Suicidal

Discussion in 'Support' started by jeremy06, Oct 14, 2018.

    1. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      Mine wasn’t even originally from noise so it’s affecting everyone. On the Ménière’s forums people are also miserable.
       
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    2. Exit

      Exit Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      My thoughts are that hearing loss is hearing loss no matter the cause. Yes probably inflammation but you get that from noise as well... :/
       
    3. Jon R.

      Jon R. Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2001 & then again in 2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      1st tone 2001 ear plugs, 3 other tones 2021 Pfizer vaccine
      Yeah, I don't believe the inflammation explanation anymore. The vaccine has either damaged the hair cells or damaged the nerve IMO. I have had zero improvement over the last 5 months, even worse in fact, if there was inflammation surely that would very slowly improve symptoms not make them worse. Maybe some were lucky to just get inflammation but I really don't think I was.
       
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    4. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      Are you saying the vaccine caused hearing loss? My hearing really hasn’t changed. There are instances of the vaccine causing SSHL. First time I got ringing in my ears was at age 19 from eating large quantities of 2 things I was allergic to. That went away in 4 hours. So the inflammation hypothesis is not that far fetched. Question is did it do permanent damage?
       
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    5. Wrfortiscue
      Probing

      Wrfortiscue Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      Same.
       
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    6. Exit

      Exit Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      First of all I think tinnitus behaves the way it wants in a specific person no matter the cause.

      Also I think for most people tinnitus comes from some sort of hearing loss all the way up to 20 kHz.

      Not everyone. I think head tinnitus might sometimes be unrelated to hearing loss.

      Stress induced or tensed muscles certainly are not hearing loss.

      But we know people get hearing loss, with or without tinnitus, from the flu, ear infections and drugs.

      So not far fetched to get it from vaccines as well. They are drugs and they start a flu like process too.

      If you have tested your hearing up to 16 kHz and it’s completely normal, you still could have hearing loss above that. If your head interprets the hearings loss as an overload, let’s say you had hearing up to 19 kHz before. It’s possible.

      I don’t know much about Meniere’s disease. It’s probably safe to say it increases the odds of anything at all to make it worse... Just as mine could get worse from some pills or exercise or god forbidden doing air travel...

      I believe inflammation gave me tinnitus since it took 7-10 days after the noise trauma. It’s sneaky and awful. Hyperacusis came the within 24 hours. I wish I knew what it meant back then...
       
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    7. AbeS

      AbeS Member

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise/headphones
      Sounds exactly like my case, started with sensitivity to sound and then tinnitus came creeping the following days.
       
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    8. Exit

      Exit Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      @Brian P, I forgot do you have a kid?

      I’ve read about your troubles oftentimes.

      I wish you improvements.
       
    9. SD7
      Angry

      SD7 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Mid /June 2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Vaccine + Noise
      I just don't understand what it did to our ears. My first Pfizer shot I just had the generic sick for a couple of days. One week after the second one I started having reactive tinnitus and in retrospect sound sensitivity. Then I heard a high pitched sound on my iPhone without headphones and since that day I have continuously gotten worse. I was so excited to get the vaccine because it meant at least in part a return to some level of normal and in contrast my life may be forever altered.
       
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    10. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      The question is, is it permanent? If it takes a few months or a year I will have hope. Many people side effects of the vaccine, including tinnitus, went away. Some people it did not. But then again, the vaccine hasn’t even been out a year.
       
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    11. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      I have significant loss below 1 kHz in my hearing.
       
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    12. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      I have a son, yes. He doesn’t live with me though. He’s only 10 months old.
       
    13. Matchbox
      Wishful

      Matchbox Member

      Location:
      BC Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      August 2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise Induced, Prednisone (drones), Barotrauma (distortions)
      Fuck this shit so much. If it wasn't full of a ton of sound effects all over my right ear like warbling gobblty goob and the bass rhythmic vibraphone like droning I'd be ok.

      Fuck do I ever miss this just being ringing and static. SO. Much. :(

      If it gets worse it's a matter of when not if.

      To catch COVID-19 or get worse off the vaxx. The fuck do I do?

      And I seem to be the only one who gets such intense side effects from head tapping. Every time I do it, I'm left with my single tinnitus tone (which is only annoying), but then the wave of sound, like a rising tide comes in for about a two minutes at epic volumes, then back to the old baseline suicidal level as opposed to the I'd blow my head off if it stays much longer level.

