Suicidal

The technician was incompetent and I am not sure if you put in a complaint about your awful experience but you should have.

Nobody should be left in an MRI without a panic button and there is good obvious reason for this. All procedures should be explained thoroughly to the patient, that is their job. It does not matter how much a person is being paid in healthcare to do a job, but for the record in Australia technicians get a good wage, around 90,000 Aussie dollars.

That being said an aircraft engineer gets less than a pilot but I would hate to see what happens if the aircraft engineer failed to do his job properly.

I am very sorry you were treated so badly, but I do hope you can forgive yourself as it was not your fault

 

My tinnitus has been unmaskable from day one. Could hear it in the bus, train, near a busy road, under my umbrella on a heavily rainy day, on a busy street, supermarket, etc. Loud hissing electric noise and a thick pure tone on top.

Despite this I have gone through periods of time in which I completely forgot about it or my emotional/psychological response to it was zero. My tinnitus has also seen heavy fluctuations during these four years. From 1 to 10 in a 0/10 scale from one day to another. All in all I was able to keep working and managed to enjoy my life despite feeling cursed and inferior to the people around me.

Then, more than one month ago, this junk woke me up one morning having multiplied its volume by 3. I panicked and my levels of anxiety went off the roof. I wasn't able to trace a triggering factor. Had a bad back and took Diazepam during five days. No more than 6/7 5mgs pills in total. Was that the reason of the worsening? Went to a pub for five minutes where people were shouting, loud music (not so loud) etc (I ask myself if no one there gets tinnitus why mine has to worsen because of being there) Also drank miso soup several times a day during that week. Miso soup has high concentrations of salt. Thing is my tinnitus has been unbearably loud for more than one month now with just a couple of "good" days. Don't see myself getting habituated to this new level of suffering. What's the point in doing it?

 

Here's is my update. Went to a neuro center - 8 hours of exams - for loss of sight in left eye.

This is on the web - too much vitamin A can cause heart palpitations and PVC. Both can also cause eye problems - (vision and swelling) and then floaters and spiders.

NAC - {600 mg daily} can cause blurred vision, eye pain, puffy eyes, itching/redness/irritation in eyes (ophthalmic formulation)
Too much Vitamin A {2500 IU daily} - can cause papilledema that leads to floaters. Also intercranial hypertension or other types of thrombosis and jugular vein / carotid artery problems. All this is considered a cause of pulsatile tinnitus.

I received head, neck and mouth injuries about 3 years ago and got somatic tinnitus. Then I developed pulsatile tinnitus and intercranial hypertension. It wasn't until I started to loose eye sight, almost now blind in left eye - from papilledema with floaters and spikers. All of this increased from eating too much watermelon, melon and salmon - all containing vitamin A - plus using NAC. I had repeat heart echo and ultrasound of jugular and carotid and results were consistent with diet and vitamin increases. Interesting is that the neuro staff of the medical inhouse center said that all with PT have some carotid activities and this is where all PT sound develops from. I have a study, that also discusses this and IH.



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All this sounds scary to me. I suffered blurred vision due to a reaction to medication and I worry about things getting worse. I was going to take NAC, but I'm now reluctant to do so.

I feel tinnitus and blurred vision are only the start of the many side effects I will suffer due to prolonged use of ADs.

 

Yes see... I have anger only at this particular “technician,” or should I call her a McTech because her skill level was of the fast food industry.

I have my last appointment at the orthopedic today, and I actually have some anxiety even thinking about going... I guess from the life altering experience I had there. I made mention to the MRI scheduler, and my regular doctor (who has never had an MRI) that the first thing they should mention is the loudness. Everyone of them is clueless. However, I also feel stupid in that about half the people I talk to say, “yeah they’re loud.” Others say, they didn’t think it was loud enough to pass along. How did I miss these important memos in life? Grr.

I want royalties from the book and movie!

 

Hang in there... a lot of us on are the same boat... in very rough seas.

I am also personally in the same situation but believe that the body and mind will ultimately adjust... time is an essential component today... a component different for us all. I have been in a dire place before... unfortunately not as bad as today... but I felt likewise last time and ultimately managed to habituate... I believe I will again... I will need more patience and more resolve.

Be strong you can do it.

 

So many of your comments sound exactly like how I think. Do you ever feel like tinnitus has impaired your ability to learn new information or think clearly? This devastates me. I sometimes imagine people in very early stage dementia might feel like this.

 

Most definitely yes.
I find it hard to focus on anything, which translates into not being able to think clearly and I also have hard time with absorbing new information.

For example, I used to be very fond of my ability to speed read, as I would have no issues finishing average sized book within 3-4 hours (sometimes even less).
Nowadays, my reading comprehension is roughly at the level of a 6 year old, as I struggle to process the words, due to the insane head noise.

 

ADs?

 

ADs = Antidepressants.

 

I don't know. Like you I suffer uncountable losses.

