Suicidal

Discussion in 'Support' started by jeremy06, Oct 14, 2018.

    1. GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      I'll keep updating if it is helpful. I understand the stakes for you are high so happy to provide any info/insight I can. Whatever you decide, of course, I wish you the best.
       
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    2. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Does anyone know what the % is for spikes due to acoustic trauma vs actual, permanent worsening due to acoustic trauma, here?

      I am dying now.

      A few posters asserted that spikes can take a few days to weeks to months, right? I wonder what they base that on.

      I am just wondering if it's possible to have an idea of how long a spike will last based on statistical probability (without any other stat or medical conclusion to guide someone).

      Inferences, conclusions, guesses etc. based on???
       
    3. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      Figuratively speaking...
       
    4. Zugzug

      Zugzug Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Likely Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease; Sjogren's Syndrome
      What is the side effect profile like for Pramipexole?
       
    5. GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      I had nausea the first day. Other than that nothing so far for me personally, but I'm sure there are many possible side effects.
       
    6. weab00
      Alone

      weab00 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      depression-ville
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise, whiplash; 08/20 H
      Yes indeed. It is such bullshit. I also struggle with pain hyperacusis and dysacusis/reactive tinnitus brought on by headphones. It's like these conditions are designed to take away every hobby, every passion, every simple enjoyment in life from you and then some. But just enough to keep you alive at the edge. I wish with every fiber of my being that I could travel back in time and punch the old me in the face for listening to loud headphones/not wearing protection. I had no idea the disastrous effects it could have on your body.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    7. GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      I fantasize about coming out of a portal right as the ENT is about to put the microsuction thing is my ear, and grabbing his arm in a "not so fast" kinda way.
       
    8. donotringatme

      donotringatme Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      ETD, TMD, CI
      You don’t have ear damage. You have done the same bs I have, which is hard / improper mewing, I read your introduction while looking for relevant threads here about mewing. We messed your upper palate up and apparently now our jaw joints are too close to the ear. Muscle tension is definitely not helping and so is pushing tongue up the roof of the mouth if you’re still doing it. One idea thrown at me was to reverse suction (which I won’t do but you can try if you want): check the image posted.

      170414D2-A951-456C-9EFA-84971F1CFD30.png

      Depending on how stupid each of us were, we could have ruined our bite significantly which translates to a thousand chew movements a day done wrong. But what we seem to have is a backwards bite. Sort of.

      Leave your tongue be where it should be without pushing up or resting up, go to a good manual therapist to remove muscle tension from everywhere and then take X-rays from both your TMJ to see what kind of damage there is (hopefully reversible, as I don’t think we are stupid enough to push enough to make the TMJ socket actually hit the zygomatic where the ear lies, or something like that). I want to believe it’s just overworked and maybe slightly hypertrophic muscles in relation to the bad bite.

      Orthotics can’t reverse this as far as I know but perhaps they can, never say never. In other words, we are in deep sh*t but I think we can manage.
       
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    9. weab00
      Alone

      weab00 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      depression-ville
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise, whiplash; 08/20 H
      Mewing could've been a contributing factor. I also think sound exposure was. But I will see to seeing a TMJ specialist. I mewed for like a year and a half. Are you saying we're fucked or that there's a chance we could get better? I've never heard of this shit causing hyperacusis but maybe it could and is... You've piqued my interest.

      Btw I was only soft mewing.
       
    10. donotringatme

      donotringatme Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      ETD, TMD, CI
      No you were hard mewing and so was I. It isn’t a contributing factor, it’s the only factor. I’ll update you soon regarding that. It causes all kinds of things, depending what nerves are being irritated. And yes; we f’d up big time but I’ll have updates soon.
       
    11. weab00
      Alone

      weab00 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      depression-ville
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise, whiplash; 08/20 H
      Isn't hard mewing forcefully applying pressure? Soft mewing is simply resting the tongue on the top of the palette, which is what I was doing. Also, I can't afford to get an MRI with my hyperacusis. CT scan and x-rays are fine though. I happened to be blasting my headphones and mowing lawns without hearing protection around the time I got tinnitus/hyperacusis. Anyway if it's some obscure nerve being touched due to mewing then I guess we are fucked lmao, I don't have the money to go through extensive testing.
       
    12. kamil1364

      kamil1364 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Possibly noise-induced
      Yeah, literally all I thought is going to happen is some hearing loss. And as soon as I start seeing the symptoms of it, I would just lower the volume.

      I know I screwed up a bit, but I really really wish that someone warned me about how wrong I was. Some hearing loss is bearable, but that whole tinnitus thing...
       
