Suicidal Because Noise from rTMS (140 dB!) Massively Worsened My Tinnitus and Caused Hearing Loss

Hi Joe,

I am so sorry to hear your story and it breaks my heart to read that you are contemplating suicide, although I too have experienced times where I thought to myself that it would just be so much easier if I were just dead.

I’m not an expert or anything, but I would suggest trying a safe, low risk medication to treat the anxiety and depression that you might be feeling due to the new hearing loss and worse tinnitus. A doctor or psychiatrist can perform an in depth assessment and determine the appropriate medication for you (if you are open to trying new medications). Also, is there a way for you to continue listening to your audio books, even if it may not sound the exact same as before? It’s important to continue to do things that bring you happiness, even though you may not have any motivation or just feel too sad to try anymore. Try not to let yourself sink into a dark hole where all you can focus on is the tinnitus and hearing loss. I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s important to try.

Habituation is also still possible, but for severe instances such as yours, it may just take a little longer. I wish you the best of luck in overcoming this battle, and please do not lose hope or give up.

 

Did these help you?

 

I'm concerned that Joe has not been back since April, in this case I don't suspect it's because he's happier.

 

I did a search and this is what I found:

In Memory of Joe Battams

 

What an absolute tragedy.

Rest in peace, Joe.

 

Shitty to think an audiologist I saw in April recommended to try this. As much as some of us are being touted as "negative & toxic", the incompetence I have seen in so called "professionals" is astounding.

 

So sad. Rest in peace and silence Joe.

 

Wow! I wonder if it was because of his severe tinnitus. I’m pretty certain it was a factor. RIP Joe.

It doesn’t say the cause of his death?

 

Yeah I didn’t want to confirm anything as I just pieced things together and not sure. Sucks.

 

Fucking hell. Thanks for finding this @Wrfortiscue. I actually looked a few weeks back but didn’t find anything. I actually knew Joe, our work lives crossed each other for a few years. Couldn’t believe my eyes seeing his post and reading his horrible predicament. I tried to contact him on LinkedIn after he made this post but it was too late.

He was one of the kindest, gentlest souls you could come across in life. Too quiet for his own good in fact, but this explains why and in retrospect it all makes sense. Just terrible. I’m only assured that he’s found his peace.

 

Yeah I can’t say because I don’t know... really is a bummer.

 

May he Rest In Peace.

 

Another tragedy. Thinking of you, Joe. Medicine failed you, and research with its glacial times failed you too. You didn't deserve this, but at least there in no noise where you are now. Thinking of your family, too.

 

RIP. I wish that Joe could know it was not his fault. How could anyone fault him for wanting his depression to get better? His sentiment is so similar to mine, to a lot of ours. When we dare live with tinnitus and things can somehow get worse or we can be exposed to unhealthy noise etc, I still think it is not our fault. We are daring to live, to make life live-able as we should. It was unfortunate what happened but he did the best he could with the information he had.

Sending peace and love to his family and all of us who feel backed into a corner in this life.

 

This is the last thing I wanted to see but thanks @Wrfortiscue, as I was wondering why Joe stopped posting. Hope he has found peace.

 

Rest in peace Joe.

The hospital staff killed him. Perhaps not intentionally, but pure negligence mixed with uncaring borderline sadism.

The auditory system and brain have their breaking points, clearly.

Peace be with you Joe.

 

Not the fault of anyone.

Love to Joe's family.

 

This is tragic beyond words. It is the first time I've seen this thread and it’s truly awful.

RIP, Joe.

 

Oh no. I remember my heart breaking when I read his story. All of this is just devastating. Joe thought he was doing something to help himself and ended up with horrible tinnitus.

I remember my otologist telling me not to worry about the MRI because they gave me double ear protection. I still ran out of there halfway through because it was so incredibly loud even with the ear protection.

RIP Joe.

 

rTMS is actually a very interesting treatment modality in tinnitus research.

 

I am in the same boat as OP. Anything I do seem to make it worse.

Yesterday was at a dinner with my wife and son and the place was a little loud but not horribly loud. I also had my Phonak P90 hearing aids in. Anyways, just out of the blue a server accidentally dropped some glasses on a glass top table, probably 2 to 3 feet away from me. Now for normal people it was just an accident and for me it is a trauma with a loud spike on a top of an ongoing flare up.

Can someone guide me how wearing earplugs all the time is beneficial? I mean, won't the brain ramp up the receiving sensitivity once it get harder for it to listen to external sound?

What do you think is the reason some people with moderate hearing loss do not have tinnitus? What part of our brain is fucked up?

Sorry for the language but I am sick of living like a degenerate always worrying about my surroundings.
I hate my life and I hate having tinnitus...

 

Very sorry to hear this. A good rule of thumb is to use earplugs in environments out of our control (like when out and about), and not using them in environments where we do have control (for most of us; in our own home). Using earplugs for a few hours everyday will not make you more sensitive, however I strongly advise against using earplugs literally 24 hours a day unless it's absolutely necessary.

Nobody knows for sure, but it's safe to assume that there's some degree of genetic predisposition at play.

Wish you well,
Stacken

 

Oh no... This is so heartbreaking. It’s so unfair that he was just trying to get treatment and have a better life. I hope he found silence. RIP Joe.

 

Wow, so sad and shocked reading this.

Rest in peace Joe.

 

Devastating to read this and realise how he found silence. He could not blame himself for trusting professional medical opinion and going ahead with the treatment. Some of us have done things we maybe shouldn't have (like me flushing my own ears!) but when you go to experts - you expect to get quality advice. I checked out rTMS on the BTA website. They basically say there is no good evidence for its efficacy against tinnitus but also say there were no adverse effects in those who participated in trials. I am surprised at the NHS offering it as a treatment for tinnitus with such poor clinical evidence for it being effective. Maybe the BTA should know about this case? As they declare it safe.

 

Humbling to read such a devastating story. The poor guy didn't do anything wrong, he just wanted help for himself and his family. This really brings home how devastating an illness and in particular tinnitus can be. This helps me to understand my own words to their fullest, that none of us know how much other people suffer. I hope that his family can find some comfort in knowing that he is not suffering any more, despite the terrible loss. It sounds like he was a wonderful guy.

George

 

RIP Joe. I wish I could follow you. I am also very suicidal. I try to stay alive every day for another day. But my tinnitus is so catastrophic, it is unbearable for me. I am close to considering assisted suicide. It is pure hell every day, every night.

 

I just want you to know I love you @EDDTEKK. I'm so sorry we are in this hell.

 

If people with healthy legs go for a run, nothing will happen. But someone with damaged leg could permanently make it worse. This is why it's so important to do diligent research before you do a single procedure or take a single drug. Normal people have much more healthy hair cells to sacrifice than we do. When doctors talk about it being safe, they're referring to these people. Even something like chemotherapy is probably not worth doing for people like us. Based on my research, the drug cocktails they use is ototoxic as hell. Cancer free or madness. Nice choice.

I'm sorry for OP. This is a failure of the NHS. Their ignorance caused this. He didn't need to die. His tinnitus didn't seem bad enough and could have lived a long life.

 

Comments like these aggravate me to no end. Its like someone with a missing finger telling a paraplegic that everything will be ok and that he has adapted to life.

The guy ended his life. Obviously you are completely out of touch.