 

I honestly do not believe you did anything wrong with a 5 mg diazepam. I hate all of them and unless someone has severe insomnia I would not advise anyone to take them daily. But that's one of the mildest (no matter 2 mg or 5 mg) so no, I don't think you did anything wrong by taking them for a week. But can you try some kind of mild detox anyway like green tea, drinks containing aloe vera, vitamin b just in case? Don't give up man, you were my idol when you came up with the idea about a bunch of people renting a room in the same house in Dublin and stuff. I already imagined a small tinnitus community camping around. Play your minimal at minimum volume and stay cool. I wish your sound went back to a level that does not disturb you.

 

As already posted, anti-depressants. Prozac/Fluoxetine to be exact. I originally went on it for OCD. I was given CBT at the same time and given a pass to a gym. Looking back I really wish I had not been put on the Prozac and had just been offered the CBT/gym. I wish I could remember the conversation wth the GP about going on Prozac, but alas I can't. I have almost never drank alcohol in my life, have never smoked, have never done illegal drugs and never really used aspirin that much, so I am disappointed in myself for having gone on Prozac. But like I said I don't remember the conversation with the GP, so it might have been put across to me as some harmless substance. I just don't know.

I have tried to come off the stuff 5 times, with this last time ending with me going pretty much manic and leading to the events where I got tinnitus and blurred eyes. I don't really remember the other attempts to come off of it, but I presume I was feeling good and didn't want to be dependent on it so tried coming off of it. I was probably not given any in-depth advice though of how to come off of it or given something to take it's place, i.e. CBT or whatever.

It seems once it has been in the system for long enough it is very hard to come off it without ill effect. In some ways it has made me a junkie in that I am now dependent on it (not to control OCD, but because my body now 'craves' it). I hate the whole situation. I realise that it isn't addictive in the true sense of the word, but due to the difficulty getting off of it I feel like an addict.

I really feel it has messed up my nervous system; both the drug and attempts to come off of it. I really fear lots of side effects in the coming years. One option would be to try to come off again over a very long period of time and with CBT or whatever in place to help me through the withdrawal, but after the last attempt it's a scary thought to have to go through all that again.

For me anti-depressants are the devil's work and should only be used as a last resort and in extreme cases (it saddens me to see Fluoxetine on WHO's list of essential medicines). In the long run they cause more harm than good, and many prescribing GPs have no idea about the consequences as they have bought into the whole marketing blurb of the drug manufacturers; that and they may be paid per prescription they prescribe, and giving pills is probably cheaper and easier in the long run than talking therapies, natural remedies etc. And the fact they don't want to hear or believe anything bad about their god - pharmacology.

For me, long term use of Prozac has led to a change in character for the worse, a change in my moral compass, an increase in aggression, becoming more arrogant and now, due to a GP's cockup, blurred vision and tinnitus (although could have /probably occured due to being combined with another drug). I fully expect many neurological problems in the future as I feel I have become way more prone to side effects. Anything is now possible, e.g. stroke etc.

Unless a drug comes out to treat/cure tinnitus, I never want to put another drug into my body. But I will probably still be on Prozac in 10 years time. That or dead and the continued use of Prozac is possibly still having an adverse affect on my hearing.

In all, life has now become a thing to survive rather than a thing to enjoy. Existing just to exist sucks big time. My life, and therefore the life of my wife and children, has totally changed due to my last withdrawal attempts and me getting tinnitus.

What do you make of this: https://qz.com/1162154/30-years-aft...ie-that-chemical-imbalances-cause-depression/

 

ADs should definitely be used as a last resort.
But doctors seem to be handing them out like candy on Halloween.

@Lane would most likely be the perfect person to talk to as far as getting off them and trying alternatives?

 

Lane gave me advice earlier in the thread. I'm so wary about even trying to come off again. Can't undo 22 years of damage anyway. But imagine if i live for another 22 years? I think with time things will definitely get worse.

GPs should not be allowed to give this stuff out. They play with these chemicals. I will never trust a dr again. Fuck, in the UK, the country's worst serial killer was a GP. Killed 100s of people.

Big pharma and the so-called health system have a lot to answer for too. Where is the humanity in these people?

 

Humanity always seems to be pushed aside by money and profits.

I had read this many times in the past and from several sources, that drug companies give GP's bonuses or incentives, if they prescribe certain target amounts of their brand of medications.
I have no reason to doubt any of it.

 

I think part of the problem is (at least in the US) doctors can't admit when they can't help you at all. Combine that with a crunch for time since they are expected to see X number of patients per hour because it is profit driven as well as insurance reimburses doctors by the patient--not by the hour--and you have a reason to give patients something to get them out the door. Whether that something helps them or not or even if it hurts them in the long run. To add to the problem, drug companies give doctors incentives to write scripts for their drugs.

I think in Europe the problem might be similar but the "time crunch" probably comes from a high patient:doctor ratio instead.