    13. FGG
      No Mood

      FGG Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Hall of Fame Advocate

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Multi-factorial
      It sounds like you very well could have noise damage but one thing I have noticed is a tendency for ENTs (and people on this forum sometimes) to automatically assume noise induced tinnitus.

      To complicate it, some non primary noise causes are actually acutely triggered by noise (e.g.. Third window syndromes like perilymph fistulas or secondary hydrops which can be noise triggered) but treated very differently.

      And there are people with noise induced hearing damage that can have other co-morbidities like TMJ or vascular issues that have an additive effect and make tinnitus much worse. Some people could have more mild tinnitus by dealing with these cofactors.

      When someone gets tinnitus and doesn't know why, the first thing people ask is have you ever been to concerts or used headphones and almost *everyone* has.

      Tl;dr: Yours could primarily be noise induced but, if possible, it's always a good idea to rule out as many factors as you can, as long as the test (e.g MRI) isn't risky itself.
       
    14. weab00
      Alone

      weab00 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      depression-ville
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise, whiplash; 08/20 H
      Can’t do an MRI because of hyperacusis. I probably have comorbidities like whiplash but it’s controversial whether mewing even moves your jaw, most dudes don’t see any progress. I have no symptoms for TMJ or ETD so not sure why this dude is saying it’s the ONLY factor lol.
       
    15. FGG
      No Mood

      FGG Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Hall of Fame Advocate

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Multi-factorial
      I know absolutely nothing about mewing so it wasn't directly at that specifically.
       
    16. Greg Sacramento

      Greg Sacramento Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      syringing and now somatic T dental work
      Mewing isn't usually a problem, unless one has infection in the upper palate. This infection happens with pits between teeth and gums. Sacs of fluid - bacterial on the upper palate that enter the palate thru a pit. Pits usually happen from sharp objects - appliances - creating a pit on the upper palate, adjacent to a tooth. Then a bacteria source - food - cigarette smoke enters the pit. So with mewing, it's usually needed to have bacterial weakness to the upper soft palace for any damage to TMJ joint. With this, ear pain can happen from increased ear pressure. The side of neck will hurt and sometimes facial, sinuses and eyes. Damage can be done with finger pressure in trying to help drain the bacterial sac, but tongue pressure isn't enough to be a concern. Tongue pressure can increase one sided problems with TMJ or teeth over time, but tongue pressure to a side of lower front teeth is more of a concern
       
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    17. kamil1364

      kamil1364 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Possibly noise-induced
      Literally I was one of the brightest minds my school has ever had when it comes to maths and physics, in freetime I was studying biology and chemistry, I played several instruments in a few bands and was very involved within electronic music/DJ community.

      Now all I do is sitting at home and spending whole days on tinnitus forums.

      And my parents sometimes think that I'm a psycho or just got lazy for no reason.

      It's unbelievable, I feel like it's all just terrible nightmare. I find it hard to believe it is reality.
       
      • Hug Hug x 8
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    18. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      I have read several saddening comments on YouTube from severe tinnitus sufferers saying that they heard "X tinnitus supplement" was a scam. Probably from either me or Contrahealthscam but they bought it anyway because they figured it be worth the risk.

      This is the desperation I see all the time. Even people who had tinnitus for decades fall for this snake oil. Why?

      upload_2020-10-18_21-32-30.png
      upload_2020-10-18_21-37-24.png
       
      • Informative Informative x 1
    19. GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      Hope springs eternal.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    20. GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      There are people who make it work but in general yes, we are now moderately to profoundly disabled. Good news is we can likely improve with the advent of new technology. Bad news is we are *special* now.

      The smartest thing we can do is try to bide our time and create a good setup for Act II.
       
    21. LindaS

      LindaS Member

      Location:
      Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      sensorineural hearing loss
      I am so tired of the pain.

      The tinnitus, which gets much louder at night is bad enough (sometimes fire alarm loud) but the burning pain on top/back of my head for most of my waking hours and the burning ears on and off several times a day (even in silence) is getting to be almost too much. It's been almost seven months. I'm on Clonazepam .05 mg 2 x day and Gabapentin 300 mg x 3 a day (the Gabapentin it is being upped every two weeks to see if there is a point where it will work) but they are not alleviating or reducing the pain at all at this point.

      I couldn't do much of anything before, but now, evening reading quietly, I have burning pain.

      I can't imagine continuing to live with this pain day in and day out.

      I am getting more and more depressed and hopeless.

      Help!
       
      • Hug Hug x 8
    22. Zugzug

      Zugzug Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Likely Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease; Sjogren's Syndrome
      I can sort of relate to this. I used to be a Ph.D. level researcher in math. Now I get too stimulated by even the clicking of a mouse, typing of a keyboard, flipping of pages in a book, or writing of a pencil to even focus. I often think about math by just visualizing the equations in my head, which is really difficult most of the time.

