Forever hopeful
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Forever hopeful

Member, Female, from USA

Never had anxiety till tinnitus. No hope now. Oct 6, 2022 at 1:50 AM

Forever hopeful was last seen:
Oct 7, 2022 at 3:45 AM
    1. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Never had anxiety till tinnitus. No hope now.
      1. NYCGuy likes this.
      2. BrOKeN_1
        BrOKeN_1
        I'm afraid this is untrue. Anxiety effects everybody. Your just going through a particularly rough patch. It's going to take time and a whole lot of patience and self love. I believe it will settle. These are words I have to tell myself in the mirror every day. You will get through this. WE. Will get through this.
        Oct 6, 2022 at 2:34 AM
      3. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        @BrOKeN_1 It’s a theory from a neuroscientist who has been studying T for years and why some people W/HL have no T and others have T and no real HL.I am aware of the theory that the gating system is faulty in people who have T. It was the way he talked about people with depression and anxiety as if it was a causative factor on why they hear T and not other as if anxiety and depression predispose you to T.
        Oct 6, 2022 at 1:18 PM
      4. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        @BrOKeN_1 Interestingly both of my parents have anxiety. Both of my parents have hearing loss. My father’s is occupational, my mother’s is age related. Neither one of them have T. Go figure.
        Oct 6, 2022 at 1:22 PM
    2. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Episode 1. It was informative but I never felt so broken in my life. Broken brain. Anxious brain leads to tinnitus.
      1. Joe Cuber
        Joe Cuber
        I wanted to tell you that when I described what I was going through (T, anxiety, depression) to my brother, he said, "You have a broken brain, Joe. I had a broken brain too. You need help to fix your brain."
        Oct 6, 2022 at 7:16 AM
        Forever hopeful likes this.
      2. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        I was not depressed or anxious before getting T. Our gating system is broken for some reason. My parents both have HL. No T. They both have anxiety. Why is their gating system working and not mine?
        Oct 6, 2022 at 12:15 PM
        Joe Cuber likes this.
    3. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Been listening to the podcasts. I liked them so far except……
    4. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Ambulance was about 200 feet away. Scared the heck out of me. Hope no damage.
      1. NYCGuy likes this.
      2. Strawberryblonde
        Strawberryblonde
        You should be fine, try not too worry.
        Oct 4, 2022 at 1:53 PM
    5. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Exposed to ambulance siren. Getting out of my car with my back to the street. Plugged my ears but was exposed one maybe two seconds
      1. NYCGuy likes this.
      2. kingsfan
        kingsfan
        Fingers in ears is pretty good protection, especially if you get a little suction going.
        Oct 4, 2022 at 3:05 PM
        Forever hopeful likes this.
      3. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        Oct 6, 2022 at 1:20 PM
    6. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Using OTO CBT. Narrator’s voice is very soothing.
    7. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Omg I didn’t think it could get worse. Right ear is screaming like it never has. It’s kite a jet is taking off in my ear. Can’t mask.
      1. NYCGuy likes this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Strawberryblonde
        Strawberryblonde
        Spikes can last a while and fluctuate rapidly. It'll eventually settle down. Please try too keep a positive mindset while this is happening, I know it's hard to do when it's loud and unruly but it'll get better in time.
        Oct 1, 2022 at 12:13 AM
        Joe Cuber and Forever hopeful like this.
      4. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        Thank you all. It is better now but I had to take some anti anxiety meds. It’s not gone but much quieter after I slept. It scared me so bad. I have had it loud in the last 3 weeks bit this was something else. No way I could live with that.
        Oct 1, 2022 at 1:55 AM
        CRGC likes this.
      5. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        And just when I was starting to feel a tiny bit better.
        Oct 1, 2022 at 1:58 AM
    8. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Good Morning TT friends. Had some mild improvement yesterday. Probably more related to my attitude than the sound.
