Suicidal

Before doing anything drastic, try to get stem cell infusions. The ones with exosomes are the most promising tinnitus-wise.

 

Do you mean stem cell secretome treatment (cell-free, containing growth factors and exosomes)? Because stem cells will release exosomes if you get a cell infusion, too. I think most people have had the best results with StemCells21 treatment.

 

Yes, that one. But there are cheaper treatments in Mexico where you can get exosomes for $2,500, and good quality ones.

Never give up before trying stem cells, people.

 

Can you tell the names of those clinics? I would like to do some research on them. I've paid €20,000 for autologous stem cell secretome treatment in Germany, so proper EU safety and regulations (going there in 3 weeks).

 

What is the name of that clinic again?

 

Anova IRM. They don't officially treat hearing disorders, but they've evaluated my case (auditory neuropathy - quite possibly only cochlear synaptopathy) and since their treatment seems to work on ALS/MS, they've agreed to take my case (as it's mostly neurological).

That's one single thing keeping me somewhat hopeful. The awful distortions, the hyperacusis, the 12+ tinnitus sounds... And floaters, oh my goodness, the floaters. I need to stare at a screen for a significant portion of the day and the floaters are there all the time. If I get an improvement from the secretome, I will get the floaters treated, too.

 

Good luck with the stem cell treatment, I hope it it can soothe your symptoms. Keep us posted

 

I don't "accept" my severe tinnitus. I don't even know what that means. I know some of you talk about that but it's alien to me, no offense to you who speak like that.

I can't think of a good analogy since I consider it as the worst condition in the world to have or one of them.

I guess, I wonder whether you would ask a blind, limbless person if they accept it? Not the same but severe tinnitus just makes me want everything to stop. Of course, you would welcome a cure or an improvement that makes it minor at least - otherwise, if there was an option at euthanasia, there would most definitely be a time during the day that you would take it.

 

No. The tinnitus causes the depression. How can the depression be treated then?

You sound like a doctor who is unaware of severe tinnitus.

 

I have some floaters too. I fucking hate when I noticed them. I have a friend who has minor tinnitus and some floaters. I was told they'll eventually worsen or something? All I have left is my eyes and I depend on my computer. I don't even know what else to say on it.

 

Thanks for the "hugs" guys although it doesn't help - you know what I mean, right?

I don't remember all the users here who described their floaters but some have worse ones than mine. I can tell from their descriptions. It scares the shit out of me and I try not to read their posts anymore when they post about it - because I fear it getting that bad. All I remember is @TheDanishGirl's floaters.

The only way I describe it is they're like rain drops across a window but sorta resemble worms moving through your eyes/vision. Geez.

 

I've had floaters since I was a kid. If I'm in a place with light walls, such as a hospital, they are more obvious in my field of vision. Stringy clear ones, splodges, and a few black ones. Also, in low light conditions, I have what seems to be mild visual snow, but I think most people's vision has a static haze in low light or whilst looking at carpets (or certain repeating patterns), for example. I'm not sure, though. My wife said her eyes do the same thing. I don't really pay any attention to it, and it's never bothered me, but people may have it way worse than I do. I've also noticed that each of my eyes sees colours slightly differently.

I have got really high intraocular pressures (around 34), which is more of a concern as my dad went blind in one eye with glaucoma, even though he was taking the eye drop medication. I'm due for my yearly check-up next month as they have to monitor my optic disc for signs of damage.

 

I don't think this is true. Some people get better, many people habituate and leave this site forever (as I've done before and hope to do again), and, like everything else health related, there WILL be variations in those who take extra good care of themselves and their ears, and those who don't.

Just as an example, I'm about to run 7 miles, and lift weights, then eat lots of fruits and veggies. Those things help me stay positive despite my tinnitus. And I personally believe those things along with careful supplementation and blood tests, and care for my ears, will prevent my tinnitus from getting worse.

