Suicidal

Discussion in 'Support' started by jeremy06, Oct 14, 2018.

    1. Jerad

      Jerad Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Ohio; United States
      Tinnitus Since:
      2002
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Medication ototoxicity
      @Exit, thanks for the response. Mine is 24/7, too, and sounds like breaks squealing. It is not really affected by sounds or movement. It just happens. It’s like the frequency is so shrill and high that it causes sensations of pain. Like I’m wincing because of it or a nails on chalkboard sensation. It’s not always that bad. Sometimes the squeals are not that piercing and don’t have pain, but sometimes they’re like an electrical feeling or taser shocking the ear.

      Have you ever heard of something like this or if it can go away?

      Thanks.
       
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    2. IntotheBlue03

      IntotheBlue03 Member

      Location:
      Philadelphia PA
      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Cervical/TBD
      You are describing exactly what I have. I wish I knew what the hell it was. Do you notice it more at rest than when on the move? As falling asleep even?

      Does your tinnitus oscillate or is it centralized/in your head?
       
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    3. Wrfortiscue
      Cowabunga

      Wrfortiscue Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      Yeah I’m sure @Exit has it lol. I also have similar. Our ears are toast. You may or may not get used to it, but just be careful with noise.

      How did you get yours?
       
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    4. Jerad

      Jerad Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Ohio; United States
      Tinnitus Since:
      2002
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Medication ototoxicity
      It doesn’t seem to be affected by whether I’m at rest or on the move, or sleeping. It’s always about the same. My tinnitus is often oscillating, like a wave. It can be static-like or hissing. The static oscillates up and down. The hissing is kind of pulsating where it’s not a straight tone. It pulsates in and out repetitively and seems to be somewhat reactive. I try not to challenge it much with sound because it seems to ramp up. This tinnitus moves around from ear to ear sometimes, so I think it could be head related. Sometimes it sounds like an idling jet engine more than static. That’s a lot more tolerable and isn’t shrill. It changes frequency a lot, I guess. But it sure does feel like it’s in the ears, especially the zaps. They come to both ears, but the left is worse.
       
    5. Jerad

      Jerad Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Ohio; United States
      Tinnitus Since:
      2002
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Medication ototoxicity
      Sorry to hear you have this, too. For me, it seems to have been triggered by colloidal silver (topical). I had a leg ulcer that was infected. I avoided antibiotics because they’re so risky oftentimes. Well I did a ton of research and found colloidal silver was being promoted as a safe alternative. I couldn’t find any info to state it wasn’t. But I now have this new high frequency tinnitus after using it.

      How long have you had the zaps? What caused them? And how frequent are they?

      Thanks for the help.
       
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    6. Wrfortiscue
      Cowabunga

      Wrfortiscue Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      It’s been 10+ months after the vaccine-induced onset. The zaps are just the electrical saw tone going with my heartbeat. Usually evolves to a straight buzzing tone.

      I couldn’t find a correlation on what spikes it so I’m just learning to accept (ignore) it.
       
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    7. Jerad

      Jerad Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Ohio; United States
      Tinnitus Since:
      2002
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Medication ototoxicity
      @Wrfortiscue, sorry to hear that the vaccine caused it for you.

      Do the zaps bring about physical pain for you? With mine, the frequency is often so shrill that I wince with sensations of pain. Like an electrical current shocking me. It’s a shrill sound like car breaks squealing and its intensity varies.
       
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    8. Wrfortiscue
      Cowabunga

      Wrfortiscue Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      Yeah it used to but has calmed down once I stopped focusing on it so much.

      Oh and time.
       
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    9. GoatSheep

      GoatSheep Guest

      I see you are still around. I know you have severe pain hyperacusis/noxacusis. How are you doing these days?
       
    10. Daniel Lion
      Ape-like

      Daniel Lion Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      SE Asia
      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise trauma, hearing loss
      Hi @volsung37.

      Many of your posts resonate with me, this one in particular. "Preparing for one's death."

      A teacher of mine many years ago lost her daughter to cancer. She wrote a book and advocated in the state legislature for the use of MDMA when folks are dying or doing an assisted suicide. Her daughter left this plane of existence at peace, feeling loved and loving according to her Mom. This is how I would like to go out. I'd like to be prepared.

