Suicidal

Discussion in 'Support' started by jeremy06, Oct 14, 2018.

    1. MattS
      Relaxed

      MattS Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Power Tools
      How are you coping Owl? Has it desisted at all?

      Do you know what caused your tinnitus to keep escalating? Was there a known reason? Or it's just been a constant, gradual increase?
       
    2. MattS
      Relaxed

      MattS Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Power Tools
      Yes, I would think that you'd prefer muscle pain. Not that nerve pain is impossible to resolve (but it's slower to heal, for sure), but muscle spasming is almost certainly resolvable.

      I'm not a medical doctor, so my knowledge is only partial/armchair, but from what I would expect:

      * Ice should freeze nerves, but stiffen muscles. In either case you might get some immediate relief from ice, but I might expect it to be long term unhelpful if it's muscular.

      * Heat should get nerves firing, but loosen muscles. So if heat helps, even a little bit, I think that might point more towards a muscular issue.

      It's hard to know for sure of course. But I think the fact that it's spreading to your jaw/check is also good indication of muscular. I don't know that I'd expect nerve pain to "spread" like that.

      And then, of course, stress/anxiety keeps muscles tense. So... you know... try, try, try to relax. Easier said than done, I know. But how sucky would it be if you're contributing to your own suffering by tensing up further? So do anything you can to relax. Take a bath, out your head underwater, listen to the sound currents underwater (I personally find this really soothing), breathe deeply, breathe deeply again, try yoga, or meditation, or a relaxation app. Anything... whatever you can do to relax yourself. I don't for a second believe that tinnitus is due to stress... but it absolutely can exacerbate symptoms.

      You could also ask your doctor about muscle relaxants. I have no idea if they are safe with tinnitus or not... so you would have to do your homework. But if they are, maybe that would be a good option. They are far less toxic than nerve pain meds, not addictive... If you think there's a chance it's muscular, may be worth a shot.

      Hope that helps.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    3. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I had fluctuating tinnitus. I think it was somewhat similar to Michael's but no pattern to the fluctuation and periods of mild tinnitus was really brief ranging from a few minutes to an hour but they kept getting shorter and more rare. It doesn't happen anymore.

      Yeah, I guess so but I also feel like the tones are in my head too. The tones are more blended in. I can tell some are different but before the different ones were more obvious.

      I find it difficult to do anything I need to do or go anywhere. The ear pain makes everything worse. Not only is there extremely loud tones, there's several tones and my ear is in pain. There's fullness and the occasional clicking. I plan on buying chelated magnesium tomorrow. I should have bought it already but like I said...
       
    4. Jazzer

      Jazzer Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      1/1995
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Star - a very special post. xx
      Those of us with really loud constant severity are the most reluctant of heroes.
      Thank you for giving us the recognition we all deserve.
      Now more than ever - I live for the beautiful people around me - my wonderful wife and family, and my three adorable pussycats.
      You never spoke a truer word Star.
      Dave x
      Jazzer
       
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    5. GORYLUCK

      GORYLUCK Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2000
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud sounds
      So some of the pain is from grinding your teeth at night....(?) Like me...dammit
      Have you tried cbd/thc oil ? Meant to be superb for pain relief...some peeps use it as a more effective alternative to opiates... And it'd probably knock you out and give you a better nights sleepo_O I hear it's legal in Canada now.
       
    6. Star64
      Kick ass

      Star64 Member

      Location:
      Melbourne Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      2001
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      I do not want anyone to suffer Harley, but I hope you stay completely rational, so that time never comes for you..:huganimation:
       
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    7. HootOwl

      HootOwl Member Benefactor

      Location:
      California
      Tinnitus Since:
      2009
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Explanation in About You
      I don’t know if I would even call it coping. More like drifting. Nothing has changed since the severe shift a week ago. And it was instant. I was listening to my fan and then suddenly it got super loud with a distorted whistle on top of it. Instantaneous. Then I went into the shower and realized the water was distorted and also painful. Outside same thing with the light wind and traffic noise.

      I believe it was an acute acoustic trauma but I realize now that I had a massive fever at the exact same time and my ETs for the first time in my life are making this horrible loud crunch when I swallow. I’ve always been able to click them at will but this is very different.

      I couldn’t even rustle the toilet paper the reactivity was so bad. And even turning my head against the pillow causes the volume to instantly spike and then die back down.

      Before this I had moderate/severe tinnitus but this is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I don’t know how much longer I can go on. I just don’t understand what happened to me or where the damage actually is.
       
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    8. HootOwl

      HootOwl Member Benefactor

      Location:
      California
      Tinnitus Since:
      2009
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Explanation in About You
      And I suppose on a very scared and cowardly level I just want to be told it will be okay. Like a kid being told by their mom that everything will be alright. It makes me feel worthless and pathetic.

      I’m clinging to hope for all of these upcoming treatments but then I think, what if I’m the unlucky one. What if I’m the one where nothing works for. And it destroys me.
       