      1. Joe Cuber
        Joe Cuber
        Sep 30, 2022
      2. CRGC
        CRGC
        Happy to hear that! Any improvement is good improvement :)
        Sep 30, 2022
      3. Strawberryblonde
        Strawberryblonde
        Yes! Great to hear :)
        Sep 30, 2022
    9. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Good Morning my TT friends. Welcome to Ground Hog Day! My least favorite time of day. Waking up.
      1. Ngo13, Joe Cuber, NYCGuy and 3 others like this.
      2. Strawberryblonde
        Strawberryblonde
        @Forever hopeful my audiologist recommended the " Resound tinnitus relief" app for masking if you are still looking for something to help with T. You can create your own sounds and mix and match. If you've not come across it already.
        Sep 30, 2022
      3. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        Had it for years and I’m using it now. I do use the mix and match. Thanks.
        Sep 30, 2022
        Strawberryblonde likes this.
    10. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      So I need to go on meds. My anxiety is out of control. Scared of meds. Remeron is good for T bad for weight gain and metabolism.
      1. NYCGuy, Ngo13 and Wrfortiscue like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Strawberryblonde
        Strawberryblonde
        @Forever hopeful maybe try zoloft again on a lower dose and see how you get on with that?.
        Sep 27, 2022
      4. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        @Strawberryblonde. I’m considering but I was just reading some literature around tinnitus and SSRIs, particularly around the extra serotonin in the brain and how that can actually contribute to Tinnitus. I feel like we are damned if we do and we’re damned if we don’t.
        Sep 27, 2022
        Strawberryblonde likes this.
      5. Strawberryblonde
        Strawberryblonde
        Yeah it's a minefield when it comes to things like this unfortunately. Sometimes people benefit form ssris greatly, others it goes the opposite way.
        Sep 27, 2022
    11. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Guilt. How to folks deal with it? You did something, You thought you were protected, you weren’t. How do you live with the guilt?
      1. NYCGuy, Tom Okay, Daniel Lion and 2 others like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Gabriel5050
        Gabriel5050
        If I end up in a loud event I say I took the best decisions with the knowledge I had at the time or that the situation was out of my control. Because it's one of these 2. It helps actually not being very reckless with your hearing as if you're healthy.
        Sep 27, 2022
        NYCGuy and Forever hopeful like this.
      4. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        @BrOKeN_1 Can you come live me and tell me this every day? LOL the loathing and anxiety is making it worse. That’s what I feel when I first open my eyes in the morning.
        Sep 27, 2022
      5. Uklawyer
        Uklawyer
        Try to let it go. Be loving and compassionate with yourself. You wanted to live a bit; to enjoy something. You thought it through, you rightly took precautions. Unfortunately, things happen. Don't blame yourself. Look forward. Be positive like you were before. Focus on other stuff, as you have been doing. x
        Sep 27, 2022
        CRGC and Forever hopeful like this.
    12. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      So unfair.
      1. kingsfan, NTV, Joe Cuber and 3 others like this.
      2. MindOverMatter
        MindOverMatter
        Life can certainly be and feel unfair at times @Forever hopeful ...but at one point, down the road, I feel certain that you will get better again. The only way is forward.
        Sep 25, 2022
    13. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Crazy. celebrated a birthday. Skipped a lot due to noise. Others no issues with volume. Clubs, music, their own screaming voices.
      1. Strawberryblonde
        Strawberryblonde
        It's the luck of the draw with these things in life. It robs you of enjoyment and being carefree especially enjoying yourself at a party.
        Sep 25, 2022
        Wrfortiscue, NTV, CRGC and 1 other person like this.
      2. AnthonyMcDonald
        AnthonyMcDonald
        Hey, my birthday was on the 24th. Happy belated birthday
        Sep 26, 2022
        Wrfortiscue likes this.
    14. BrysonKingMe
      BrysonKingMe
      I did not answer your question about how i am tapering.
      I have a compound pharmacy make a .1mg/ml oral suspension and I use an oral syringe to microtaper daily.
      1. Forever hopeful and NYCGuy like this.
      2. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        Thanks. That is a good idea. Are you on the US? Did your doc order it that way?
        Sep 25, 2022
      3. BrysonKingMe
        BrysonKingMe
        Hi,

        Yes I am in the U.S.