      Having debilitating or chronic tinnitus, we know there are limits to what we can cope with. Those who find themselves on this thread know those limits all too well.

      Wishing you @volsung37 and everyone on this thread better days.

      It should be said that neuroplasticity can and will help many newbies here and the chronic OGs to to cope. Its is very powerful and is often underestimated and overlooked as the trauma and PTSD seems to obliterate hope for tinnitus sufferers. Don't give folks, one day at a time.

      Love to my old friends and new friends on this thread. You are not alone, and stronger than you know.
       
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    11. Brian Newman

      Brian Newman Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Shooting/loud noise
      Fuck hyperacusis man. It’s 8 am and I still haven’t slept. Love having a knife lodged in my ear 24/7 with 7 different tinnitus tones. Honestly what a fucking joke. This shit ruined my life. I miss my mild tinnitus in one ear and having a healthy ear. This shit is just bad.
       
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    12. DocTors_94
      In pain

      DocTors_94 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise/ Covid? / Benzos / Ototoxicity
      Same shit here. Tinnitus getting louder. Just an INSANE nightmare. Miss my mild tinnitus from November. I hope I die soon before I can't take It anymore, and It is already freaking bad. Ruined life at 27, homebound, can't even watch TV. Meanwhile TRT still exists after 50 years with a non-placebo controlled trial as evidence. I saw Jastreboff interview with Ben Thompson saying "tinnitus can't be resolved, it has been too complex since 1970". So he prevented other researchers from further studying tinnitus since it is "too hard" and sold his TRT quackery. Now he must enjoy his new Mercedes Class A achieved by selling quackery, while us, true sufferers are homebound and some committed suicide. Thank you world leader expert on tinnitus.
       
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    13. David S

      David S Member Benefactor Ambassador

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2013
      3 different oscillating tones here plus pulsating tinnitus in my left ear.

      Please do not take out your frustration on Dr. Jastreboff. He truly helps a lot of suffering people to a much better life. TRT might not be for all but it has helped thousand of people over the years.

      Sound enrichment is also the “go to treatment” for most medical centers around the world.
       
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    14. DocTors_94
      In pain

      DocTors_94 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise/ Covid? / Benzos / Ototoxicity
      Hi, David. I respect your opinion on TRT but some of the things I am stating, are far beyond a personal opinion. TRT hasn't shown to be better than placebo and still got pushed by the medical community... CBT would have also helped you as much as TRT.

      There is catastrophic tinnitus that spikes from external sound permanently... How is TRT going to help these cases? I think TRT only works for stable mild-moderate cases, and in these cases it is easy to naturally habituate over time anyways. For the rest TRT is just doing more harm than good.

      That is why I think TRT just delayed 50 years of research for true severe cases, where pharmacological treatment is needed for sure...
       
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    15. David S

      David S Member Benefactor Ambassador

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2013
      This is simply not true. Sound enrichment aka TRT is just a treatment among others. CBT, TENS, acupuncture, supplements, physiotherapy, mindfulness, SSRIs, benzos, vagus nerve stimulation, rTMS, intratympanic injection. The list could be longer. They are weak out of a scientific perspective even though some of them are of tremendous benefit for single individuals. With that logic they are to be blamed equally. There is reason why sound enrichment is recommended as a first line treatment for tinnitus all over the world.

      This might be far fetched but we do not blame wheelchairs to be the reason why we do not have any treatment for spinal cord injury.

      As i see it we suffer from neurological damage. In severe cases tinnitus is not a symptom but a real degeneration of the tiny sensitive nerves in the cochlea. There is no pharma for degenerated or damaged nerves. Nerve generation is one of the biggest challenges in the medical history. There are billions and billions of dollars going in that direction. For example, we already come a long way of generating cells in the retina. In the and of the day we are all going to benefit form total advancement in the neurological field.

      And do not take me wrong. I am also frustrated that we do not have anything else for now. We as a community is slightly too small to attract the big pharma. Treatment for hearing loss is a complete different ballgame...

      I suffer, you suffer but I think it is not fair to blame Dr. Jastreboff who dedicated his life for the treatment of the neurological disorder. How would you even do a double blind with sound enrichment?

      Just my thoughts...
       
