Suicidal

Discussion in 'Support' started by jeremy06, Oct 14, 2018.

    1. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      My piece of s*it building had a major problem which caused the fire alarm to come on a few times. I had my muffs within reach but now my left ear is in pain.

      Is that due to hyperacusis or TMJ?

      Wearing my muffs for any length of time usually results in pain in my ear and the joint directly at my ear/cheek at the bone. What does that mean?

      The noise might have contributed to the pain.

      I don't think I have to say much about what happened with the tinnitus. This day was extra awful.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    2. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      • Hug Hug x 1
      • Informative Informative x 1
    3. weab00
      Alone

      weab00 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      depression-ville
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise, whiplash; 08/20 H
      There are online pharmacies that ship drugs from India. You'll wind up paying a lot more though, but it's worth it if you can't manage to get your hands on it through doctors. I've tried them and they are indeed legit. Eg riverpharmacy.ca
       
    4. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      Hyperacusis most likely. Is there an alarm speaker inside your apartment as well or just in the halls?
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    5. Tweedleman
      Depressed

      Tweedleman Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2001
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown/Noise
      Have you consulted a dentist/TMJ specialist? This almost sounds like you've got some really fucked up facial muscles pressing on nerves.

      I'm looking into massage/chiropractor on the off chance it might help. My Mom's chiro claimed he has a patient who gets about a months relief from tinnitus after a session with him. I don't know any more details than that, but anything's worth a shot.
       
    6. weab00
      Alone

      weab00 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      depression-ville
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise, whiplash; 08/20 H
      ATA-funded research is a joke. It's always about coping/acceptance, CBT, and TRT. They are contributors to slow tinnitus research and think it's okay to tell people to suck it up rather than invest in meaningful cellular biotechnology.
       
      • Agree Agree x 9
    7. Zugzug

      Zugzug Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Likely Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease; Sjogren's Syndrome
      If anyone on this forum does end up committing suicide, it's not anyone's fault. I would argue that this forum does a lot of good, seeing as how many people are out-of-this-world depressed, but keep going. I'm willing to bet that many people in this thread only have Tinnitus Talk as the one place where they can be truly honest about their suffering. I do not know the details of what you are referring to, but I can only imagine that recommending a psych facility or not is not obvious. Some may even kill themselves sooner under such treatment. Maybe not. Depends on the person. No easy answers.

      Although not a suicide per se, years ago, my best friend died of a drug overdose. I felt like a murderer for not intervening. Over time, I began to simply feel bad for his (and his family's) situation. It doesn't have to be someone's fault. Sometimes life is unfair and doesn't make sense.
       
      • Agree Agree x 8
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    8. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I have seen two dentists over the past year and neither thought I had TMJ.

      I do need a mouthguard for grinding.

      I don't know if any dentist can evaluate you. I don't know how to see a TMJ specialist.

      I do think I have fucked up facial muscles or something related and caused by wearing ear muffs and loud noises (one or the other or possibly both).

      This country is woefully inadequate to evaluate and assess these health problems.
       
    9. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Both. I have had duct taped washcloth covering the speaker but it eventually gets removed. It doesn't muffle the sound much.

      My tinnitus suddenly got worse or spiked for no apparent reason. I sound like a broken record but I hate living.

      I would say my left ear feels a bit better today but what's the point when I don't know how long that's gonna last?
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
    10. weab00
      Alone

      weab00 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      depression-ville
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise, whiplash; 08/20 H
      Right there with you bro. Life is definitely a shell of its former self when you give up all hobbies, stop working, start rotting in your room because the sound of traffic sets you back and spikes your tinnitus. We are living at 1/10 the capacity of someone with healthy ears. And I don't want this forum's pity, just telling it like it is.
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
    11. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I don't think pharmaceuticals/drugs help the majority who have severe tinnitus and if they have hyperacusis or some sort of ear pain, I don't know if pain medication will help. Although, I want to try it.

      Here, it's really difficult to get support from doctors. They are not interested in being advocates for severe tinnitus conditions.

      I don't think pharmaceutical drugs do much for most tinnitus conditions unless the psychological condition happens to 'override' the tinnitus. In that case, I don't consider that severe tinnitus. At least, I don't know of any drug that changes or alters tinnitus.

      I don't think anyone is at fault. That shows me, imho, how bad his tinnitus was but do these outcomes affect doctors or researchers or governments?

      Does anything change? I doubt it and if that's correct, it's just as tragic as the personal and individual tragedy.
       
    12. DaveFromChicago

      DaveFromChicago Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Headcold/Flu
      To Selah1281:

      I recall that a Suicide Prevention Team visited Allan1967 at his residence and did everything they could to persuade him not to make this ultimate choice. If their efforts were not successful, then there is surely no reason for you to feel in any way culpable.

      Also, I have read several quite shocking reports on Tinnitus Talk regarding the monstrous circumstances and experiences for those who were temporarily in Psychiatric Wards. Not a single respondent reported the slightest beneficial outcome.

      Graham Greene once wrote that "No one can guarantee anyone's happiness" (and conversely no one can absolutely guarantee the prevention of anyone's black misery and the consequences).

      It is quite unfairly presumptuous to gauge to extent or degree of anyone's internal, private suffering.

      Each of us is finally, utterly alone with the reception and evaluation of the intrusiveness and destructiveness of this frankly freakish, unique malady.
       
      • Friendly Friendly x 4
      • Agree Agree x 1
    13. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      Look into Keppra.
      You need to get a court order for the fire dept. to bypass and remove the fire alarm from your apartment and install an alarm for deaf people (strobe light)... Otherwise you risk getting worse and worse with every exposure. I got my tinnitus onset in 2011 following a Toronto residential building fire alarm.
       