        My doctor is a complete idiot and told me there was no way to get a suspension made. I called a compound pharmacy and they told him how to write the prescription.
        Sep 25, 2022
    15. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Had to deal with her barking dogs x15 minutes. Had ear plugs in thankfully. Right ear now screaming.
      1. Wrfortiscue and NYCGuy like this.
    16. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Planned this 40th birthday celebration for a friend. Woke up ears louder????
      1. Nadia231, Wrfortiscue and NYCGuy like this.
      2. Strawberryblonde
        Strawberryblonde
        Maybe it was the stimulation of everything going on being it was a celebration? It should hopefully calm down soon.
        Sep 25, 2022
      3. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        I wore my earplugs constantly, which just made me focus more on my tinnitus because I could hear it louder. Just such a drag. 17 days out and no improvement. I am become so phonophobic, waking around with my decibel app constantly.
        Sep 25, 2022
      4. Strawberryblonde
        Strawberryblonde
        I notice my T more cause of constant ear plug (filtred) use when out and about. I think that's feeding my fear of the T cause I keep hearing it. It'll take a while to sort itself out and when the fear/worry subsides the T may go down to a more comfortable level once more. Just the it one day at a time :) sorry you are going through this.
        Sep 25, 2022
    17. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      What color noise do folks use for sound therapy for high frequency tinnitus? My crickets no longer work.
      1. Wrfortiscue and NYCGuy like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. HeavyMantra
        HeavyMantra
        Since it's impossible to block out, I listen to nature sounds and birdsong and try to focus on those sounds instead of my tinnitus.
        Sep 24, 2022
        Michael Leigh, BrOKeN_1 and tracyNYC like this.
      4. tracyNYC
        tracyNYC
        I used crickets, but when those no longer worked, I turned to lower-pitch "babbling brook" sounds. Nothing high pitch to compete, but lower pitch to distract.
        Sep 24, 2022
      5. Strawberryblonde
        Strawberryblonde
        I still use my crickets at night. As much as they don't block out the reactive T completey. I still concentrate on it enough to distract me from my ringing ear and I managed to fall asleep last night and woke up once in the night. Chamomile tea and lavender spary was also used.
        Sep 25, 2022
        Joe Cuber likes this.
    18. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Had a great call with a tinnitus audiologist. Learned all is not as dire as I thought.
      1. Ngo13, CRGC, Strawberryblonde and 6 others like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Marshall
        Marshall
        But like what did he say?
        Sep 23, 2022
      4. Strawberryblonde
        Strawberryblonde
        @Forever hopeful do you feel more relieved now you have been given more information regarding your situation?
        Sep 23, 2022
        BrOKeN_1 likes this.
      5. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        @Strawberryblonde Yes.He made no promises. He did alleviate my concerns around hearing protection, which helped my guilt as I didn’t think I was getting enough protection. But he showed me I was based on his own testing of the same earplugs. He reinforced that my anxiety was perpetuating the spike because I wasn’t letting my brain do its job to settle it.
        Sep 23, 2022
        Safari1999 and Strawberryblonde like this.
    19. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Spouse told me to stop perseverating on this and get off TT. Only 2 weeks since increase. Jeez. So now I’m hiding my pain and anguish.
      1. tniuf, Nadia231, NYCGuy and 1 other person like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Eliska
        Eliska
        This forum is double-edged sword.
        Sep 26, 2022
      4. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        @Eliska, I’ve been trying to stay on the success stories but now I think I’ve officially read every single one 5 times. It’s all good till you see negative comments about someone having a success story.
        I’ve also started meeting with the audiologist who is a tinnitus expert and actually running information that’s promulgated on the site by him. It is amazing that there is so much misinformation out there.
        Sep 26, 2022
      5. Eliska
        Eliska
        @Forever hopeful I also mainly read success stories however its too easy to slip down to horror stories and negative comments. But I get it, most members here on this forum are suffering and desperate.
        For my mental health is better to stay away from forum as much as I can although my mind is occupated by T or by thoughts about T most of my waking hours.