      • Hug Hug x 8
    9. Lurius
      Wishful

      Lurius Member

      Location:
      Oslo, Norway
      Tinnitus Since:
      September 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown, but probably stress
      I actually felt just like that in the first 6-7 months. So you're definitely not alone. And not being a kid anymore doesn't mean we're immune to fear. You shouldn't feel ashamed for reverting back to childlike state, your mind is probably confused and tries to figure out whats going on. It would only be natural to feel fear, even though its uncomfortable as hell.
       
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    10. Jazzer

      Jazzer Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      1/1995
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Hi - I’ll just mention that I write a piece relevant to this called:

      “How to Cure Bruxism.”

      Dave x
      Jazzer
       
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    11. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      It's only been a week, consider it a temporary spike.
       
    12. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Where?
       
    13. FGG

      FGG Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Multi-factorial
      My ex husband told me I was "acting like a child" and he would have handled it so much better. Oh and this gem too: people don't 'wallow in self pity' for months no matter what the circumstance unless they have mental illness. They attempt to rise above.

      Honestly, I don't know if people who say these things really believe them or if they want to excuse their callous and even cruel behaviour to loved ones that suddenly need them.
       
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    14. HootOwl

      HootOwl Member Benefactor

      Location:
      California
      Tinnitus Since:
      2009
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Explanation in About You
      That’s absolutely inexcusable. I’d like to strap a loud, entirely unmaskable 9k tone to his ear and see if he can “rise above it” so easily. Shit himself is right.
       
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    15. linearb
      Psychedelic

      linearb Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      temporarily banished from this plane of existence.
      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      karma
      i just wanted to mention that I have TMJ, use a night guard and also a lot of thc/cbd and I think cannabinoids make me more likely to clench and grind at night. They do make sleep come very very easily, though
       
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    16. Jazzer

      Jazzer Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      1/1995
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      In the search line just put in:
      “How to cure Bruxism.”

      I had TMJ pain for years, until I saw a therapist who recognised and diagnosed it.
      She got me to understand how a clenched jaw was causing the pain in my temples.
      She essentially cured me in one session.
      If you read the post I have pointed out, you will understand that the teeth should never be closed except around food when eating.
      Become a - “soft mouth jaw hangar.”

      If you can adopt this discipline throughout the day you will almost certainly adopt the same position subconsciously in your sleep.

      Please let me know if it works for you.

      Dave x
      Jazzer
       
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    17. Jazzer

      Jazzer Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      1/1995
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      FGH - ignorant - callous - appalling!!
      Thank goodness he is your Ex.
      This awful syndrome you are coping with would likely have destroyed him.

      Great big hugs to you,

      Dave x
      Jazzer
       
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    18. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I don't know. Maybe? Even if it is, unless it is the only cause of my ear pain, I don't know if I can treat it or prevent the ear pain from reoccurring.

      It's in a lot of pain recently. I am really miserable today. My right ear pain subsided but the left ear has been in pain what seems like more than 30 days of various severity.

      I would like to try CBD oil but I recall it was fairly expensive. I hate my life and I think about how to end it every day.
       
    19. arctic loon
      Dreaming

      arctic loon Member

      Location:
      Finland
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud music
      @PeteJ have you considered if you have pain hyperacusis? Since you live in a noisy area, your ears can't rest and therefore the pain is chronic. Just my hypothesis... Does you ear pain react to sounds?

      With hyperacusis it's possible for the pain to irradiate on your facial nerves too. I've experienced it multiple times. Pain hyperacusis often gets misdiagnosed as TMJD - while it's of course possible you have both conditions simultaneously or only other one.
       
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    20. Star64
      Kick ass

      Star64 Member

      Location:
      Melbourne Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      2001
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      Glad you stated ex husband in the opening of your post.

      Good riddance I say ;)
       
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    21. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Besides ear pain and the pain around the cheek bone right under my ear, I have ear fullness. I mentioned that before? I can't take this much longer. What does ear fullness indicate? Does ear fullness heal? Sorry to keep posting this but this is agony.

      Something is abnormally wrong with my left ear. What is so disconcerting is how long this has persisted for.

      So no doctor can do anything about it, right? I don't understand why an ear would get fullness for this long.
       
    22. Star64
      Kick ass

      Star64 Member

      Location:
      Melbourne Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      2001
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      The correlation between tinnitus and TMJ is a given, but has anyone ever undertaken a poll to see who had TMJ say prior to tinnitus or after the onset of tinnitus by Tinnitus Talk members?

      I had TMJ prior and it probably played a part in my tinnitus but the major player was noise.

      I know you are currently taking Clonazepam, has this not helped your clenching? The benzo certainly relaxed me and induced sleep easy, plus it also stopped me from clenching and grinding. Now I am back to hot and cold compresses I cannot stand to wear my guard as I do not sleep well when using it. Insomnia is pretty bad at the moment due to withdrawal I am sure you can relate to that :arghh:
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
    23. linearb
      Psychedelic

      linearb Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      temporarily banished from this plane of existence.
      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      karma
      Pete, ear fullness is a commonplace sign of TMJ.

      https://www.emedicinehealth.com/temporomandibular_joint_tmj_syndrome/article_em.htm
      http://www.tinnitusjournal.com/articles/relationship-between-otological-symptoms-and-tmd-10364.html
      Emphasis mine.