Most importantly, this is the type of doom and gloom thinking that makes this site an unfortunate mental health danger to everyone who reads and posts here. I always come for the tips and helpful advice (for which I am very grateful, and which have helped me stay safer with my ears). But these types of comments are really depressing and we should not be thinking this way. We are also all going to die but we don't discuss our certain death every day. (And tinnitus has way better odds of not getting worse and / or they might develop a treatment.)

 

This is the Suicidal thread, so here of all places despair and depression might be expected.

Tinnitus is an unfortunate mental health danger on its own without the doom and gloom thinking.

Yeah, we should not be thinking this way, but our ears/brain should not be ringing either.

I like your attitude and I hope it serves you well, but I guess, many of us here are not quite there yet or not any more.

 

I am a doctor, but not in Medicine. My specialty is Physical-Chemistry.I have severe tinnitus. I hear it 24/7 and even when I am driving and in any other noisy activity. Sometimes I hear it in the shower, sometimes I don't.

The problem is that you do not learn and that is why you are stuck in this thread forever. You have to learn to manage the tinnitus because there is no other therapy available. Depression is one of the most common triggers to tinnitus related suicide, and that it was you have to treat it to avoid the down spiral. I am not talking about perfect habituation or recovering your previous life, it is just about survival skills.

 

Yes, I still do. Nothing has really changed.

 

Maybe try therapy. This has been total hell for me. But I am trying every day to get better, find sleep solutions, and maximize every other aspect of my health (example: I'm about to check for any other vitamin deficiencies that could impact sleep) even more than I was already doing before tinnitus entered my life about one year ago (along with many other ear issues and major surgery for my ear, which many on here haven't experienced and was its own hell).

I really wish this thread didn't exist to be honest. It's not very hopeful to open the forum and constantly see "suicidal" at the top.

I really, sincerely believe that many people can get better. Most people. I have had catastrophic impact on my life. I have cried and thought this isn't the life I want to live, endlessly.

But I have also fought like hell to get my life back. And I have to say that has been happening, slowly but surely. I enjoy a lot in my life at this point, and the tinnitus isn't bothering me nearly as much during the day or even at night. Really my only sticking point is still sleep, and I refuse to take medications that I have always believed will ultimately destroy health. That's been VERY tough. But I have a group of supplements and strategies that often work. I'm convinced that a lot of my remaining insomnia is caused by supplements and other lifestyle issues, more than the tinnitus, although that doesn't help. So I'm still working every single day to improve and figure out what I need to sleep, be happy, and stay healthy.

I really believe we need to be positive. We need to believe that we can control some aspects of this horrible condition.

I read someone who said they were thankful for their tinnitus because it ultimately improved their lives. I thought that was nuts when I read it. And I still do. But I'm trying to adopt more of that attitude around my tinnitus.

I realize other people are in different places. I just wish everyone would try HARD to focus on what might help them today. That's the absolute only way to get better.

 

I'm trying therapy, so far I'm not so sure that it's helping, but we'll see. I also tried a myriad of things to fight severe insomnia due to tinnitus, so I know that it's hell and it got better, but I'm nowhere near proper sleep yet.

I'm really glad that you are able to control aspects of this truly terrible condition and get your life back.

But what makes you think that many here are not trying HARD to focus on what might help them today?

I really do wish that there wasn't a need for threads like this, but we can't sugarcoat the fact that tinnitus and hyperacusis do make people suicidal. This thread provides a space for people on the edge to let some steam off and vent. Sad? Very. Necessary? I think so.

Many sufferers don't have the opportunity or support system to turn to and suicidal thoughts exist anyway.

There has been talk about that maybe the Suicidal thread could be more "hidden" or moved to somewhere else to not be the first thing when entering the Support section.

 

I don't support that it should be hidden & haven't read that anywhere on here until you mentioned it. Maybe it can be placed elsewhere, but it shouldn't be placed in a way that people on here have a difficult time finding it.

