Suicidal

Discussion in 'Support' started by jeremy06, Oct 14, 2018.

    1. Wrfortiscue
      Probing

      Wrfortiscue Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      I would also like to see if someone has recovered as bad as you. Here’s to hoping man, that sounds unbearable.
       
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    2. Ollie

      Ollie Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2013
      I want to let you all know that I think/hope it’s getting better. It’s still the loudest thing I hear in the shower or driving etc. But whether I am habituating or it is indeed reducing in volume I don’t know but don’t care. 6 weeks now and it seems something has improved. It’s there always and really loud but my head doesn’t feel like it’s vibrating with the tones anymore. It’s still hell but I have to recognise I am feeling stronger.

      Thanks in no small part to the support. I am not out of the woods but grateful.
       
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    3. Ollie

      Ollie Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2013
      @AnthonyMcDonald, mate.

      I hear you (no pun intended!)

      I, like you have it debilitating. I’ve had it for 6 years then foolishly played in a band and didn’t protect my hearing. It was really, really bad. Screaming and my head was vibrating.

      Gun laws in the UK are strict and I’m glad because I’d have blown my brains out.

      Good news is it’s not as bad now. Habituation or otherwise who cares. Give it time. It’s still the bane of my life but I don’t think about blowing my brains out all the time now. 2 months so far. Hang in there pal. Trust me I was where you are.
       
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    4. Wrfortiscue
      Probing

      Wrfortiscue Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      Keep it up. Keep building on it.
       
    5. AnthonyMcDonald
      Confused

      AnthonyMcDonald Member

      Location:
      Russia
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced/Neurological/Unknown
      Thank you for the kind words, I am glad you are doing better. I do not see any improvement at all unfortunately, just constant permanent spikes. I tried sleeping with earplugs and it somehow made my tinnitus even louder and more unbearable.

      I am mostly struggling with my hyperacusis now.

      Do you have hyperacusis? How do you deal with it?
       
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    6. Jon R.

      Jon R. Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2001 & then again in 2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      1st tone 2001 ear plugs, 3 other tones 2021 Pfizer vaccine
      Well, you won, but for your interest I also have visual snow (had it since I was 19 in 1998, in fact my old forum post is still on the net somewhere on a health forum from back then before I knew the term, I called it static vision). I also have reactive tinnitus BTW and hyperacusis. The reactive tinnitus I have creates a loud dentist drill noise in my ear from all noises, so I can not mask my tinnitus. The hyperacusis makes everything sound like I have broken speaker ears. On top of other none ear health issues such as scoliosis and small fibre neuropathy. But yeah, I guess you win still, 6-10 tones beats me. Guess I am weaker as I am not going to be able to cope 20 years even with what I have.
       
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    7. Wrfortiscue
      Probing

      Wrfortiscue Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      Has there been any improvement at all? Mental improvement at least?
       
    8. SB1981

      SB1981 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Multifactorial
      Perhaps reach out to @Labyrinthine. I can’t speak to his “recovery”, but from his wall posts he seems to have improved considerably.
       
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    9. Jon R.

      Jon R. Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2001 & then again in 2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      1st tone 2001 ear plugs, 3 other tones 2021 Pfizer vaccine
      Perhaps mentally, but over the last few months the hyperacusis and distorted hearing has got worse, which destroys my joy of life as everything I hear sounds so harsh as though it needs to be fine tuned, even when I talk myself things sound croaky and broken. Every time someone says something with an "s" in it I cringe as it cuts through my ears, everything is just so uncomfortable to hear, for the first 3 months it was primarily the 3 tones of tinnitus, but I have no idea why things progressed this way. God knows what is going on with me, the last 6 months have been awful.

      How are things going with you now? Any improvement?
       
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    10. Wrfortiscue
      Probing

      Wrfortiscue Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      Damn, I’m sorry to hear that. Mainly mental improvements here as I had noise setbacks plus MRI worsened it.
       
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    11. Exit

      Exit Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      I think it's about time to dust off the suicidal thread.... :(

      Giving a hug to everyone feeling blue today. :)
       
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    12. Forever hopeful
      Depressed

      Forever hopeful Member

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      2015 resolved, 4/20 L ear, increase 2/21
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      2015,noise,2020-21 SNHL
      Thanks for giving me a shred of hope. Has it improved or do you feel like you’ve just habituated to it? I guess in the end it doesn’t matter as long as you’re less bothered by it.

      I’ve been having a terrible spike since July. I have had bilateral tinnitus on and off for the last year and a half. No measurable hearing loss and ENT is attributing it to TMJ which I have.

      It’s super high-pitched and I’ve been in what seems to be worsening to a permanent state for the last month. I might get a few quiet days here and there but generally speaking by mid day it revs up and it’s super loud. It’s quiet when I wake up in the morning but once I get up and start walking around and talking to the kids it just starts right up, which I guess does fall in line with the TMJ diagnosis. Unfortunately right now there’s no availability of TMJ treaters so I’m out of luck in that regard.
      It seems like eating a piece of toast spikes it. Again, the jaw thing.