      From all your posts and symptoms, you are a walking TMJ machine.

      Bite guards that work well are hit or miss and are very expensive.

      This book is NOT very expensive, and has enough self-management tips that many never go on to need a bite guard: http://amazon.com/gp/product/1572241268/

      @PeteJ I really, really think you should read the first few chapters of this book and do all the exercises suggested for 2-3 weeks and see where that gets you. If $19.99 is a financial burden for you (and there is no shame in that, at all!) I would be happy to buy a copy of this book off Amazon and send it to you. If you are not comfortable giving me your mailing address, which I would completely understand, I would be happy to use a middleman like @Markku if they were willing.

      I really think that your symptom complex is some mess of tinnitus -> anxiety -> stress -> tmj -> other symptoms like ear fullness -> more stress -> more anxiety -> more noticing of other symptoms -> more stress...


      .... you have to break the chain. No one can do it for you, but we're rooting for you.
       
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    24. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      But, the ear pain is not from stress or anxiety. It would lessen if the ear pain would stop and stay away.

      I perceive the tinnitus as a separate issue even if there is actually a relationship between the two. Although it is a physical problem, I don't 'feel the tinnitus' as the sensation of ear fullness and ear pain is physical pain that I can't do anything about.

      NSAIDs and Tylenol don't help and I am afraid to take too many as it is due to potential ototoxic affect.

      Constant and persistent ear pain at a severe level is worrisome and the suffering is too much. I pray that it will heal or heal with a proper mouthguard and/or treating TMJ if that's what is going on.

      You are correct: it's sad and pitiful but even $20 is a lot of money.
       
    25. Greg Sacramento

      Greg Sacramento Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      syringing and now somatic T dental work
      I was able to solve my ear pain completely that relates to TMJ.
      Also solved burning mouth, over production of salvia, hyperacusis, high thyroid levels (now back to normal) and some neck problems.

      I still have problems with C spine including C1 and C2, TMJ / oral and carotid artery. TMJ and oral will take more time.

      My vision in left eye is now going. Seeing large spiders. This seems to be intercranial hypertension - pseudotumor cerebri causing PT. This probably was caused from too much CT radiation and too much vitamin A, glucose and sodium - and not enough Vitamin D. My sodium levels are within range, but for me they need to be in low range.

      Most problems can be solved, but my new vision problems may be permanent.
       
      • Hug Hug x 5
    26. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      I just want to commit suicide so this ear pain will end.
       
    27. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      My dog barked while sitting on the couch. I can't do this anymore.

      If the pain would stop by ripping my ear off I would. The only way to stop the pain is to kill myself.

      No one believes me that the pain is that bad.

      I bet no one believed that lady in the Netherlands.
       
    28. MattS
      Relaxed

      MattS Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Power Tools
      Pete, take @linearb up on his offer.
       
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    29. arctic loon
      Dreaming

      arctic loon Member

      Location:
      Finland
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud music
      Read this article:
      https://hearinghealthfoundation.org/blogs/ears-on-fire

      This man was misdiagnosed with TMJ first. Just saying, don't ignore the possibility of having pain hyperacusis because if u do, you have to change your lifestyle fast to stop it from progressing.
       
      • Helpful Helpful x 2
    30. linearb
      Psychedelic

      linearb Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      temporarily banished from this plane of existence.
      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      karma
      dude, we believe you, but you seem to be unwilling or incapable of actually following literally any of the advice anyone has given you.

      I think that if you address your TMJ issues, your ear pain and fullness will, to some extent, get better. Also, since much of TMJ self-management boils down to "anxiety and distress management", I think that if you followed the protocols outlined in that book I linked for about 3-4 weeks, you will feel better to some extent.

      So, you can keep doing what you're doing and going around in circles, but I've outlined a pretty clear path (as have others) towards some relief, and instead of taking any of this advice you just make the same "I am in pain, I want to die" posts over and over.

      We believe you're in pain. We believe you feel like you want to die. Since you're still here, your "not die" instinct, so far, is stronger.

      Please follow literally any of the advice people have given you here for managing your distress and TMJ. If you really did the protocols in that book for even just 3-4 weeks, which will take you like 60 mins reading and then ~10 mins a day, I would be shocked if you didn't see improvement in your ear pain and and fullness.

      All that said, I am a broken record @PeteJ -- this is in your hands now. If you start trying to work a TMJ program and have problems or questions about it, I'll be very happy to discuss my own experience.

      If, after all this, you continue to just basically do nothing to help yourself and just make the same feedback loop posts -- I am sorry, I cannot provide any more comfort or help, I believe strongly that TMJ is contributing to your problems and I have "led the horse to water", so to speak.

       
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