        Sep 27, 2022
    20. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Has T himself. Never uses ear protection. It doesn’t bother him. And he describes it ad pretty loud - can hear it over most things.
      1. NYCGuy and Strawberryblonde like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        He said he’s had it forever. Even before he went to college and had subsequent concussions while playing football. He said it was far worse during college and has improved over the years. He still get spikes if he has a cold. But he can sit in a loud restaurant and if he listens for it, he says he can hear it.
        Sep 22, 2022
        tniuf likes this.
      4. kingsfan
        kingsfan
        Oh, so he has it from TBI and not from cochlear degeneration, so of course loud environments don't affect it at all.
        Sep 22, 2022
      5. tniuf
        tniuf
        Might be quiet high frequency T, than actually loud T
        Sep 22, 2022
    21. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Husband completely unsupportive. It’s been just about two weeks out and he has no patience for my suffering.
      1. in_LA, ZFire, roy1159 and 2 others like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        @makeyourownluck I have not really noticed any improvement. It’ll be two weeks tomorrow since my T increased. I will also be finishing my high-dose steroids on Saturday. What strikes me is just how high frequency it is.
        Sep 22, 2022
      4. makeyourownluck
        makeyourownluck
        Some people report louder tinnitus when on steroids. Maybe things will calm down after they leave your system. I have my fingers crossed for you.
        Sep 22, 2022
        ZFire likes this.
      5. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        @makeyourownluck. Well, I’ve never had that problem before. But it could also be that steroids leads to increased anxiety and higher anxiety makes you more vigilant about listening for the noise. So maybe once they clear maybe the noise will reduce somewhat.
        Sep 22, 2022
    22. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      I really can’t believe rude comments from others on the site. I was not irresponsible. I had ear protection and a solid plan.
      1. View previous comments...
      2. Michael Leigh
        Michael Leigh
        We are all different @Forever hopeful, so give it time. Please read my post in the link I sent you: Can I habituate to Variable Tinnitus? As I previously mentioned to you, start using low level sound enrichment to help reduce your oversensitivity to sound. All the best.
        Sep 20, 2022
      3. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        @Michael Leigh, I have read your post and have been following your suggestions. I do find that the low level sound does spike my tinnitus. Or at least I feel like it does. Which has never happened in the past. I think it’s the least noticeable when it’s completely quiet. That is something I’ve never experienced before. So I goes this is hyperacusis.
        Sep 20, 2022
        Greg Sacramento and NYCGuy like this.
      4. Michael Leigh
        Michael Leigh
        Silence, quiet rooms and surroundings aren't good for oversensitivity to sound, hyperacusis or tinnitus @Forever hopeful. Therefore, I advise trying to use the lowest volume possible for sound enrichment even if it's for a little while. It's important that you persist with it and take things slowly as this is the only way to overcome what you are experiencing.
        Sep 21, 2022
        NYCGuy and Forever hopeful like this.
    23. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Only increased my usual Klonopin dose by .5 every other day. Just trying to survive and work Almost 2 weeks out from my AT.
      1. NYCGuy likes this.
    24. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Still in a spike. Periods of loud vs almost quiet. Prob artificially lowered by my use of Klonopin.
      1. Strawberryblonde and NYCGuy like this.
      2. CRGC
        CRGC
        Just my personal opinion, but fluctuation at this stage appears like a good sign! It could be your spike starting to settle naturally and not the klonopin.
        Sep 20, 2022
        NYCGuy and Forever hopeful like this.
      3. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        Oh I pray I do pray
        Sep 20, 2022
        Strawberryblonde and CRGC like this.
      4. Michael Leigh
        Michael Leigh
        Sep 20, 2022
    25. DebInAustralia
      DebInAustralia
      Hey I'm so sorry to hear of your spike.

      I'm still dealing with this relapse. I think mine is related to the onset of menopause and possible MCAS.
      1. NYCGuy likes this.
      2. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        I am so sorry. I know you have been dealing with this for a while. Yesterday I was looking through old posts from 2021 all the way back to 2015 of mine. Interestingly how many people are no longer on the site even from a year ago. Hopefully majority are getting better.