 

In the UK a GP is supposed to only give a patient 10 minutes.

To be fair mine gave me much more... and still fucked up.

 

It depends on the doctor though. Mine is really conservative and is only willing to try certain drugs. Other people on here and some I talked to in real life seem to get what they want or at least have more options.

 

I might use the rest of the week to join a suicide site. My inability to figure out a plan is taking too long. I am ready. Tinnitus is too loud and I can't concentrate. I need assistance because I don't know what people mean when they say it's easy.

 

I’ve been living with severe tinnitus for 10 years, amongst other things. A high pitch ring. I’ve gone through periods of coping with it ok, and periods of insanity. I’m currently having worsening of symptoms. Bubbling pounding feeling in one ear. I’m at my wits' end. I’m tired of suffering.

 

My left ear pain just intensified/worsened.

I don't know why. Pain is mostly ear canal area. WHY?!? I have been in my apartment the entire time. I had a nap 4 hours ago. Lasted about 1 hr or so.

No pain went I got up but fulness feeling and now, 7:30, the pain is severe. Also, there is pain in the cheek bone beside the ear.

This is what I go through. The pain is severe again. Using a hot wash cloth. Does crap. Some outside noise, a few sirens but that happens regularly and my pain didn't change til now.

I hate this fucking life!

 

10 years... you’re so strong for living through severe tinnitus for that long. I hope it gets easier for you/that there’s something that can bring relief. Have you had ear wax removed recently? Take supplements? Have you had any noise trauma lately?

 

Going on 9 years for me. Diagnosed with severe tinnitus from the onset. My tinnitus has not gotten better, in fact in some respects it's gotten worse, but like you I've learned to cope with it. I say this over & over, what gets me through the bad days is the hope for a better day tomorrow.

 

Spot on Harley it is true

I was offered a job with a Big Pharma Company years ago which I declined for many reasons, but I can tell you it paid reasonably well. They wanted to try and get nurses on board as they felt Drs would take more notice if a nurse was promoting a medication.

The bonuses they were offering if you could get the Dr to prescribe their brand of medication had also a very generous incentive component to your wage, and believe me Drs got kick backs too.

It is a corrupt industry that is for sure. I spoke with a medical Dr today and he said he is so disillusioned by the medical profession and how people fail to realize that Big Pharma actually control it. He stated it is impossible to even believe much of clinical research because that too is influenced by Big Pharma.

He is retiring at the end of the year, and he said if he had his time over again he would have chosen a different profession.

Look up Marcia Angell, she was a former long time editor of the New England Journal of Medicine, she has been saying this for years.

 

I can understand your worry about trying to come off the antidepressant as it certainly would not be easy, but it can be done. However, it would knock you around a fair bit and that is something only you can decide as I know you have had failed attempts before. So many people have trouble ceasing them but Drs rarely mention this aspect to people.

@Lane has posted so many articles about different things that may help tinnitus, believe me a scammer is making money off some of the things that lane has informed people about for free.

I have posted this link for you to read, I think it is very accurate.
https://www.crossfit.com/essentials/marcia-angell-on-psychiatry-and-pharma

 

Sorry to hear about your experience specially with Lenire device, but let me try to figure out something which might help a little bit to understand.

1. While using the Lenire device did you feel that actually the volume output by the device was too loud, and you tried to put it down but it couldn’t go down to a certain level? So the option you had was just to keep listening!
2. Did you go back for the first review in 6 weeks time and did they change the tone and / or put the volume down for you?
3. Is your tinnitus mainly tonal or hissing?

 

This says it all really, but all too late for me:

"Freedom of Information Act requests showed that the majority of trials testing antidepressant drugs approved between 1987 and 1999 (Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Celexa, Serzone, and Effexor) were negative, and in sum, placebos were 82% as effective."

 

I would also like to come off mine but I am stuck.

From past experience, if I lower the dosage the tinnitus goes up to unbearable level. Even assuming I can get to zero with monster tinnitus AND all the other horrible pains the pregabalin reduction would give me (you have experienced some of them with Clonazepam withdrawal, Star), what do I do if the tinnitus does not calm down once I hit zero and stay there a few days/weeks? In that scenario, going back on the drug (that would be needed to survive) is not guaranteed to lower it again.

The other option is staying on the drug or even increasing dosage further, but that is scary. Staying on the current dosage does not go well, tinnitus keeps slowly worsening anyway, not as fast as when the drug is reduced though. It's like if I am experiencing side effects and withdrawal symptoms at the same time, it worsens one way or the other.

The other possibility is actually that tinnitus is worsening in its own right for some other reason and the drug has little to do with that. In this case I should probably keep taking it to stay calm, although it's now affecting also my eyes and muscles.

What a mess. How I wish I had never taken this drug to start with. It will be the end of me.

 

You are where I am!!

Today my tinnitus is the worst it has ever been. I'm having one constant panic attack as my ears scream. The screaming came first and then the panic. This is unbearable.