      Anyway I’m sitting in my car in the pouring rain In tears wondering how I am going to be able to live with this. I know I have to get through January because I’m taking my son to Disney and I have to do that for him. But I’m not sure how much longer I want to hang around if this is what my life is going to be like. And I live in the US where gun control is not so strict. Not that that would be my method. I’ve had tinnitus before for periods of time, like years, that’s resolved. But I could always mask it. I can’t mask this. It’s so high pitched. Violet and pink noise does nothing for it except for irritate me.

      How long did it take before you felt like you were getting better?
       
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    13. Wrfortiscue
      Probing

      Wrfortiscue Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      Some days I’m great, other days I hate life lol. Need to get my mood fixed first and foremost.
       
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    14. Stacken77
      Wishful

      Stacken77 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise (likely headphones & cars), Acoustic trauma did me in
      I think that's a very natural reaction to what this disease does. I've had a few alright days now, and my optimism is trending upwards, but some days I'm really down, crying my eyes out, often due to a bad spike lasting multiple days.

      Hang in there my friend. I'm holding out for hope that this insane trial shall pass someday.

      In another time, another place, I hope we'll all be happier.
       
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    15. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      I remember you had like 14 tones, and now you have 6. How did they go away? I recently got the squealing and angle grinder from Klonopin and they are atrocious.
       
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    16. Stacken77
      Wishful

      Stacken77 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise (likely headphones & cars), Acoustic trauma did me in
      I initially had like 3 tones, but in April I remember I could count up to 10 spanning both ears. I had a series of smaller incidents which weren't even that loud, but it seemed like each incident would cause another tone. The tones weren't that loud, each one being roughly the same volume, but completely distinguishable from each other. I don't know what happened, but now I can only seem to count like 4, so I guess time took care of it.

      I think tones can come and go, especially if they're associated with "minor" incidents. Right now I'm dealing with an overall permanent increase in volume, which is distressing.

      Wish you well, Brian.
       
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    17. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      The volume is what is killing me too. Sleep is impossible as is concentrating. If you are thinking of taking drugs, don’t. I tried Lexapro and it doubled the volume. Temporarily, thank god. The Klonopin will be the death of me if this doesn’t wear off. Doctors in the US love to hand out this stuff like candy.
       
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    18. Matchbox
      Wishful

      Matchbox Member

      Location:
      BC Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      August 2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise Induced, Prednisone (drones), Barotrauma (distortions)
      Do you hear tones or sound effects too that are rhythmic?
       
    19. DaveFromChicago

      DaveFromChicago Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Headcold/Flu
      To Brian P:

      This morning while in the local library the quietness accentuated my tinnitus pitch and volume so that I could hardly hear any other sounds from my left ear.

      It so interfered with my concentration that I was barely capable of following a Librarian's comments about the real reasons for the hyperinflation in Germany during the Weimar Era.

      I must have looked like a rude, slack-jawed dolt when I offered no replies.

      I ducked into the washroom and said, "If I don't get the f**k out of here right now, since my capacity to "habituate" has been punctured like a Sherman Tank being hit by a Panzer 88mm shell, I could seriously pass out from my consciousness shutting down just to avoid the noise."

      And throughout the day, there isn't a f**king thing I can do to even slightly lower the volume.

      I then notified myself, "Is this going to be your life, Capt'n, for the rest of your years? Can you really sign on for this?"
       
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    20. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      I can’t sign on for this. Something has got to give.
       
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    21. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      3-4 years.
       
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    22. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Move to Canada then if you want to be denied Klonopin.
       
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    23. Forever hopeful
      Depressed

      Forever hopeful Member

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      2015 resolved, 4/20 L ear, increase 2/21
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      2015,noise,2020-21 SNHL
      I’ll never make it. I wish I could at least mask it but I can’t. Too high pitched.
       
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    24. Ken219
      Frustrated

      Ken219 Member

      Location:
      New York Area
      Tinnitus Since:
      Summer of 1990
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure?
      Brian, because the doctor offers a drug, it does not mean one has to take it. There are medications that help. If one has suicidal thoughts, research medications on tinnitus sites. If you need medication or need to be institutionalized, do it to stay alive! Tinnitus is a long haul.

      Love you all!

      Long time tinnitus sufferer.
       
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    25. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      How did you get tinnitus?
       
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    26. Ken219
      Frustrated

      Ken219 Member

      Location:
      New York Area
      Tinnitus Since:
      Summer of 1990
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure?
      Noise trauma.
       
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    27. Wrfortiscue
      Probing

      Wrfortiscue Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      I agree.
       
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    28. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      They are smart. I can’t believe this is legal here and weed isn’t.
       
    29. Marcuso22

      Marcuso22 Member

      Location:
      Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud prolonged exposure to alarm system
      I'm in Canada & you can definitely get Klonopin here.
       
    30. PeteJ
      Depressed

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Not where I am. Family physician said no and an ER doctor said nada.
       
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