      I'm like an enigma.
       
      • Hug Hug x 7
    14. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      I feel you. Vaccine took my mild tinnitus to suicide.
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
    15. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      Maybe but if the inflammation is ongoing from the stupid antibodies your body is producing, then maybe it will calm down. My issues didn’t start until about 2 weeks post vaccine, first shot.
       
    16. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      Did you get the vaccine yet? I’d take my chances with COVID-19 honestly.
       
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    17. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      I can’t believe this. Someone is playing music outside and it doesn’t sound like music. Only ringing. Is this distortion? I don’t believe this shit.
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
    18. Jerad

      Jerad Member

      Location:
      Ohio; United States
      Tinnitus Since:
      2002
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Medication ototoxicity
      I developed 2 new tones since taking my last shower. I have loudness hyperacusis, too. I used earplugs and all, but I attribute the new tones to either that (the shower) or some supplements. Because, even with plugs, some of the sounds are aggravating in the shower. Or it could be the NAC and Magnesium I took later in the day. Idk. With these conditions, it’s often hard to know for sure what’s causing what because they’re so erratic and unpredictable. My new tone in my right ear is a wavering ring that basically oscillates like eee-uhh-eee-uhh. It’s not always paced the same, though, which is annoying. So it’s oscillation qualities vary and are inconsistent. These type of tones scare me because they’re not as easy to habituate to. If no pattern is present, it just adds complications to habituation, I think. The second tone is in my left ear and is kind of a ringing morse code. I think this one had previously died down and it’s like it came back to life. Or came back, but a little different.

      Do you find that new tones eventually fade? Is there a time window usually to how long they last?
       
    19. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      Everyone had COVID-19 already... Unless you live in Antarctica, you've already been exposed to it.

      By the way I measured my fart the other day, it was 90 decibels.
       
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    20. Jon R.

      Jon R. Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2001 & then again in 2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      1st tone 2001 ear plugs, 3 other tones 2021 Pfizer vaccine
      I can no longer enjoy music, just sounds a loud ringing hiss, like a dentist drill mixed with shaken maracas. Music and radio was my life, also digitising and cleaning up vinyl records, I can no longer do that. My hearing always sounds like it needs to be sandpapered to clear it. I want to rip my damn ears off. Can't believe how perfect my hearing was prior to this.
       
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    21. Stacken77
      Wishful

      Stacken77 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise (likely headphones & cars), Acoustic trauma did me in
      I had a time, I guess it lasted about two months, where I would develop new tones very easily. I remember I could count up to 10 tones spanning both ears. When I count today, I have around 4 or 5, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. I believe tones can come and go with time; what ultimately drives distress is objective volume of the tinnitus, not necessarily the number of tones.

      Wish you well,
      Stacken
       
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    22. Wrfortiscue
      Probing

      Wrfortiscue Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      What causes distress for me is a new tone, tone changes behavior in a negative aspect (goes haywire or more intrusive). Louder tinnitus just means a spike and I know they usually go down.
       
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    23. Stacken77
      Wishful

      Stacken77 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise (likely headphones & cars), Acoustic trauma did me in
      If the spikes are temporary that is. I completely understand, as a new tone means another round of trying to habituate, but as I see it, I would easily take thousands of tones on low volume, than having one tone that is very loud and intrusive, if you get my point. Without volume, tinnitus as a problem wouldn't exist. But that's just my way of seeing it.

      Wish you well, man.
      Stacken
       
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    24. Wrfortiscue
      Probing

      Wrfortiscue Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      You’re not wrong... I had a terrible spike of straight loud tone tinnitus last week and it was horrid. Once you have LOUD multi tone intrusive tinnitus it’s pretty much over :(

      That is not me yet btw.
       
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    25. Exit

      Exit Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      You should fart into a pillow then...

      I’m pure as a baby’s butt :D

      No COVID-19 here:p

      How are you doing Dan...?
       
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    26. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      I'm OK thanks. I use Peltor X5 when I feel a loud one coming because I eat half a garlic a day, COVID-19 bring it on bitch!
       
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    27. Ava Lugo
      Gloomy

      Ava Lugo Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/03/19
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Virus
      It’s so devestating to lose music. I completely understand.
       
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    28. guenguer

      guenguer Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2004
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Sudden hearing loss 2004/12/14
      Only 3 tones? Let's hope you won't develop 6-10 tones. For 20 years. Oh, and quite a bunch of hearing loss, deaf over 4 kHz... Reactive tinnitus. Of course. Combination and intensity varies every hour or minutes. Depends. The baseline is like 100 out of ten since 2018.

