Help! Getting Suicidal

I've had T for almost a year and had suicidal thoughts for the first couple of months. I got over that hump with the realization that the T is just a sound and isn't causing me any physical pain. That and remeron. As long as I'm able to sleep regularly then I can deal with the T.

 

I had to take ZOLOFT anti depressant when I first got T few months ago but now T has lowered and I can sleep on my own so I no longer take any meds, except NAC and vitamins.

 

Sorry man. Maybe I just took things wrong. Easy to do online here

 

No problem at all. I was making fun of myself, nobody else. Guess we are all suffering in one way or the other. I had the real bad thoughts during the first months as well, but it was not really an option.

 

Hey Rico,hope your feelin a bit better the first few months are rough bro,you will have good and bad days but be patient give it time a little faith and things will improve for you promise.I was were you are could not see and end I remember being in the middle of a field pleading for it to stop things have improved and they will for you. Just take each day at a time and if needs be get some meds I was the very against them but they helped me especially with sleep which is vital.I would recommend remeron just to get you over this blip they won't hurt you.
You are far stronger than you think and with the right attitude and mindset will over come this and be a better person for it.
You have our full support

 

my tinititus has not got any better I have been dealing with it for 9 years and ? what are the ER doctors going to tell me if I go there when a neurologist and 3 audiologist have told me there is no fix for this condition I have been through1 failed suicide attempt why cant doctors find a cure for this I am at the end of my rope with this

 

if I had bullets for my rifle I would have already made another atempt on my life this noise is continuous it never stops I don't get any sleep were do I go for help ??

 

Sorry that you are suffering so much, Duke. Suicide is not the answer (refer to my earlier post on this thread). Don't give up hope. There are newer treatments out there now which may help. Go to the Treatment Forum to read up on them if you haven't done so. Have you tried Xanax and some other meds which may help lower the volume and have you tried all the sleep meds like Rameron and other sleep meds that members always post about? If you have lived all these years with tinnitus, you prove that you can survive it. If the tinnitus doesn't change, perhaps see if we can change or moderate our reaction to it so you can have a better quality of life. That is what I have learned to do to help myself.

I often borrow the strength of people who somehow survive their tough tinnitus (& hyperacusis for some). I look up to Dr. Nagler, both his experience of struggling mightily and yet overcoming his tough T way back, and his writing 'Letter to a Tinnitus Sufferer', and I slowly learned to counter my negative thoughts using some self-help CBT techniques. I had ultra high pitch T which packs with so much condensed energy like a laser beam in a night sky, resonating in my whole head. As I type it is resonating and screaming at such intensity that I would have caved into instant panic attack a few years back. But now I don't give a dime to it and have lost the fear for it. I try to find joy amid the pains and try to live my life abundantly to counter the suffering of T (if any now).

I don't know if this approach will help you. Sometimes when we are so worn down and depressed by our T, we need to look up to some guiding lights, those who have survived their tough T and yet triumph over it to live a normal or even productive life. I have posted the story of Zoe Cartwright who has loud unmaskable T because she turned totally deaf at young 15. Facing the dominant, never stopping, harsh shrill of T for life at a young age for a young girl is indeed a huge mountain in life to climb. But she sets the example for me in trying to accept the reality of the harsh T and move on living her life with positivity. She even made it to university where she shot a tinnitus film. You can check out her film which I posted in the top two sticky threads of this forum, the video documentaries thread and the Positivity Thread. The film was titled 7.24.52.10 which means she has to face her loud unmaskable tinnitus 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, 52 weeks in a year and for the last 10 years (at the time of shooting the film). As far as I know, she is happy with her life regardless of her unmaskable T, and is a film director. I don't know how she does it but she shows me that even loud, unmaskable T is livable and that was the most important message I learn from her.

Take care and God bless you with the strength to soldier on.

 

Is your tinnitus severe and does it change all the time in tone and frequency?

 

Give it time. I am going to message you a list of stories of it getting better after longer than one year.

 

Ooh. can I have.

 

It seems worse now but some rare moments in which it seems silent.

I hate that I might have had mistakes and setbacks that did something.

I can't habituate to this. I can't consider that anyone can get used to a high frequency/high pitched constant sound that sounds like cicadas. Or whatever. I don't even know how to describe it any more.

Btw, the OP left the thread 5 yrs ago? :-(

 

Zombie thread so hopefully the OP is still alive. I will send you them.

 

I hope so, too. Hope he improved. I hope some of those success stories include sufferers who had severe tinnitus.

 

My tinnitus is only severe during the occasional flare-up, otherwise it's more quiet now than it was 5 years ago. Oddly enough, it has switched ears. It's gotten quieter in one ear but louder in the other. It's not severe, just really annoying when I'm closer to silence than I was a few years ago.

 

I'm just over a year in and not near the mess I was when this started but I've still got a long way to go. I would think things were getting better, then they would get worse. It was, and is, and up and down cycle. I also remember around 4-5 months the exhaustion of being on edge all the time caught up with me. I hate to say be patient but it's all I can say. Time is the greatest healer whether you heal or get used to the noise.

Please give it some more time.

 

Do you mind posting your latest audiogram? (feel free to blank out whatever personal info you may have on them).