Suicidal

Discussion in 'Support' started by jeremy06, Oct 14, 2018.

    1. Jazzer

      Jazzer Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      1/1995
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Thank you so much
      Lovely Lady xxx
       
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    2. Kendra

      Kendra Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      SSNHL/ Acoustic Trauma
      I actually posted in Awareness / Fundraising part of Tinnitus Talk about if anyone was or knows of a graphic designer that could make T-Shirts and we could sell them and give the funds either to Tinnitus Talk or another charity/organization working on tinnitus or restoring hearing.

      But NO ONE commented. For those who are able, need to raise more awareness. We can’t expect others not in this condition or a celebrity to do it for us.

      We must take action but it’s going to take a joined effort on our part to make impact.
       
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    3. jasonbourne

      jasonbourne Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise
      I just had a diagnosis of diabetes and I'm not even fat. I'm so fucking done, I can't imagine knowing I had Parkinson's.
       
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    4. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I don't know of anyone claiming they have severe tinnitus saying it got better.
       
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    5. Pero1234

      Pero1234 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      home theatre system + high pressure washer
      Hi Asey20,

      If you do feel the urge of visiting the forum again... why not try the success stories section for some hope.

      It really supported me in those dark, depressing and anxious first months.

      And if you need some scientific hope, there is the FX-322 thread of Frequency Therapeutics under Research News. And the excellent Tinnitus Talk Podcast, check it out.
       
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    6. Pero1234

      Pero1234 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      home theatre system + high pressure washer
      Coming here in the support section for the first time in over a year made me choke up and shed some tears. Not for me but for you all.

      Reading your stories made me remember what it feels like during those first few months. How hopeless and dark the world seems. And the fact that there is nothing we long-term sufferers can say or do that will help you directly... apart from telling you that life will eventually get better. Even with tinnitus.

      And @glynis, you are a wonderful person, I see that after all these years you are still doing just that: encouraging people in this section like you did with me and countless others years ago. You deserve a medal! Thank you!

      I am here to share some hope too...

      Since about 1.5 years after my acoustic trauma, I have most of my life back... job, family, friends... I can enjoy a movie, a game, even a book sometimes. A movie at the theatre is possible with my custom ear plugs.

      I still feel sad and disappointed from time to time... but no longer depressed or anxious. And it does no longer affect my quality of sleep.

      It may be very hard to believe at this point, but for most of us... the brain adapts enough to tune out tinnitus during most activities, allowing you to have something resembling a fairly normal life.

      In the meantime:

      Be kind to yourself...
      Forgive yourself...

      And seek out anything that comforts you... whether it’s the company of friends or pets, crying for as long as is needed, spending some time in the Tinnitus Talk success stories section, diving into the scientific episodes of the Tinnitus Talk Podcast (Frequency Therapeutics one gave me hope), starting yoga or meditation or ACT / CBT therapy to help you take your mind off tinnitus.

      Just don’t give up...

      Good luck ❤️
       
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    7. asey20
      Curious

      asey20 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Toronto
      Tinnitus Since:
      July 13, 2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not sure.
      Hi, I've been visiting the forum less lately but I still do visit. I'm constantly in a state between either massive improvements or huge panic in my life, but I guess this is better than before. Unfortunately, I am experiencing a lot of other symptoms than just tinnitus and it is going to take a while to find some answers.

      I have already read every success story and they are nice to hear. I also know that there is a lot of research going on. I hope that means that there will be something to help stop this thing completely in the future.

      I'm just tired at this point tho. I'll probably continue to visit this forum less and less. I'm trying to get better. I want to live a good life. I'm just scared of the unknown.

      Thanks for the response.
       
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    8. Michael01
      Frustrated

      Michael01 Member

      Location:
      Grafton,NSW,Australia.
      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      I second you there. I'm extremely scared of the unknown at the moment, as I keep developing new symptoms and no-one can tell me what's going on here. It feels like the only thing I can do at the moment is sleep that isn't affected by my ears and I'm not sure where to go from here.
       
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    9. GBB

      GBB Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Virus / Acoustic Trauma in one month
      Did the level of your tinnitus go down at all? Every day is excruciating for me. I feel so numb and disassociated from myself. Without some reduction I will not be able to habituate, I am sure.
       
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    10. ACG
      Studious

      ACG Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not Sure
      Yes, this about sums it up for me too. It just gets exhausting.
       