The world needs to understand how horrible it is to live with this horrid affliction, & that includes MDs, Audiologists, Psychologists, & other hearing therapists. We who suffer with suicidal ideation need to express ourselves because in reality we don't want to die; we actually want to figure out a way to get through this. We also don't want to be written off as another depressed person. Not even in death. Although of course having intrusive tinnitus &/or hyperacusis will make one depressed or add to one's depression which existed prior. If the medical community continues to dismiss how horrid tinnitus &/or hyperacusis by labelling us as another depressed person than for certain a cure or effective treatment will be long out of sight.

In the end we have to decide for ourselves if life is still worth living. That means there are many factors involved in the decision. We all have different circumstances in which we live. Our personal circumstances can either make things more bearable or more intolerable for us to live with this condition, as is for any chronic condition. Some circumstances forces us to do our best to stick around for our loved ones. Etc. Everyone's situation is unique to them just like their tinnitus & hyperacusis.

 

I completely agree that we should try to maintain a positive outlook on the situation. Losing hope can make everything fall apart.

A lot of us in this thread doesn't have tinnitus alone. While tinnitus itself, being severe, is extremely hard to cope with, if not impossible, a lot of people here are coping with sensitivity to sound/hyperacusis. I would say that tinnitus, and especially in combination with sound sensitivity is easily one of the worlds most cruel medical conditions, because things can get perpetually worse while the relief of death is nowhere near in sight. Some of us fight with tinnitus that perpetually worsen due to everyday sounds. Sensitivity to sound, in its many shapes and forms poses hard limits on ones life which cannot be compromised with. The only options we have is to wear hearing protection, isolate ourselves and hope that things begin to improve.

Having "only tinnitus" don't stop anyone from seeking company with friends, enjoying some low volume music or working(given it's not severe-severe). It's possible to "fight ourselves back", but when sensitivity to sound is involved, this is no longer possible.

This thread needs to exist for those at the brink of suicide which has no options and who can't do even 1/10 of what they previously could because the conditions are so life limiting.

I believe therapy can be beneficial, when the emotional reaction is irrational because then we can be given tools to manage the emotional reaction and cope better, but there's no therapy in the world which can help one cope with perpetually worsening tinnitus and sensitivity to sound: there are no tools in the toolbox, it's just a matter of trying to survive and finding ones own way.

Again, I do firmly believe in positivity, but the fact of these medical conditions must be put out there. This thread must exist for people to vent their sorrows and frustrations. I know you sincerely mean well, but I disagree.

Thinking of you all,
Stacken

 

I agree with you.

And also, I apologize for using the world "hidden". It is not what I meant that it should be hard to find, and I put it in quotation marks, because I was struggling to find the right word due to me not being a native English speaker.

Also, it's not something that the forum staff officially was considering at all. This issue keeps coming up that some balance should be found in letting us have a space for the obvious suicidal ideation while not scaring people new to tinnitus away when opening the Support forum.

 

I actually disagree with this. I’m gonna get all new age-hippie-spiritual on you all but this is just what I believe; All emotional reaction to pain is essentally irrational. It isn’t the situation that’s creating your suffering. It’s your resistance to it. What would the situation be like if you had no thoughts about it? It would hardly be a situation. There are tools; a different state of consciousness. Books can give you this. I highly recommend the Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle. He’s got hours worth of material up on youtube as well.

 

Well, I do agree with that, and it's worth noting.

Any emotional reaction may be irrational, but I personally see a great difference e.g. between those who have phonophobia without any sensitivity to sound, and those who do have sensitivity to sound. The former group have a good chance of treating their fear using tools given through therapy, while the latter group know by experience that sound is in fact dangerous to their health. I see a distinction here between irrational fear and rational fear.

In my point i tried to pursue the difference in what tools can be given through therapy. This may be charged, but I believe that when we have "only tinnitus" we can develop coping mechanisms, adopt a mental fortitude, to push through and live a kinda normal and fulfilling life. I just personally don't see how therapy can help one "live a kinda normal and fulfilling life" when we suffer from progressive tinnitus or LDLs as low as 30 dB, because of the extreme hard limits that forces people into complete isolation. I can only think of one tool which it can bring in those circumstances, and that is to accept and surrender, and I don't know if I personally would be able to survive under such circumstances even if I accepted and surrendered completely.