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    16. GoatSheep

      GoatSheep Guest

      If the amount of funding going into wheelchair research was stifling the amount of funding actual spinal cord injury treatment research was receiving, I think that community would feel the same. So I’m sorry that’s a poor analogy.

      As far as Jasterboff, he is dismissive of sufferers who do not benefit from his treatment modality and called us “white flag wavers”. He clearly has a negative view of me due to his hubris, so in turn I don’t think it’s far fetched for me to have a negative view of him.
       
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    17. Wrfortiscue
      Cowabunga

      Wrfortiscue Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      For severe cases I have seen TRT do more harm than good, at least on this forum. Just my 2 cents and I’m all for CBT and sound enrichment.
       
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    18. Aussie Lea
      Dramaqueen

      Aussie Lea Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Melbourne Yarra Valley
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2013
      I mostly agree with you but Jastreboff is quite awful to be honest... Watch below what he thinks if you don't improve with TRT...

      Pawel Jastreboff on Tinnitus Retraining...
       
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    19. Wrfortiscue
      Cowabunga

      Wrfortiscue Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      He sucks lol.
       
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    20. Brian Newman

      Brian Newman Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Shooting/loud noise
      Yeah I know, wtf is this. You are right, Jastreboff, I’m not a fan, I mean it definitely could help moderate and sufferers, but there definitely is a limit to tinnitus when it just keeps getting louder, and with pain hyperacusis, TRT will not work for that. Before I got noxacusis, certain noises would calm my tinnitus down, that’s why I believe sound therapy for some could help. It has to be the right pitch and sound or else it won’t work.

      Like at my parents’ old house, my bathroom shower head was loud, hissing, but my ears loved the noise. After a long shower my ringing would be hissing for a few hours. This is what made me believe sound therapy can definitely help some.

      But yeah honestly fuck sound therapy, we need treatments that work for most, not dudes like him saying if his program doesn’t work it’s the patient’s fault. That’s foolish and stupid to say. Everybody knows what works for one will not work for another. I hope this year we see good hope. I hope this community finally sees relief, and I hope I can leave my damn house again soon.
       
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    21. Exit

      Exit Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Amen to leave the damn house...
       
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    22. UKBloke
      No Mood

      UKBloke Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1991
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud Music / family history
      Re Jastreboff:

      My tinnitus has changed drastically this past five years. I'm in touch with audiologists, and to cut a long story short I was recently offered CBT but refused it. I did, however, begin to wonder whether or not there might be some kind of scientific basis behind the idea that talking therapies can invoke physiological changes in the distressed limbic system. So I decided to do a bit of poking around on the Internet.

      A quick Google search led me to Josef Rauschecker's, Tuning Out the Noise: Limbic-Auditory Interactions in Tinnitus. I watched his Ted Talk (should imagine most have) but I never actually read any of his papers so decided to give this one a go.

      I've only read the 2010 paper once. It's very dry and complex but if my understanding of it is correct, Rauschecker is challenging Jastreboff's model.

      It seems his contention is that far from the limbic system being out of kilter as a response to the tinnitus precept (essentially Jastreboff's thesis), it is dysfunction with the limbic system that causes it to fail to filter out the tinnitus precept after what is described as, lesion-induced plasticity of the auditory pathways (in common parlance, damaged hair cells).

      If correct then Rauschecker's work on this subject was hugely significant in breaking the Jastreboff spell and moving the science of tinnitus forward. Yet here we are, 12 years later, and despite there being promising advances in the research field, not a great deal has changed in the clinical pathway. Why is that?

      When I was first diagnosed with tinnitus 30 years ago (remember there was no Internet back then) I was told to go home and learn to deal with it. And that's how life was for me for 25 years. However, after my significant worsening 5 years ago I arrived at the fortunate (or unfortunate) position of being able to understand that my original tinnitus was very mild.

      It's my absolutely categorical opinion that the thing hampering progress the most right now is the clinical subtyping or lack thereof of tinnitus. As I say, I now know that the tinnitus I had at the beginning of my own journey was a very mild form of it, even though it was bloody vexing at the time (as the loss of silence is) because within about 3 years I had fully habituated. My habituation was so complete that, as bizarre as it may sound, if you'd offered me complete silence I probably would have refused it. I can't say the same today.

