something on the computer to distract myself from this nightmare that had struck me.
For what it's worth, I was actually working on a programming assignment as part of a course I'm currently taking that would make me qualified for some educational programs coming up this year. I am that stubborn. I will fight this thing to the bitter end...
I went to bed 2 AM that night, but I could not fall asleep. I was still getting used to the new situation. I could not keep myself from listening in on all these new sounds in my head. Then I started panicking and getting cold flashes. I was in bed till around 3 AM. I had to get up. I watched some TV, and I could not even enjoy it or concentrate, I wen to the bathroom and then back to bed at around 4:30 AM. My eyes were hurting. I finally managed to calm myself down and get some sleep.
January 7, 2020...
I woke up around 11 AM that morning. My left ear still felt like it was clogged up, but it was better than it was the day before. I started feeling hopeful again that this thing might get back to normal levels. I even took the tram down to the city center and met with a friend of mine, and we worked on a project for a few hours. I did not even notice the tinnitus, not on the tram, in traffic or at the library.
But as the night approached, it started getting worse again. I felt fairly good emotionally and I knew now what was going on, and my brain was getting used to the idea as well and I was no longer panicking. But the sounds tend to creep up at night. As it gets quite at night I think, but also because its taxing on the brain to keep up with this thing for extended periods without rest.
I don't know if this was a bad idea, but I decided to do some syringing in case there was some wax in my left ear. I put the drops in for about 15 minutes and then washed it out with warm water and a syringe. Just a small, hardened chip of wax and skin came out. There was not much to clean out. I don't have much of a problem with wax like many people do. So my problem was not wax blockage. Deep down I knew that... but when you get desperate you are willing to try anything.
January 8, 2020...
This was the best day thus far. I thought it was all going back to normal... you know... "normal" tinnitus. I took the tram again, met my friend again, and we worked on the same project again. The only difference was that we started off with a visit to Wayne's Coffee. God knows I hate those loud coffee growling machines they use.
As the night approached again, I started hearing all these sounds again. Sleep is more negatively effected than anything. On the night of 8 January I registered some additional sounds I had not heard before. I was in for a rough night. I hardly had any sleep. Whenever I fall asleep, I would stay asleep for about 1 hour tops, then wake up by this clear ringing sound. In addition to everything else I was hearing.
January 9, 2020... present day...
This has clearly been the worst day since onset on January 6. I can now hear up to 4 to 5 different sounds. On top of that I still have that blocked ear feeling, and right now I am experiencing what we call fleeting tinnitus every few minutes, and it's usually at the same frequency, but occasionally it goes up in frequency a little bit.
I will try to list the sounds and symptoms here now, for the records.
1. Old: Light buzzing/ringing sound. This is my usual tinnitus sound that I normally don't hear unless I'm in a quite room for an extended period of time.
2. New: A low to mid-range ringing/humming sound. It's usually constant and it's one of the first new sounds I noticed. It sounds like the sound of blood rushing through your head as you yawn or similar.
3. New: This one is interesting. It appears to be fading in and out as I inhale and exhale. It's like I'm listening in on my internal body sounds as I breath, similar to the sound number 2 above, or when you submerge your head under water.
4. New: Irregular chirping or floor scratching? This one is new for today. I would liken it to the sound of shoes of handball or basketball players scratching against the floor of an indoor arena.
5. Old: Fleeting tinnitus! Every few minutes I hear a ringing sound on top of everything. It's higher in frequency than the second ringing sound. It usually lasts for about 5 seconds. This started today and has been going on for the last 4 hours. I did have something like this before.
6. Old: Clicks! These are not actually subjective sounds, not the clicks I hear at least. Despite the fact that some scientists repeatedly cite "clicks" as just one of many ways that "tinnitus" manifests itself. With me at least, and several people I have met on these forums, the clicks are coming from the middle ear muscles and bones actually. I once picked up the click sound in my left ear with a simple smartphone microphone. I have had the clicks along with my regular tinnitus sound for over a year. The clicks started to manifest a bit later and only in the left ear, then the right ear also started to get involved as well, but it's usually in the left ear. My hypothesis is that it's the nerves triggering defensive mechanisms of the ear to protect itself, as a result of the original acoustic trauma.
7. New: Distortion! If someone stands next to my left side and talks to me, everything sounds distorted. It's like someone has cranked up the volume on a cheap toy radio. It doesn't hurt though, so it's not like hyperacusis with pain component. I did have that in the early onset of my tinnitus.
Some start of the new year for me, eh?
Some other observations...
You know what the most interesting part is? This morning, as I was still in bed and listening to this out of tune orchestra, my regular tinnitus sound would get muted for a few seconds, then start again, then get muted and then start again. It's as if they were canceling out each other. At one point I could only hear sound 2 and 3. It was a bliss and unreal!
Another interesting observation I made yesterday, while the tinnitus sounds were less sever and while I could only hear a few of them, is that I could improve my hearing on the left ear by plugging it up with a finger for a few seconds and then unplug it. That would seemingly restore the hearing in left ear to a normal level, and I could hear in perfect stereo again. Then it would go down again. Lateral inhibition?...
Closure...
I don't know how to cope with this anymore. This is such a BS "condition" or "symptom"! As someone with tinnitus, you can't listen to music, that could affect your tinnitus. You can't enjoy fireworks for New Year's eve, that could affect your tinnitus. You may not touch, poke or syringe your ears, that could affect your tinnitus. And now I can't do a stupid plank? Because that could affect my tinnitus?... Is there anything that won't affect tinnitus? I sometimes feel so frustrated and fed up with this.
Sorry for the lengthy post. If you have any questions, advice, or have similar experience to share, please do. Take care everyone!
Member
or cry 
...
They only deal with "life threatening" conditions they told me. Oh wow... no kidding?! I don't know what to say... I have not processed this yet. I mean it's one thing that they take for a kid or a crazy person, but the way they handled themselves and communicated with me... and just the thought that ear problems are not dealt with at an emergency room... where the hell am I? What is this place? Bizarro World? 
(That's the thing about Sweden. On a first glance, we have everything here... until you need something, because then it's off limits.)