        Sep 21, 2022
      3. DebInAustralia
        DebInAustralia
        Don't be sorry. We are in this together X
        Sep 21, 2022
    26. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Still struggling to mask. T is super high pitched like a tea kettle with a hiss. Crickets no longer work. Other ideas?
      1. NYCGuy likes this.
      2. InfiniteLoop
        InfiniteLoop
        They MyNoise app has many choices, and in many of them one can control the frequency band. Personally, I use the rain noise with just the two higher frequency bands on.
        Sep 19, 2022
        Forever hopeful likes this.
      3. Forever hopeful
        Sep 19, 2022
      4. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        @InfiniteLoop. Got the app. Surprisingly a blend of violet and pink noise seems to provide me the most relief. Which is really interesting because normally I don’t like those sounds. I’m usually more interested in nature sounds. But today was the first day that I felt like I had a little relief with some masking and sound therapy. Thanks.
        Sep 22, 2022
    27. Xukezu
      Xukezu
      You might want to look at something like The Soul Resonance youtube channel. I have found their offerings to be very helpful. I personally use the Tibetan bowl sounds because they are very close to random noises and cover a wide spectrum of audible frequency without any jarring surprises. Very dynamic vs static noise machines.
      1. Forever hopeful likes this.
      2. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        Thank you.
        Sep 18, 2022
    28. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Looking for a new masking or sound blending. My HF nature sounds are no longer working. Causing reactivity. LF ok but not the goal
      1. BrOKeN_1 and Wrfortiscue like this.
      2. BrOKeN_1
        BrOKeN_1
        Somebody (I forget.. my bad) turned me on to the tinnitus calmer beltone app. Try it out maybe. I'm really liking the breathing/meditation exercises. Plus it's free!
        Sep 17, 2022
      3. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        Thanks. I appreciate it.
        Sep 17, 2022
    29. Stuart-T
      Stuart-T
      You said you have musician's earplugs so i assumed you were a musician. Is it classical concerts you are going to or pop?
      1. View previous comments...
      2. Stuart-T
        Stuart-T
        OK that does sound positive. It is often hard to know what the case is with any degree of confidence. A lot of us are trying to help but a lot of the time we are just passing on information we have picked up somewhere. Personally, I irrigated my own ears 6 months ago and have no idea if I screwed up or not with excessive pressure - and I probably never will know whether I am the cause of my own ongoing T.
        Sep 17, 2022
        Forever hopeful likes this.
      3. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        Well that may be true in your opinion. But he’s a man who suffered from and studied tinnitus for over 40 years and is out living his life. He also has a medical degree. So far, I have met one person on the site who actually went to med school. And no audiologists. Just saying.
        Sep 17, 2022
      4. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        @Stuart-T, I am sorry to hear. It’s hard to know sometimes what happened and why. My husband has tinnitus. He never protects his ears. It also doesn’t bother him. I don’t get it. I would be happy if it were lower pitched. Easier to mask.
        Sep 18, 2022
        Stuart-T likes this.
    30. Forever hopeful
      Forever hopeful
      Thanks for the support. Instead of forever hopeful I feel forever hopeless right now.
      1. Shelbylynn and NYCGuy like this.
      2. Eleanor89
        Eleanor89
        Hello @Forever hopeful
        It will get better,,,, I’m so sad that this has happened to you….
        Just give it time x
        Sep 17, 2022
        Forever hopeful likes this.
      3. Forever hopeful
        Forever hopeful
        I know that it takes time but is awful while waiting / not knowing. Hearing test in 3 weeks Hoping no change. I had no temporary hearing threshold change. None of the usual sxs you have after a concert because I was wearing ear protection. My husband, who has T, wore no ear protection. He had a 10 minute hearing threshold change He didn’t even think the concert was that loud.
        Sep 17, 2022
        Shelbylynn likes this.
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  • About

    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    Tinnitus Since:
    2015 resolved, 4/20 L ear, increase 2/21
    Cause of Tinnitus:
    2015,noise,2020-21 SNHL