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    14. zozil_radical

      zozil_radical Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise from MRI Machine
      My hearing was damaged by an MRI also. There should have been better procedures in place to prevent against hearing damage during the MRI. I plan to make a complaint to the FDA so that the clinics and MRI manufacturers will create better procedures to prevent hearing damage. See my post history.
       
    15. Pitseleh

      Pitseleh Member

      Location:
      France
      Tinnitus Since:
      2007
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Benzo class drugs (especially Clonazepam) will help your tinnitus not only on a psychological level, but also on a pure "sound level" aspect, as it is pretty well known now Glutamate plays a huge role in the loudness perceived.
      Not so many people on this board take these drugs, but I know for some of them it's the only way they can function.

      Yet, there's a price to pay on the long run being on these drugs.

      The question is are you ready to pay the price when time comes in order to get immediate relief (as little as it may be).

      I am personally ready to pay the price, I do benzos, which is the only support that keeps me barely functioning. I'll deal with the consequences later, when treatments come for tinnitus in the upcoming years.

      If I were in your situation, and believe me, I'm in a very dark place, I wouldn't hesitate to do anything and get it prescribed at least for a short period of time, just before your reach addiction and only to realize your sounds can get lower.

      But keep it in mind: price to pay.
       
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    16. GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      I’m honestly not sure why some days I feel upbeat and optimistic and other days I literally need to fight the urge to jump off a balcony. Symptoms are the same most days so it’s not spikes/intensity. My life feels so small and conditional now, and what’s left is sort of pathetic. It’s certainly not pleasant.
       
      • Hug Hug x 4
      • Agree Agree x 1
    17. Zugzug

      Zugzug Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Likely Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease; Sjogren's Syndrome
      Your recent posts resonate with me. I also think I may have nerve damage: highly reactive tinnitus, severe hyperacusis, no obvious hearing loss or word recognition problems that point to hair cell death, worsened easily by low level noises. I don't know though; this is all so complex that hair cell death is still possible.

      Anyways, I am right there with you on mood swings. My doctor's goal is to treat me with steroid sparing medication. Hence, I am weaning off prednisone as mycophenolate kicks in. Pretty much the last thing a suicidal, disabled person needs is steroid withdrawal. Sometimes I want to laugh at how big of a joke my life is, but I can't.
       
      • Hug Hug x 8
    18. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      I laugh all the time through all the pain and hell.
       
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    19. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      It's the process of habituation. It's normal. Hang in there. In a couple of years you'll be habituated and tinnitus will be just a minor annoyance more than anything.
       
      • Like Like x 1
      • Agree Agree x 1
    20. Watasha
      No Mood

      Watasha Member Benefactor Advocate

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      I am no fan of the ATA in general, but this is simply not true regarding the research they've funded as a whole. I hope to see them re-prioritize how they spend their money but when they do fund research it has to fit their roadmap to a cure.

      https://www.ata.org/research-toward-cure/research-program/past-ata-funded-research
       
    21. dipp
      Moonlighting

      dipp Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Spain
      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown. Maybe stress and acoustic trauma
      I'm at my all-time low. Just surviving, when the night comes, I think "another day that I don't make my family suffer for me". That's the only thing keeping me alive. Intense suffering the rest of the time. I don't know how much time I can be like this.
       
      • Hug Hug x 10
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    22. GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      I’d like to be able to sleep without drugs again, among other things.
       
      • Agree Agree x 3
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    23. GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      I’m sorry we are both suffering. Each day is an endurance test. I hope we reach at inflection point and are able to enjoy life again. Whether the catalyst is time, medical treatment, or something else, I truly hope we can improve.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    24. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      You will, I also started with drugs.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    25. MRItechssuck
      Disappointed

      MRItechssuck Member

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      Mild 2000-2018 sev 10/17/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise, MRI
      Do you know the manufacturer of the MRI? Mine was Siemens. 20 minutes that ruined my hearing forever... it’s been a year. Call your GP and tell him you can’t get into an ENT yet, and you need Prednisone... then go to a minute clinic, tell them you had an ear trauma... get more Prednisone... and then see some of the dosing threads in here... act quickly.
       
    26. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Wrong.
       
      • Agree Agree x 3
      • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
    27. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      At least you found drugs that work/help.

      Guess what time it is here? :-(

      Does anyone know where to donate organs to researchers? Frequency Therapeutics etc?

      Can they figure out how loud your tinnitus is/was after you're dead?
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    28. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      At around 2.5-3 years after the onset, some people report habituation (or partial habituation).
       
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    29. Tweedleman
      Depressed

      Tweedleman Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2001
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown/Noise
      This. I stick to 0.5-1mg/day Clonazepam and I've never had a problem coming off of them. The benzo fear mongering gets so carried away here it's comical. People let horror stories of high dose, long term users turn them off completely. I've experienced worse withdrawal on softer drugs; I had terrifying sleep paralysis episodes when I quit smoking weed after 4 years of constant daily use.

      It's sad because so many people here could probably benefit from benzos, even if it is only a very small relief. But a few people who can't handle it have to ruin it for everybody. Huge disservice. Just ask @PeteJ, his merciless prick Dr. refuses to Rx him anything, thinking he's doing him a favour. They're ultimately looking out for themselves because they don't want to risk losing their license with all the horseshit in the media.

      Respect the benzo and you'll be fine, that's been my experience. And if you can't get a Rx, just order some Etizolam from the clearnet ;)
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    30. Selah1281

      Selah1281 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Bustown, OH10
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      How long was your longest period of use?
       

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