I do get your point, and it is completely valid, but I don't see how I personally could manage it practically under those extreme circumstances I've described. There are maybe people that can do it, and in that case, I acknowledge that my previous statement, that came off as dogmatic, may be wrong and not apply to all. This is just how I personally see it.

Wish you well,
Stacken

 

Yes, check Ajijic Stem Cell.

Please let us know how it goes in Germany!

 

Oh yeah, I agree on that. I’m not saying to just go out there with severe reactive tinnitus and debilitating hyperacusis and suffer the blows and that you’ll be fine as long you don’t think about it. I perfectly agree with you on it being a rational fear. I would just call that instinct. We know our only way of surviving this is to plug up and in many cases, completely isolate.

But this is also when a lot of the irrational emotions set it. “the noise is ruining my life”, “Oh god, it’s getting worse”, “where will I be a month from now?”, “I’ve lost everything”, “I’ll never get my life back” These are the thoughts that drive us to suicide, it’s not the situation itself. There are tools for that, there are tools to make our lives fulfilling within the boundaries that we’re currently living it. We’re at a point now where we can’t change our life-situation, but we still have and always will have the option of changing ourselves. Acceptance and surrender really are keys here, but not as means of escape. These things when fully realized will literally shift your whole worldview and your existence. You don’t actually need a normal life to find fulfillment. Living and breathing and being there fully immersed with the present moment without any mental baggage can be as fulfilling as it gets.

That’s the point I’m trying to make.

 

When you put it that way, I mostly agree. Maybe you can live a fulfilling life under those circumstances, I'm not the judge of that. I haven't really seen the situation from that point of view before, so thank you for adding the nuance.

 

No offense, I know your intentions are good but this is kinda like trying to live outside of reality...

Maybe it can work for short periods, but there is a reason normal people hold their ears when they hear awful noises like nails on chalkboard.

Reality hits you sooner or later is my take...

Living a life with health that hinders you to have a “life” is very depressing and leaves people with suicidal ideation.

Be it isolation due to ear issues or a young man I see in his electric wheelchair rolling around from his flat to the nearest grocery store...

I imagine no matter how optimistic and positive his attitude, he will still wake up feeling like shit half his mornings...

 

What's sad is that I had never been sensitive to those kinds of noises. Wouldn't even wince. And now I can't walk in the city without earplugs.

 

A guy with perfect health who’s had a great life his whole life who’s hair is starting to thin will also wake up feeling like shit half his mornings.

That is the way we’ve been conditioned. If only someone had told us from the very start of our lives that life was going to be difficult, that difficulty was an essential part of life and of living, we wouldn’t be so opposed to the difficulties once they come. We would simply take it as a part of the experience of life. We have this predetermined notion of life being great all the time, and so once we’re finally confronted with the cold hard facts that it isn’t we immediately oppose it. That is what makes living with tinnitus so difficult. “This shouldn’t be happening”, “I’m not supposed to be here”. “This is wrong”. That in my view, is living outside of reality.

I get what you’re saying though. I just want to bring a new perspective into this.

 

Your perspective is that of a person whose had it easy their whole life, who has suddenly been hit with something difficult. So you've come up with all of these rationale to come to terms with your condition. I've been through hardships from the day I remember. Had an abusive father and grew up relatively poor. Moved houses several times before having a stable home when I was 10. My abusive father beat us regularly for the dumbest things. It was horrible. I'd go to school thinking my father killed my mother when I'd come home. I then developed depression and anxiety which started around 14 which caused me to drop out of college a few years later and ruin my dreams. I was depressed and hopeless for years.

Even after all that, I'd go through through it 1000x over what tinnitus has done to me and my life over the last 3 years.

So to hell with your dismissive attitude. This is a real and terrible disease. After a certain threshold, the power of the mind isn't enough. Could you live with a sharp needle pain every second of everyday? Sure. Could you live with a stabbing with a knife pain every second of everyday? Good luck.