Suicidal Because Noise from rTMS (140 dB!) Massively Worsened My Tinnitus and Caused Hearing Loss

Discussion in 'Support' started by JoeBattams, Apr 15, 2022.

    1. Samantha2961

      Samantha2961 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Medication
      Hi Joe,

      I am so sorry to hear your story and it breaks my heart to read that you are contemplating suicide, although I too have experienced times where I thought to myself that it would just be so much easier if I were just dead.

      I’m not an expert or anything, but I would suggest trying a safe, low risk medication to treat the anxiety and depression that you might be feeling due to the new hearing loss and worse tinnitus. A doctor or psychiatrist can perform an in depth assessment and determine the appropriate medication for you (if you are open to trying new medications). Also, is there a way for you to continue listening to your audio books, even if it may not sound the exact same as before? It’s important to continue to do things that bring you happiness, even though you may not have any motivation or just feel too sad to try anymore. Try not to let yourself sink into a dark hole where all you can focus on is the tinnitus and hearing loss. I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s important to try.

      Habituation is also still possible, but for severe instances such as yours, it may just take a little longer. I wish you the best of luck in overcoming this battle, and please do not lose hope or give up.
       
      • Like Like x 3
    2. kmt

      kmt Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2022
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      Did these help you?
       
      • Good Question Good Question x 1
    3. blamingeverything

      blamingeverything Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      high frequency hearing loss
      I'm concerned that Joe has not been back since April, in this case I don't suspect it's because he's happier.
       
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      • Hug Hug x 1
    4. Wrfortiscue
      Cowabunga

      Wrfortiscue Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      I did a search and this is what I found:

      In Memory of Joe Battams
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
    5. UKBloke
      Caffeine

      UKBloke Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      1991
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud Music / family history
      What an absolute tragedy.

      Rest in peace, Joe.
       
      • Agree Agree x 6
    6. bobvann
      Vegged out

      bobvann Member

      Location:
      Inside the vortex
      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud shit
      Shitty to think an audiologist I saw in April recommended to try this. As much as some of us are being touted as "negative & toxic", the incompetence I have seen in so called "professionals" is astounding.
       
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    7. tpj
      Depressed

      tpj Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2008
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      probably noise
      So sad. Rest in peace and silence Joe.
       
      • Agree Agree x 3
    8. LilCC

      LilCC Member

      Location:
      Florida, U.S
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Exposure to loud noises
      Wow! I wonder if it was because of his severe tinnitus. I’m pretty certain it was a factor. RIP Joe.
      It doesn’t say the cause of his death?
       
      • Good Question Good Question x 1
    9. Wrfortiscue
      Cowabunga

      Wrfortiscue Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      Yeah I didn’t want to confirm anything as I just pieced things together and not sure. Sucks.
       
      • Hug Hug x 4
    10. blamingeverything

      blamingeverything Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      high frequency hearing loss
      Fucking hell. Thanks for finding this @Wrfortiscue. I actually looked a few weeks back but didn’t find anything. I actually knew Joe, our work lives crossed each other for a few years. Couldn’t believe my eyes seeing his post and reading his horrible predicament. I tried to contact him on LinkedIn after he made this post but it was too late.

      He was one of the kindest, gentlest souls you could come across in life. Too quiet for his own good in fact, but this explains why and in retrospect it all makes sense. Just terrible. I’m only assured that he’s found his peace.
       
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    11. Wrfortiscue
      Cowabunga

      Wrfortiscue Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      Yeah I can’t say because I don’t know... really is a bummer.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    12. SB1981

      SB1981 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Multifactorial
      May he Rest In Peace.
       
      • Like Like x 4
      • Good Question Good Question x 1
    13. Chinmoku

      Chinmoku Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Started with a cold, possibly worsened by medication/noise
      Another tragedy. Thinking of you, Joe. Medicine failed you, and research with its glacial times failed you too. You didn't deserve this, but at least there in no noise where you are now. Thinking of your family, too.
       
      • Agree Agree x 9
    14. Shelbylynn
      Depressed

      Shelbylynn Member

      Location:
      Fresno, California
      Tinnitus Since:
      1/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Concert/lifelong music abuse
      RIP. I wish that Joe could know it was not his fault. How could anyone fault him for wanting his depression to get better? His sentiment is so similar to mine, to a lot of ours. When we dare live with tinnitus and things can somehow get worse or we can be exposed to unhealthy noise etc, I still think it is not our fault. We are daring to live, to make life live-able as we should. It was unfortunate what happened but he did the best he could with the information he had.

      Sending peace and love to his family and all of us who feel backed into a corner in this life.
       
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    15. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      This is the last thing I wanted to see but thanks @Wrfortiscue, as I was wondering why Joe stopped posting. Hope he has found peace.
       
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    16. Daniel Lion
      Ape-like

      Daniel Lion Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      SE Asia
      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise trauma, hearing loss
      Rest in peace Joe.

      The hospital staff killed him. Perhaps not intentionally, but pure negligence mixed with uncaring borderline sadism.

      The auditory system and brain have their breaking points, clearly.

      Peace be with you Joe.
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
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    17. Greg Sacramento

      Greg Sacramento Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame Advocate

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Syringing + Somatic tinnitus from dental work
      Not the fault of anyone.

      Love to Joe's family.
       
    18. Ed209

      Ed209 Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2015
      This is tragic beyond words. It is the first time I've seen this thread and it’s truly awful.

      RIP, Joe.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    19. Forever hopeful
      Depressed

      Forever hopeful Member

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      2015 resolved, 4/20 L ear, increase 2/21
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      2015,noise,2020-21 SNHL
      Oh no. I remember my heart breaking when I read his story. All of this is just devastating. Joe thought he was doing something to help himself and ended up with horrible tinnitus.

      I remember my otologist telling me not to worry about the MRI because they gave me double ear protection. I still ran out of there halfway through because it was so incredibly loud even with the ear protection.

      RIP Joe.
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
    20. blamingeverything

      blamingeverything Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      high frequency hearing loss
      rTMS is actually a very interesting treatment modality in tinnitus research.
       
    21. Jibran
      Torn

      Jibran Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      I am in the same boat as OP. Anything I do seem to make it worse.

      Yesterday was at a dinner with my wife and son and the place was a little loud but not horribly loud. I also had my Phonak P90 hearing aids in. Anyways, just out of the blue a server accidentally dropped some glasses on a glass top table, probably 2 to 3 feet away from me. Now for normal people it was just an accident and for me it is a trauma with a loud spike on a top of an ongoing flare up.

      Can someone guide me how wearing earplugs all the time is beneficial? I mean, won't the brain ramp up the receiving sensitivity once it get harder for it to listen to external sound?

      What do you think is the reason some people with moderate hearing loss do not have tinnitus? What part of our brain is fucked up?

      Sorry for the language but I am sick of living like a degenerate always worrying about my surroundings.
      I hate my life and I hate having tinnitus...
       
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