Suicidal

Discussion in 'Support' started by jeremy06, Oct 14, 2018.

    1. Kriszti

      Kriszti Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016/2017/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      @PeteJ

      Maybe you experienced residual inhibition?

      If I listen to a sound which is close to the frequency of my high pitched tinnitus, sometimes for a very short period of time, my tinnitus goes silent. Unfortunately, this doesn't work for me all the time.
       
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    2. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      @GBB, have you ever had anything like that? I suggest going to each grocery store and pull out a grocery cart. I am serious.

      Maybe that sound frequency causes a temporary improvement. Even though it was really short, it was worth it. My right ear was in a bit of pain after but the tinnitus reduction was so worth it.
       
    3. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      But, I am wondering if the change will always be temporary unless there is a certain way to do it or a treatment that needs multiple variables?
       
    4. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Yeah, maybe. It was strange. The very few times it happened, it was random or by chance and I couldn't cause it, intentionally.
       
    5. Selah1281

      Selah1281 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Bustown, OH10
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      It only ever worked for me when I first got tinnitus and the sound I had at the time was like crickets. I could listen to crickets on my phone and sometimes it would lessen the intrusiveness and make the sound perceived like it was environmental vs coming out of my ear.
       
    6. GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      No but my tinnitus changes tone/texture/volume/ear multiple times a day so I don't think I could pin it down. I'd prob find an external stimulus that could help and my tinnitus would just morph again.

      Impossible to habituate to this trickster son of a bitch.
       
    7. GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      Is anyone else terrified that they will hold out for hair cell regeneration / synapse repair drugs, and that after the procedure(s), they'll still have tinnitus? I know it's not good to get one's hopes up but I sort of need something to hang onto and this thought scares me more than anything...
       
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    8. Selah1281

      Selah1281 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Bustown, OH10
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Yes, I’m sure lots of us are.
       
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    9. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      What can I say, just keep doing what you did and try to repeat this phenomenon.
      Was it the Walmart across Promenade Mall?
       
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    10. Selah1281

      Selah1281 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Bustown, OH10
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      It’s not quite the same, but I have/had inner auditory canal osteomas (left ear still have one, right surgically removed last October). I had hoped the osteoma was applying pressure to the cochleovestibular nerve and thus causing my ear issues. There are documented cases of osteoma removal eliminating or reducing tinnitus. So I had a middle fossa craniotomy on my “worse” ear side. I woke up after surgery and immediately heard my tinnitus and knew it was all for naught. It was soul crushing.
       
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    11. GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      The thing that concerns me is that even though my tinnitus does seem to be getting marginally lower, my reactivity seems higher.

      For example, I drove myself to the doctor’s office one month ago without any hearing protection, sat in the waiting room etc, as my tinnitus was blaring the whole time, but it didn’t spike later on in the day.

      Today I was driven by someone else while wearing Peltor muffs, was as careful as possible, and when I got home my tinnitus seemed as loud or louder than ever. It think it may subside back down, but it seems like I’m now more fragile which is freaking me out a bit. I don’t understand why my reactivity is now through the roof when I’ve been protecting - I literally moved into a hotel to get quiet, don’t use the phone or TV, use earplugs in the shower etc...

      It’s just really scary when your trend line seems to be moving in the wrong direction despite doing everything possible to keep it moving positive.
       
    12. Chinmoku

      Chinmoku Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown, possibly medication
      I absolutely can relate to this. It's 2 am and I'm tortured in bed. Up to 3 months ago the night/sleep was my only refuge. I tried to do all the right things. I hope you are luckier than I have been.
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
    13. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      Has it gotten worse? Yours is only in 1 ear, right ? Other is quiet...
       
    14. Chinmoku

      Chinmoku Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown, possibly medication
      It started mild with an ear infection but now it's unbearable. I suspect medication. No other apparent reason for the progressive worsening.
      It's mostly in the left ear but I have it in the right ear too now.
       
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    15. GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      While I know it tends to stop working for most responders, pramipexole has had the strongest effect on attenuating my tinnitus thus far. It is a night and day difference at the moment.

      My neurologist had no problem prescribing when I showed her the study, and she said it is a generally safe drug. I just wish the effect lasted indefinitely. Most positive accounts look like they only last 2-3 months for relief.
       
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    16. Selah1281

      Selah1281 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Bustown, OH10
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Is this something that you have to take daily for it to have an effect or can you use it intermittently like benzos?
       
    17. GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      It has to be taken daily. I take it 3x a day.
       
    18. Kriszti

      Kriszti Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016/2017/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      How do you mean that it is relatively safe?
       
    19. Chinmoku

      Chinmoku Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown, possibly medication
      Thank you for this, @GBB. I'll call my neurologist tomorrow. I'm nervous going on a dopaminergic drug. Previously I tried Quetiapine but at a dose where the dopaminergic effect would be probably absent. It spiked my tinnitus, which _might_ suggest I needed more dopamine, not less. I never tried a dopamine agonist. I wonder how I would react, a naive interpretation would see excitatory/activating neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine aggravate an already overexcited system of neurons. However, studies are conflicting here as there is a study where Sertraline improved tinnitus in a trial but also a study where they show that serotonin and SSRI may worsen tinnitus. For dopamine, as I wrote elsewhere, there are studies supporting both Pramipexole (more dopamine) or Sulpiride (less dopamine). It looks like we would need a dopamine modulator rather than agonist or antagonist.
      Anyway I'm desperate, trying Pramipexole might be worth it, if it gave me 3 months of relief I'd go through a rapid taper of the benzo, which I suspect to be wrecking havoc, and then see what happens. As it is now, tapering is impossible. I'll call my neurologist tomorrow to see what he thinks about this rather than the Shulman protocol.

