Suicidal

Yeah I hear you. Back in my hypochondriac days I tried like 5 ADs and nearly killed myself. Double edge sword.

 

Antidepressant in the morning, herbal teas at noon, painkillers during the day, benzo in the evening, Melatonin before sleep. I have soup in my stomach.

 

OT: I started binge watching Fringe. I had watched it back in real time when it aired.

@Wrfortiscue, glad you are doing better. I "live with it" as well. I am fortunate where mine does calm down when inflammation calms down. I sold my drums.

 

@Zugzug, how are you keeping?

 

No, I haven't. I don't have much hope for stuff like that but I wouldn't be one of the first guinea pigs anyway. Not because I wouldn't try it but the studies/roll-out of the treatment won't be near me.

I am inclined to think any miracle treatment will be a surgery, maybe laser or something like that. Even if I am not regularly reading the research section here, I know that access to the ear and brain is extremely difficult for implementing a treatment for tinnitus.

But, I would do anything (with reason) to reduce my tinnitus ringing volume. It's so bad, I really believe I would take a convenient/no-risk suicide method at this point.

P.S. Good luck on your injection treatments. Would be awesome if it helped.

 

Fuck this hellish curse. I can’t see how it’s ever gonna get better when it’s this fucked. My piece of shit brain deserves to be destroyed for having failed me like this. I wish to shoot myself in the head to make a statement.

 

Here is a photo of me from 1 month into the future. Unable to move, speak, eat, breathe due to my broken sensory nervous system. When I say I want out while I can, I mean it. God damn survival instinct, bullshit programming.

 

Try Baclofen, 10-25 mg. It's kind of benzos' kinder little sister. Works on GABA-B instead of -A.

When I take it at bedtime, my tinnitus is gone the next day. I have to wait a few days for it to have that effect again.

Could give you some relief.

I think it's as good, if not better than benzos to calm those fusiform cells in the DCN.

It's really an anti-spastic muscle-relaxant drug. Not supposed to be as addictive as benzos either.

Good luck. Hope it works for you

 

I'm so sick of this shit, every fucking time my life seems to be getting better my tinnitus gets worse and I have to start all over again. I lose all my motivation to do anything and the antidepressants aren't doing jack shit. I fucking hate tinnitus so fucking much, worst fucking "symptom" that dumbass evolution could have ever come up with.

Imagine making a symptom to warn something is wrong only to end up killing your "host" because of said symptom. Everyday just feels like more endless suffering that in the end will only lead to more suffering and eventually death.

I apologise for being so negative but I'm done with this bullshit symptom and I am really at a loss on how it's 2022 and there still isn't a definite fix for this garbage.

 

Me too.

 

Even I would say it's worth trying. Any side effects?

You said your tinnitus is gone the next day? All day?

What is the usual state of your tinnitus?

*I* think many on here have various states of tinnitus. You can read on here of some ppl professing to have unbelievably loud tinnitus - myself included.

I don't believe there's a product out there that significantly affects that, let alone makes the tinnitus "disappear!" Something lowering the volume considerably, even temporarily, would be a miracle.

 

I can so relate. I’m so tired of the cycle of my tinnitus permanently changing, taking months to get used to it. Life finally seems bearable and then it happens again. Over 10 years of this now. I was doing quite well in February but struggling again today. I hope this doesn’t turn into weeks and months this time.

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your struggle. Mine is very reactive so I know how it feels. Have you identified why your tinnitus have gotten worse with time? If it's due to noise exposure, it would make sense to up the hearing protection slightly to prevent further worsening.

Wishing you well,
Stacken

 

How are you Stacken? I haven’t seen you for a good while?

 

First of all I'd like to thank everyone for the support.

In regards to your question, I actually have no idea. After developing tinnitus, I started putting the volume at the lowest there is on everything I own. It's around 1/6 (lowest volume I use) to 1/4 (max volume I use) of the audio bar of your average smartphone. I don't actually use "real" hearing protection but instead use my earphones (turned off) when I want to block sounds that bother me or feel too loud, after I put them on it stops bothering me and doesn't feel loud anymore so I assume it works but I could be totally wrong.

The last time it got worse was yesterday after my gym routine (hence why I posted for the first time instead of just lurking like I usually do), I recently started exercising again after losing all motivation to do so after my tinnitus got worse for the second time back in September of last year.

The doctor I went to seemed to think it was some sort of Otosclerosis but he wasn't positive, he told me to wait a year before redoing the audiometry evaluation (which will be soon) and take the results back to him so he could be sure.

Best wishes,
justguts

 

Thanks for asking, buddy. Hope you're well.

I think the trend is headed in the right direction, but it's incredibly slow. The tinnitus has its ups and downs. I'm in somewhat of a spike currently, so trying to manage that. 3 steps forward, 2 steps back you know.

 

Yep I do know. I spiked bad last night with nightmares, woke up and all gone. Odd.