      There are millions of people out there with tinnitus and it seems likely to me that most have it in a very mild form. The tragedy here of course is that had I been offered a Jastreboffian type therapy early on, my own successful initial path to self-habituation would have been credited to the therapy and not the natural result of 'just getting used to it' like most people with mild tinnitus seem to do.

      This situation clearly has to change because I think it's very suspect to suggest that a talking therapy with sound can help extreme cases. Again, I know through experience the difference between mild and severe tinnitus and they are not one and the same thing.

      At least now, people like Christopher Cederroth are making these distinctions and flagging up the importance of them in a clinical setting. And we also have evidence here on this forum that the Bionics Institute in Australia has been able to objectively measure tinnitus severity. So I guess steps are being made in the right direction, albeit at a snail's pace.

      I just find it so sad and disappointing that Rauschecker released his paper circa 12 years ago and yet here we are today with nothing really much changed in the treatment pathway (I think Rauschecker's paper may have influenced rTMS but I don't believe this treatment is a standard therapy).

      For mild tinnitus I think Jastreboff's protocol may still be relevant and help speed up habituation. Not so for the severe cases where I have to say, it's high time the rule book is re-written.
       
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    23. PeteJ
      Aggressive

      PeteJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma?
      Any of you guys have your tinnitus worsen over time i.e. get to insanely loud levels?

      TRT & CBT are both garbage TO me.

      I am interested in miracle cures like nerve regeneration, etc.

      I don't even have fluctuations anymore. I think loud noise/acoustic trauma worsens tinnitus because there's a reduced threshold now. I don't have a scientific basis for that but what else could it be?

      Lots of people reassure others (noobs, mostly?) that tinnitus improves over time but that's not my experience.

      If we have neurological/brain damage, too - how are you supposed to treat that, too? :-(

      My tinnitus is a ringing/buzzing that seems to overwhelm throughout the ears and brain. It's very difficult to describe and I don't really have a good description (in words) to give to people anymore. Not that I could give them a good idea anyway and even if I could, it wouldn't matter, right?

      I could never create even an equivalent "tinnitus sound" for anyone so how do tinnitus scientists study this?
       
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    24. danielthor

      danielthor Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Denmark
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Have you looked into peptides? A number of people have had success with one of them, BPC-157. There’s a thread here for it.

      Looks like I’m gonna be the first to try Cerebrolysin, at least for hyperacusis. I start my first injection tomorrow. Having high hopes.
       
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    25. Exit

      Exit Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Hope you improve some.
       
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    26. Exit

      Exit Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      How did it go...? Is it in the ear or veins?

      I’m really depressed today...

      Hugs everyone!
       
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    27. danielthor

      danielthor Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Denmark
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      My friend is still working on the instructions for my dad. It goes into muscle.
       
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    28. David S

      David S Member Benefactor Ambassador

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2013
      @Exit, me too. I see no other solution than going back to a high dose of AD. Might trigger my tinnitus. Who knows but I can’t go on like this. Hugs to you all!

      upload_2022-2-18_19-56-6.jpeg
       
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    29. Exit

      Exit Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Okay, thanks for the info.

      Grateful for all the guinea pig people around here <3

      I have only tried vitamins, Ginkgo, beer and lots of Valium...

      Not so much fun as you might think :)
       
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    30. Wrfortiscue
      Cowabunga

      Wrfortiscue Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Trauma
      I only started getting better after doing CBT. It hasn’t removed the reactivity but it’s lessening the loudness with time. I used to wake up 100 dB screeching. Now on good days I don’t even notice it.

      Distract all day. Would love a cure to relax when I have bad days though.

      On bad days I just try and shrug it off. I’m getting better at handling the bad days. “Oh it’s just loud beeping, hissing, screeching, buzzing tones, it will go away soon.” Sometimes it lessens in an hour, other times in days. No treatments, no cures... can curl up and give up in life but I’ve been dealt the shitty hand with health.

      I know one thing and it’s protect when in doubt. Hope you all find relief soon.

      P.S.
      I was having suicidal thoughts for 20+ years. It was getting old. Brainwash yourself if you can and keep building on it. I mean if you can. I understand some cases are too severe. I’m sorry for you <3
       
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