      On a last note, the Pramipexole thread here on the forum wasn't super-reassuring, little success there but we are all different, and I am really happy that it is helping you.
       
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    20. GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      I can only speak to my own circumstances but after the nausea side effect faded the first few days my tinnitus went from a 7 to maybe a 2-3. I’m in a silent room right now and really relaxed which was impossible before. All I can say is it seems to work for me for the time being but I expect it will stop at some point.
       
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    21. GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      My neurologist said she was fine prescribing it as it has no pronounced toxicity like other drugs. She also said the same about Keppra which I haven’t tried but may at some point.

      I’m sure all drugs have risks - safe is a relative term.
       
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    22. kamil1364

      kamil1364 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Possibly noise-induced
      I am not even 20 years old.

      My tinnitus is pretty mild hiss, what bothers me more is dysacusis. I hear morse code like beep over sounds like fans, blowdryers or car engines.

      Audiogram in normal range seems to be okay, I can hear up to 16 kHz at minimal volume, 17 kHz at low volume and 18.5 kHz at medium volume (I still need to make extended audiogram). Overall my hearing is comparable to friends of my age who have played with me in bands. All in all, I don't have any trouble with hearing, even with conversations in noisy environments.

      I could live with that mild tinnitus, but dysacusis (od whatever you call it) that comes with it makes masking using white noise impossible. I will try cutting out troublesome frequencies, but it doesn't change the fact that I will still hear it over fans or car engines.

      My hyperacusis is on the very mild side, I can't stand the sound of lawnmower (which wasn't a problem earlier), but still it's another poorly researched health condition that I have to deal with.

      So my tinnitus and hyperacusis are mild, dysacusis is a bit worse. Nonetheless, it still makes my life an absolute nightmare. I don't even have words for this, and being on constant fear of it getting worse doesn't help either.

      No one gives a damn, no one understands, when I say that I'd give both my legs for a possibility to exchange that shit for cancer I just get weird looks.

      "OMG it's just some weird-ass noise in your head, get over it, and why are you wearing earplugs here, it's not that noisy".

      I can't hang in there much longer. How can I lead normal life again if everytime I turn on a blowdryer or there is a car passing by I am going to hear that beep morse code? It's not constant, thus it's not possible to habituate.

      Having dysacusis makes you feel isolated even within tinnitus community.
       
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    23. GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      @kamil1364

      I have dysacusis that literally makes the wind sound like a squeaking see-saw. It's truly atrocious. I believe it is either inflammation in the cochlea, bent hair cells, or damaged synapses/nerves. Only in the second case could I see emerging therapies having trouble rectifying things. I take heart in that for the majority, these things disappear, although it can sometimes take up to 18 months. Please know you are not alone, and that this condition while tough, should hopefully improve naturally or with new therapies.
       
    24. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      You'll get used to it eventually... yeah it sucks but hey it can be much much worse, I'll trade what you got any day.
       
    25. kamil1364

      kamil1364 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Possibly noise-induced
      Dysacusis/reactive tinnitus are so full of nonsense.

      It's just unnecesary suffering, I already know I lost some of the ultra high 17 kHz+ frequencies, can't my brain shut up about it, really.

      I was never so unable to function normally.

      This whole tinnitus/hyperacusis/dysacusis etc bullshit is invention of Satan.

      And why can't it motherfucking kill me, it should be lethal. It has already taken everything from me, and yet I still have to exist, at least until I finally kill myself.

      And it all feels so unfair, I never really got any warning, no temporary tinnitus ever. Just first time, and it's permanent.

      It's almost funny that a bit of loud music can make you suffer so badly for the rest of your life.
       
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    26. jay777

      jay777 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      benzo/ headphones
      A club I hope you never get into. The 1% are the people whose tinnitus is deadly.
       
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    27. Chinmoku

      Chinmoku Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown, possibly medication
      I hope it does not stop working. I checked again the abstract of the study, it says

      Just to double check: your tinnitus is >8 kHz and Pramipexole worked anyway, right?
       
    28. kamil1364

      kamil1364 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Possibly noise-induced
      How is their tinnitus deadly?

      I'd like mine to be too, it's apparently too hard to kill yourself, and as for now it's the only successful treatment we have.
       
    29. GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      It changes now - originally was a pure tone screaming at 14 kHz, though I hear that more and more seldom - generally only after a spike or in the evenings. Now most of what I hear sounds atonal - very similar to a bag of coins being shaken near your ear, just an atonal sort of shhhh, shhhh, shhhh. I know that sounds bizarre but that’s the truth of it. This change came on before pramiprexole. The Pramipexole seems to have turned down the volume on most tinnitus/distortion that I hear, but it still ranges, though the upper and lower bounds are now lower.
       
      • Informative Informative x 1
    30. Chinmoku

      Chinmoku Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown, possibly medication
      I'm reasoning on this, I left a message to my neurologist. I read some anecdotal reports and some agree the drug loses effectiveness in a few months but not always. I hope it keeps working for you. My main issue is that I can't risk any further worsening and if the dopamine direction is wrong it might be tough. There is a case here in the forum where Pramipexole brought the tinnitus to monster level.

      Quetiapine and other medications that tend to block dopamine (Cinnarizine for example) never worked for me and made me feel worse and depressed or worsened my tinnitus, so I would imagine going in the opposite direction with dopamine agonist might be worth a shot. My tinnitus has a sort of terrible restlessness and I know Pramipexole is used also for restless legs symptoms. There are important side effects but I am ready to face them if this horror can be brought under control, I can't go on like this. I will follow your progress with interest and I definitely hope it keeps working for you.
       
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