 

I'm probably going to kill myself in 2 years if my tinnitus hasn't gone away completely. I have been in mental agony for over 10 years because of my severe depression, and when I made the worst decision of my life, trying to take an antidepressant, I got severe tinnitus. After 3 weeks of a shitty drug that I never wanted to take gave me permanent tinnitus. How? Please tell me how? None of my doctors care how it caused it because it's not their problem.

Well, now, I am 10x more depressed with severe tinnitus. I hate my life so much. I was already sad, lonely unmotivated and ready to kill myself. But now I will solely kill myself because of tinnitus and the never ending ringing.

 

I have been fine tuning my exit bag strategy. Hit a few kinks to sort out. Just don't really have the ability to tolerate 24/7 protection, especially with my new tone. I just don't really have the ability to tolerate 24/7 protection, especially with my new tone.

I'm still having to fulfill obligations that I feel are making me worse like driving, cleaning etc. Just small daily living requirements. But noxacusis makes things impossible. My mother said she could try to help me financially, but I don't want to eat up her retirement on this disease and she wants me to get therapy. I just find it very hard to get therapy when I've told her I'm struggling with driving, talking to someone as I have to wear at least one layer of high NRR hearing protection at all times and in public two layers.

I feel like the walls are closing in on me. Benzos seem to help calm my tinnitus down again after not taking them for about a year, but I only have a month's supply left if I were to start back full time and again getting a psych who will prescribe without an office visit and drug testing seems far-fetched. Maybe I am catastrophizing things, but I am so broken right now I don't have the clarity to work through all these problems that are piling up on me.

 

Count yourself lucky.

I'm currently trying to level up before I take on the elite four by exclusively catching Digletts. The problem is that despite the fact I'm running a catch combo of 40+ I'm only averaging 300 experience points per Diglett, which is pitiful.

Prior to this I had a catch combo of around 80+ Ponytas, which was giving me between 1000 and 4000 experience points per catch, but I got cocky thinking I could kill two birds with one stone and obtain a ground type that would be effective against electric types, at the same time as boosting my experience points by transferring my catches solely to Digletts.

As you can see, I was wrong.

I'm now running low on ultra balls (currently 17 left) and cash for ultra balls. So reaching a dead end, as my options are now: continue catching Digletts and hope that the experience points suddenly jump into 4 figures, but run the risk of having to continue buying ultra balls (which cost ₽500 per ball) and eventually run out of cash (₽68,505 left) (so feel free to do the math(s) on that). Alternatively, I could switch back to Ponytas, but having dropped my impressive combo on those, I'd probably end up harvesting even less points than I am for the Digletts.

Third option is to just give up on the levelling up and go and face the elite four now, but I don't fancy my chances, and one loss could end up wiping out what's left of my money.

The funniest part is, if you look up solutions on the internet, it tells you "it's easy to keep making money by speaking to the woman outside the Pewter City Museum with the slowpoke, who will give you a pearl each day for watching it for her". Great sorted! Except what they don't tell you, is that a day is in fact a serious 24 hours, and one pearl gives you only ₽4000... Like mate, that ain't gonna cut it.

I could mess around with the Lite's clock, but I've done that before with sword, and that f*cked up the whole spawning system, so I'm apprehensive of going down that route.

So basically f*cked and not sure how much longer I can go on.

If some miracle doesn't occur soon think I'm just gonna end it all.

 

Wut.

 

Must be some severe out of context @Damocles lol.

 

I mean we're all struggling here.

But you've gotta keep it in perspective.

At least you guys stand a chance.

 

Hmmm... you sounded like @Ed209 on a crypto spike

Zzzzzz.

Hope you’re alright

 

If there isn't a serious medical solution for tinnitus in the foreseeable future, I only have three options.

1. I will give in to how the thread is titled here.

2. I'll put myself in a coma until there's a miracle cure maybe 10 years from now.

3 . I lose everything I love, my work, my love, my music, my positivity. The only thing I can do is throw loud masking sounds on my ears from early in the morning (which makes things worse) and indulge in alcohol or other drugs at the same time.

In 2019, I fought painfully for my life in the intensive care unit for three weeks, then met the love of my life, but the 24/7, 9/10 tinnitus is draining my reserves more and more every month.

There hasn't been any remote relief for tinnitus for 50 years of research.

All these posts here in the Research News section, is that just a bit of a placebo for our souls?

Do you really believe that you can make a difference in such a complex topic?

 

With ears anything can happen...

Sorry for your struggles. You are valuable to our community.

This year is make or break for most of the companies on our research threads, so let’s not give in yet...

 

Sorry, but I’m not amused. I came the closest I’ve ever gotten to killing myself today. And I don’t mean just feeling the strongest about committing the act in my mind.

If someone isn’t ranting to get this thread closed then they are cracking jokes off the back of posts made out of desperation.

I guess I’ll just do something I’ve never done before on here and block you. Be well @Damocles.

 

I was speaking to someone with noxacusis and tinnitus, who has obtained significant relief from Cymbalta.

 

Thank you for telling me. I’ll look into it. How severe was there case, if you know?

Edit: Just looked it up. Thanks for the recommendation. Unfortunately, anything that messes with Serotonin sends my tinnitus through the roof .