Suicidal

Actually I'm not sure about "extreme" tinnitus... just "severe" tinnitus could take about 2-3.
I don't think extreme tinnitus can be habituated.
And how do you tell what is extreme tinnitus? Is it like if you say SHHHHH pretty loudly - like when you're shooshing somebody... that's how extreme tinnitus feels like but in your ears/head...

 

Oh wow, thank you so much for this in-depth reply! Seriously so helpful. Yeah, I can relate when you say you noticed improvement when it didn't escalate to that full on 10/10 burning feeling. In January I would get that and I've improved to the point where that's mostly subsided but it's a bit of a rollercoaster. A few days ago the warm liquidy sensation returned, much to my frustration and panic but today everything seems to have calmed down a bit so I'm feeling more optimistic. I've been using plugs (musician's earplugs) when outside and I've been very cautious about noise so taking comfort in the fact that what I'm going through is likely just the natural ebb and flow of symptoms that accompanies the unpredictable beast that is hyperacusis. I also get the feeling of pressure in my face - numbness and tingling.

I think making a post in the hyperacusis support section would be SO helpful and reassuring for so many people. Even just reading this and having validation that other people have experienced the exact same thing has really boosted my mood. Thank you so much.

 

Mine is at a much higher frequency than a human "shhhh" and has a quality of urgency / alarm to it. It's almost painful to listen to. Impossible to ignore, even for a second. When it was more moderate I could ignore it for minutes, but now it's impossible. I hear it all the time

EDIT you are killing all my hopes, I was hoping it could be possible to habituate even to this horror given enough time but I keep getting worse and worse

 

You are going through a rough time, your CNS is fragile at the moment, it may take some time for things to settle down. DO NOT LOSE HOPE! I am holding on to it for all of us

 

@Chinmoku, @Star64 is a good resource. She knows a lot about this kind of tinnitus personally from what I have gathered on this site. It can take a long time with neurotransmitter issues but it's not hopeless.

 

I love @Star64 and I love you @FGG . You are both wonderful. It's just that nothing will tame this worsening monster. I desperately need relief, even just 1h

 

One way you can test if noises are causing this for you is to protect your ears for like 2 or 3 days when going out. Just with ear plugs. That way you can determine it’s from noise. Have you ruled out TMJ?

 

I just meant loudness wise, since we cannot reproduce this sound with our mouths...
I have many tones, one is around 7 kHz, another some lower eeeeeeee, lower warbling tones... Morse tones...
It's quite a cacophony in both ears...

Hearing it all the time - I heard it all the time since day 1 in 2011... but I got used to it to a large extent... but... it got worse due to carelessness on my part.

 

If you want to escape for a reason other than tinnitus, then you should post this on whatever forum that deals with your condition, no?

 

Thanks so much for describing your experience in such detail. I hope your recovery continues and you have even better days ahead

 

You want hope? Read Telis's thread about his fasting recovery.

 

If you put your neck on the rail then yes 100%.

 

@Contrast has more friends here.

 

Do you think "other forums" would allow criticism of the elite psychologist who get all the NIH grants?

 

Palliative websites that focus on quality of life definitely give helpful advice when they talk about CBT, yoga and nature walks. But they are always dead quiet on the issues of applying for disability income. If they cared about the patients quality of life, they'd mention that. As well as ways to fund biomedical research so they'll be hope for better treatments one day as science advances.

Why can't we live in a world like that?

 

I feel so sad today. Before tinnitus I was already struggling so much. With work, with friendships & feeling lonely, relationships, self-esteem issues and hating the way I look.

Then I get stuck with a condition that completely isolated me from society. The few things that brought me happiness were music and traveling. Both have been taken away from me.

This condition is cruel. Hyperacusis is truly so cruel, 3 and a half months and my mind still hasn’t been able to accept it.

I know I should be staying away from Tt but I feel so alone and isolated from everything and everyone. I’m too exhausted to even cry anymore. I’m so tired of having to turn down trips, celebrations, any kind of event most people look forward to I am now afraid of.

All this stress has brought back another chronic health issue which I thought I had finally recovered from and now I’m in even more pain daily. Like a rollercoaster of pain and misery I can’t get off of.

 

I'm quoting myself. I wanna put my neck on a rail.
I cannot go on... dropped glass bottles on the tile omg just shoot me now.

 

Took 500 mg nac. Gonna stay up all night.

 

My tinnitus is extremely loud so it's another problem to isolate the loud tinnitus with ear plugs. Thus, no masking at all.

Also, I live in a loud area. There is mo sound proofing. There are sirens, loud trucks and trains that go by twice a day. Are these close and loud enough to cause pain? There's nothing I can do about it. Even with the windows shut, the noises aren't muffled very much. I am trying to move to a different area of the building and applied to other buildings elsewhere but it will likely be a long time. I can't work with this and I am on a fixed income because of this so I can't just move anywhere.

Suicide is the only way I can end this.

 

No one cares, Contrast.

I hate when people pretend they are so empathetic and humanitarian. People are such liars, so hypocritical and such phonies.

 

I try to be really careful. I don't use any glasses. I either drink out of the jug or use plastic bottles. I do use ceramic plates but I am careful. Running the faucet bothers me sometimes. It's mostly outside or external noises that bother me. I am not sure which ones cause me pain and there is usually a delay before the pain suddenly occurs. If multiple noises happen before the pain, how can I know which one caused it?

I sometimes put muffs on if I hear a noise start outside or if I will do something inside that will probably be noisy.

 

Yes, thats the right idea. Minimize risk.
I think our tinnitus is very similar from how you have described it.
I think we are the only couple of people in Ontario who have very severe tinnitus.
In 10 years on my life on Tinnitus Talk, there's been only 1 other person from here, and he/she is probably dead (ex member Ninyu) was from Toronto.
Quite a few with moderate tinnitus...

 

Ugh. After a good day yesterday the ear symptoms are back - mostly the liquidy/warm menthol sensation. No obvious trigger for it either. Although my ears don't feel full or stuffy any longer but it's highly distracting. Just have to accept that it's the normal up and downs of recovery but it's still difficult. Anxiety is pretty bad today as a result.

 

I have not. I was wondering if it’s associated with me spending a lot of my time in front of a computer screen.

 

I am experiencing the same exact thing! I had a decent day yesterday, could even tolerate people in my office. Then today out of nowhere right when I get to the office 5 minutes in and my ear starts burning and everyone is sooo loud. It’s so hard to describe the sensation but it’s just like i feel like my ear no longer has a buffer for noises.

 

You're bang on when you say it feels like your ear lacks a 'buffer' for noises - my ears feels weirdly naked and vulnerable haha. I keep on reminding myself that it's more important to look at the monthly progression rather than getting wound up over day-to-day fluctuations but it's easier said than done. I've got an ENT appointment next week - not expecting much tbh but I really hope they take me seriously and at least document my symptoms so, if nothing else, the ENT is alerted to the fact that painful hyperacusis exists. Also got a flight on the 20th and already freaking out - I've flown before, when my hyperacusis was 'in remission' using musicians' plugs and didn't experience any issues, but now that it's acting up who knows.

 

Same, but it’s so hard when new symptoms appear. It’s not really a set back but just something new. Well I guess it is a setback but yeah

I’m also seeing an audiologist soon to at least get my LDL tested so family and friends will believe me and my suffering. If my mom tells me it’s allergies or anxiety one more time I’m going to have to cut off contact completely.

 

Yeah like she cares to know what LDL is...

 

She’ll care if I get a diagnosis from a doctor.

 

I am in SO much pain today. Lord help me make it through this day in this broken vessel.