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    11. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      When did your tinnitus turn on?
       
    12. GBB

      GBB Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Virus / Acoustic Trauma in one month
      I feel like I have two people on either side of me blowing a dog whistle into my ears 24/7 and it’s been 45 days. This is literally insane! I have tried every supplement to no avail. I’m starting to crack and have tremors from stress, nightmares - goes without saying I need meds to sleep. I do not know how anyone could get used to this - I feel as though I have the 1% of tinnitus where if there is no improvement death is a foregone conclusion. The pitch it insanely high and non-stop. I feel like I’m going to vomit and honestly I want to fight but this is breaking me down.

      I do not know how I can keep enduring this for only a chance at improvement. I’d rather have cancer honestly.
       
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    13. GBB

      GBB Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Virus / Acoustic Trauma in one month
      It’s been about 1.5 months. Although the tone has fluctuated somewhat the base layer, which is this hyper high pitched ringing and burning, has not changed. I truly wonder if this the final stage of my life - I am 28 years old and have struggled every single day since this happened.

      The cause was microsuction followed by acoustic trauma.

      At this point I would literally do anything to help reduce the volume/intensity. If COVID-19 wasn’t going on I probably have booked a ticket to South Korea by now for PRP injections. Maybe I’ll buy a laser. Nothing is off limits because I am truly fighting for my life.
       
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    14. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      Is it the pitch or the volume (or both) that haven't changed? Have you been protecting your ears from all of the sounds that don't feel right to you?

      It seems to me that there is still a reasonable chance that eventually your tinnitus will begin to fade. Wait until you are at least 3-4 months in before considering the possibility that your tinnitus might never fade.
      What have you been taking?

      Have you tried sound masking?
      Most people here, including me, had been feeling this way during the first 3-6 months after the onset. For many (possibly for the [vast???] majority, but I can't be 100% sure) it eventually fades and then end up in "can hear it only in a quiet room" stage. Habituation takes at least 2.5-3 years to begin setting in. After that time many people (whose tinnitus hasn't faded) feel better about their tinnitus.
       
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    15. GBB

      GBB Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Virus / Acoustic Trauma in one month
      It’s super high pitched. No change - I can’t definitively say if the volume has changed as I have been on prednisone when it seemed to go up and then back down, and now nortriptyline and mirtazapine. The volume has never reached a level where I didn’t struggle day to day.

      I have been protecting. I haven’t left the house in a week either out of fear. Loud noises seem to set it off even more.
       
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    16. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      It might be the case that the more high pitched it is, the longer it takes for it to become a buzz or a hiss. Given that ears heal at a truly glacial pace, six weeks is nothing. Give it more time. A lot more time. Hang in there, there's still a chance that this will begin to slowly go away on its own.

      You will want to make sure that you don't hurt your ears during this period of vulnerability as your body is healing. You will want to avoid taking ototoxic drugs, avoid microsuction or syringing (performed when you need to clean wax out of your ears; a manual tool should be used), and not let your dental hygienist use an ultrasonic scaling tool on you (a manual tool should be used). For more details, see

      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...eone-else-who-has-tinnitus.26850/#post-307822
       
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    17. Selah1281

      Selah1281 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Bustown, OH10
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      https://news.ohsu.edu/2017/08/22/study-suggests-serotonin-may-worsen-tinnitus

      Plenty of different experiences on here, but personally serotonergic meds send my tinnitus through the roof. Like 10/10 catastrophic unmaskable tinnitus.
       
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    18. Pero1234

      Pero1234 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      home theatre system + high pressure washer
      The volume went up and down in the first few months. The sound changed several times too... It was very volatile... and often became more intrusive after new exposure to noise or even after my state of mind deteriorated.

      After about 6 months... the clear tone beep in my ear changed into a wooshing hiss that I can best describe as being in my head. Sometimes when stressed or after exposure to noise I hear the hissing with a faint tone on top, but the tone goes away after while.

      I did get habituated, so now I can only hear the hiss in a quiet environment...

      And even then, if I don’t actively pay attention to it, my only emotional reaction to the sound is: “ah right, it’s still there.”

      I reached this level of acceptance (or habituation if you will) only after a year. And with a few weeks of therapeutic help along the way... it was either acceptance or losing my mind. It took me time, but I’m glad I chose the first option in the end.