      I used to play piano as a hobby. I bought myself an electric keyboard and self-taught myself. Simply loved it. Now my piano sits next to me, collecting dust. Just a few years ago, I recorded a song for my wedding.

      It's weird because my disability (although my disease began 5 years ago) began right when I moved to a new home. It's like I died. My life is broken up into disabled and not disabled. I still cry about it, but less often.

      Hyperacusis is completely unthinkable. Every day, I really can't believe this is happening. I didn't even know hyperacusis was a thing before. When I first started to develop it, very few emergency alarms went off because I assumed that if it was actually a serious problem, I would have heard about it by now. Turns out, it really is this fucked up. And ENTs really are clueless and give bad advice. It's absolutely unbelievable.
       
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    23. Zugzug

      Zugzug Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Likely Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease; Sjogren's Syndrome
      I'm so desperate that I would do anything to even generate a placebo effect. The scams don't do it for me personally, but I can definitely picture someone "not wanting to know" in order to muster up a placebo effect -- even if it's just for a few days or relief.
       
    24. GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
      I returned from the hotel I was staying at to my family’s home - even inside the house a passing train used its horn and spiked me back to week 1 levels. In the interest of transparency I wanted to disclose this because although the Pramipexole helped me reach a state of near-quiet when there was no acoustic insult, I’m no longer enjoying that benefit. It seems like exposure to sound trumps everything else, and for fragile ears, this includes wholly innocuous sounds. Anything that does not kill the tinnitus signal outright leaves one susceptible to spikes from external noise, if one is fragile.

      This has left me contemplating if my tinnitus is even a result of damage to the hair cells or synapses at all. Why should tinnitus be at its loudest from a temporary spike, when there has been no additional damage done, and if tinnitus is a phantom noise proportionate to a destroyed range of hearing? Why should a 5 minute drive or a distant horn bring tinnitus back to airplane turbine levels of volume when those cannot possibly be causing permanent changes? My audiogram is fine - there’s the common rejoinder about an extended audiogram - but how would that account for the temporary spikes which dictate the course of my life on a daily basis? Is it inflammation? Damage to the nerve? Hypersensitivity in the brain? All of these? None of these? Or one of 10 or more other hypotheses that hinge around a piece of anatomy we cannot image or even access until the owner is voluntarily deaf or deceased?

      Cue opinions from the various tribes here assembled:
      "It's hyperacusis - you need to enrich your nervous system with sound."
      "It's hyperacusis - you need to protect your ears at all costs."
      "This is classic reactivity."
      "There's no such thing as reactivity."
      "Trust me, you'll habituate. I did."
      "I thought I had habituated but I haven't. I'm near the end of my rope."​

      We have a rich oral tradition, if nothing else.

      I'm tenacious and logical; I won't kill myself as long as there's a chance at improvement. I'm an invalid defined by experiential suffering; I should end this indignity and be at peace.

      At least it's the happiest time of the day again. I can take my pills and dream.
       
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    25. GBB

      GBB Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Microsuction / Additional Acoustic Trauma in Close Proximity
    26. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
    27. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      How close does the train go by your house, @GBB???
       
    28. Ava Lugo

      Ava Lugo Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/03/19
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Virus
      I wish I could punch the old me for taking life for granted. I had nothing to complain about back then...
       
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    29. Chinmoku

      Chinmoku Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown, possibly medication
      So sorry you have reverted to bad tinnitus. You raise a set of very good questions. I think nerves and the brain might be playing a role, and memory as well. IIRC more than 90% of the brain is the subconscious part, God knows what happens there. Who knows, the noise stimulus might trigger a wrong prediction algorithm in the brain and you hear a jet engine. Or it could be a nerve problem.

      I face the same difficulty from day 1. It started with a ear infection but then took a life of its own. It keeps getting worse and no one has any idea why so I'm running through the same questions.
       
    30. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      What pills do you have?

      So many "experts" here think they know everything. Is there any other health condition like tinnitus in which both doctor and patient don't know anything about it? I don't think so.

      No one knows if spikes are temporary or permanent. No one really knows why you get spikes at all? Or what (noises/sounds?) causes them?

      Imho, suicide is inevitable to me. It scares me in many ways. My left ear suddenly started having pain as I type this.

      I don't think researchers will have anything noteworthy as a treatment any time soon. Most people have that fantasy because they need to cling to hope. If there was a chance at all, something would be leaked, incidents of such treatment helping someone and it would be posted here. In years of people posting here about treatments, nothing has been leaked here. No progress. Absolutely nothing.
       

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