      Yep, sucks. Throw in visual snow with all its symptoms, and a neuromuscular disease affecting hands, legs, face, vestibulochochlearis nerve, so vestibular system and hearing... Bunch of other things like pain and whatnot...

      Looking forward to always worsening everything of it. No way to stop it from progressing.

      Did I win?
       
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    29. Wrfortiscue
      Probing

      Wrfortiscue Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      Bro you made me appreciate my 4 tone loud reactive tinnitus lol.
       
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    30. AnthonyMcDonald
      Confused

      AnthonyMcDonald Member

      Location:
      Russia
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced/Neurological/Unknown
      I have been experiencing suicidal severe tinnitus and hyperacusis for a month after worsening. 4 months overall.

      It started in the middle of July. I was flying back from America to Russia and listening to ear buds on the plane. A day later the tinnitus appeared from nothing (seemingly starting from 0 and ramping up to loud). It was constant. Hyperacusis appeared at the same time.

      I have had previous exposures to noise, too many to count. I never protected my hearing. I went to concerts and music festivals, without hearing protection. In my childhood my mother took me & my brother to numerous concerts and events with loud speakers that caused me physical pain, but never any ringing in the ears. I went to bars and clubs with loud music. Though, not as much as my peers. I used to love karaoke and went a few times in the year leading up to my condition. Noise, absolutely everywhere. Parties. Singing lessons. Concerts. Playing the piano, etc.

      When everything first appeared I could say that it was moderate. I could leave the house without hearing protection, for example, to go to the store or to go walk in the park. Of course I would cover my ears every time a car drove by, or something of that sort. I did not protect my ears enough, though. I would walk in the city center sometimes only with flimsy ear plugs, and I would ride on electrical scooters sometimes taking off the ear plugs. I protected my ears in what I thought was "good enough". Oh how I was wrong.

      I hadn't noticed any worsening at all for about 2-3 months. I even traveled to a spa hotel, and traveled to Moscow (on a plane - with double protection) and spent time in the capital with double protection everywhere.

      I spent my entire days reading and researching about tinnitus and hyperacusis. At the time, my tinnitus was what caused me the most distress. It was very high pitched, and I could hear it absolutely over everything except the shower. I took numerous showers, ranging from 5-6 every day. The shower never really bothered my hyperacusis.

      A month ago I went to get a haircut - Buzz cut. Mistake that cost me my life. In the weeks After the buzz cut, my tinnitus and hyperacusis progressively worsened. Constant sound exposure, like cabinets closing and dishes clanking also didn't help. My sound tolerance plummeted and my tinnitus went through the roof. Before I had Some times, maybe 20-30 seconds when I would forget about my tinnitus, but now it's debilitating and excruciatingly loud. I cannot think about anything else besides my tinnitus and hyperacusis. It is impossible to mask, and impossible to ignore.

      My hyperacusis has become extremely severe. I cannot speak, I cannot eat, I cannot swallow. I cannot walk on the hardwood floor, the cracking is too much to bear. I cannot listen to conversations. Whispering is too loud for me. The only way I can communicate is by barely whispering at all. It is more like mouth movements, and people have to strain to hear me. Before, I was worried about not being able to travel, to go to events. Now I am suffering to such a degree that I don't care about all that anymore. The only thing I care about is relief. I don't care about my life. I just want relief. I am in suicidal levels of pain because of my hyperacusis, even shifting bedsheets cause my head to explode. My ears are constantly raw and feel like someone is screaming directly into them, even in silence. Recently I have been getting symptoms of deep inner ear aches, that last a few seconds. I cannot bear having pain hyperacusis on top of loudness hyperacusis. My life is full of pain and suffering, and it's not fair that I was "lucky" enough to be stuck with this horrible condition.

      I have tried sound therapy with pink noise and white noise to treat my tinnitus but to no avail. It did not help. I have tried hearing aids, but they are too loud. I do not know what to do, and all I do all day is think about how death would relieve my suffering. I do not want to die, I cannot fathom the pain it would cause my loved ones. But I cannot endure this suffering for much longer. I have done a lot of research, and my case is extremely severe and much worse than most poeple. I have never seen a case as bad as mine recover.

      Please someone say they have seen a case as bad as mine recover somewhat to be able to live. I don't want to die.
       
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