      Hang in there!

      ps: I agree with Bill Bauer on giving it time.
       
    19. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      So we know exactly what kind of monster tinnitus does this to a person and what he experienced...
       
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    20. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      You have to wait for the Dr. Tzounopoulos pill... 15x more potent than Retigabine... it has to do something.

      How many hours of sleep do you get a night before the spike?
       
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    21. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      What pill? Wait how long? For what? :rolleyes:

      It 'spikes' at night before I sleep. I guess this 'spike' happens anytime between 8 and 11. It's already bad. It's hard to explain. I guess I would say, it's 9 or 10/10 before and 11/10 afterwards.

      What also makes it so bad, is I want to sleep so just laying in bed. I tried sleep aids, smartphone apps for tinnitus and music but nothing helped. My tinnitus is worse than when I tried those on a regular basis, too.

      I don't know what else to say. I guess there is nothing.
       
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    22. GBB

      GBB Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Virus / Acoustic Trauma in one month
      I had a good day yesterday and today is so hard. I don't know if anyone else has said this before, but I feel like it is chewing at me on an unconscious level. My ideation is not depression driven - on my good days I feel great, but on my bad days I feel like I'm terrified and it's out of my control. This is what really scares me - it is not something I think about or pre-meditate - I feel like I have this almost impossible to resist allure to go do something... I'm not sure what's going on with me but I feel like I am having a psychotic break.

      Has anyone else ever felt like their noise is breaking their brain down? Mine is so high pitched and scratchy, I feel like it is destroying my brain... I don't feel normal, I have tremors and agitation and fits.

      Prior to this I have NEVER had psychological issues. Now I feel like I'm going to end up in a psych ward.
       
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    23. Backpacker

      Backpacker Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      SSHL
      Does it happen even if you are sitting or only if you lie down?
      Again, does it spike regardless of your position?
      And did you try to sleep with your head elevated (two pillows or folding some blankets or whatever) and if you did, does it help at all or not?
       
    24. Michael01
      Frustrated

      Michael01 Member

      Location:
      Grafton,NSW,Australia.
      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Actually recently I did seriously think about doing such a thing, and went to a 2-hour bash bashing expedition to find the ideal place, as well as trying to escape the insidious noise that was really getting to me at the point. It's not so bad now, but if I ever need it the options is always there, as I found a location that had about a 1000ft straight drop in a nearby gorge.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    25. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      RL-81.
       
    26. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I sure understand that.

      Several months ago, I started taking longer walks by myself and I passed a wooded area with a lot of trees. Several big trees, I forget if they were oak but I wondered if I could hang myself there.
       
    27. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I am sitting down and it's pretty bad.

      When I took my dog out for a walk, I passed a lot of noisy areas though. Maybe I need to compare to a quieter evening? It's hopeless though. I carry ear plugs with me but I don't want to wear them all the time! When the plugs are in my ears, there's no background noise at all so I am tortured by loud tinnitus tones. It's bad enough being outside, normally. But, at least, nature often has some noise that helps - wind, crickets, birds etc. It's not a lot of help since my tinnitus is so loud but it's something!

      Sometimes, there's a bit of pain in my ear canal but at least, it goes away. But, the isolated tinnitus from wearing plugs is sheer hell. What am I supposed to do?!? :(
       
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    28. 69Hz

      69Hz Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      LOUD NOISES
      I honestly don’t know if “accepting this” is a viable possibility for me. Silence was such an important part of my life, to the degree where I’m not even sure if I want to live at all if I can’t do the things that make me feel like myself. I’m a writer, I plan on teaching at an academic level, and I haven’t been able to write anything since this started. I’m almost 5 months in, and even though it’s slowly getting better, I’m still terrified I’ll never get back to the place I was before all this.
       
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    29. musicblue

      musicblue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      June20
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      NoiseExposure/Stress?
      Completely hear you - I too wonder if it will ever be the same however I come out of this mess (if I get out of it). Silence for me was everything. I have had a very good and fun life so far - I was so active and up for anything. I would pack 48 hours into a 24 hour day so to speak. Now I am just surviving day to day, waiting the clock down, on the lookout for any hopeful change. I'm only 3 months in but its hard to see hope when things don't change and you see everyone else soaking up life like I used too. I would get on with some things but the ear pain and hyperacusis has put a stop to that..
       
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    30. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      We're in the same boat my friend.
       

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